bbmpin:

Some agreed!

We can both agree also that "most" eventually end up lost!

It's never a good thing to be born into a dysfunctional home, That's why "family care" is a very "important topic" in Any society today

Studies show that most criminals, rapist etc became who they were because they lacked love!

pocohantas:

Exactly what you intend telling her where?
Some people need and seek advise anonymously, NL comes in here.

Don't you jump on different threads forming adviser? These kinda threads gives everyone opportunity to play counsellor, including yourself. Don't act like you don't support it, considering the fact you're on 90% of them.

I know you're trying to fit into the almighty mature family section, sequel to romance section brouhaha. Take it easy.

Twaci:
Dude seems like you are screaming

Easy there

Troubledheart, I'll use his words now;
If you can't love and provide for kids DON'T HAVE THEM! #think about the child

...but if you can, why waste it?

Berbierklaus:

Excuse me?
can you explain what you mean by the bolded

bbmpin:

Mornin' mi amiga!

Sorry bout that, Wasn't my intention!

I just needed you to understand things and show some empathy (think about the child and mother)

When disaster can be prevented it's "usually" advisable that you do that, It's not about what "feels right" but doing what is "right"

Mimzyy:


Morning Bae. Compliments.

pocohantas:
Welcome

Lolz funny matured people

pocohantas:

Exactly what you intend telling her where?
Some people need and seek advise anonymously, NL comes in here.

Don't you jump on different threads forming adviser? These kinda threads gives everyone opportunity to play counsellor, including yourself. Don't act like you don't support it, considering the fact you're on 90% of them.

I know you're trying to fit into the almighty mature family section, sequel to romance section brouhaha. Take it easy.

Mindfulness:
@troubledheart

It is good you decided to talk to the man who impregnated you. Whether he believes that you want to trap him with the pregnancy or not is pretty irrelevant. He has to know that you are pregnant because he is responsible for the pregnancy - along with you of course. The decision whether you should abort or not should be made together. I hope he is the gentle type and will be sensitive enough.

You have a child so you already know what it takes to raise a child. And you know yourself and if you can handle the responsibility of a second child. Soon you will know if the father of the child is willing to assist you or not, which will be a big factor in your decision, I guess.

If you decide to abort the pregnancy (maybe not), then do it as soon as possible. A few weeks will make a HUGE difference. You do not want to abort when the foetus starts to take on a human shape, it will be more difficult then, psychologically.

For all those here speaking out against abortion, I respect their views but none of them will assist you with the child's upbringing so make your own decision. It is your cross to bear whatever decision you take.

I wish you well from the bottom of my heart. I know it is not easy. Kuddos to you and may the future bring more ease to your life.

Divay22:
Just sit down and decide what you'll do with it,All the comments i have seen,some have suggested Abortion or having the baby,you have one way or the other given them reasons Why you can't Abort or have the baby......
Let your Ex know about it,whatever he decides you can then work on that........you are the one wearing the shoe and you know where it pisses We can only advice which everyone has done,so it up to you now to choose which is worth it.....




Remember we are free to carry out our actions but we ain't free from the consequences of it,whatever you do ask your creator for direction......



Peace

pocohantas:

Exactly what you intend telling her where?
Some people need and seek advise anonymously, NL comes in here.

Don't you jump on different threads forming adviser? These kinda threads gives everyone opportunity to play counsellor, including yourself. Don't act like you don't support it, considering the fact you're on 90% of them.

I know you're trying to fit into the almighty mature family section, sequel to romance section brouhaha. Take it easy.

troubledheart:
I know a lot of you will condemn me to the fullest.. I deserve it I know.
They say the first is always accepted to be a mistake, but afterwards it's a choice.
I am a regular and well known nairalander, had to create this account to hide my identity.
I'm a single mother of one.
Just discovered right now that I'm pregnant for a recent ex(I already conceived unknowingly before the breakup )...and telling him about it is not even an option.
I feel so bad because I know I can't keep it...
I never expected this because all through the relationship I was careful.. condoms and contraceptives..up to the last time we met and that's why am so sad..while abortion is the best option for me right now, my heart wishes differently..I wish there was another way.. I can't even tell anyone I know about it, hence my typing this here..
My story is actually too long to type.. but am far from a bad person. I have a good heart and I love with all I've got, I'm not moved by material things and I often assist my partner wen I can, yet I always end up loving the wrong ones.
I don't want to be pitied, I can take the hard truth.

troubledheart:


Saw him last on the 6th of December. Last period started 16th of November...
I called him this morning. His exacts words were so am going to be father very soon? I told him I don't want to keep it and he asked how old it is, told him I plan to do a scan later today to be certain. And he said OK, no problem, take care and ended the call.

bbmpin:

Some agreed!

We can both agree also that "most" eventually end up lost!

It's never a good thing to be born into a dysfunctional home, That's why "family care" is a very "important topic" in Any society today

Studies show that most criminals, rapist etc became who they were because they lacked love!

Berbierklaus:
I don't know the joy people find in bringing their life's issue on Nairaland,no matter how anonymous you think you are.
What happens to talking to a pastor,counselor, or family member, or even a friend?
I wonder how y'all feel having people throw different opinions here and there on your matter
Well what do I know.

Mimzyy:


It takes less than a minute to get a mail notification on NL. I am yet to receive any.

troubledheart:


You don't know the whole story. . And what you are assuming based on what you have read is quite wrong. I don't want to start telling you everything. But it's fine. Your opinion is Wat you have typed. Not actually what it is. I finally told him.. and he has called again that he wants us to see and talk. I'll make my decision after that. You have tried. Thanks for all your sayings.

bennyrazz:
what have i said that is wrong? did you receive your ex-boyfriend spèrm via Bluetooth or flashshare? No be leg you open? you open leg for an irresponsible man for that matter all cuz the thing dey scratch you! o wa l'on se big girl (u kan dey do big girl) u kan dey do skin to skin bcuz u Don get money buy Contraceptives SMH you no see say na thief you be? skin to skin for unmarried couple. You fu•k up all the fu•k! your fu•k up break cup, break bucket. A regular member on NL for that matter, u no dey read wetin dey happen for family section ni? why u go read when romance section na your cabab! The way you are angering me now eeeeeeeen hin be like say make I catch you beat out that evil spirit wey dey make u open leg anyhow comot for ur body! u no get shame at all. Husband u no marry, na to dey carry belle up and down. You kan dey speak grammar say I can't understand! u no get class, u no get sense. I dey sure say na 20naira cabin biscuit and 50 yoghurt make u open leg like that. if you dare try abort that belle, hin don be for You

DarkRebel101:


People weren't harsh in their criticism when she made the mistake the first time - that explains why she didn't learn from it. Handle a defaulter with kid gloves and he/she would most likely crawl back into the same pool of vomit.

Last time I checked, she clearly stated she wasn't here to cop a feel of our sympathies, but to have the truth meted out to her without the luxury of euphemisms.

If the truth is too harsh for you, or if it's making you thoroughly uncomfortable, you can always find the nearest wet transformer in your locale to go give a heartfelt Christmas hug.



Point out where she explicitly had that stated.

She had an intention of having a future with an ex-boyfriend that she cannot even confront with the news of her pregnancy. Splendid.



I am not your friend. Only those of high intellectual calibre get to have a spot in my social orbit, not slowpokes who cannot reason their way out of a paper bag.

All I dished to her were constructive criticisms. She after all asked for our input, and I, in turn gave her my piece of mind in all honesty. I wonder why I am being singled out here? Are you so sentimental that you cannot see beyond the wool covering your eyes?

Plans do not always work out—some founder, and some succeed. But that shouldn't deter people from making plans for the future.

She obviously was too cack-handed in the formulation of her plans—assuming she had any. And instead of saying it as it is, you choose to honey-coat the circumstances.



First off, morality is a sham, and I never called her immoral, only reckless and unwise.

Secondly, don't be stupid, will you?—that was a metaphor. I am male, and not female. Cucumbers and dildøs were only used to buttress the point I was making.

How is recognising and stating an axiom – that sex is an integral part of our human nature which cannot be ignored for very long – deprive me of your so-called moral right? Only God knows how this drifted to a lecture about morality.

Priggish changeling.



How was that a sneer? How was inquiring whether the man who fathered her first child is equally responsible for the second baby qualify as a jeer? Know this that you are a veritable simpletøn.

Of all the Nlanders, it was the most petty of the flock that decided to give me a mention on this topic. Ain't that a bïtch?



The same vermin who had the gumption to give me a TED lecture on morality so happens to be the same person advising a woman to MURDER her child in cold blood. Sweet.

What an irony!

I find it quite interesting that your account was created only last night, yet the first person you decided to quote happens to be me How convenient.

Acidosis:
If you continue in this manner, you may end up raising more kids before marriage.

You need to raise a "no marriage, no sex policy". Learn from your mistake and grow.

Personally, I would not use my mouth to recommend abortion as that's clearly against my belief system but I believe you know the best thing for you. Do whatever will give you peace, but remember the aforementioned policy.

You're not a thief until you're caught in the act. A lot of people have had more s.ex than you've ever had, yet they've never conceived. At the end of the day, na who carry belle dey promiscuous.

A lot of men will run away from you when they discover that you've had two kids with different men, not minding the fact that the new lady they run to had dated at least 15 men in Uni, with 3 clean abortions. You cannot cover pregnancy with make-up and virginity cream so fight against 'mistakes', shine your eyes and be wise.

cococandy:
100

EfemenaXY:


Oh just be quiet will you!

How much more insensitive can you be? And more importantly, how is what you've typed going to help her situation?

People make mistakes. Notice the plural word "MISTAKES" not "mistake". Sometimes if you've got nothing productive to say, then say nothing at all.

Have you ever been pregnant??

troubledheart:


Can't tell them. I run my own business and currently about to start my masters. I'm doing OK for myself and I'm turning 26 soon. Giving birth isn't an issue like I said before, but giving the child a quality life. I have too many things on my plate right now to actually do that.

EfemenaXY:


Oh just be quiet will you!

How much more insensitive can you be? And more importantly, how is what you've typed going to help her situation?

People make mistakes. Notice the plural word "MISTAKES" not "mistake". Sometimes if you've got nothing productive to say, then say nothing at all.

Have you ever been pregnant??

bennyrazz:
I can be over insensitive to nonsensical issues especially to people who will always repeat the same mistake. All what i have typed will help her not to get the third pregnancy before marriage. Its a lesson. If people around her had come hard on her when she had the first, she probably wouldnt have had this.

EfemenaXY:



Abeg, chin up and kudos to you dear.

Mindfulness:


I would say that you better ignore all the emotionally disconnected folks on here but it gives me too much satisfaction when you call them to order.

Happy New Year to you my darling and your family as well. May you continue to eloquently speak words of wisdom in 2017 like you always do.

Love you lots!