alexiej:


Loooooolllllll.... Trust me, I know how you feel. I have these roommates that are soooo different from me. They have one kind of lifestyle like that that's very terrible, and they feel it's the best. I used to feel like a fish out of water, like very out of place, until I realized that I wasn't here to live their own lives - I've got my own life to live.

So same advice to you yeah? Live your life! Forget what people say or how they react, or whether they gossip. It's petty people that always gossip about others. Don't condescend because u want to be cool with them. It's not worth it.

Do your work so well that they would come to u for help, advise, etc. And be good to everyone, with sincere goodness.

nice

gustalnov:
I know the problem might be with me. And I also know it could be because they are intimidated by someone younger, cos they are all older than I am. But I work with a set of colleagues at any one time, and I absolutely don't like to work with any of them. I see the way they want some young people to behave towards them: supplicant and cowed. I'm not like that, and I think it gives room for them to consider me proud.

It could also be because they are all Nigerians and they gossip so damn much. I'm Nigerian myself. However, I've not been raised that way. The gossip is one thing I don't understand though. Long hours of gossip.

Is there a better way I can work with them?

Damn, I really hate working with all of them. And if I can hate working with all 8 persons, shouldn't the problem be with me?

U get ogbonge problem no b small

gustalnov:
I know the problem might be with me. And I also know it could be because they are intimidated by someone younger, cos they are all older than I am. But I work with a set of colleagues at any one time, and I absolutely don't like to work with any of them. rs of gossip me?

with your write up there it's show you are a spoilt,unreasonable and proud moffo,yes they 're u senior colleagues even if your positions is superior to them,manage them be humble and see the turn around.

no one cares if u re brought up in Jupiter

gustalnov:


Thanks. I don't participate in the gossip. I actually hate it. The consequence? They go on to gossip about me too. And I've learned about some of the things they say. The problem is, it's all lies and, even if some are true, completely unfair cos they ignore my positive qualities.

I'm good at my job. I know that. In fact, I know I'm better than most of them. I try to focus on my own thing. But somehow, I feel like if they get a chance to pull me down, they won't hesitate to do that. The curse of the outlier?

You have to "learn" how to gossip.

And "learn" from them by gossiping with them. That's the only way you can blend in and beat them to their game.

They are not happy, and are not even happy with themselves...but you're the common enemy. To break that bond so they can see who they are themselves, just blend in.

When you blend in, you break the bond, some come to you and others feel threatened and the group breaks into pieces.

People will always talk, everyone gossips, some are just toxic.. ..

[s]

bayulll011:



with your write up there it's show you are a spoilt,unreasonable and proud moffo,yes they 're u senior colleagues even if your positions is superior to them,manage them be humble and see the turn around.

no one cares if u re brought up in Jupiter

[/s]

I see who's the spoilt, unreasonable and proud mofo...

You could be right but I will advice you are humble (not stupid) and upright. However, be friendly and come down to their level without compromising the above.

alexiej:


Loooooolllllll.... Trust me, I know how you feel. I have these roommates that are soooo different from me. They have one kind of lifestyle like that that's very terrible, and they feel it's the best. I used to feel like a fish out of water, like very out of place, until I realized that I wasn't here to live their own lives - I've got my own life to live.

So same advice to you yeah? Live your life! Forget what people say or how they react, or whether they gossip. It's petty people that always gossip about others. Don't condescend because u want to be cool with them. It's not worth it.

Do your work so well that they would come to u for help, advise, etc. And be good to everyone, with sincere goodness.

Good and wise talk

Why are you now bothered
What's the point you are trying to make?
You are a lone player and it's working for you, why not continue that way

Dude, I like you already. Its so cool that you are quite objective in your thought line and observation. Kudos.

Yes, the issue might be you. You have blatantly refused to integrate with the system hence you're being alienated. Try to study your environment, pick the culture that is considered very important there and embrace it. Respect. Elders want to be respected, biko give it to them.

I had a fancy who lived all his life abroad. Dude came back and was practically lost. In fact, our first fight was because I called him oyinbo boy. He flared up cos he thought I was discriminating...a reflection of what's been going on around him. He's all right now...he settled and embraced the part of culture considered important. He learnt to respect his elders and mind the rest of his business

Greet them with a little curtsey, have a five minute rapport where you discuss their penguins, politics, football and whatever...then make your escape and face your business. Finish.

Makz:


I think that's not the issue here

Thats d issue . U are NOT a team player. U cant be an island in a work environment.
No one is saying u should be gisting and laffing with dem 24/7, but d ability to interact with them once in a while for the purpose of work is what makes u a team player.

Perhaps ur seeeing them as not fit to be in ur type of social circle by regarding them as old thats y u want to be a lone ranger.

Op since u dnt have d power to employ ur own "type of colleagues " u just gat to manage them

Let me be honest here. If you don't like working with all 8 of them, then you have a problem with human relations/communication. You dnt need to love them to work with them but you need to develop a relationship with them (team bonding is very vital). You ought to erase that feeling of being d younger one or being looked as d younger one. Always create an impact in decision-making. If your opinion is not accepted in a decision, request for a valid reason. Make yourself indispensable. Humble yourself a bit so that you can study their strengths and weaknesses. Believe me, no matter how efficient you are, you can't work alone in an organisation. Team playing is vital and it can take you to a higher level.

alexiej:


Loooooolllllll.... Trust me, I know how you feel. I have these roommates that are soooo different from me. They have one kind of lifestyle like that that's very terrible, and they feel it's the best. I used to feel like a fish out of water, like very out of place, until I realized that I wasn't here to live their own lives - I've got my own life to live..

that's the major reason I got myself a place to live the next session after my 3rd yr, my roommates wer just impossible. maybe you should try getting urself a cheap accommodation next session. I totally relate to that feeling of being a fish out of water.

Dont need to fucking team bond with a bunch of gossips. Ignore them n do your job. You dont even have to tell them good morning every fucking day bt still try to be nice with them if they ask for your help and try your best to be self sufficient in all ways at work. The highest level they can go is to plan your exit from your unit or even the company, well, who fucking cares, let them die there.

Join their fucking gossips and ull be caught in d middle, dont fucking mind them then they'll gossip more about u and get tired of it.

Just dey observe and watch them turn on each other because even when they pretend to really love each other and make u feel like a `Tboss` ur office is just another BB9ja.

Open your company.

Op let me put it to you point blank. You are proud, insecure and not respectful. U see Yourself as Mr. Knowitall and you don't see any good in others. It is not possible that 8 people will all be bad not worthy of your respect.

If you have access to the bible please read the following scriptures; Romans 12:10; Proverbs 26:12; Proverbs 27:2. Please see my points as coming from a friend that believe in you.

They gossip with themselves. .that's just eight of them, but look at you gossiping with over a million people on nairaland and you said you hate gossips....Congratulations

gustalnov:
I know the problem might be with me. And I also know it could be because they are intimidated by someone younger, cos they are all older than I am. But I work with a set of colleagues at any one time, and I absolutely don't like to work with any of them. I see the way they want some young people to behave towards them: supplicant and cowed. I'm not like that, and I think it gives room for them to consider me proud.

It could also be because they are all Nigerians and they gossip so damn much. I'm Nigerian myself. However, I've not been raised that way. The gossip is one thing I don't understand though. Long hours of gossip.

Is there a better way I can work with them?

Damn, I really hate working with all of them. And if I can hate working with all 8 persons, shouldn't the problem be with me?

I totally understand where the OP is coming from...

In this part of the world people have a problem according respect to a superior officer who is younger, what they forget is that in a company age should not be a factor.

Your superior is your superior irrespective of his age

My advice to you is to make sure you do your job well so it's obvious to everyone that you're adding value...try not to fratenise too much with them otherwise they would start taking you fro granted

joinnow:
Open your company.

Even if he opens his own company , there is one thing he lacks, Human resource/communication relationship . A boss who wants his company to succeed must be able to relate diplomatically and politely with all kinds of people from all works of life . And be firm and cut to the chase , when the opportunity arises .
Cause without such? The company will fold up gradually but surely .
So op this is a learning ground for u .Learn to adapt with different kinds of colleagues from different backgrounds in your office .
As someone said here , y'all are simply after the pay check. And to get that paycheck ? Even promotion ? Do your job, be polite , friendly and loosen up that uptight personality . You don't have to gossip if u don't want to. Simple compliment here and there , will soften them up and they wil surprise u with a smile .
So cheer up and see your job as learning process to higher grounds.

Inbetween Am a very easy going lady at my office building ..Everyone basically calls me the Queen ..lol. Even sometimes we could disagree to agree but that's just it

So best of luck

gustalnov:
I know the problem might be with me. And I also know it could be because they are intimidated by someone younger, cos they are all older than I am. But I work with a set of colleagues at any one time, and I absolutely don't like to work with any of them. I see the way they want some young people to behave towards them: supplicant and cowed. I'm not like that, and I think it gives room for them to consider me proud.

It could also be because they are all Nigerians and they gossip so damn much. I'm Nigerian myself. However, I've not been raised that way. The gossip is one thing I don't understand though. Long hours of gossip.

Is there a better way I can work with them?

Damn, I really hate working with all of them. And if I can hate working with all 8 persons, shouldn't the problem be with me?

Baba, I'm a Nigerian too, and I wasn't raised that way. I need a job, and I don't mind working in your company. We won't be gossiping.

I was almost in your shoe, when I joined my new organization sometimes late lastyr, I was introduced round, and shown my seat, the next thing is what is my JD, I was employed for field activities as an engineer, the company likes Corpers and IT like bread and beans, so when I came in some staffs felt intimidated that ur mates r here serving, and I'm always careful working with a woman as a boss, dia is this lady in her 35, she sees corpers as PA, and even some stuff avoid her coz she's damn too lousy. they gave a handbook about the organization that I should red and ask her if I don't understand anything, I just joyfully went to her that I have a question, she sized me from head to toe as if I come hin syd kan mess, she said go and meet kemi, omo naxo i ho My sit ho sidon jejely, as a street boy I decoded where she was driving at, she's trying to cow me..but people were observing us if i'l be loose to her, but since den the only thing I owe her is Greetings, since I'm not working with her, even if dey r discussing things grouply, and she's involved, I don't contribute..the best way to deal with some gals is to neglect them, if it's a guy now, I can walk up to him as nigga, but gals I play along if we have a reasons to work I work fine with her and greet you, I make myself unpredictable for such person, she was astonished weeks later seeing me discussing freely with top managers, corpers and other staffs coz I mixed freely, generally I dont isolate myself..but the neglect dey pepper her, she wqn cow me at first she kan miscalculate me wey be street I just be like "Meló lara e"....the advice i'l give you, greet everybody freely and flow with most important people ure working with.

..@op its obvious you no nothing about team work and synergy in an Organisation..You are clearly setting yourself up for an epic fall if you do not wake up from your delusional sense of self-worth..

...Working in an Organisation is not just about proficiency in your job description,but your ability to work well with your colleagues. There is no room for being 'yourself' and all that crap,or else tender your resignation and leave...Eight out of nine workers cannot be all bad while a lone ranger like you is good..

....I do not love all my colleagues either but i try as much as i can to get along with them,working in synergy with them for the betterment of my Organisation while i am still here...na here i still dey get my major cash in form of salary(which is usually paid without delay)to cushion this APC-induced recession.

...Use your tongue to count your teeth.

gustalnov:
I know the problem might be with me. And I also know it could be because they are intimidated by someone younger, cos they are all older than I am. But I work with a set of colleagues at any one time, and I absolutely don't like to work with any of them. I see the way they want some young people to behave towards them: supplicant and cowed. I'm not like that, and I think it gives room for them to consider me proud.

It could also be because they are all Nigerians and they gossip so damn much. I'm Nigerian myself. However, I've not been raised that way. The gossip is one thing I don't understand though. Long hours of gossip.

Is there a better way I can work with them?

Damn, I really hate working with all of them. And if I can hate working with all 8 persons, shouldn't the problem be with me?

believe me, the other guys also hate working with each other. They are all just tolerating each other and that's what yu should do.

gustalnov:
I know the problem might be with me. And I also know it could be because they are intimidated by someone younger, cos they are all older than I am. But I work with a set of colleagues at any one time, and I absolutely don't like to work with any of them. I see the way they want some young people to behave towards them: supplicant and cowed. I'm not like that, and I think it gives room for them to consider me proud.

It could also be because they are all Nigerians and they gossip so damn much. I'm Nigerian myself. However, I've not been raised that way. The gossip is one thing I don't understand though. Long hours of gossip.

Is there a better way I can work with them?

Damn, I really hate working with all of them. And if I can hate working with all 8 persons, shouldn't the problem be with me?

I became a restaurant manager with one of Nigeria's largest restaurant chains at the age of 21 and it was frankly hell for me to assert and prove my authority. For one, colleagues who are all way older than I was saw me as their child and a few tried to act shitty towards me.

I did not let any of that happen. I was respectful, but I also demanded respect. There is no point pretending to like what you do not like because at the end of the day, it will become a burden that will drag you down.

I don't necessarily think the problem is with you on account of rampant ageism that I know goes on in this society. Please be civil but not playful with them. Just remember that you are not their child and so all attempts to treat you like one must be sharply rebuffed. Demand your respect.

gustalnov:
I know the problem might be with me. And I also know it could be because they are intimidated by someone younger, cos they are all older than I am. But I work with a set of colleagues at any one time, and I absolutely don't like to work with any of them. I see the way they want some young people to behave towards them: supplicant and cowed. I'm not like that, and I think it gives room for them to consider me proud.

It could also be because they are all Nigerians and they gossip so damn much. I'm Nigerian myself. However, I've not been raised that way. The gossip is one thing I don't understand though. Long hours of gossip.

Is there a better way I can work with them?

Damn, I really hate working with all of them. And if I can hate working with all 8 persons, shouldn't the problem be with me?

You need to train your mind on pretending to like them. That way, you will start enjoying your work and depression won't set in. I was once in that situation, i have a couple of colleagues I hate working with because all they do is to gossip me to senior managers like women. Go to work, and do your work free mindedly and go home and rest.

My dear ,it always with me,it like a on a nightnare to me

My dear ,it always with me,it like a nightnare to me

Hey I read this post thrice and I have decided to comment listen i ain't telling you not to live your life trust me I have been there.. I once did teaching in a school where my fellow work mate where either grand mama or grand papa whilst I was just 23 see i would want to go do a little bit of research... The way you relate with your Colleagues will either make or break you somehow somewhere it doesn't matter how strong you may be right now but been able to cultivate a good working relationship with your fellow colleagues is a very thing that may help you somewhere.

Gossip is a part of every day life.. It's normal for them to think you are proud or something but then again have you tried showing or doing something that will make them think twice.... You don't have to bend to the way they want you to but you can adapt wisely to the system you find yourself.. Think of them as roommates.. At first it's all 'who are this people' 'i don't like how they behave' 'they are not my type' but as time goes on you will definitely be able to keep up with them.
Time and time again we often feel the opinions of people don't matter but trust me they do, i mean who knows how many people who would want to make friends or get close to you get stuck in their rumours and simply decide to stay away ... I would hate for you to be a loner and feel they are all the same... They just haven't seen the best yet you have got to let go of your ego abit and cultivate a good, standard working relationship with your colleagues...not all are bad as you think... Just relax okay

Go create ur own office.

oluseyiforjesus:
To me u are Proud, by d way d only place you will work without meeting pple is the Grave even bloggers work with pple let alone......... Guy to Humble yourself doesn't mean u are folish.

gustalnov:


Thanks. I don't participate in the gossip. I actually hate it. The consequence? They go on to gossip about me too. And I've learned about some of the things they say. The problem is, it's all lies and, even if some are true, completely unfair cos they ignore my positive qualities.

I'm good at my job. I know that. In fact, I know I'm better than most of them. I try to focus on my own thing. But somehow, I feel like if they get a chance to pull me down, they won't hesitate to do that. The curse of the outlier?

So the gossip is about you?! Is it about your performance at work? Pls do share what they are saying.