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How Would We Run An Atheist Church? - Religion - Nairaland

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How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by JackBizzle: 9:19pm On Jan 10, 2017
Point of correction- secular church and not atheist church

I am tired of the influence of religion in Nigerian politics. These churches have billions of Naira and wield a lot of power. A church can shut down traffic without suffering consequences. hmmph!


So, I want to start a secular church but i need good ideas. Be serious oo! We atheists too need that tax-free income. Let's make billions!!


1) What should we call the church?
Anointing Holy Nuclear Fire Ministries?
Humanist church of Nigeria?
Dawkins ministries of science and wonder?
Mountain of Evidence ministries?
Church of the Atom?


2) What would be our sunday programme?
Quick 20 mins sermon then family barbecue?
Debates and guest speakers on philosophy?
Marijuana parties and orgies?




Abeg, I need your ideas.


Plaetton, hahn, hopefullandlord, lepasharon, 4kings, oluwseyi000, jonbellion, hardmirror, mrmontella, deepsight, johnydon22, cloudgoddess.

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by Born2Freak(f): 9:24pm On Jan 10, 2017
hehee! Why not nah?

Daddy GO Adeboye's shade got a whole chairman of FRCN fired. Church get swagg. Confam!

We atheist sef suppose get church too wey dey get money. cheesy


If there were anything like a secular church, I imagine that there should be a quick discussion about community issues and then there should be like a get-together afterwards. Just drink and chill after.....maybe some shisha too!!! cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by hopefulLandlord: 9:25pm On Jan 10, 2017
I am a Pastafarian and I already have my church

Name: Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

God we adore: Flying Spaghetti Monster, the one true God that made the heavens and the earth with proof that's staring people in the face

5 Likes

Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by Elkay3: 9:33pm On Jan 10, 2017
If it's a "church", then it's not for atheist. There should be another name, or coin it up.
Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by Geestarry(f): 9:34pm On Jan 10, 2017
Can you please not call it a Church. The word church is already peculiar to Christianity and you know that.
Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by JackBizzle: 9:48pm On Jan 10, 2017
hopefulLandlord:
I am a Pastafarian and I already have my church

Name: Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

God we adore: Flying Spaghetti Monster, the one true God that made the heavens and the earth with proof that's staring people in the face


Sharaap.

We need a Nigerian church. Your pastafarian crap wont work here. grin grin
Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by JackBizzle: 9:49pm On Jan 10, 2017
Elkay3:
If it's a "church", then it's not for atheist. There should be another name, or coin it up.

We're open to ideas
Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by JackBizzle: 9:49pm On Jan 10, 2017
Geestarry:
Can you please not call it a Church. The word church is already peculiar to Christianity and you know that.

Temple?
Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by JackBizzle: 9:53pm On Jan 10, 2017
Born2Freak:
hehee! Why not nah?

Daddy GO Adeboye's shade got a whole chairman of FRCN fired. Church get swagg. Confam!

We atheist sef suppose get church too wey dey get money. cheesy


If there were anything like a secular church, I imagine that there should be a quick discussion about community issues and then there should be like a get-together afterwards. Just drink and chill after.....maybe some shisha too!!! cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy grin grin grin







Great idea, babe. I was actually thinking of something similar. A quick discussion of current affairs, then drink and chill. Exchange contacts and socialize.
Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by randomperson: 9:57pm On Jan 10, 2017
I volunteer for the post of church treasurer

2 Likes

Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by wirinet(m): 9:59pm On Jan 10, 2017
JackBizzle:




Great idea, babe. I was actually thinking of something similar. A quick discussion of current affairs, then drink and chill. Exchange contacts and socialize.

What about tithes and offerings? How will the activities of the church/temple be funded? What about the GO, how will he buy designer shoes and expensive cars?

2 Likes

Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by Nobody: 10:00pm On Jan 10, 2017
grin


hahn said he has an idea for something like this.....



On a sidebar, Jack, if you want quick fame, you can easily just open a blog and say :

21 yr old ATHIEST turns Christian after 29 years professing atheism (if we can have an 80 year old young lady; this should be too hard undecided) . "God slapped me"; he claims.

Then you can write a book with an apt title like. "From knowing to believing" or "That Rationality of religion".
Of course, these books can be a newer version of the same old flawed arguments put forward by apologists to defend their faith. E no concern you.
Just spice it up with anecdotes. You know how humans love anecdotes!!
Create a Youtube page and come back on NL as a firebrand christian.
Persuade Nairaland atheists to help your ministry....and if they agree; they drop their reason and claim religion saved them.

By that time, you'll be famous and well known.

Your blogs will be getting a million views and your name will be used up an dan in debates.

Drop some juicy quotes too...

"When a man stop reasoning...only then he begins to see the truth for what it is"

"I used to believe in evolution. But one day I asked myself : How is it that my hands are the right length, shape and width; to scratch my balls It was then I realized : Nature cannot give me such a perfect tools to scratch my balls from randomness. Something must have given me a perfect scrotum toucher. Something......or someone


and other quotes like that.
They'll love it!!

If you want to go a step further, you can publish more books like "The Divine slap : 21 ways to make God hit your face with success" and other "inspiriationals".

They'll love it cheesy cheesy


P.S : I hope no one will use this thread to say Atheists need churches because they still believe God. I sincerely hope not

12 Likes 9 Shares

Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by hahn(m): 10:01pm On Jan 10, 2017
JackBizzle:



This your online church be like MMM grin grin

How your take know?

We are already thinking alike grin
Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by mrmrmister: 10:02pm On Jan 10, 2017
grin cheesy cheesy
I really want to be a pastor.
The wages of gullibility are tithes and offerings. grin

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by randomperson: 10:03pm On Jan 10, 2017
SirWere:
grin


hahn said he has an idea for something like this.....



On a sidebar, Jack, if you want quick fame, you can easily just open a blog and say :

21 yr old ATHIEST turns Christian after 29 years professing atheism (if we can have an 80 year old young lady; this should be too hard undecided) . "God slapped me"; he claims.

Then you can write a book with an apt title like. "From knowing to believing" or "That Rationality of religion".
Of course, these books can be a newer version of the same old flawed arguments put forward by apologists to defend their faith. E no concern you.
Just spice it up with anecdotes. You know how humans love anecdotes!!
Create a Youtube page and come back on NL as a firebrand christian.
Persuade Nairaland atheists to help your ministry....and if they agree; they drop their reason and claim religion saved them.

By that time, you'll be famous and well known.

Your blogs will be getting a million views and your name will be used up an dan in debates.

Drop some juicy quotes too...

"When a man stop reasoning...only then he begins to see the truth for what it is"

"I used to believe in evolution. But one day I asked myself : How is it that my hands are the right length, shape and width; to scratch my balls It was then I realized : Nature cannot give me such a perfect tools to scratch my balls from randomness. Something must have given me a perfect scrotum toucher. Something......or someone


and other quotes like that.
They'll love it!!

If you want to go a step further, you can publish more books like "The Divine slap : 21 ways to make God hit your face with success" and other "inspiriationals".

They'll love it cheesy cheesy


P.S : I hope no one will use this thread to say Atheists need churches because they still believe God. I sincerely hope not
Pure gold!! cool
Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by Immorttal: 10:04pm On Jan 10, 2017
hopefulLandlord:
I am a Pastafarian and I already have my church

Name: Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

God we adore: Flying Spaghetti Monster, the one true God that made the heavens and the earth with proof that's staring people in the face
Oh, Ramen!
Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by Immorttal: 10:06pm On Jan 10, 2017
SirWere:
grin


hahn said he has an idea for something like this.....



On a sidebar, Jack, if you want quick fame, you can easily just open a blog and say :

21 yr old ATHIEST turns Christian after 29 years professing atheism (if we can have an 80 year old young lady; this should be too hard undecided) . "God slapped me"; he claims.

Then you can write a book with an apt title like. "From knowing to believing" or "That Rationality of religion".
Of course, these books can be a newer version of the same old flawed arguments put forward by apologists to defend their faith. E no concern you.
Just spice it up with anecdotes. You know how humans love anecdotes!!
Create a Youtube page and come back on NL as a firebrand christian.
Persuade Nairaland atheists to help your ministry....and if they agree; they drop their reason and claim religion saved them.

By that time, you'll be famous and well known.

Your blogs will be getting a million views and your name will be used up an dan in debates.

Drop some juicy quotes too...

"When a man stop reasoning...only then he begins to see the truth for what it is"

"I used to believe in evolution. But one day I asked myself : How is it that my hands are the right length, shape and width; to scratch my balls It was then I realized : Nature cannot give me such a perfect tools to scratch my balls from randomness. Something must have given me a perfect scrotum toucher. Something......or someone


and other quotes like that.
They'll love it!!

If you want to go a step further, you can publish more books like "The Divine slap : 21 ways to make God hit your face with success" and other "inspiriationals".

They'll love it cheesy cheesy


P.S : I hope no one will use this thread to say Atheists need churches because they still believe God. I sincerely hope not
grin
Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by hahn(m): 10:13pm On Jan 10, 2017
SirWere:
grin


hahn said he has an idea for something like this.....



On a sidebar, Jack, if you want quick fame, you can easily just open a blog and say :

21 yr old ATHIEST turns Christian after 29 years professing atheism (if we can have an 80 year old young lady; this should be too hard undecided) . "God slapped me"; he claims.

Then you can write a book with an apt title like. "From knowing to believing" or "That Rationality of religion".
Of course, these books can be a newer version of the same old flawed arguments put forward by apologists to defend their faith. E no concern you.
Just spice it up with anecdotes. You know how humans love anecdotes!!
Create a Youtube page and come back on NL as a firebrand christian.
Persuade Nairaland atheists to help your ministry....and if they agree; they drop their reason and claim religion saved them.

By that time, you'll be famous and well known.

Your blogs will be getting a million views and your name will be used up an dan in debates.

Drop some juicy quotes too...

"When a man stop reasoning...only then he begins to see the truth for what it is"

"I used to believe in evolution. But one day I asked myself : How is it that my hands are the right length, shape and width; to scratch my balls It was then I realized : Nature cannot give me such a perfect tools to scratch my balls from randomness. Something must have given me a perfect scrotum toucher. Something......or someone


and other quotes like that.
They'll love it!!

If you want to go a step further, you can publish more books like "The Divine slap : 21 ways to make God hit your face with success" and other "inspiriationals".

They'll love it cheesy cheesy


P.S : I hope no one will use this thread to say Atheists need churches because they still believe God. I sincerely hope not

4kings you need to see this

2 Likes

Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by JackBizzle: 10:54pm On Jan 10, 2017
SirWere:
grin


hahn said he has an idea for something like this.....



On a sidebar, Jack, if you want quick fame, you can easily just open a blog and say :

21 yr old ATHIEST turns Christian after 29 years professing atheism (if we can have an 80 year old young lady; this should be too hard undecided) . "God slapped me"; he claims.

Then you can write a book with an apt title like. "From knowing to believing" or "That Rationality of religion".
Of course, these books can be a newer version of the same old flawed arguments put forward by apologists to defend their faith. E no concern you.
Just spice it up with anecdotes. You know how humans love anecdotes!!
Create a Youtube page and come back on NL as a firebrand christian.
Persuade Nairaland atheists to help your ministry....and if they agree; they drop their reason and claim religion saved them.

By that time, you'll be famous and well known.

Your blogs will be getting a million views and your name will be used up an dan in debates.

Drop some juicy quotes too...

"When a man stop reasoning...only then he begins to see the truth for what it is"

"I used to believe in evolution. But one day I asked myself : How is it that my hands are the right length, shape and width; to scratch my balls It was then I realized : Nature cannot give me such a perfect tools to scratch my balls from randomness. Something must have given me a perfect scrotum toucher. Something......or someone


and other quotes like that.
They'll love it!!

If you want to go a step further, you can publish more books like "The Divine slap : 21 ways to make God hit your face with success" and other "inspiriationals".

They'll love it cheesy cheesy


P.S : I hope no one will use this thread to say Atheists need churches because they still believe God. I sincerely hope not



LWKMD!! grin grin grin grin
Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by JackBizzle: 10:57pm On Jan 10, 2017
wirinet:


What about tithes and offerings? How will the activities of the church/temple be funded? What about the GO, how will he buy designer shoes and expensive cars?


The pentecostal church doctrine 3;16-

"for what does it profit a church to do good but lose its tithe money?"





Guy, there must be offerings and church contributions of course!

We can even rope in some American and UK secular organisations to assist in funding!

1 Like

Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by hahn(m): 10:58pm On Jan 10, 2017
JackBizzle:



The pentecostal church doctrine 3;16-

"for what does it profit a church to do good but lose its tithe money?"





Guy, there must be offerings and church contributions of course!

wirinet dey learn undecided
Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by Butteredpako: 11:09pm On Jan 10, 2017
SirWere:
grin


hahn said he has an idea for something like this.....



On a sidebar, Jack, if you want quick fame, you can easily just open a blog and say :

21 yr old ATHIEST turns Christian after 29 years professing atheism (if we can have an 80 year old young lady; this should be too hard undecided) . "God slapped me"; he claims.

Then you can write a book with an apt title like. "From knowing to believing" or "That Rationality of religion".
Of course, these books can be a newer version of the same old flawed arguments put forward by apologists to defend their faith. E no concern you.
Just spice it up with anecdotes. You know how humans love anecdotes!!
Create a Youtube page and come back on NL as a firebrand christian.
Persuade Nairaland atheists to help your ministry....and if they agree; they drop their reason and claim religion saved them.

By that time, you'll be famous and well known.

Your blogs will be getting a million views and your name will be used up an dan in debates.

Drop some juicy quotes too...

"When a man stop reasoning...only then he begins to see the truth for what it is"

"I used to believe in evolution. But one day I asked myself : How is it that my hands are the right length, shape and width; to scratch my balls It was then I realized : Nature cannot give me such a perfect tools to scratch my balls from randomness. Something must have given me a perfect scrotum toucher. Something......or someone


and other quotes like that.
They'll love it!!

If you want to go a step further, you can publish more books like "The Divine slap : 21 ways to make God hit your face with success" and other "inspiriationals".

They'll love it cheesy cheesy


P.S : I hope no one will use this thread to say Atheists need churches because they still believe God. I sincerely hope not
Rofl..u people will not kill somebody.
Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by Nobody: 11:14pm On Jan 10, 2017
jsi
Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by jonbellion(m): 11:32pm On Jan 10, 2017
SirWere:
grin


hahn said he has an idea for something like this.....



On a sidebar, Jack, if you want quick fame, you can easily just open a blog and say :

21 yr old ATHIEST turns Christian after 29 years professing atheism (if we can have an 80 year old young lady; this should be too hard undecided) . "God slapped me"; he claims.

Then you can write a book with an apt title like. "From knowing to believing" or "That Rationality of religion".
Of course, these books can be a newer version of the same old flawed arguments put forward by apologists to defend their faith. E no concern you.
Just spice it up with anecdotes. You know how humans love anecdotes!!
Create a Youtube page and come back on NL as a firebrand christian.
Persuade Nairaland atheists to help your ministry....and if they agree; they drop their reason and claim religion saved them.

By that time, you'll be famous and well known.

Your blogs will be getting a million views and your name will be used up an dan in debates.

Drop some juicy quotes too...

"When a man stop reasoning...only then he begins to see the truth for what it is"

"I used to believe in evolution. But one day I asked myself : How is it that my hands are the right length, shape and width; to scratch my balls It was then I realized : Nature cannot give me such a perfect tools to scratch my balls from randomness. Something must have given me a perfect scrotum toucher. Something......or someone


and other quotes like that.
They'll love it!!

If you want to go a step further, you can publish more books like "The Divine slap : 21 ways to make God hit your face with success" and other "inspiriationals".

They'll love it cheesy cheesy


P.S : I hope no one will use this thread to say Atheists need churches because they still believe God. I sincerely hope not
lmaoorotfl
Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by taurus25(m): 11:46pm On Jan 10, 2017
SirWere:
grin


hahn said he has an idea for something like this.....



On a sidebar, Jack, if you want quick fame, you can easily just open a blog and say :

21 yr old ATHIEST turns Christian after 29 years professing atheism (if we can have an 80 year old young lady; this should be too hard undecided) . "God slapped me"; he claims.

Then you can write a book with an apt title like. "From knowing to believing" or "That Rationality of religion".
Of course, these books can be a newer version of the same old flawed arguments put forward by apologists to defend their faith. E no concern you.
Just spice it up with anecdotes. You know how humans love anecdotes!!
Create a Youtube page and come back on NL as a firebrand christian.
Persuade Nairaland atheists to help your ministry....and if they agree; they drop their reason and claim religion saved them.

By that time, you'll be famous and well known.

Your blogs will be getting a million views and your name will be used up an dan in debates.

Drop some juicy quotes too...

"When a man stop reasoning...only then he begins to see the truth for what it is"

"I used to believe in evolution. But one day I asked myself : How is it that my hands are the right length, shape and width; to scratch my balls It was then I realized : Nature cannot give me such a perfect tools to scratch my balls from randomness. Something must have given me a perfect scrotum toucher. Something......or someone


and other quotes like that.
They'll love it!!

If you want to go a step further, you can publish more books like "The Divine slap : 21 ways to make God hit your face with success" and other "inspiriationals".

They'll love it cheesy cheesy


P.S : I hope no one will use this thread to say Atheists need churches because they still believe God. I sincerely hope not
This is really good...nice one grin
Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by jkaro(m): 12:02am On Jan 11, 2017
am confused about life, and I really want someone to clarify me about it.
Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by hopefulLandlord: 12:38am On Jan 11, 2017
jkaro:
am confused about life, and I really want someone to clarify me about it.

talk away bro

I'm listening
Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by JackBizzle: 7:56am On Jan 11, 2017
hahn:


wirinet dey learn undecided


Is he a learner?
Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by Pastafarian: 9:02am On Jan 11, 2017
I ask myself how many of our so-called pastors and Imams are atheists using the position to survive?

4 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Would We Run An Atheist Church? by MrMontella(m): 10:36am On Jan 11, 2017
SirWere:
grin


hahn said he has an idea for something like this.....



On a sidebar, Jack, if you want quick fame, you can easily just open a blog and say :

21 yr old ATHIEST turns Christian after 29 years professing atheism (if we can have an 80 year old young lady; this should be too hard undecided) . "God slapped me"; he claims.

Then you can write a book with an apt title like. "From knowing to believing" or "That Rationality of religion".
Of course, these books can be a newer version of the same old flawed arguments put forward by apologists to defend their faith. E no concern you.
Just spice it up with anecdotes. You know how humans love anecdotes!!
Create a Youtube page and come back on NL as a firebrand christian.
Persuade Nairaland atheists to help your ministry....and if they agree; they drop their reason and claim religion saved them.

By that time, you'll be famous and well known.

Your blogs will be getting a million views and your name will be used up an dan in debates.

Drop some juicy quotes too...

"When a man stop reasoning...only then he begins to see the truth for what it is"

"I used to believe in evolution. But one day I asked myself : How is it that my hands are the right length, shape and width; to scratch my balls It was then I realized : Nature cannot give me such a perfect tools to scratch my balls from randomness. Something must have given me a perfect scrotum toucher. Something......or someone


and other quotes like that.
They'll love it!!

If you want to go a step further, you can publish more books like "The Divine slap : 21 ways to make God hit your face with success" and other "inspiriationals".

They'll love it cheesy cheesy


P.S : I hope no one will use this thread to say Atheists need churches because they still believe God. I sincerely hope not
lol...i enjoyed this comment...honestly grin grin

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