I have just got dumped basicallly-.I'm a grown woman-i have kids and got into a relationship not even for that long-a few months so why do i feel like crying all the time.
I feel so heartbroken.

Awwww, dunno what to say except, hang in there, this too shall pass. Try not to be too depressed about it, stay strong for your children, someone else would come along sweets

i am crying writing this-i REALLY liked him-still do but for reasons he couldnt control he said he couldnt be with me.We got on so well.

im sorry about that, but only time will make you feel better.
I know how bad you feel, and its a terrible feeling. And people will tell you,
"everything heals with time" And its true, but it takes some people longer than others.
The first few days are the worst, you just need to surround yourself with people who love you.
Friends, Family, etc, they'll be supportive and will make you feel better.
But everything heals with time, so just hold in there. wish you all the best.

tell us what happened, let it out, it will make u feel better

Well, U have to try and move on. Shit happens and for a reason too.

Its hard but find stuff to do that willl help U get ur mind off him, hobbies, friends, just do something.

who said you cant get someone better? Hey baby- cry no more, there are many out there who will die to get yah.

@ gingeranny

wHAT IS THE REASON FOR HIM dUMPING YOU.

That would be that start of your healing process.

Was it something abut you, you need to change.

he has ways of doing things that he says are as important as breathing-well they were my words which he agreed with.
if i sat on his bed i would occassionally forget and put my slippers on there, i kept a tissue i'd used next to me before i put it in the bin-what else-i forgot to wash my hands once when i came in from outside and ate,i wiped my hands on my trousers-i dont know why-after i ate.
what made it worse-and this is quite personal i had an all over shower but didnt wash myself in, a place, because i didnt have a flannel which i would normally use.its not like i never wash-i am a very clean person but for some reason i cant really answer i didnt-this freaked him out and he said he cant trust that i ever properly wash myself-or words to that afffect.
if hes with someone and they are going to be close to him he has to know that he can be free around them and he doesnt feel that way anymore.he no longer feels safe around me.
he said his sexual desire for me has decreased and it may come back but he doesnt know but i can keep in touch with him
in the last day i stayed after this happened he couldnt sleep because he said he cant get the thoughts out of his head-that my hygeine is low-and he has regularly been "close" to me-he wouldnt kiss me or even really touch me-it made me feel like a leper and it hurt so much.
he is one of those people that -well you cant change his mind-and i wish he would but i dont think he will.
On the way back-what made it worse was i had bought him a keyring and i couldnt get the other part as it was never in the shop-the first bit he had-i walked past the shop and ironically they had the 2nd part of the keyring there.i feel so bad.

gingeranny:

I have just got dumped basicallly-.I'm a grown woman-i have kids and got into a relationship not even for that long-a few months so why do i feel like crying all the time.
I feel so heartbroken.

Be strong Sist. d best is always yet to come; heartbreaks do come and go, as said early on-This too shall pass.

Cheers

BoredAtWor:

@ gingeranny

wHAT IS THE REASON FOR HIM dUMPING YOU.

That would be that start of your healing process.

Was it something abut you, you need to change.

The answer is here below, People can't explain why they are dumping others a lot of times, and with good reasons too. A classic case of what you don't know wouldn't hurt.

gingeranny:

i am crying writing this-i REALLY liked him-still do [size=14pt]but for reasons he couldnt control he said he couldnt be with me.[/size]We got on so well.

Being heartbroken is not for kids alone. Cry and move on.

Noone has ever complained of my cleanliness before-apart from the fact i'm too clean-and dont stop cleaning, if anything but he said for a while now hes been observing me-this weekend was the straw that broke the camels back.

gingeranny:

he has ways of doing things that he says are as important as breathing-well they were my words which he agreed with.
if i sat on his bed i would occassionally forget and put my slippers on there, i kept a tissue i'd used next to me before i put it in the bin-what else-i forgot to wash my hands once when i came in from outside and ate,i wiped my hands on my trousers-i dont know why-after i ate.
what made it worse-and this is quite personal i had an all over shower but didnt wash myself in, a place, because i didnt have a flannel which i would normally use.its not like i never wash-i am a very clean person but for some reason i cant really answer i didnt-this freaked him out and he said he cant trust that i ever properly wash myself-or words to that afffect.
if hes with someone and they are going to be close to him he has to know that he can be free around them and he doesnt feel that way anymore.he no longer feels safe around me.
he said his sexual desire for me has decreased and it may come back but he doesnt know but i can keep in touch with him
in the last day i stayed after this happened he couldnt sleep because he said he cant get the thoughts out of his head-that my hygeine is low-and he has regularly been "close" to me-he wouldnt kiss me or even really touch me-it made me feel like a leper and it hurt so much.
he is one of those people that -well you cant change his mind-and i wish he would but i dont think he will.
On the way back-what made it worse was i had bought him a keyring and i couldnt get the other part as it was never in the shop-the first bit he had-i walked past the shop and ironically they had the 2nd part of the keyring there.i feel so bad.

sounds like you may have a hygiene problem.
Guys dont normally complain about things like this, it tends to be the ladies. The face that he mentioned it means there is a big problem.
YOu need to sort yourself out. You based in London ?

How preposterous to be dumped over a minor hygiene issue whilst claiming he dumped you for his personal safety What is the worst that could happen if you are dirty, worms would start crawling out of every orifice in your body or what? Arrant nonsense.

The dude is a snob through and through, good riddance to bad rubbish i say abeg, and when next he calls, tell him to go get help for his OCD if that is what he has convinced his porous brain he has.

Obviously i will say i dont have a hygiene problem-but i really dont.
he has even said-this is his problem not mine-well he didnt use the word problem but anyway.
i would never be with someone without being clean-i just, he says he saw what he saw and cant get it out his head.

sounds like you may have a hygiene problem.
Guys dont normally complain about things like this, it tends to be the ladies. The face that he mentioned it means there is a big problem.
YOu need to sort yourself out. You based in London ?



Also-he knows alot of people arent like him-and i do have a problem myself when someones not clean in fact i said to him a few things i do which he doesnt-but i wouldnt dump someone over it.
Its a very big issue to him.its about his personal safety.

And yes I am English-i live in London.

Maybe he is OCD and no we shouldnt condemn him for this because its a condition that many struggle with daily. My dear im sorry for the heart break.

Funny you said that because i mentioned OCD to him-yesterday-and sent him some links from the internet about it-thing is-for him even if it was-he can cope with his own ideals and expectations-i have fallen short of his expectations-despite the fact that we got on so well in EVERY way-i am now not with him.
he says he is the way he is because he was bought up that way in his home country-his Dad is the same-apparently.

Yep some people have a very high-standard of hygiene and its just the way they are they can get help for it but it doesnt go away. Do you really love him? if yes ask him if there is anything you can do to make him feel secure in your presence. Then again you will be under alot of pressure to be a clean freak which may tear up the relationship so maybe its just best that its over.

I said yesterday to him-well i text him to say i would improve the way i do things-we can keep in touch and maybe meet up and see how things go.
All he said was-just keep in touch.
This is the same man who used to send me the most lovely messages-couldnt get enough of me up until Sunday-he used to compliment me all the time.

My dear i sympathize with you maybe its best you move on then.

Its like a flower-growing absolutely fine, might need a little trim to keep it healthy-then someones come along and instead of pruning it theyve just-chopped it, it might grow back it might not.

"Hugs gingeranny"

Thank you-
what country are you from if you dont mind my asking?

Sod it to hell! He sounds very moody as well. It is normal to feel sad and depressed. You will be fine with time

gingeranny:

Thank you-
what country are you from if you dont mind my asking?

Im Nigerian

i see-as i said, I am English-the man i'm talking about is Nigerian.

he wasnt moody we got on very well although hed be quite quiet and withdrawn sometimes if he had a problem with something

gingeranny:

i see-as i said, I am English-the man i'm talking about is Nigerian.

Oh you arebritish? wow how did you find our little old forum?

I was looking for information on the Grail message as he follows this and it directed me to this forum. that was my only other thread on here-wanting to find out about that,as i am a cHristian and i'd never heard of the grail message

You can't be good and date a Nigerian man. You must be baad!

I bet she googled Nigerian folks + shit chatting