In female company, when you spot an attractive male and noticing their lithe body makes your palms sweat,

you are likely to end up chastising your own ‘impure’ thoughts. Having such feelings is no crime, and you need to calm down and ascertain if you really are homosexual or are just in the throes of a rebellious infatuation streak. Let this guide aid the confused in finding a way through this state to discovering their true self.

1. Understand Sexual Identity
The first step to this is to evaluate one’s notion of sexual identity. Society defines a homosexual as someone attracted to members of the same sex. Human beings are driven by their identity, desire and behaviour when it comes to spotting a potential mate. A straight person is attracted to a member of the opposite sex, whereas a homosexual finds attraction with the same sex. A bisexual seeks sexual gratification from both sexes, whereas an asexual person lacks arousal irrespective of any sex. By understanding these definitions, one needs to evaluate where they stand.

2. Understand YOUR Sexual Identity
Often known as ‘coming out’, the concept of attraction and arousal runs to deeper waters. A proven straight individual sometimes experiences arousal watching homosexual acts. Does that make him/her a gay? One needs to think about their feelings and try to ascertain the direction that it is heading towards. Many people know from early years that they are attracted to members of the same sex. Others realise this in their later years. If you feel that your experience of arousal is within this principle, you are indeed a step closer to understand your true nature.

3. Research
Often reading about similar experiences relating to the confusion and acceptance, eases the acceptance of one’s own discovery. Volumes of books are available on this subject with first hand incidents and anecdotes to help the confused identify these traits early. The Internet is also a helpful resource in this regard. Searching for gay support group for guidance and help is also a great aid in learning about yourself.

4. Acceptance
The last and final step in this regard is accepting one’s identity. Easily considered the hardest step of it all, closeted homosexuals often struggle with this notion and try to reject it by adopting a heterosexual lifestyle hoping to consciously erase the urges. One’s personal identity isn’t chalked up on blackboards to be wiped away and written anew. It is written in stone and is unchangeable. The sooner you accept it, the quicker will you be able to adapt to your life changes.

At the end of the day, it is ‘who’ one falls in love with that defines who they are. In this regard, being homosexual is something that needs careful and deep introspection.


MORE LOVE AND SEX POSTS: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/love-sex