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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Education / How To Survive In The Ghetto (365 Views)
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How To Survive In The Ghetto by cardiak(m): 7:51pm On Mar 12, 2017 |
Don't talk to anyone, even if they seem nice. Odds are they are insane, a drug addict, and a thief. Don't get a puppy. Your puppy will most likely get fleas, worms, parvo, and any other deadly virus/ infestation that is contagious. Get an indoor only pet instead. Thoroughly bleach your new ghetto apartment and repeat. Have a large bottle of boric acid on hand at all times to kill cockroaches. If you do not have screens on your windows do not open them. There are flying cockroaches, and they will get in your house. Mice might be cute but should not be lived with. Buy live traps and always have them set up. Walk several blocks and set them free. Never answer your door to, "friendly neighbors," wanting to borrow something or they will come back daily to borrow more and more and more. If you do answer the door, say no and keep saying no. Always carry pepper spray. Keep it in your hand or pocket to access quickly. Practice using it. Never walk in close proximity to someone when you can't see their hands, especially if one hand is behind their back. Pay attention. They most likely have a knife. Guns are expensive so this is less likely. Don't walk too close to bushes or corners of buildings. Your pepper spray will not protect you from a surprise attack from behind. Don't wear anything that looks expensive, especially not jewellery. Never take the same route twice and make sure you are not being followed. If, rather when, you see someone lying on the sidewalk, in a field, parking lot, etc, do not go near them. They are most likely not injured or dead. They are drunk and sleeping it off. Think, tuberculosis. Don't make eye contact. Never show fear. If you are approached or threatened, be prepared. This is not a time or place to be polite. Most bullies will back down when you threaten them back. If asked for something or threatened, reply with a firm, **** you and keep walking. At this point, I hope you know self-defense and are ready to throw a throat punch if needed. Hit with the palm of your hand rather than your fist. Wash your hands several times a day. If a car stops and asks you if you want a ride, they are not just being friendly. They are looking for a hooker. Again, this is the time when you say, **** you and keep walking. Never go out after dark. Make sure you have everything you need before dark. Buy a fan to use when you sleep to block out the sirens/helicopters. Otherwise, you will be up all night. If you break any of these rules, do not count on the police to help you or even show up when you call them. |
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