You should have decided on where you wanted to live before settling down.As it stands now,you just have to stay back there except you want friction in your marriage.
I understand how home sickness can be.It will be hard to fight off.Your best bet in this case is to come,stay for a few months and go back.

thorpido:
You should have decided on where you wanted to live before settling down.As it stands now,you just have to stay back there except you want friction in your marriage.
I understand how home sickness can be.It will be hard to fight off.Your best bet in this case is to come,stay for a few months and go back.

Such union would never last.

MrBrownJay1:


Such union would never last.

It's a trial.If it doesn't seem to be working,then she drops it.

thorpido:
It's a trial.If it doesn't seem to be working,then she drops it.

Unless they BOTH go to Africa, how is it gonna help to try it alone?

MrBrownJay1:


Unless they BOTH go to Africa, how is it gonna help to try it alone?

She's in a quagmire then.Her body is in America but her heart is in Africa.

KanwuliaExtra

thorpido:
She's in a quagmire then.Her body is in America but her heart is in Africa.

Unless she follows her heart, she will always be miserable... Whether as a gf, wife or mother.

She MUST follow her heart.

Nice to knw that u love ur country. The best option is to come and go from time to time b4 u make ur final decision.

MrBrownJay1:
There are countless of successful and happier Nigerian returnee, its just so sad that as soon as someone mention going back home, Nigerians will deter you from doing so. Quite sad!
If your dream is to move abroad then so be it,but don't try to discourage people from doing exactly what you are doing (aka try to get a better life for yourself)

If I'd tell you that here is hell and you best stay in Nigeria, would you believe me and drop your dreams? No, so why try to kill a person's dream?

Just for the fact that Nigeria is home, its in Africa and populated by your kind, is a good enough reason to go back home. To each their own!

1000 likes

Titi03:
When I was a child, my parents took me and left Nigeria to start a brand new life in the States. As an only child it was such a painful and lonely experience for me to leave all my extended family and friends behind.

Years later, after graduating from the University, I planned to relocate for NYSC but my boyfriend (now husband) proposed and my plans took a back sit with all wedding preparations. Mind you, my husband is also Nigerian. Anyway, we got married and things have been great.. we both have great careers and doing very well financially.

The problem is my husband wants to remain here. He refuses to return back as he suffered in Nigeria before coming to the States.  He tells me Nigeria is not what I think it is and he doesn't see any prospects for his career in Nigeria. But I can't seem to shake off the strong desire to return back home. I have longed for this since I was brought here by my parents. I feel trapped in the States against my wish - first by my parents and now my husband. I refused to integrate into the system because I always thought I wouldn't be here forever. Aside from my husband I live a lonely life.

Should I relocate without my husband? I have strong ties with family back home. Please any advise or comment will be appreciated.

These are just nostalgic feelings..I know how you feel...seriously but please, stay where you are and visit occasionally if you want to relieve that pressure. But to move here is a bad move, since you are doing well over there. Trust me and heed to the warnings.

Nigeria is a lovely country if you have the right attitude to life. Avoid unnecessary show offfs to avoid attracting criminals to yourself

There is no place like home.
Yes, it is true Nigeria is bad but no other place can replace your home country. The fact that my village doesn't have stable electricity, companies, good roads, etc. won't stop me from going there whenever I so desire..

It is not enough to condemn Nigeria because of bad leadership, OP is interested in something deeper (emotional), and unfortunately, a lot of posters didn't see that. Money, wealth, good food, etc., are not the only factors that drive our attitude and actions...but I'm not surprised, the average Nigerian is driven by, first, money, before we start talking about family. That's why someone will kidnap his own relative or neighbor for ransom.

Meanwhile, the average poster here also hails from a bad and terrible village with many witches and wizards. If you've never cursed your people back in the village, then spare her and allow her make her decision.

Life is too short to live a miserable life. However, @OP, you need to make your first visit as short as possible. Reason being that you need some time to acclimatize and weigh your options. The relatives you knew 20 years ago are not the same people you used to know... I may be wrong though... thanks to globalization (WhatsApp, Facebook, etc.)

Lastly, you're not the first to relocate from a foreign country...only in the entertainment industry in Nigeria, I can count more than 5 celebrities today who only became celebrities because they made same decision some years ago.

so I'm certain you'd cope pretty good. Come visiting, make yourself comfortable and make a mutual and final decision with hubby.

i knw exactly how this feels, was taken abroad by my mum a while ago, would dream everyday of nigeria, seems my spirit never left. Madam uve been there for too long and ur a married woman , abeg no try am.

I suppose this was one of the things that should have been discussed with your husband before you got married given how important it is to you. Anyway given that, it appears your husband won't budge on this matter given what he went through in Nigeria and the success he enjoys now. You may have to chose between your marriage and returning home to Nigeria. As most people have said, it's better to give it a trial first and see how it goes. Also if I may ask, how often do you visit Nigeria? How familiar are you with the environment and career prospects for your field? What's really in it for you if you return to Nigeria besides just being physically close to your family and friends? Will it really be worth moving just for that? Do you know how your family and friends in Nigeria really hold you in their hearts? I'm saying this because it's so easy for people to feign friendship on social media, whatsapp etc. But when you are physically there with them, you may find yourself struggling to even generate a conversation or even find things in common to do. As a new returnee from abroad, people will flock around you for the first few weeks (or months if lucky) and after that, they may hardly even have time for you except for the ones who genuinely care and want to be part of your life. You need to really think about all these before you make your decision.