BEFORE YOU SAY 'YES'

Written by OYEKUNKE LIZZY OYEBOLA

“Liz, would you marry me?” Dave said as he dropped on his knees.

I looked up from the bowl of ice cream I was eating.
What date is it?

It was not April, most definitely, so it couldn't be an April fool prank!

My smile vanished…

What was wrong with Dave?
Marriage!
Me?

Dave and I had been friends for over three years and I really did love him. He was such a wonderful, loving, caring and summarily, a cool guy.

There was absolutely nothing he didn’t possess-in the positive and the only thing I could say that I didn’t like about him was that he was too spiritual... Hehehe

Despite how much I loved and cherished this guy, I never ever thought that Dave could think of getting married to me.

Yes, I had always been a cool girl, I could cook, I could laugh, I could be a good friend, I could do a few good things but no! I didn’t see myself as someone so serious spiritually.

I just didn’t worth Dave!

What about these sisters in our school fellowship…Sister Benita, Sister Kemmy, Sister Marvie, Sis Lydia , Sister Kenny…the list of the ‘Spiritual’ sisters I had envisaged for my best friend was limitless.

“Liz, would you please love me for who I am and marry me? Would you look beyond my weaknesses and say yes?” Dave asked on, I looked deeply into his eyes…were those tears or mist?

I had always been a very frank, blunt and independent gal. Never had I said what I didn’t mean.

If I hate your wedding cloth, I would tell you point blank.
If you told me I looked good just for me to tell you look good too, forget it darling, I would say what you really looked like- a pig, a fowl, a vulture or a peacock!

Hehehe

All these things just left me when Dave preached sanctification to me but my dear, I could be still be very truthful, to a fault!

“Should I say yes to Dave? Do I really want to marry him? Do I really want him to be the head over me?”

I didn’t want to hurt him but neither did I want to hurt myself.

Absent-mindedly, I pulled him off his knees, closed the ring box and put it in his pocket. He looked at me, so closely, I saw fear in his eyes but I was not ready to reassure him.

We moved to a gossip chair. We sat down and I faced him. There was silence- exactly what I needed at the time.

If I say yes to Dave, I am agreeing to the fact that:
He would be my head- could I bear to tell him ‘sir’ or at least reckon him as my head?

He would have access to my body-inside out. –was I ready for this? Was it meant to be him that would climb me? Could I always give myself to him willing without any endurance?

He would be my children’s father. – would I really want my children to call him daddy?

His family members would become mine- would I really take his family members as mine? Would I enjoy them and not endure them?

We would do virtually everything together…our finances, our hobbies, everything!

I would be saying yes to his breath, to his odor, to the way he would scatter shoes all around, to his excessive neatness, to his snores, to his talkativeness, to his boredom, to his stinginess, to his excessive giving, to his love or intolerance for children, to his long long hours of prayers!, to his dislike for maggi, crayfish, sea foods, spaghetti, snacks, to his love for pounded yam, Fufu, Tuwo and all these real local foods that I didn't like?…owww, my disgust for locust beans!, to my new discoveries of who he really is as our marriage grew…

I would be saying yes to all of him! Could I really say yes?

Then.....
I felt peace. I felt satisfaction. Dave had always told me that if I feel that way, it could be the Holy Spirit. Is it You sir?

I surveyed him from head to toes.

Would I ever be proud to say ‘Hey, this is my husband?’

Then....

His love came pouring upon me like I was under the shower, hindering me from doing my final judgment.

The Holy Spirit whispered into my ears “It’s good you took your time to check him out but whatever I have called clean, no one calls it unclean. Whenever I say yes, no one says no. Come on stop wasting my boy’s time!”
All was still!

I looked at the most patient man in the world before me and accepted him! Wholeheartedly, all his strength, weaknesses, his past, his present, his future, his inabilities, his lack, his desires, his family, himself.

“Dave, not that I am the perfect girl or that you are the perfect man, but putting all on the scale and measuring correctly with the Holy Spirit’s gauge, I say yes!”

His face shone brightly and he drew me close to himself, hugged me so tightly with his eyes shut in appreciation, I smiled happily and allowed my first real embrace to come from him- my husband!

I smelt his sweat, the result of his pursuit for my ‘yes’
I said yes! My body said yes! My spirit said yes!
Welcome my husband!

[b]Source: https://www.de-raconteur.com/2016/01/85/

Full conviction and Agreement with the Holy spirit before saying YES... Thanks for this timely message

Do you need writers in your website?

"smelt his sweat" ewwwww

Nice one i pray and hope to marry the right person

Fabulous!

this article would do a lotta good to nowadays ladies..... marriage is beyond iphone/rangerover proposals


#positivevibes

let me book a space here,dear BT please on ur weathering day call me oooo

All na wash. Ladies are desperately searching for husbands in this country.

Nice write up op let her keep it up

My dear, a lady will only think about all these if d guy no get money and age still dey her side.

And a beg make una leave Holy Spirit from relationship matter. HE has better things to do than make your relationship work. The future of any relationship dey the hands of those involved period.

Ugom, will you marry me?

Summary please.

Will you marry me?

A phrase every lady dream of....

Wow, this is beautiful.... Wonderful piece from a beautiful heart....

This just summarizes what it actually means to say "I am ready to get married" . A lot of people don't really think about all this before they say yes..All they think at that moment is Aso ebi, bridal train and wedding party.

It can also apply to those that want to go into a relationship too.


Nice one OP

That's it. I really need that peaceful feeling before I can say yes. Help me Lord.

OP, that's a beautiful and encouraging story. It reminds one to weigh a lot of things especially the negative ones about the one proposing, about the intending union. But that calmness and peace in heart gives the final answer.

Nice one op

Nice piece

Ok... Next episode pls

Hmmm... Hard to believe.

Does she want to say it hasn't crossed her mind.

These days that if a nice guy with a cool profile pix says hi to a girl on social media for the first time, the girl is already thinking of marriage and planning it all in her head. Just simple hi o.

Now you say you be been dating for...how long again? And he pops the question and you just sat there soliloquising and didn't jump on the ring?

Sounds off to me...

Angelinastto:
Fabulous!

Beautiful! Nice set of teeth. Lovely dimples.

Following, Op, abeg come continue.

I'm so much anticipating for this phrase "will you marry me?" . The bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh, where art thou. Don't keep me waiting o .

Ok

JeffreyJamez:
This just summarizes what it actually means to say "I am ready to get married" . A lot of people don't really think about all this before they say yes..All they think at that moment is Aso ebi, bridal train and wedding party.

It can also apply to those that want to go into a relationship too.


Nice one OP

i think the emboldened is not entirely true as the essence of relationship itself is to be able to know your partner...but as per the marriage part u are right

Jobia:
"smelt his sweat" ewwwww

See u.... When u meet that one person, even his sweat smels like perfume near u.

chibestjerry:
Nice one i pray and hope to marry the right person

you will bro... God will always lead us, and give us the freedom of choice, just dnt forget that one of the signs is peace in your heart through the Holyspirit... Get close to God and He will lead you

crazygod:

See u.... When u meet that one person, even his sweat smels like perfume near u.

lmao perfume ko

Adesina12,Hadampson,creeza,haramedee99,ladysuperb,rachealfst,samyfreshsmooth come and join me

TrumpDonald2:
My dear, a lady will only think about all these if d guy no get money and age still dey her side.

And a beg make una leave Holy Spirit from relationship matter. HE has better things to do than make your relationship work. The future of any relationship dey the hands of those involved period.

That is not true. The Holy Spirit is given to Christians as a GUIDE, amongst other things.

awwww! really a great story. but I i have some concerns. I know the Holy Spirit deal with us in different ways o, but me will still take time out to listen more before saying yes, a serious yes. the lady in the story is not so spiritual, more of a practical person, even those that are really spiritual knows they shouldn't make such decision in a hurry. but had it been she had been considering the dude in the past, praying silently in a corner, woulda been OK to say yes.

so pls take time o.

Let me get this straight - they were not dating? I hate to have to be a critic but if they were only friends as implied in the beginning, should they be getting married? I know it's been said we should marry our friends but shouldn't it be a friend you are in a relationship with?
From the girl's thoughts, she doesn't even love dude and that has to be the most important aspect of a marriage, no? So she's simply saying yes because of a random stray thought that entered her head and which she takes to be the Holy Spirit speaking to her. Ok.