One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love

When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the
supreme sacrificeand gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the
way home from work.

Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told
him that I would be late because I had to walk home.

On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked
bean was more than I could stand.

With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill
effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner
and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of
baked beans.

All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and
exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.

I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the
telephone rang.

He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and
went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the
pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was
out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg
and let one go.

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a
skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.

I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was
worse than cooked cabbage.

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I
went on like this for another few minutes.

The pleasure was indescribable.

When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom,
I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on
my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and
pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my
husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.

He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I
assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner
guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

O gosh what a beansy surprise

Very funny!She fainted because the shame is too much for her to bear

Good laugh! Thanks.