THE HYMEN IS MISUNDERSTOOD.
.
The hymen is a piece of fragile flesh or membrane that covers part of the vaginal passage of a female.
There are many superstitious beliefs about hymens, in some cultures, after the night of consummation, the groom will gather the blood of the bride on a piece of cloth and show it to his family and relatives as a proof that he met her as a virgin.
This is a pathetic act which degrades and dishonours the bride and also exposes her privacy, her blood is meant to be disposed off, its not a kind of trophy to be displayed or celebrated with the whole world.
It falls under the prohibited exposure of intimate secrets.
The prophet sallalahu alayhi wassalam said,
Indeed, among the people who will be given severe punishments on the day of qiyamah is a man who approaches his wife intimately and exposes her secrets (mutafakun alayh)
.
The believe that every virgin woman MUST bleed on the night of consummation has no islamic or medical back-up. Its a mere assumption of the ordinary people which men have taken so serious as if its the 6th pillar of islam.
The truth about hymen are as follows:
1)Some women have thick hymens while some are thin.
2)Some have large hymens while some have a small hymen that covers only a small portion of her vagina which may not easily be broken.
3)Hymens wear away on its own as a girl grows into a woman.
4)Hymens can wear off when a girl involves in rigorous sports like cycling, horse riding, racing events, high jumps, e.t.c
5)It can also wear away via illness or operation.
6)NOT ALL WOMEN HAVE A HYMEN.
(Source: british medican journal)
.
So the categories of virgins likely to bleed are:
1) Virgins with thich hymens that hardly wear away
2)Virgins with large hymens that covers a large portion of the v-tract
3)Virgins who marry early, because a 16yrs old bride is likely to bleed than a 25yrs old bride, because hymens wear away with time.
.
However, the major cause of bleeding in the night of consummation, may NOT be because the hymen has been broken, but because the suitor may be too rough or eager in the act, so she incures sores and injuries, so when the blood flows, they both think its the hymen. This is also the same reason why women who are raped bleed, because the rapist is usually rough and hasty.
.
The truth is, breaking the hymen in most cases does not cause bleeding, if not, why is it that the girls who lose their hymens via sport or illness never bleed?
.
So there is almost no yardstick to determine if a woman is a virgin just as there is no yardstick to know if a man is a virgin. There are cases where a lady may fornicate several times yet her hymen will still be intact, because she either has a small hymen or an extremely thick one that can't be easily broken.
So people should stop attaching unnecessary importance to bleeding on the night of marriage.
This is usually the origin of many marital problems among 21st century couples, once the woman doesn't bleed, the man accuese her of lying and fornication, he loses all respect for her and forces her to tell him how she lost it.
She may then be forced to forge a story or expose a past sin which she has repented from.
Your husband has NO RIGHT to ask you for any sinful past you had.
The prophet sallalahu alayhi wassalam said, avoid the filth which Allah has prohibited, but whoever has involved in it, should conceal it with the concealement of Allah (as saheehah 663)
.
Imam malik narrated that:
A suitor wanted to marry a woman but the woman's brother said:
"She has committed zina in the past". So the suitor left.
When the issue got to Umar, he summoned the woman's brother and hit him with a stick and said,
"Was there any need for you to expose her by mentioning her past sin?" (Al muwatta 28/ 1148)
.
Dear suitor, if your wife told you she is a virgin, believe it.
Did you marry her
because of her deen and ahlaq or because of her blood?
How many are marriages that got broken after a few days simply because the bride didn't bleed?
Her blood na blood of jesus? There is more to a woman than mere blood, concentrate on her piety, you have no business with her blood. The companions had no special attachment to the bleeding of their wives, infact they used to marry widows and divorcees without caring about blood. So who is your salaf on this? Lol
You have your own sinful past and dirty secrets too which you are hiding, so why force her to expose her own?
It is sufficient for you that she has repented before you married her.
.
A virgin is not a woman whose hymen is intact, but a woman who has never had any form of copulation before.
So enjoy your honeystar and your new marriage with your bride, and do not ruin your marriage with mere suspicions and fights, *do not create a problem where there is no problem.*
Copied

following.....

Well said OP.

For those virgin finders, hymen finders, bleeding finders, there are new methods non-virgin girls use like drug and cream to recreate the hymen(artificial hymen). Don't be deceived.