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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves (6218 Views)
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Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by chuksville(m): 8:27pm On Feb 09, 2017 |
Please give your since matured advice, any insulting comment I remove it.. From my inbox Goodmorning beautiful people . Thank you all. Please i need a sincere comments and advice on this... My husband's friend staying with me is getting on my nerves in the sence that he doesn't help me out in any house chores like washing the cars and helping out in fetching water but two other guys staying with me does these things without being told to. there was a day i had a misunderstanding with my husband over preparing cat fish brought by someone who I don't like the way he behaves and i rejected his gift in the persons presence my husband got angry and ordered his friend to prepare the fish in her kitchen. .I am someone that accommodates people when they visit buh this one that came, what he does is to eat without saying thank you after meal,sleep without helping out in the house .there are times i will fetch water and the guy will just seat and be watching me fetch water without making any attempt to help out. two days ago i called a meeting and made him to understand that the other two guys staying with my husband are not his errand boys they are here just the way he came too and they are not his servants ,i made him understand that i won't tolerate such act in my house.if he wakes up in the morning he should help out in the house that its a way of showing appreciation for staying with us . This morning he packed his things and left without saying thank you to the woman of the house or saying at least I am leaving tnx for accommodating me for close a year. the guy is so annoying that he would use the toilet without flushing it .eat and leave the plates for me or other guys to pack it for him. pls have done anything wrong? Your sincere comments please . 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by chordrylateral(m): 8:30pm On Feb 09, 2017 |
Pride |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by thehedge(f): 8:33pm On Feb 09, 2017 |
You didn't do anything wrong, some people don't know how to make their presence of any value. They'll have to learn or live alone and congratulations! you just got rid of an ingrate before situation gets worse. 20 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by sisisioge: 8:43pm On Feb 09, 2017 |
Oh my! You are about to delete my post ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Easy girl... He's Your husband's friend! Anyways, he's gone now. House is all yours now. Enjoy. 9 Likes |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by ovaRAYted(m): 8:51pm On Feb 09, 2017 |
He's still on your nerves even after he's gone? ![]() ![]() 17 Likes |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by ajigiteri(m): 8:51pm On Feb 09, 2017 |
The best person to discuss with is your husband. Your husband is in better position to talk to him since they are friends. Different people with different characters it takes the wisdom of God to live with people who are not part of the family no matter how perfect he is you will always find fault it's normal, I am not on his side just speaking generally. Don't get too worried about it reach out to him diplomatically cos we only know of today we don't know tomorrow. He may be in a position of help to you tomorow. Peace 15 Likes |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by Nobody: 8:52pm On Feb 09, 2017 |
Lol...some people just have this feeling of entitlement, he is your husband's friend so felt you and the other boys should serve him. Two helping hands is ok, i don't see why he should be doing chores, help someone with an open arm. His attitude of not flushing the toilet was bad...he left not saying "Thank you" because of the way you treated him, i can sense that, but failed to put it on your write-up...which is bad of him too, people react differently to things. 11 Likes |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by Alexk2(m): 8:54pm On Feb 09, 2017 |
Though I detest his behavior but the way you go about it is just so wrong. This man is your husband's friend to start with and because of that, you're expected to accord commensurate respect.... It's your husband that you should face and talk to about his friend; he should've been the one to decide his case, not you. 14 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by 4reala(m): 8:55pm On Feb 09, 2017 |
is ur husband complaining? or u want him to be ur servant? u are suppose to direct ur complaints to ur husband. and let him do d talking 7 Likes |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by baby124: 8:57pm On Feb 09, 2017 |
You just dey vex because you don't want that guy in your house again. So you are picking things to use to fight him. 6 Likes |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by fbtowner(m): 9:01pm On Feb 09, 2017 |
grown up man living with his married friend I will live under the bridge instead or go back to my village op u should be glad he's finally gone. just pray He don't come back. 9 Likes |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by Richy4(m): 9:44pm On Feb 09, 2017 |
If I say what was on my mind now, You might banish me from your thread...Or even deport me to Nigeria ![]() Here is the thing.... U-don't-like- him...Especially when you feel he doesn't regard u as the Queen of England. >>>Do you Know if he was giving your husband some money for the up keep of the house and you were not aware of it? >>>Do you know the reason why he was staying in his friend's house?..Do you think he was not dying of shame staying in your house...just look at it this way, his friend was comfortable and settled and he was still finding his feet...Do you think there was any self esteem left in him especially when he knows that you do not like him? >>>when you were calling the meeting was your husband there? Don't you think what u did was supposed to be what your husband should have done? I am saying all these Dear because things do change and he might be the one to pick your husband up when it happens....which face are you gonna use to look at him should such situation arises?....His living arrangement was temporary, u should have endured or speak to your husband........I am gonna suggest that in future, try and destroy a bridge when you are 100% sure you won't be crossing over it or in need of it again.... 31 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by curiousmind11: 10:30pm On Feb 09, 2017 |
Richy4: Apt! 8 Likes |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by klexycole(m): 10:34pm On Feb 09, 2017 |
Unfortunately, some people don't think about the future. They fail to understand that no condition is permanent. ![]() All is well tho. God bless you Richy4 ![]() 7 Likes |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by klexycole(m): 10:38pm On Feb 09, 2017 |
baby124: I won't be surprised if many things she said about him were false. ![]() 8 Likes |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by TheeDetective: 11:10pm On Feb 09, 2017 |
MINT; well said ![]() Richy4: 7 Likes |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by Richy4(m): 11:36pm On Feb 09, 2017 |
TheeDetective: That's really funny..... ![]() I know she might be frustrated with the guy, but the way she did it was not good...She did not even pause to think that the guy might be dying daily in that house due to the husband's success... His friend probably the same age with him was married>>Got a house that can accommodate 5 people or more>>Got a Job... But Him, he got nothing<<<Maybe still coping with unemployment... In her mind she felt he was comfortable staying in her house watching TV all day...And the little dignity he got, she felt she should strip him of it..even if the guy did all those things she wanted, the way I have seen her tone of writing, she will look for a another degrading chore for him to do because obviously he was living in her mansion and ought to say thank you to her for every breath that he takes in that house... 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by TheeDetective: 11:59pm On Feb 09, 2017 |
At bold so true ![]() Richy4: 7 Likes |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by eyinjuege: 7:12am On Feb 10, 2017 |
chuksville: How's he getting on your nerves again? I thought you said he's packed his things and left your home? Or are you feeling guilty? Anyway, what I have to say is that madam, you're too forward. You should have left some things for your husband to say. Most husbands will warn their friends and let them know that their wives are not slaves for their friends. Its your husband's place to tell him to fetch his water to bath, or clear his plates after eating. Even if your husband wants him to contribute anything to the home, it should come from your husband. Anyway, he obviously wasn't happy with you. He will talk to his friend later, I guess. 8 Likes |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by Ournaija: 4:08am On Feb 11, 2017 |
From the tone of your write up, you are simply a proud and unaccomodating person. Your hubby's friend needed a mat to lay his head and you strip him of it. Sometimes we render help to people who can't pay us back because we don't know where we will find ourselves tommorrow. Do you know who will accommodate your kids tommorrow in a foreign land,? Abi dem go carry your mansion for head wherever they are going. Let be very careful with the powerless with us. What will it cost you to serve a beggar for the few days he will stay with you? You just missed an opportunity to sow , pray you get another one. 13 Likes |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by abdulaz: 2:39pm On Feb 11, 2017 |
Women will always be women sha. Imagine asking your husband's mate and friend to clear the table for you after eating and tell you thank ma for the food you gave him. Even if you wanted to address his indiscretion, you should have gone through your husband, you know, man to man, since he brought him in the first place. And as a married woman you should know all men have pride in them, that's what makes them men. The guy try sha, I can only imagine the things he must have overlooked, heard and ignored all the time he spent in that house. He took the only option available to him though, which is leaving the house. This should be a motivating spirit for him to work relentlessly without letting what had happened in the past to weigh him down. No one knows what tomorrow will be. So be nice to anyone close to you who is trying to find his feet. Treat people good because you think it's good to be good and not because you want them to pay you back in the future or be indebted to you. No condition is permanent and time always changes everything. Peace. 10 Likes |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by Richy4(m): 3:45pm On Feb 11, 2017 |
abdulaz: You spoke well my brother...The part I was so concern about was expecting the husband's friend to wash their car.....where in the world does that happen...haba!! ![]() 6 Likes |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by Ngokafor(f): 4:03pm On Feb 11, 2017 |
thehedge: ..,Spot on!!..anyone who does not have the common sense to make their presence felt in a positive way when they are being accommodated and not constituting a nuisance should leave..simple. ..In Nigeria for you to be termed 'nice'when accommodating an adult whom you have decided to help you have to feed them,clean the room were they stay,pick up after the person,clear their plates after they are done eating,(like the story here),wash their clothes and iron and perhaps give them money on a regular basis....While they sit around and mope. ..failure to do all these and you are termed 'a wicked person who does not know tomorrow' ![]() 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by Sleekbaby(f): 4:07pm On Feb 11, 2017 |
Madam I'm sorry to say this but with all due respect you are the one that has problem. From your write-up you are still fuming even when the guy has left, imagine rejecting gift someone brought to your hubby in the person's presence. You should have complained to your hubby what you don't like about the guy, he should be the one to talk to him man to man bcoz he is his friend. Put yourself in your hubby's shoe, what if it was your friend that came and he treated her the way you just did. The only thing I see wrong in this write-up is the guy not flushing toilet, anyways, learn from your mistake and know that no one knows tomorrow, I will advice you apologise to your hubby and the guy bcoz you've ended up ruining the relationship they built. Lastly, I hope you are not crushing on the guy bcoz women can be stupid atimes, in other to get back at him bcoz he is not giving you attention you decided to make the house living hell for him. I know that I might have offended you but please forgive me, peace. 9 Likes |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by Nobody: 4:12pm On Feb 11, 2017 |
Let's be fair. Some people dont know how to be good house guests. Till they learn proper house guest etiquette, they will keep having issues anywhere they go to patch. That man should have started packing his plates after the first or second meal na. He expected the hostess to cook for him and be happy packing the plates plus washing it for a year? In her own home? No na. No sane woman will be happy doing that for long. If the other men or a housemaid was doing it for him, it will be acceptable sef. Again, he ought to have been flushing the toilet after use na. She didn't even ask that he wash it. Just flush after urself. The guest did not try jor. And her husband may not have wanted to caution his friend as per men code and their 'fear fear' nature they refer to as wisdom ![]() So in frustration and ignorance, the wife called a meeting ![]() Both the guest and the wife were wrong in some behaviours. She should not have expected him to wash their car or join her in certain chores. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by Nobody: 8:02am On Feb 12, 2017 |
Madam you did the right thing.Three male strangers in your house?Are you guys running a charity organisation? How old is he not to flush toilet after using it?That's disgusting to say the least. Let him go!!!He is a man,he should find his bearing. 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by Nobody: 8:06am On Feb 12, 2017 |
Richy4: Someone that can't contribute his little when he has got nothing will not do shiite when he is finally made.People like that hardly succeed, he is very ungrateful and inconsiderate. 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by firstking01(m): 10:33am On Feb 12, 2017 |
Let him fvck off to hell with his over bloated ego ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by Richy4(m): 11:16am On Feb 12, 2017 |
LynnPetra: You don't really have to jump into conclusion based on the little information you got....if u have ever lived with someone that was not your parent, if he or she doesn't like you, do whatever you can, he or she will never be pleased or consider it to be any thing.. You do not expect an adult to go to the toilet without flushing it...yes some of them do not double check to see if it has all gone..but someone that does not like u will embellish it.... I do not know if you are a man or a woman...But Do you expect your mate..your best friend to wash your husband's car or your wife's car? any woman that harbor such thought will go to any extent to degrade anyone that comes his or her way.....And I disagree with you when you said someone that cannot stoop as low as washing his mate's care hardly become successful....for him to live that house the next day after being insulted shows that he still got some dignity in him.....Self respect is an uncommon gift that that cannot be bought with money....An idiot will stay and have all kind of insult throw at him ....and yes if he try hard enough he can make it. 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by Nobody: 2:36pm On Feb 12, 2017 |
chuksville:Woman of the house your pride is so annoying. he is gone right? happy now ![]() 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by oglalasioux(m): 2:38pm On Feb 12, 2017 |
Good riddance to bad rubbish. If he's man enough let him get his own place. Your husband isn't happy about his behaviour but merely wanted to be the good friend. Put your house in order and move on. If he likes let him be the president of Nigeria tomorrow. It's in his pocket. |
Re: Help!!! My Husband's Friend Is Getting On My Nerves by Nobody: 8:03pm On Feb 12, 2017 |
Women! |
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