BoiledHead:
My sister is about to put an end to her marriage in a very dangerous way. What happened?

She caught her husband sex chatting on whatsapp. She didn't even catch him physically sexing but chatting and she wants to put an end. Their son would be celebrating his 5 years birthday soon and is this the gift they wish to give the young chap?

I have tried my best to talk to her but I have no idea on how to go about this afterall, I'm single. She was like "what do you know about marriage?". The husband on the other hand hasn't taken my calls and he angrily left the house since 3 days.

Big bros and sis In the house, what advice can I give to my sister?

Tell your sister to forgive him for he does not know what he's doing.

NemzySeries:
regardless of wat might av led to ur inlaw falling so cheap for infidelity i bliv hiz yet to understand dat marriage means TAKING A DECISION & STAYING WITH IT TO D END REGARDLESS OF D OUTCUM BKOS NO MARRIAGE IS PERFECT

Hope that's also applicable when the woman decides to also sex chat with her ex, or a new toaster who loves married women.

As I read all the comments here, I cannot help but wonder if most people in here actually live in the real world.
From my workplace to my compound to my street to even the church, I see more than half of the men with some kind of extramarital affair yet somehow the couples try to keep their homes together.
Take it or leave it,there is a greater percentage of men that cheat than those that do not.
The sister is very free to leave if she cannot stay but she should know that the next man, if there is any, has an equal chance of cheating.

kingreign:


Tell your sister, to find a good man is hard, really hard, really really hard.
If he handles his responsibilities well, the issue of sexchatting or flirting (which can be checked anyways) is a small thing. So she saw a tiny bit of wood in the cereals she's gonna throw away the whole grains?
She had better woke up to her responsibilities, get a damn internet enabled phone and sexchat him too, then fulfil all his sexual fantacies when they meet in private.

if I am in your sister's shoes, my own sex chatting no go get part 2. I go dey even snap t.oto send am on top am. No dulling, person wey wan die don see who wan kill am. Kilode

She should divorce the goat called husband.

Ashawo men everywhere. They should have an association.

uso84:
I can't believe this is coming from a man...ur wife is very blessed u know...God bless u n strengthen u to remain faithful

Lol.
Let's not be fooled. Just like body language let's you know what one actually feels, despite what the mouth says, we can actually profile a poster from the content of the post.
Strahovski1 is not male, is not married, and clearly has no idea what happiness in marriage entails.
Sorry to burst the bubble.
Anyone who is married wouldn't talk about happiness in marriage, using those sentences.

@op.she is nt ready for marriage. Young girls of these days shud know DAT divorce shud b d last option. There r a lot of tins DT make a man go outside (am nt justifying d man action tough). N is usually temporary depending on d woman at home.our society is full of divorcee women because of impatience n understandin.how many divorce women v gone ahead to v a successful marriage. Patient n understanding matters a lot.n above all two of shud b prayerful n genuine in Godworship

Tell your Sister to love her husband there are same thing your sister is doing when both come together in bed please I advise you to meet with the husband one on one try to know what happen you will find out your sister she the fort

I thought they said marriage is for better, for worse She better look before she leaps...

Strahovski1:
Tell her to proceed on the divorce. Infact, help her pay the bills of the law suit

Modified
----

To those saying it's not enough. I bet 80% of you are single and you have no idea indeed what contents are of marriage. Yes.

Marriage IS NOT a task! Neither is it some kind of Job or Project. It's not a do or die affair. It's a union where 2 happy people come together as 1. So your sister shouldn't be in such union as her happiness has been slain. Why live with a man knowing well, that he is sleeping with another woman? The thought of it alone can lead to depression. Let's be realistic.

Irrespective of how they sort it out and settle the dispute, the scar would always be there. When she see him making a call, she would be suspicious. If she see him greet a woman she would be suspicious. She would always have the thought that he is sleeping with other women though she may not express this. But she would never forget. And this is not good at all. So what is the point? Is it by force? Why live in depression especially when the woman he is chatting with looks better or sexier than she is.

So let her be.

P.s I'm a married man and yet, I don't encourage anyone to stay in a marriage where infidelity looms.

Are u sure you're married for real? Guy ur advice though.....

Read through many of the comments and indeed Nigerians would always be Nigerians.
Life is too short for drama.
And for the record, i'm a liberalist.
Babe missed a fine gentle man

Another point to note is that the guy left home for 3 days, who does that

If the OP said the entire story then the husband doesn't seem remorseful.

If your wife catches you sex chatting and threatens divorce you should be remorseful and apologetic not get angry and move out.

Some men eh

kingreign:

Have you heard about proper marriage counselling, and trying to please a partner so as to win back his heart/interest?

Nice one

Your sister is over reacting

Strahovski1:
Tell her to proceed on the divorce. Infact, help her pay the bills of the law suit

Modified
----

To those saying it's not enough. I bet 80% of you are single and you have no idea indeed what contents are of marriage. Yes.

Marriage IS NOT a task! Neither is it some kind of Job or Project. It's not a do or die affair. It's a union where 2 happy people come together as 1. So your sister shouldn't be in such union as her happiness has been slain. Why live with a man knowing well, that he is sleeping with another woman? The thought of it alone can lead to depression. Let's be realistic.

Irrespective of how they sort it out and settle the dispute, the scar would always be there. When she see him making a call, she would be suspicious. If she see him greet a woman she would be suspicious. She would always have the thought that he is sleeping with other women though she may not express this. But she would never forget. And this is not good at all. So what is the point? Is it by force? Why live in depression especially when the woman he is chatting with looks better or sexier than she is.

So let her be.

P.s I'm a married man and yet, I don't encourage anyone to stay in a marriage where infidelity looms.

You nailed it, seriously am going through this trauma and my husband will always remind me that it is not a do or die affair. So depressed, he doesnt even go out with his wedding ring when am not around.

me am not married yet. like your sister said to you. what do i know about marriage?

hopeforcharles:

If actually he has done the sex, and besides do u know if he protects himself, you all calling for divorce divorce divorce watch it lest u brake a family, if she divorce the guy will you guys marry her?.

so protecting himself would make the act less grievious abi?? GOD PLEASE GIVE ME A MAN THAT LOVES AND FEARS YOU FOR A HUSBAND IN JESUS' NAME. AMEN

Michellla:
Who knows if he has been banging other women and not just sexchat?

Pls what do u mean by the word 'banging' because the banging I know does not fit in here.

rose54321:
Another point to note is that the guy left home for 3 days, who does that

If the OP said the entire story then the husband doesn't seem remorseful.

If your wife catches you sex chatting and threatens divorce you should be remorseful and apologetic not get angry and move out.

Some men eh

My dear not err one has the stomach for tantrums abeg. Maybe the guy doesn't even have a thing with any of them, and perhaps the wife is Tonto Dike esque who would smash up all the expensives just cos she is angry. Dude prolly left her so she can cool down.

Your sister knows nothing about marriage, she is the one kidding.. Tell her a plain truth ,she would loose her man to those holes, she would later regret her action, many men will climb her in deceit. if she finally get one out of thousand that will approach her, 50% are going to be historians, and more pedophile than the present .Tell to sit her husband down in a gentle way, to know where she got it wrong and make a quick amendment if at all she is wrong or right.. With a loud voice she should not destroyed her home on such excuses... Husband no dey na joystick dey..

see wentin toton dike story has cause naija ladies

If she go ahead to divorce her husband, she should bear in mind a few challenges.
1.Will she remarry someday?
2. As a divorcee and single mother, she has a slim chance of meeting a single guy without baggages
3. Would a Nigerian man take care of a kid that's not his?
4. Is she planning to have a blended family incase she meets a guy with kids
5. Is she aware of what it takes a guy to date a single mother?
6. Is she planning to stay single for the rest of her life and no seex?or just messing with different guys

There are lot to loose as a divorced woman with kids in the society compared to men.
Men always win even if they have baby mamas, a single girl with no kid would still marry them.

rose54321:
Another point to note is that the guy left home for 3 days, who does that

If the OP said the entire story then the husband doesn't seem remorseful.

If your wife catches you sex chatting and threatens divorce you should be remorseful and apologetic not get angry and move out.

Some men eh

That's a huge sign that the man is fully ready for divorce.
The woman has not been doing something's well.
She can either break or make her home.

Jacksparr0w127:
A married man sexchatting while his wife is right with him is terrible. Too bad tbh. If he's that h0rny, why didn't he get his wife down zi oza room?

Maybe his sex life with your sister is not really going well tho. Your sister should not divorce him, she should instead settle the dispute and try work on their sex life. Apparently, something is wrong with their sex life

This is not about sex life not going well, younguys cant seem to be just into one woman, am really down cuz am going tru dxame.

Did our parents not had this kind of issues before why did they not leave? If they picked on everything our fathers did probably your dad and mum won't be celebrating anniversaries. I feel she should get the families to be aware and they should talk some sense to him and also she should go down on her knees and pray for him? tbh the rate of divorce is too much......

Tomjazzy2:
As tereble as this may sound, but the earlier ladies started accepting the fact that men generally speaking, are polygamous in nature, the better for their sanity.



If you eventually find a man who is faithful- there aren't much around nowadays- you'd consider your self lucky, but if you don't, you just try as much as possible to device a means of handling him

People should stop popularising "Men are polygamous by nature" statement.Yes but there is something call self-control.

It's like saying humans have a natural tendency for insatisfaction, yes but you need to find contentment unless you will become a thief.

Strahovski1:
Tell her to proceed on the divorce. Infact, help her pay the bills of the law suit

Modified
----

To those saying it's not enough. I bet 80% of you are single and you have no idea indeed what contents are of marriage. Yes.

Marriage IS NOT a task! Neither is it some kind of Job or Project. It's not a do or die affair. It's a union where 2 happy people come together as 1. So your sister shouldn't be in such union as her happiness has been slain. Why live with a man knowing well, that he is sleeping with another woman? The thought of it alone can lead to depression. Let's be realistic.

Irrespective of how they sort it out and settle the dispute, the scar would always be there. When she see him making a call, she would be suspicious. If she see him greet a woman she would be suspicious. She would always have the thought that he is sleeping with other women though she may not express this. But she would never forget. And this is not good at all. So what is the point? Is it by force? Why live in depression especially when the woman he is chatting with looks better or sexier than she is.

So let her be.

P.s I'm a married man and yet, I don't encourage anyone to stay in a marriage where infidelity looms.

You are just childish!

shine12:


People should stop popularising "Men are polygamous by nature" statement.Yes but there is something call self-control.

It's like saying humans have a natural tendency for insatisfaction, yes but you need to find contentment unless you will become a thief.

But there is no gain saying that man by nature is insatiable

She's too hasty



Instead I will seat him down and ask what's lacking in our marriage? And does he want sex chat? I can be his side chick too.. And we play it as game in our marriage.. I

Op your sister should just calm down.. Except she doesn't truly love her husband and just married him for let people know am married. If not? She's damned too hasty..

And the husband sef! Why stay outside for 3days! that's arrant nonsense!

gud

Freewoman:
If this is true, you have nothing to do here, reason been that both knows the best, sometimes you allow things to happen so that things should be fix, no marriage without challenges even more serious than this, let them fix it themselves, yes, themselves, .....please let the woman know too well that if she backs off another packs in,men are not ready for commitment now............. Many girls are waiting on her to go so that they will enter, plus, including me or her unmarried best friends oooooooooooh

u mature wella



can two play?

BlinkyBling:
So he was sex chatting and she wants to lEave?

C'mom it's. Not a big deal. Maatured women know their hubby flirting does not change much
"Men will always be men"

If she leaves anoda woman will replace. Her and live goes on

Who will marry a married woman wit a child?
Bottom line: she should get over it already n make it work

IBB married a woman with a child, ty danjuma married a woman with a child, Stella damasus is remarried and has children, mercy aigbe is remarried with a child, Foluke daramola is remarried with a child, tuface baby mama with 2 children is married.
So many examples of popular people, and more of everyday people.
One man's meat is another man's poison.
If her husband doesn't find her desirable anymore, doesn't mean someone else won't. That has been the reality since time immemorial. There are thousands of people on NL who grew up with step fathers, so its not a recent development. Some of our grandparents and parents also grew up with stepfathers.
There's a saying that "if you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes the truth" that's the way i feel about your question" who would marry a married woman with a child ?".
Now regarding the OPs sister, the decision entirely lies with her. I understand we're all human, and can fall into temptation- both men and women. But we should also be decent enough to accept responsibility for our indiscretions. If the marriage breaks down, its strictly the husband's fault in this case and not the sister. He should accept responsibility, apologise and just hope the wife accepts his plea and he should change for the better. Not move out of the house, without been asked to. That means he's not even remorseful about it, and has no intentions of stopping. He's not interested in any
reconciliation.