Hi all pls I need ur advice and got married two years ago to a military officer but we are both leaving apart cos i av a job that pays well. at first i thought i was managing well but now i don't know what to think any more am so lonely and depressed because i av being trying to get pregnant but its just not working.

i am thinking of quitting my job but am sacred of d outcome am an independent woman i av lived alone since i started higher education so thought i can cope with leaving alone my main problem is my husband job is junior officer in d army his salary is less than mine though i got to know after marriage but i was not bothered but his family are all depending on him for finances like he spends almost half of his salary on them. i got to know this because i mange his savings account so whenever his family needs money am the one that send to them from his account if i complain he tells me its his money his giving them and this is affecting our plans.
For the past 6 months he has not come to visit me i av been the one going to him, at times they will transfer him to places that i cannot go and visit him due to the danger involved infact the last visit i made was so dangerous i had to rush back after spending some days with him and i don't think he's cheating though i av my doubts sometimes but no prove.

Hes not that bothered about our not having a child yet if i bring d mata up he will be comparing us with couples that are living together for years with out a child. am so lonely and frustrated.

Ond thing about Men in Uniforms - Distance.
Well, I wouldn't advise you quit your job since his salary his far below what you earn and he has so many responsibilities like his family to cater for. By the way, if you left your job for him, what happens when he gets transferred to dangerous places? You keep following him? Trust me, you'd end up being frustrated.
Try to visit him during your ovulating period, play rough and ikeep doing this often until you get pregnant and also never forget to pray and trust in God, He alone can calm the storm in your home.

came to learn one or two things

came to learn one or two things shikina

You would be doing the wrong thing if you quite your job . Money is very important for the relationship to work out. Since he can get transfered anytime from his current bit, the best thing to do is to make your present location permanent base for the family because of your work.. Then every year make use of your monthly leave pay him a visit for child bearing. If u culd accumulate 4 days holiday inbtw at any point in time, Pay him a visit aswell. If truely your husband is in the force, you must get pregnant by force

SpicyMimi:
Ond thing about Men in Uniforms - Distance.
Well, I wouldn't advise you quit your job since his salary his far below what you earn and he has so many responsibilities like his family to cater for. By the way, if you left your job for him, what happens when he gets transferred to dangerous places? You keep following him? Trust me, you'd end up being frustrated.
Try to visit him during your ovulating period, play rough and ikeep doing this often until you get pregnant and also never forget to pray and trust in God, He alone can calm the storm in your home.

Thank u very much. time of ovulation is the issue because my job is a very demanding at times i don't av time to go and even if i want go to him some times it might not be a good time to visit him the only time am able to go is doing xtian public holidays which at time is not always my ovulation period

dopedealer:
You would be doing the wrong thing if you quite your job . Money is very important for the relationship to work out. Since he can get transfered anytime from his current bit, the best thing to do is to make your present location permanent base for the family because of your work.. Then every year make use of your monthly leave pay him a visit for child bearing. If u culd accumulate 4 days holiday inbtw at any point in time, Pay him a visit aswell. If truely your husband is in the force, you must get pregnant by force

thanks for your advice i wish i can get pregnant by force o.
i don't av a monthly leave at my place of work though at times might be able to get maximum of four days plus the weekend may be every two months b4 i was able to manage that due to the fact dat he was at a neighboring state then and whenever is his turn to show up the timing is not always right in fact there were more than two scenarios when the time he was chanced was during my period though he came but u can bet there will no conception during a woman's period. but right now he is transferred far away the last journey i embarked on was too long and stressful and it think the stress is also affecting my ability to conceive.

Women always up to something.... And the annoying part of it is that they will end up shooting themselves on the legs in the process...

I guess you work for a private org.but then why not apply for leave when ovulation is approaching...thats the way to go to me

Dont quit your job. Like someone up there said, make ur present location your family's base. Get a doctor that undastands your situation and let him work with you guys towards achieving ur goal. Timed intercourse, Ovulation tracking, IUI, IVF etc can help distance couples. When you are opportuned to have a significant leave, take it and be with him then.
Also, prepare your body to receive and his to give good quality sperms. Pls dont do things without your docs recommendation and approval. So as not to cause more harm than good. I learnt this the hard way.

My dear, this thing works by chance n prayers too. A friend of mine got her first bfp unexpectedly when she came down from abroad to visit her then fiance. A visit of less than one month/cycle resulted into a baby. Her second baby entered like 2 months after he joined her. It was unexpected too cos the first was just about a year old. So keep praying and acting. God will do it. But keep ur job. Your circumstance is unique and does not require that step.

Loisemm:
Dont quit your job. Like someone up there said, make ur present location your family's base. Get a doctor that undastands your situation and let him work with you guys towards achieving ur goal. Timed intercourse, Ovulation tracking, IUI, IVF etc can help distance couples. When you are opportuned to have a significant leave, take it and be with him then.
Also, prepare your body to receive and his to give good quality sperms. Pls dont do things without your docs recommendation and approval. So as not to cause more harm than good. I learnt this the hard way.

My dear, this thing works by chance n prayers too. A friend of mine got her first bfp unexpectedly when she came down from abroad to visit her then fiance. A visit of less than one month/cycle resulted into a baby. Her second baby entered like 2 months after he joined her. It was unexpected too cos the first was just about a year old. So keep praying and acting. God will do it. But keep ur job. Your circumstance is unique and does not require that step.

Thanks so much i will go and book an appointment with a medical doctor and see how it goes

Sweetheart calculated your time,if possible do ovulation tracking using ultrasound(tvs). Speak with a gynecologist about this. Then meet your DH as ur sure the thing is ripe. After intimacy don't get up immediately,raise legs and relax. All the best.

Thanks for all the advice i feel better i will yield to all the suggestion thanks everyone

Gloriaakin24:


thanks for your advice i wish i can get pregnant by force o.
i don't av a monthly leave at my place of work though at times might be able to get maximum of four days plus the weekend may be every two months b4 i was able to manage that due to the fact dat he was at a neighboring state then and whenever is his turn to show up the timing is not always right in fact there were more than two scenarios when the time he was chanced was during my period though he came but u can bet there will no conception during a woman's period. but right now he is transferred far away the last journey i embarked on was too long and stressful and it think the stress is also affecting my ability to conceive.

^ things are really tight now with no annual leave.
I just beleave there is nothing too much 4 God to handle.
Anoda thing we can do is for ur husband to get compassionate transfer to ur current state other wise u v to manage the 4days leave to always visit him.
Since he is working in a regimented environment , there's little you can do.

ur hubby isnt complaining so why are you? You want to resign your job when he could be posted anywhere within 9ja or even foreign mission? what would you then do?
This is an era where officers are been court marshalled for the littlest of offences so what happens if he unfortunately buys job - and you have resigned?

If you resign your job, are unable to get pregnant - hubby leaves you for someone else guess what you have to fall back on? NOTHING!!!

As it stands, you earn more than him yet your advise/input is disregarded when it comes to financial expenses and savings what makes you think that as a housewife your advise would become valuable?

My dear reason am well oooo to avoid stories that touch the anus abeg

You didn't see this before marriage? People hardly think these days. There is no solution for you madam. It's either you resign or oga resigns. If you can't make time to go every month during ovulation, for at least a few months, then sorry. Very soon one of you will impregnate someone else or be impregnated by someone else. Be warned.
Worst case scenario, he should resign and you provide capital for him to start a business. Something i doubt any real man will agree to.

I wouldn't advise you quit your job.You need the job and the money.
Your best bet is to try and travel when it's your ovulation to be with him but time is a big constraint for you.Just see how it can work.

dingbang:
Women always up to something.... And the annoying part of it is that they will end up shooting themselves on the legs in the process...

her worries are justified, bro.

thanks all i really appreciate

Gaggi:
You didn't see this before marriage? People hardly think these days. There is no solution for you madam. It's either you resign or oga resigns. If you can't make time to go every month during ovulation, for at least a few months, then sorry. Very soon one of you will impregnate someone else or be impregnated by someone else. Be warned.
Worst case scenario, he should resign and you provide capital for him to start a business. Something i doubt any real man will agree to.

This is bitter truth, the only solution to your post whether you believe it or not.Kindly note that if you people continue like this,definetly u or he or both of u will make adultery the characteristics of ur marriage which the end result must be collapse of the union and your husband may get another wife and children without ur knowledge if this continues

Am i the only on seeing the bigger picture?

Finally when you conceive, you think you can handle pregnancy alone?
and when you eventually have a child, you become a part time single mother. Your child will have an absentee father and you will definitely complain about it, infact your complains will triple.

As always, I hate to say this but madam you knew your hubby is a military man before marrying him now. They're posted to all parts of the country even on short notice. Even the high rank officers cannot afford to move their family with them.
You're not the first to military man, so bear it o, cos it won't stop.

It's my prayer for you that you meet your husband when you're ovulating and it's pathetic for you to think a child will fill the void of loneliness in your marriage.