I apologies for the tedious essay. Feel free to criticize.

I had an interesting conversation with a brilliant writer on Nairaland, read several dialogues about belief and religion, specifically on the recent article about Mark Zuckerberg's faith, and arguments between seun & co. about Mark's supposedly non-atheistic leanings.

The more I read, and saw Nairalanders passionately defend their ideology, the more envious I grew. Knowing not where I stood.
I went to bed that night; desolate. Instead of sleep, I embarked on a journey into the yond of despair. And arose the next morning, half-asleep and bereft of ideas.

Indifference no longer appeals to me, as it once did. I long to stand for something. Something that will give my life meaning beyond the pursuit of happiness or love or accomplishment. I am a man grown, still, I fantasize about a heroic death. My obsession with greatness and immortality are my only weaknesses.

I possess drive, cunning, wit, guts, even feats. Yet I feel something extraordinary is missing. I often find myself contemplating my life's purpose or searching for meaning. My wandering soul longs to set ashore.
Please don't tell me I need Jesus, I once loved him and still felt empty.

Yesterday, I attended the 'traditional' burial of a chieftain in my family. I stood afar and watched in disdain as they performed fetish ceremonies to appease their deity with my late Nze's mortal coil – that moment in-between their chants and the substantial behind of a beatiful lady whisking away my attention – did it hit me. I had relapsed into another episode of existential crisis.

Nothing quite like death to make you question existence.

So far, I have successfully (relatively) weathered life's trials and tribulations; infirmity, penury, injustice, conflict (thrice I survived inter-ethnic and religious clashes), resounding defeat, agonizing grief; and seemingly endless disappointments upon disappointments. Fueled by hate, I have performed Herculean tasks of celestial proportions. The worship a supernatural being has lost its charm.

I neva old finish, but in my younger, philandering days, I attended several religious fellowships while babe-hunting, and subsequent soul-searching. Pentecostal, Catholic, Deeper Life, Jehovah Witness, SCOAN, C & S, AMORC, Eckankar, Ogboni... Name it and I've probably being there. After about a decade of gallivanting, it became stale. So I settled for LFC – for a time.

I also studied countless literatures in search of an elusive answer: Theological (Bible, Quran, Torah, Vedas, Sutras, Toa Te Ching, Kabbala, Book of Enoch, Mormon, Lucifer, Book of the Dead et al); Scientific (Theory of Relativity, Evolution, Quantum, Heliocentrism et al); Philosophical (Existentialism, Confucianism, Synchronicity et al); and Poetic (Dante's Inferno, Divine Comedy, Works of Plato, Socrates, Aristotle, Leonardo da Vinci, Invictus et al)
Over the course of my life, I have worn many hats. Theist. Deist. Spiritist. Atheist. Scientologist. Agnostic. Mystic and other assorted paraphernalia. Anything that made sense at that point in my life was my latest zealotry. I briefly dabbled in ignorance and found it too mundane for my enlightened mind.

My most recent label is 'Open-minded' – willingness to honestly assess the evidence for and against a claim, ignoring opinions and dealing only with facts, following it to where it leads, accepting errors and drawing conclusion only after validation. Essentially, to learn, unlearn and relearn truth.

It is a fine notion that I have sustain for some time now. But the problem is an open-mind is fickle (susceptible to change), and I have literally been flip-flopping about with different ideologies, while holding unto some opinion without recourse to proof. I am devoted to certain intangible beliefs that I term my fundamental truths:

• For one, I am decidedly convinced that there exist a supernatural force or being or entity that directs the affairs of this world. Call it Fate, Chi, Universal Mind, God, Allah, Jehovah, Lucifer... or whatever deity you fancy. Trying to convince me otherwise will be futile. There are far too many coincidences and synchronicities (indiscernible and inexplicable acausal connected occurrences) in life to ignore the existence of providence. But my love or affinity for 'this entity' is under consideration – a subtle way of saying that I utterly despise its rule. In this regard, I may be a 'hatist'

• I believe in magic, miracles and wonders. Several times, I have fortuitously escaped the jaws of death, enjoyed unmerited favours, and reaped fortune where I did not sow (or prayed).
My ancestors were traditionalist, oracles, spiritual healers and warriors. My great grandfather was a legendary warrior-priest who single handedly defended our small town from a large invading tribe. My late grandmother was a renowned ogbanjé. The rest of my extended family are currently either practicing traditionalists, christians or a combination.
I can attest to the efficacy of magic (juju), having briefly used local charms called 'chuk-n-bounce' and 'blow-n-fall' while in secondary school (for self defence).

• And I believe in the power of love....
My belief is not bound by logic, custom or common sense.

An argument once held sway: "Serve God. You have nothing to lose, if he doesn't exist. And everything to gain, if he does." Since my fear of death or eternal damnation has faded with my youthful exuberance and naivety; I am compelled to re-evaluate the basis and motives of my belief. I don't want to worship any god just because am afraid of hell or whatever retribution awaits sinners and unbelievers. It matters not how charged with punishment the scroll; I am the master of my fate; And I refuse to yield to religious blackmail.

My quarrel with religion was inevitable.

My feud with Christianity in particular is aptly summarised in this excerpt from 'Dirt under the rug' by RaggedyAnn:

"...What was the point of it all? Why had God created Adam and Eve, and then put them in the garden with the tree that bore the forbidden fruit, when he didn’t mean for them to eat it? That notion was as fool hardy as putting a goat and a tuber of yam in the same room, and expecting to find the yam intact, several hours later. Surely, God would be cleverer than that. Unless, of course, the ‘fall of man’ was his ultimate intent. Again, what was the point of it all? Why had man been condemned, in a deliberate set-up, only to be expected to claw his way back to salvation? Why had God not spared the blameless Jesus Christ the trouble of the agonizing journey to the cross, by keeping the snake out of the garden? And why had God, purportedly, given man free-will, if there was even the slightest possibility that man’s Will would contradict with God’s Will? Why did he not simply cause man to do what he wanted in the first place, instead of giving him the burden of free-will which was sure to put him in conflict with God? What was the moral justification for punishing man for exercising the free-will which was inflicted upon him by God? It was a sadistic plot that just did not make sense because God was supposed to be infinitely good. But it was not supposed to make sense because, they say, God works in mysterious ways. And with that ludicrous statement, the application of logic and common sense had been cleverly preempted."

Similar dilemmas of the afore-stated proportions are inherent in other religions of the world.


Therefore, my inquisition:

Is religion worth adhering to? Or is there a better way?

you have found your path. Stick to it

mumumugu:
you have found your path. Stick to it

I actually haven't. Thanks anyway.

I don't even understand the op

Damianmarley:
I don't even understand the op

Try to read the whole thing then the last line. It would tell you where the op is driving at

religion has outlived its usefulness bro

for someone who has read so many books and tested so many faiths.... it seems i should be the one with a pen and paper... taking notes... asking questions

I think you are in the best possible position to answer your own question, after all, you've seen it all and done it all.

My question is, what is it all for? In the end, death claims us all.

kindred spirit!

I understand your obsessions all too well. The need to be great - the need to be meaningful. It's a romantic obsession most people lose as they get older, but if it stays with you then you're authentic (Not Peter Pan) - you have that tortured crack in your soul. You are not going to be satisfied just maintaining homeostasis. And I know how easy it is to get frustrated (or depressed even) when it appears you're the only one who seems to care about what really should matter. You feel compelled to carve your eyes out, so that you will be blind and fit in with the rest. But, thankfully, there's always that second thought.

You have the soul of an artist (your writing is awesome). And it is special, so embrace it fully. Don't shy away from your own curiosity.

Belief in something - anything - is important. Because it helps you understand yourself and maintain your balance. Discovering religion is a process of active soul searching.It is especially valuable when you have come full circle - from something to nothing to something. Like Descartes who took the skepticist approach to doubt everything he knew, to discover the truth again for himself. If it comes from within, it has deeper roots that will not be shaken.

I know you said it isn't Jesus......but I took Jesus in isolation. (I told you I subscribe to his philosophy). And his message is love. In spite of the numerous laws written in the Bible, he demonstrated that it was most important to be charitable, tolerant and forgiving. And that is my religion now. What would Jesus do? (Mind that it is not: what would he say?) I would call myself a Christian (follower of Christ) but that label has already been adulterated by the inclusion of the fetishes contained in the Old Testament. I know they say God never changes, but there are marked differences between the Old Testament God and the peaceful, reticence of God now. And I put that down to the biases of the people who told the stories. They were only human after all.

I believe in a God, and that there are many ways people seek to reach him. We don't know where we (as human beings) feature in the grand scheme of things. But if the Bible is to be believed (and if the tale is not just a product of our own vanity), then we are God's dearest and most important creations. All of us equal in the eyes of God. Why should we then, allow our individual quests for reconciliation destroy other people? Christian crusades of old, Islamist jihads of the present, the persecution of homosexuals - the killing of the infidel, robs another person of his opportunity.

I'm digressing into my grouse with organized religion now and I should stop. Thanks for the quote.

Dear Op, I see what you have written and I can, to an extent, understand how you feel. I, like you, have had moments when I questioned the point of it all, the actual truth and the forged lies. Then, I have also, due to traditionally inclined ancestry, concluded on The existence of a supreme being. Irony is, at a point, I believed the supreme being which we worship is us, as this supposed being has to perform only when we are consciously or unconsciously involved in the whole process.


I am here now; where I believe a supreme being exists, but has no particular or designated route of approach. He/she can be reached in anyway. I have also, formulated my own way of reaching him. So, basically; I have no religion. I advice you follow the same procedure. Find your own God. If he isn't there, create him. Worship him as you deem fit and relate as well at your own convenience. Your doctrines are his doctrines, so be it.


Some people have however argued that religion is held at the center by a message of Love. It is, this people say; what the legion of prophets and messiahs that have walked earth at some point have always preached. Love. This people posit that Love should be a religion on its own, or, Love should be the binding principle of the Human race. I second to an extent here.


After all said and done, You are you and only you should carve your own path. Peace be with you.

The title is misleading, op.

This writeup is more poetry than thought... Effing poets


Well, on the existence of God, I can't really say. My philosophy of life is to live as if there isn't one.
My goals, aspirations, dreams are limited to the here and now and more cherished because I believe there is no divine reward elsewhere.

Just live, OP. Live and breathe. Savor each day like a delicious traditional meal. Love too. Not the stupid, repuganant thing the romanticists paint it to be; but a driving interconnecting force between all of mankind, the emotion which drives you to wish the best for humanity for absolutely no reason at all.

Ironically, many claim Jesus preaches love. Maybe he does. But in the scriptures, the man who really emphasized on love is Paul. From Romans to thessalonians, from corinthians to Timothy; Paul recognized that Love is the mutherfecking key to individual and collective contentment and peace; a feeling that can change sinner to saint; a mere unbeliever to a matyr.....

[s]Of course, Love is also a form of communism, when you think about it...[/s]

Live, and f*cking let live op.

And when the Grim Reaper comes; if there be any truly just God, he would gladly welcome you to paradise.

I talk too much

On your feud with Christianity:

GOD created Adam and Eve with conditional immortality: as long as they obeyed, they would live forever. If they disobeyed, they would die. Their access to the tree of life ensured the renewal of the vital vigor that would keep them alive. However, GOD intended to, after a period of testing their loyalty, usher them into unconditional immortality, if they proved themselves trustworthy. GOD cannot afford to immortalize anybody with a tendency to rebel against Him. You now know why Adam and Eve had to prove that they would forever remain loyal to GOD.

When Adam and Eve failed the test, GOD deprived them of the tree of life, because eating of it could have made them immortal in their sinful and fallen state. GOD does not wish to immortalize sin.

Moreover, how could GOD boast to Satan that He has a people on earth who have chosen to obey Him(contrary to Satan's decision) when, in fact, there was no avenue for the people to sin?

Man must choose to obey GOD. CHOOSE!

@RaggedyAnn
Your philosophy has its allure. I will take it under advisement.
Thanks for the valuable insight.

If I set a test for my son, to see how he would handle a certain amount of money, determined to only will my estate to my son if he passes that test, and then he eventually fails the test, did I set my son up? Is it evil for me to determine how responsible the person who's gonna inherit my estate/wealth is? Will I just allow my wealth to fall into the hands of one who would misuse it and probably hurt others with it?

I believe you can now see it from GOD's own POV.

There is what is called THE GREAT CONTROVERSY! Satan, disguised as a snake, came to tempt man to make him disobey GOD. This is a long story I'm tryna cut short. Satan knew that GOD loved man so much, and that if he could get man to disobey GOD, He would still devise a plan through which to save man. Satan thought that either man must die, or GOD would have to violate His law of "death to the sinner." He, in fact, hoped to gain from any plan which GOD makes to restore man, seeing the he himself had been cast out of Heaven.

@Chuksemi

Bros ur head dey der.

I once believed, and sort of still believe, that we are the gods and goddesses of this world. Just that, the occasional powerlessness and helplessness threaten this concept.

Hmmm...

A religion anchored by love appeals to my core beliefs. Will take your contribution under advisement.

Thanks.

On freewill:

In the beginning, GOD intended to create beings whom He can love. He is full of love, and He wanted to create beings who can feel His wonderful love, and then choose to love Him back and obey Him, simply because: 1. He created them 2. He has showered unrestrained love on them.

Robots cannot love GOD. Anything without a mind of its own, without the ability to choose(freewill) cannot love GOD on its own. Therefore, these beings whom GOD would create would have freewill. This way, they can be able to, of their own volition, love and obey GOD as the Creator He is.

Yes, GOD knew right from time that this freewill would surely be abused. He is omniscient. However, should GOD refrain from creating objects of His love, who can love Him back freely, simply because one of these creatures would choose to abuse that freewill? No. If such a situation arises, He is able to salvage it. He is omnipotent.

You now know why Lucifer came about.

@SirWere

Effing poets.... Lol. I kinda doubt i qualify as one.

Your charge, "to live, and f**king let live" is well recieved.

coolk:
.

i believe you've studied most religions
pls can i ask a few questions??

the op sabi lie you think say e day easy to join sciencetology??

Deicide:
the op sabi lie you think say e day easy to join sciencetology??

Modified:
I apologies if I've offended your sensibility.

Thanks anyway.

@Wilgrea7

I don't think am in a position to offer much help. I don't claim to be an authority on any religion (as some might think).
I myself have countless unanswered questions.

Well, state your case for everyone to explore. I promise to contribute my modest unbiased opinion.

@DoctorAlien

Thanks for painstakingly reading my essay and offering your opinion.

These are my crux with your arguments:

The first is a paradox.
How does an all knowing (omniscient), all powerful (omnipotent) and all present (omnipresent) God, NOT know if man – created in his image and likeness; kept in a garden under his supervision (supernatural prerogative), 'commanded' not to eat from a beautiful tree with enticing fruits he planted in the middle, resist the cunning of a serpent he made – will disobey him? Genesis 2:8-25, 3:1-24 (the devil is in the details)

Maybe we were setup to fail this 'test!'

Is Lucifer not Immortal? Did he not rebel against God?
(according to the bible)

... ... ... more query loading.

coolk:
@DoctorAlien

Thanks for painstakingly reading my essay and offering your opinion.

This are my crux with your arguments:

The first is a paradox.
How does an all knowing (omniscient), all powerful (omnipotent) and all present (omnipresent) God, NOT know if man – created in his image and likeness; kept in a garden under his supervision (supernatural prerogative), 'commanded' not to eat from a beautiful tree with enticing fruits he planted in the middle, resist the cunning of a serpent he made – will disobey him? Genesis 2:8-25, 3:1-24 (the devil is in the details)

Maybe we were setup to fail this 'test!'

Is Lucifer not Immortal? Did he not rebel against God?
(according to the bible)

... ... ... more query loading.

He knew man would disobey Him. He put man to a test because Satan could argue that man was sinless only because he lacks an avenue to sin.

Nope. The devil is not immortal; he will be destroyed at the end.(see Isa. 14; Ezek. 28)

@DoctorAlien

Hmmm... The devil is not immortal!
I re-read the chapters you provided. It isn't quite clear. I will study it carefully and compare with verses in the book of Revelation, Enoch, Lucifer, ...et al (I have to be unbiased). Thanks.

To other matters:

I confess to sometimes read religious scriptures in search of inconsistencies. I also admit that the gospel has the fewest (I have observed). But they exist. Those things that simply don't make sense about religion and God.
I know that God is suppose to be all wise, and his ways unfathomable. I just wish to find and understand my own way.

Free will is an illusion.
And you need not disbelieve in God to arrive at this conclusion.
Every single moment, we are coaxed by forces of nature, nurture, instinct, family, society, rulers, lust, money, hunger,... to do its bidding.
I still attend religious fellowships every now and then; but I know I am compelled more by habit and curiosity than by faith. It is a conscious choice necessitated by fate.

Do you think you are free to do as you will?
The Laws of God. Constitutions of Men. Limitations of Being. Disproves this. Even common sense violently protest this.

We only think we are free; to preserve our sanity.

OP is smooth

coolk,

I truly believe that I am absolutely free to do whatever I like. And so is everyone else.

However, nobody, including me, is free from the consequence of what we do, for every action/inaction has a consequence.

What a write up.... i could not just stop reading.

struggle no more my brother....i hated religion before... i de taste custom and tradition....in fact

God will locate you soon.....you will find fulfillment.

coolk:


I apologies if I've offended your sensibility.

But the fact that you can't correctly spell Scientology or your username 'Decide' for that matter, tells me I shouldn't waste my time explaining something as complex as religion (a belief in...) to your simple mind.

Thanks anyway.

It is somewhat ironic that someone who claims to understand 'complexities' of religion does not know that 'deicide' is a word.

OP. Why the title?

urheme:
What a write up.... i could not just stop reading.

struggle no more my brother....i hated religion before... i de taste custom and tradition....in fact

God will locate you soon.....you will find fulfillment.

You seem to be sharing 'God's location' to everyone these days. Your Dunamis experience must have been something.

DoctorAlien, hold your breathe and slowly count to hundred...

@Ranchhoddas
Deicide: the killer of a god. Thanks.