Sunnymatey:
The two women can lay claim to him legally but as a christian, the woman whose dairy was first paid is the wife.

firstking01:
Well, he who's in christ is a new creature, old things are passed away and all things have become new....so, if he married the two wives legally he must live with them legally, showing equal love and care to the both of them with NO partiality cos in christiandom once you are married there's absolutely NO room for divorce...let me just add, if you are a worker in the church you'd put away the last wife, i.e, the one you married last by giving her a certificate of divorce according to the bible...that's all i can say for now.

Sunnymatey:
The two women can lay claim to him legally but as a christian, the woman whose dairy was first paid is the wife.

Nutase:
The Bible never made a direct reference to polygamy except in the case of a bishop/overseer/elder/supervisor/officials in 1 Tim 3:2 depending on the version.
Some people use Genesis 2:24 to justify there monogamous theory which is not completely wrong and is also not completely right. Almost all the fathers of our faith were polygamist and yet God still found them righteous and even called one a man after his own heart.
In Matthew 23:23 Jesus scolded the pharisees for neglecting the weightier matters of the law which includes Judgement, mercy and faith.
In Matt 9:13 KJV Jesus referring to Hosea 6:6 said to the pharisees "But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance."
In Matt 12:7 KJV Jesus speaking said But if ye had known what this meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice, ye would not have condemned the guiltless.
In Matt 23:15 NIV Jesus speaking said “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much a child of hell as you are."
Having laid the foundation above I want to state that I do not subscribe to polygamy neither do I encourage it. But we need to show compassion like Jesus did.
Some Christians use restitution to justify the man sending away his other wives but do not consider the effect of the absence of a husband and father on the other wives and children. Restitution cannot be applied in every situation, for example how does a woman who had an abortion do restitution?
The God we serve looks at the motive behind the action. The action was carried out in ignorance or based on the beliefs of the religion the fellow was practicing at that point in time and not from an informed position.

Let me conclude by saying that God deals with us according to His plan and purpose for our lives and in some particular issues there is no one size fits all. He can ask Mr A to do a thing which he won't permit Mr B to do.
This is one of such issues and should be done based on hearing personally from God and not because of what one man says. In the scriptures God did not permit David to build a temple for him but he permitted Solomon to do that for him.

Shalom.

Sirnuel:


Stop quoting the bible out of context bro...
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will this your advice still stand if the second wive was to be your sister.
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moreover the Bible never said a man cannot marry more than one wife.
Just like Solomon
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God knows if I have enough money, i will marry more than two ooo... I go be father of many nation bro.

henryskywalker2003:


Dude, u just contradicted urself. No room for divorce but u still give cert of divorce if u are a worker. Na so.

Nutase:
.......Almost all the fathers of our faith were polygamist.......

tishbite41:
the first woman u married is ur wife. d odas re concubines or mistresses. male and female created He them. one man one wife is d original will of God.

somegirl1:


This isn't true.

Modenzy:
Happy sunday to all nairalanders.

There is a serious question that i always want to ask but today iam realeasing it out from the substructure of my mind.

It is Biblically and doctrinically mandatory for christ-likes in 97% churches to marry one (1) wife. Good.
Assuming a man is having two wives and he gave his life to christ as his personal LORD and SAVIOUR, should the man still stick and maintain the two wives

Please, matured answers, bible quotes are welcomed. Phylosophical reasonings are welcome too.

tishbite41:
the first woman u married is ur wife. d odas re concubines or mistresses. male and female created He them. one man one wife is d original will of God.

lampard01:
Meaningless post.
I wonder how some posts make it to front page

enshy:

My Brother In Christ!
We Christians believe the scriptures only and obey.
In the beginning, he made them one man, one wife.
Now you are born again, your first wife is your wife if you have performed her marital rites, if not the whole context changes.
The second wife is adultery, if she has children for you, you must take responsibility for all children, for this is the Will of God! You dont just send her out, get her accommodation, speak to her and her family.
If you are sincere with God, he will direct your paths!

Btruth:
Thank God for this topic. And God bless the OP. I woke up this afternoon from sleep with worries over the same thing happening in one of my favourite uncle. And lo and behold, found the topic right at the top of the front page. Let me quickly share his stories.

Years back, he was married to Mummy Remi, and they had 4 kids. 2 girls and 2 boys. Whatever happens along the line, my uncle meet another lady and she equally married her. She had 5 kids for him. 2 boys and 3 girls. My uncle got converted to be a born again Christian. But what I personal observed then was that the first wife was the one that brought her pastor to the house to preach to my uncle, and eventually, he got converted and join the church with the 2nd wife and all his kids. Very dedicated a man and very humble. But when the church doctrines set in later that my uncle cannot become an elder of a full member of the church because he has 2 wives, and he asked the committee what he needed to do. He was asked to divorce the 2nd wife. This is where politics in the church set in. And the church was near divided because, some of the elders says they should leave the man and his family alone, while some says he should be suspended.

Meanwhile, the 1st wife sees the opportunity as an advantages and gaining the supports of the woman association and other groups in the church as against the 2nd wife. Eventually, the pressure was so much for my uncle that he decided to leave the church and move completely out of lagos.

All kids grown up now, and my uncle is in his 70s. Till now, the effect of what happens then has really created enmity between all the kids and the man is regretting ever going into that church.

So, should church, pastors, committee or any group in the church be a judge in one house problem? Who doesn't have his/her personal problem. And who make people a judge in other people's issue. Let people be careful of how they interface in other people case.

Church name: 4square.

Happy Sunday.

engineerboat:


In the beginning God made Adam and eve. If God had wanted man to marry many wives he would have done that himself.

Matthew 19: 4

4. And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5. And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

6. Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

7. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

8. He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

solbil:


i am from a poygamous home and my parents are all practicing christians. This means i am a better authority on this matter than you can ever be.

Some of you don't know that you are speaking about a people's experience when you open your mouth widely to say all kinds of rubbish! HOW DEAR YOU CALL A PEOPLE'S MARRIAGE ADULTURY!!! You don't even realise the implication of the words you speak, and how much self esteem you can erode among a people who are even better christians than you!

If God hated polygamy too much; if he does not recognise the other wives as you claim, why then in the geneology of Jesus, the path Jesus came through, was not always from the first wife? I want you to answer that question, you hateful bigot who thinks he has the right to move about saying all kinds of rubbish insulting people, and erroding their self esteem?

And as for your "in the begining, God made them male and female..." heresy, why don't you go on ahead and tell me where the other people came from, those who Cain spoke of when he said "who ever sees me will kill me" and God told him he will place a mark on him (cain) so that anyone who sees him and hurts him, will recieve several times punishment. I cannot remember that passage very vividly anymore, its been a long time. But i am sure there is something like that in genesis 3 or there about.

So if truely God made only 2 people at the begining, where then did the other people came from?

It is the likes of you Jesus spoke of when he condemned the pharases and said, they pay more attention to their traditions (practices/laws) than they do the substance of faith.

Tell me what profound divine revelation the institution of polygamy violates? Tell me how it makes you a worse christian of you marry more than one? If you want to continue to pipe on the law which you guys made up for yourselves that polygamy is against divine arrangement, how then are you different from the muslim and the jew who thinks just by not eating pork, he is justified and fit for heaven?

Sjoy:
what a pity, the church tried to follow th bible, which is right. The church are to bring the two wivies and d children to undrstand what d man agreed to do(restitution), which should bring unity, love among the children and d wivies but its so unfotunate that it turned out d other way.

enshy:

Thank you much.
I see you are well learned in scriptures. Didnt you also read about the killings of the disobedient? Have you copied that also? Do you still stone people for fornication and adultery? Solomon married 700, will you copy this also?
My brother dont be deceived, Polygamy is unscriptural! God detests it! Your experience doesnt disannul Gods words. However, the fruits of polygamy are not involved in the sin! Anyone in the sin should repent now for God made just one Eve for Adam and commanded 'a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife' not wives, as in one.. Even morally, I doubt if its proper...One man One woman is fair enough! Dont be offended, the truth is sometimes better but must still be told.

Sjoy:
what a pity, the church tried to follow th bible, which is right. The church are to bring the two wivies and d children to undrstand what d man agreed to do(restitution), which should bring unity, love among the children and d wivies but its so unfotunate that it turned out d other way.

Sjoy:
what a pity, the church tried to follow th bible, which is right. The church are to bring the two wivies and d children to undrstand what d man agreed to do(restitution), which should bring unity, love among the children and d wivies but its so unfotunate that it turned out d other way.

solbil:


you are an idiott, and no apology for that!

If God made ONLY Adam and Eve at the begining, who then are those people Cain and God spoke about when God was pronouncing punish ment on him for killing his brother and he was complain of the severity of the punishment? He said: "anyone who sees me will kill me..." and God said: "anyone who does that, will recieve several times your punishment". So who were the "anyone" the both of them spoke of? Later in that chapter, they said "and cain knew his wife". Are you going to tell me he married his own sister? Why don't you stop your bulshit and stop spreading hate and dividing people, people who are better christians than you!

You say God detests it. Why don't you just open the bible and tell where it was spelt out that way? If God detests it, why then did Jesus not come through all the first wives? If God detests it like you claim, why then don't you have the confidence to classify it as a sin and can take someone to hell? And what spiritual revelation does polygamy violate? Your God has not classified polygamy a sin, stop playing assistant God and helping him to make laws when you are just a mere mortal!

And before i forget, yes, the bible said "...cleave to his wife" and not "wives". But that's because when a man gets married to more than one, they are not getting into a trinity or a 'fournity'. Each wife is his wife, whole and entire. He is their husbands each, whole and entire. So yes, that passage applies to polygamy too.