1. Don't always try defending yourself.

“Oftentimes when we’re defensive, we’re reacting to a wound we have received previously in life. It’s not uncommon for things we are defensive about as adults to relate to dynamics from family of origin. The paradox of intimate adult relationships is that we tend to choose partners who will evoke some of those very same frustrations and pains. It’s the work of an individual to understand where the need to become defensive originates from and address those underlying hurts and needs. It might not actually be your partner who is such a threat. Tuning into your own internal vulnerabilities is the first step to addressing, and preventing, the need for defensiveness.” ― Liz Higgins, a marriage and family therapist in Dallas, Texas

2. Try not to increase the sound of your voice.

“When you feel defensive, you have an instinctual urge to raise your voice. This comes from thousands of years of evolution. When you raise your voice it makes the other person feel more fearful and puts you in a dominant position. But you don’t want to make your partner feel ill at ease so instead of raising your voice, try to deliberately lower it. This will make you less defensive and make your partner less...... READ MORE: http://kingsleyiwu..com/2017/04/7-things-that-can-lead-to-divorce-in.html

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