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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / as,m (1247 Views)
My Anxiety Is About To Ruin My Relationship – Kate (image) / Our Relationship With God (2) (3) (4)
as,m by Nobody: 9:22am On Dec 16, 2016 |
asn 1 Like |
Re: as,m by BlackDBagba: 9:26am On Dec 16, 2016 |
I'm coming |
Re: as,m by Nobody: 9:36am On Dec 16, 2016 |
Deep issues bruv, deep ish.... A lot of religious folks who are committed to their religious want their immediate relations to share the same passion/zeal they have. Hence, they find it quite worrying when their close ones seems to display laxity and nonchalance to the religion they proclaim. Even more worrying to her, I'm sure, is your geniality to other religions. In their mind, geniality = acceptance, and the only religion a quite religious individual believes is true is his own and no other. They feel "if this person is not close to God, what assurance do I have that he won't leave me"....and other illogical thought processes like that. Not their fault; it's just their worldview. My advice is that you either dig in deep and begin to show commitment in whatever religion she's doing........ Or you call her to the table and tell her that even though you're religious, you don't see the need for all this (this might blow up in your face tho).... I'm sure there are other more subtle options but subtlety is not my thing as human relationships sometimes confuse me 2 Likes |
Re: as,m by olagbemi118(m): 10:01am On Dec 16, 2016 |
Ur fiancée somewhere, somehow has a plan B and she might be looking for excuses to quit. Wise up bro. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: as,m by Topgainer: 10:16am On Dec 16, 2016 |
She is right. If that is the only fault she finds with you, then it is a simple matter and you can make that sacrifice to please her. So from today consciously show more commitment to activities in your local church, prayers and the others. While you do that, tell her to beware of some pastors who give advice that are self-serving, that prolong singlehood among eligible people and destroy homes with those tags of if he isn't our member he isn't a born again. Try her Church and Compare with your Cele who knows it might bring out the commitment she desired from you. We are not yet mature like the West where two individuals with opposing faiths can live peacefully as husband and wife. I will explain later in the afternoon 1 Like |
Re: as,m by Nobody: 12:58pm On Dec 16, 2016 |
SirWere: I cannot pretend, that's why I am not committed to organized religion again, too many inconsistencies. 1 Like |
Re: as,m by Nobody: 1:01pm On Dec 16, 2016 |
Topgainer: Sh attends Daystar and I don't mind. I just can't deal with organize religion, my family and I have close ties with celestial church though but I am not heavily invested in it. |
Re: as,m by Nobody: 1:02pm On Dec 16, 2016 |
olagbemi118: I feel she's loyal. |
Re: as,m by AccidentalGenius: 1:10pm On Dec 16, 2016 |
Fiyinfoluwa20: one can only compromise so much before it becomes harmful to them. let her know you cannot do what shes softly asking u to. religion is a big issue. like she said, she wants to get married to someone who sees the world like she does(someone intolerant who looks down on other religion and uplifts theirs). youre liberal. she isnt. this will cause problems. 1 Like |
Re: as,m by LaDolceVita: 1:23pm On Dec 16, 2016 |
She has a problem with the fact that you're tolerant? That's a red flag in my opinion. Think of what she is asking you to do - would she even consider it if you asked her to be less religious in order to connect with you? But you should go the other way to appease her... Personally, i wouldn't have gotten this far with someone this religious. When there is something non negotiable like that in a relationship, it will definitely cause problems. |
Re: as,m by Nobody: 1:30pm On Dec 16, 2016 |
Fiyinfoluwa20:Then a tabletalk is the only way then..... Goodluck! |
Re: as,m by Nobody: 1:31pm On Dec 16, 2016 |
LaDolceVita: Exactly bro, she even said we wouldn't be on this level if I was a Muslim- I pretended not to hear that. I believe love is supposed to make us see ourselves beyond whatever creed we confess , why are we then educated if we cannot accept people for who they are? I am just seeking some sort of middle ground where we both have to compromise to be together, I don't think she's ready. 2 Likes |
Re: as,m by Nobody: 1:32pm On Dec 16, 2016 |
SirWere: Thanks mahn. |
Re: as,m by Nobody: 1:34pm On Dec 16, 2016 |
AccidentalGenius: Thanks. |
Re: as,m by Nobody: 7:29am On Dec 17, 2016 |
Still on the matter. |
Re: as,m by CoolUsername: 9:46am On Dec 17, 2016 |
Fiyinfoluwa20: Honesty is the best policy in this matter. If you're not personally convinced to be a devout Christian, then you need to let her know that you can't change your stance. Even if you were to start going to church all the time and praying round the clock, would it be genuine or would it be to appease her? As far as I know, conviction is not a conscious choice. You can deceive yourself and put up a façade for others but you can't will yourself to be convinced. You should make your decision clear. You should be prepared for the worst, though. What would you do if she leaves you or gives you an ultimatum? You will need to be mentally and emotionally prepared for any outcome. 1 Like |
Re: as,m by damogul: 10:08am On Dec 17, 2016 |
Fiyinfoluwa20: Young man you cannot bring serious issues like this before kids here on nairaland who are still in the parents houses and expect them to offer you good advice. Look for elderly people around you who you can confide in and who can give you sound counsel and let you realize that any union is all about sacrifice. You cannot eat your cake and have it...You being the intended groom are the one to make more sacrifices in order to woo your bride unless you do not love her deeply enough for that to happen. Stop putting your mature matters before kids. 2 Likes |
Re: as,m by Nobody: 5:26pm On Dec 17, 2016 |
damogul: Not all adults would understand brother, I understand what you' trying to say, succumbing to her every whim and caprice may mark the beginning of the end. |
Re: as,m by Nobody: 5:31pm On Dec 17, 2016 |
CoolUsername: Of course, I would pained if she leaves me. I have introduced her to family and friends. But the show has got to go on. |
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