By Farouk  Martins Aresa


Here comes a  grandma advice  about  how to be a good wife. Be a good cook in the kitchen,  the better  mother  in the house and the best  LovePeddler  in bed.  This advice was soundly   rejected as we know, except one.  She  will hire a cook, get a babysitter and be  the best  LovePeddler  in bed for her husband. It was an impossible task for today’s   super mom. She has to juggle career and home. Many successful men  have  put  career before  family.

Unfortunately only two out of the three advices last forever.  A woman can only be the best LovePeddler in bed to her husband for so long, not indefinitely. The caring  as a  mother  gets  the respect and the loyalty of the children while a good cook keeps a family happy  at home.  The frequency of hot sexual relations become fewer as they reach a hundred years mark, if they ever live that long. But sex does not  have  to be traditional, other  form of sex,  even  touching  and caressing if  adequate for both, can  last forever.

Moreover,   women  financial contribution  at home  can  be the difference between a face to face rooming house and a flat  for the family. In cases where  the man  has  lost his job, the family has to  depend on wife’s income  until prospect improves. So the amount of contribution   by the wife cannot be compared to that in grandma days.  A family must adjust  to  modern and daily situations.

We all  appreciate a very intelligent woman  for a wife and daughter these days  and it takes education and training to achieve the amount of sophistication demanded  in our society. Your wife may be called upon to address some relatives, a  conference, or some community.  An intelligent woman  is fun to be with and may  advise you on some pertinent matters in business or social circles as a  confidant.

Most of the  super careers require  long hours,  some time away from home  and stopping by Mr. Biggs to get some food on the way back home,  because even  madam gets  tired.  Some men are good,  they can  cook and take care  of home  while madam is away but  none  of them do it well, often enough. When they do, they count  on it like  someone owes  them the whole world, waiting for big jara as payback. To  ease the burden, two career families need help.

In order to  avoid the problem  involved, many  wealthy  men  may decide on a woman  to care  for children,  another to cook his meals and one to present to the world as first  lady. Unlike sperm donors who are vagrants, these men  take responsibility seriously but may switch the roles of these women  if her career demands it. In  fact some of the women  who usurped the other’s  role are usually taught  well in  advance before  getting  into it.

If we also   know that the best  way to a man’s heart  is through  his belly, there  should  be  no surprise that the man  falls for the lady who cooks  for him whether she  is  the maid or just a friend. Even  without sex,  there  is some appreciation there   for the aroma that comes with the food. That is why some young women  made up  their minds that they will never  hire a female maid for anything  in the house.

When men  are   asked to be honest in blind surveys and asked what their greatest attractions to females were,  they have  consistently pointed  to physical  attributes rather   than  the mental acquisition of women.  Men prefer the shape of women’s  face,   boobs and curves around the hips. These qualities  may be related to men’s   genetic disposition to procreate with women  that can  breed and feed  their baby   for the preservation of life.

The fact  remains that today’s man  is confused about  his role as the head of the family.  There has  to be a captain in the ship unless we want to create chaos. Co-captains lag. Men react  as human to women  who they have  sex with, feed  them well and take   care  of the children.  Since these roles are no longer played  by the same  person, the confusion is even  greater like that of a blind mouse learning  its  way through  a new maze. It is not an excuse for men  to be unfaithful while the  woman  is trying to help them out.

We have  so  many  African women  who were pioneers in their days  and were still able to bring up promising  children in a devoted family. Since  the fifties, they were professional role models for all; and   mothers in their own rights: accomplishments that were better  than  that of men.   We had educators and later political leaders as Hajiya Gambo Sawaba, Mrs  Magaret Ekpo, Mrs. Olufunmilayo  Ransome Kuti and ‘Lady Doc’ Dr. Bimbola  Awoliyi. We still have  Mrs. Oyibo Ekwulo  Odinamadu, Professor Bolande Awe and others. How did they do it: extended family support? That is why our marriage last longer in Africa.

Many super moms  took exceptions to the former Prime Minister of Britain who made it her  duty to prepare breakfast for her husband regardless of the official cooks  at  home.  They even cringed when Hilary Clinton decided to follow her husband to  Arkansas South  of USA, after her graduation as a lawyer with prospect. We also   witnessed a highly respectable corporate lawyer who mentored an intern on the  job once,  and now resigned herself  to the traditional role of women,  as Mrs.  Obama in the White House.

It is important to note what each of these women  had in common. Both Mrs. Thatcher and Mrs. Hilary Clinton devoted themselves to the career of their husbands first before launching their own careers while Mrs. Obama had a corporate career before devoting herself to her husband’s endeavor. Each of them made a choice on when to support their husband careers. Many successful career women just want the opportunity and time for career and time to devote to the family. The reason some have children later.

It seems to boil down to where  we started from that it is very difficult for a super dad   and a super mom to hold down a family together without neglecting each other   for their careers. Who should devote him or herself  to the other  depends on  individual family situation  instead of the vogue  in time. This has led to  break-ups in many  families blaming one another for eventualities.

http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/articles/farouk-martins/it-is-human-to-put-career-before-husband.html

Great and inspiring.
Thank you

I dont understand the thread title

Me too.

This is one of the best articles on career and family. Thanks for posting it.
As for those who can not understand the tittle, did you read the article?

Mmmmm.

The title's a bit missleading - is it a statement, or question?

What side is this thread supporting?

10 Ways To Go From Girlfriend To Wife…….
Be a Woman All Day, Everywhere ….Have respect, pride and dignity for yourself.
Be Independent

Stay On Your Tippy Toes… Don’t get comfortable and lazy on your man

Turn His House Into a Home

Be a Godly Woman

Watch His Momma, Do What She Do

Challenge Him

Be His Biggest Fan… He need your support, your encouragement

Nurture Him The art of nurturing a man has been lost. Talk sweet to your man and whisper sweet nothings in his ear. Hug him, hold him, squeeze him too. Being a Black man is hard but with the nurturing of a good Black woman, it’s that much easier.

Be the Freakiest Person He Knows