How do you tell what a guy wants on your first meeting?

Ask him how many kids he would like to have.

Any potential playa (WEED) would run a mile thinking you have gone bonkers, those that stay to investigate the reason for your insanity would either eventually become tight friends with you or actually turn out to be the one.

big_bumper:

Ask him how many kids he would like to have.

Any potential playa (WEED) would run a mile thinking you have gone bonkers, those that stay to investigate the reason for your insanity would either eventually become tight friends with you or actually turn out to be the one.   

you aint never lied sistah.  lol

But anyways, i don't think that's exactly her question. If the question was, "how to tell a guy is in for a long term relationship" i think your theory would work.

To thread starter:
I don't think there's a specific way to tell what a guy want on your first meeting.
The both of you are meeting for the first time, and apart from your appearance, and how well you can keep a conversation going, i don't think there's much espected from you.

Just make sure u converse good, and u look well . . . . . presentable. As you converse and get to know each other better, you'll realise what you both like and dislike. Then you avoid talking about the things he don't like talking about.

@big bumper
thats really some good advice, lol

Just be patient. Experience will def teach you. Once you've worked with people or dated a little more guys, you'll just know. You can "feel" them wishes right from the start with no effort.

ps: there are though some 'good' ones too who can easily fool u if they wish to.

Just expect the 'bad' desires from a guy until he's proven innocent

hot-angel:

you aint never lied sistah. lol

But anyways, i don't think that's exactly her question. If the question was, "how to tell a guy is in for a long term relationship" i think your theory would work.

Obviously, if all she was looking for was a caretaker because the landlord wasn't around or she wanted a one night stand to scratch a itch, she wouldn't give a hoot about what a guy expects abi, UNLESS what she really wanted to ask was whether it was okay to sleep with a guy on a first date?

I met my partner seven years ago and threw him the same question and we are still together and going strong, the only thing we argue about till date how many children we want. He wants one and i want at least four.

Another is to drop hints that your mum or dad is around and invite a guy round to your house and watch the bastard squirm and make a thousand excuses why they cannot come.

Trust me these things work.

I met my partner seven years ago and threw him the same question and we are still together and going strong, the only thing we argue about till date how many children we want. He wants one and i want at least four.

You can't marry him if you disagree on that!

seun, please this is a ladies only thread,
we guys are ony suppose to get information on the females and devise strategic ways to overcome the operational move
come on ladies,
on the learning curve.

I always make my intentions clear on the first date. If the girl is not okay with what I want, then I simply move on. Problem solved.

there is this problem i have of leading girls on,
i told myself this year i would not do that but to my surprise its happening again even when i tell her that i have a girlfriend, she still is so serious and says its does not matter beliving there is a future for us.
i feel terrible and i dont want to hurt her so i try to ease out and she back all guns blazing,
a little confused here,

Tmoni:

there is this problem i have of leading girls on,
i told myself this year i would not do that but to my surprise its happening again even when i tell her that i have a girlfriend, she still is so serious and says its does not matter believing there is a future for us.
i feel terrible and i don't want to hurt her so i try to ease out and she back all guns blazing,
a little confused here,

i feel your pain, Things like that always seem to happen to me even though i do not exactly go looking for it. Sometimes a girl just feels like you are the one she is meant to be with even if you have a girlfriend :-/ . sometimes she's right, sometimes she's wrong.

Back to the topic, i really don't think there is something you can say that that can actually let you know what a guy wants. you can get a feel for it though. There are guys who are not fazed by meeting your parents, or talking about babies, but are still players.

Trust me, i know

i have not read any of the aforegone post, but i am respondind to the topic.

he wants pu**y. some guys will ask for it (the confident bro)
some will play mr. nice guy(careful of them. they are usually deceitful) and wait for his moment.
some will go on to marriage just to get it( they are weak, and lack confidence)

but all a guy really want is the pu**y. first date, second date or no date.
its all about the Pu**y.

In favour of phoenixman

I agree solely phoenixman for what you have contributed in this post. there is really no need reading other posts by other columnists and posters. The question is quick and fast to answer. From my basic experience I have had with girls, I have noticed that you have a better advantage of getting what ever you want from a woman if you come out and say what you want from her.

If she ask you the golden question what you want from her and you indeed just want a stand and nothing to it. then you admit it to her that you just want sex and tell her why you want sex instead of a relationship. while you are at it, this is your chance to market your self and let her know the reasons why and also tell her how good you are in bed and what you can do and how long you can last.

Also I want you all to know especially the women that on a first date with a man, he could be good and so cool, the other cool be so direct and fast to ask for pussie, I do not think that is a problem I must say that you have to commend the latter because he has the nerves to say it and thus he could be realistic whenever there is really something worth going for you as he would be most open minded and let you have a feel of what he feels if you eventually have a relationship going.

Lastly. I know this from all views and experiences. when you meet a guy. in the heat of good discussion between you two in a period of 10 mins atleast, a guy is able to say if he would be with you for a long time or just after he hits you or just after he fools you into a relationship. so babes I want you to know this no matter the time it would take to hoard your pussie, a man would run if he wants to run away do n ot put the time factor as a determinant. some guys would not mind waiting for as long as 4 years, atleast your beauty is worth it and maybe your pussie but once they hit that spot and hit it so many times then they just fade out and get a woman less than you are.

so just be real and flow with the thrills, so many people who are successful in relationships today will never tell you the secrets that occured when they met thier hobbies of partner. perhaps on their first date they were real and went with the flow of the thrills and ended up the most inexplicable adventure of their lives, persona depends anyway,

last words, just be real and ask questions that you think means alot to you, and guys do not be afraid to answer what your heart chooses, its okay you just might not know what goes on in your ladies head, might click you know,,

@big_bumper.
asking this on your first meeting will cause both WEED and good plants to run away

you will be left with remarkably good liars. kids are a huge commitement, not to be taken lightly. any sensible guy would flee if you ask this on a first meeting. it will look like you are desperate, or crazy

LOL,

All these young guys and gals. It is a good thing I am retired otherwise, all of you who claim you can sniff a guy out would be my first victims

My advice to both sexes: Just be yourself and remember, you can go on a date without going on a "date", if you know what I mean

To the ladies: Don't let any guy make you feel that if you don't give up your body, especially on the first date, that you are worthless or don't love/like him, or that you aren't with "the times".

I understand that there are generational "skills" which one generation evolves over time, over another generation, but when it comes to the basics, those remain the same.

I hope this helps.

@topic

I can't tell you how to find out what a guy wants on the first date but you can always tell who is going to be a royal pain in the butt:

--If he keeps picking up calls during the date (the clown would apologise, but he would still answer his countless amount of calls)
--If he keeps talking about cars(especially if you are not into cars)
--If his favorite topic of discussion is football.
--if he takes you to a place that he has visited with his ex/es
--if he didn't ask you what you would like to do for the date.

watch out for these xteristics, they always turn out to be jerk-asses!!!

I can't tell you how to find out what a guy wants on the first date but you can always tell who is going to be a royal pain in the butt:

--If he keeps picking up calls during the date (the clown would apologise, but he would still answer his countless amount of calls)
--If he keeps talking about cars(especially if you are not into cars)
--If his favorite topic of discussion is football.

[/quote]--if he takes you to a place that he has visited with his ex/es
--if he didn't ask you what you would like to do for the date.[quote]

@desiree

Seems you are a whole lot of experiences , you seem to have been with clumsy and lousy men before. well I agree with you, I know how some men can be so selfish and arrogant not even thinking about the likes and interests of their dates,
buit which ever way, do not ever compromise your happiness for just some loser by making you seem you are inferior or desperate. its okay to ask such a question but what matters most is asking it at the right time, right gestures and right rhythms, make sure you concentrate more on pulses and gestures and not showing to easy that you are observing when you want to ask your much awaited question.

Goopd luck

desiree:

@topic

I can't tell you how to find out what a guy wants on the first date but you can always tell who is going to be a royal pain in the butt:

--If he keeps picking up calls during the date (the clown would apologise, but he would still answer his countless amount of calls)
--If he keeps talking about cars(especially if you are not into cars)
--If his favorite topic of discussion is football.
--if he takes you to a place that he has visited with his ex/es
--if he didn't ask you what you would like to do for the date.

watch out for these xteristics, they always turn out to be jerk-asses!!!

You must have a lot of experience dating boys and idiots! A good player will be the very opposite of all you just outlined!

phoenixman:

i have not read any of the aforegone post, but i am respondind to the topic.

he wants pu**y. some guys will ask for it (the confident bro)
some will play mr. nice guy(careful of them. they are usually deceitful) and wait for his moment.
some will go on to marriage just to get it( they are weak, and lack confidence)

but all a guy really want is the pu**y. first date, second date or no date.
its all about the Pu**y.

Absolutely NOT true! There are some girls you date and all you think about is when to sleep with them. There are some that sex takes a complete back seat and you are more interested in making her happy and taking her for keeps!
It is false to assume all boys are the same. Any girl who is eager for sex on the first date is out of my window by the third date!

Asking me how many kids i want on a first date will make me sit up and take you more seriously! It works well for me!

davidylan:

You must have a lot of experience dating boys and idiots! A good player will be the very opposite of all you just outlined!

Absolutely NOT true! There are some girls you date and all you think about is when to sleep with them. There are some that sex takes a complete back seat and you are more interested in making her happy and taking her for keeps!
It is false to assume all boys are the same. Any girl who is eager for sex on the first date is out of my window by the third date!

Asking me how many kids i want on a first date will make me sit up and take you more seriously! It works well for me!

Oh my days!!!
This is exactly the problem I have with NLer, y’all are too pretentious.

For your information I don’t date immature gits, even if I ever have, he won’t get the pleasure of a second date. I cannot pretend that such guys don’t exist even I have never dated one.
So, I cannot give advice anymore without it being the story of my life, please. Some of us have ears/eyes and a brain for a reason.

Yeah, a true player will try to be the opposite of all those things, but a player also has his days, one day he will slip and ladies will see through the charade.

davidylan:

Absolutely NOT true! There are some that sex takes a complete back seat and you are more interested in making her happy and taking her for keeps!
It is false to assume all boys are the same.

Heights of naivete
Kindly explain to the readers and posters, why then in[b] ALL[/b] relationships, copulation is the climax and all thing else is anti-climax in the affair?
All straight Men are the same, some have more confidence than some and are more direct. Some will seek companionship as a means of ensuring that the Pu**y is alway there for him _{until he get enough courage and find a new one}.
do you believe that when a man cheats on his wife and return its about love?
Its about what he found outside wasn't up to the standard of what he is used to inside. Thats self interest. The sex might be better outside but family commitment prevent him from moving on.
In such an instance the problem wont cease until divorce steps in.
I tell you its all about the Pu**y, everything we do as men is about the pu**y

We acquire power and money to increase our attractiveness to the opposite sex. its our "plumage" and its all done for for one thing ------- Pu**y.

@ pheonixman,

i will not argue your points further. Not all men are the same, what you are obsessed with may not be what interests others!

desiree:


Oh my days!!!
This is exactly the problem I have with NLer, y’all are too pretentious.

For your information I don’t date immature gits, even if I ever have, he won’t get the pleasure of a second date. I cannot pretend that such guys don’t exist even I have never dated one.
So, I cannot give advice anymore without it being the story of my life, please. Some of us have ears/eyes and a brain for a reason.

Pretentious over what really?

Pretentious in admitting that such guys exits without making it sound like the girl that falls on their plate is unable to make the right choice in guys.

desiree:

Pretentious in admitting that such guys exits without making sound like the girl that falls on their plate is unable to make the right choice in guys.

Its pretty much a given that such guys do exist, its also a given that many girls fall for such guys too! Many girls boast about not falling for such players until they fall victims themselves.

The reason why i said children and even MARRIAGE should be mentioned is because, when women talk genarally, they always say those topic should be out of bounds for a few months if you don't want to scare the man away. UTTER NONSENSE

Obviously, on the first date you are gonna talk about yourself, your families, your job, your education, your outlook on life, your future ambition, etc, SO it is very easy to slip these topics into the discussion without the man knowing that you are trying to scope him.

A guy with good intentions would readily answer you with ease, whilst someone up to no good would feel uncomfortable with such line of questioning.

Tmoni:

there is this problem i have of leading girls on,
i told myself this year i would not do that but to my surprise its happening again even when i tell her that i have a girlfriend, she still is so serious and says its does not matter beliving there is a future for us.
i feel terrible and i don't want to hurt her so i try to ease out and she back all guns blazing,
a little confused here,

In this current situation, you are not guilty of any act. It's either she has low self esteem, or she's one of those girls who likes competition and is hoping that she can snatch you from your girl or she's one of those girls who out of spite only become interested in guys once they acquire a girlfriend.

@ Seun

Ha ha, with my feminine wiles and charm , i can decide to have twenty if i want. I'll simply tell him that no one said contraceptives were hundred percent safe, that the only guaranteed method is male castration.

male castration?

lol. . word!

I really don't know what d arguments are about. I have discovered over time that certain things are constant about humans. There are 2 sides to every man or woman- the good and the bad, the continent and the perpetually Hot, ; The wise man knows how to bring out the side he wants in the other person. Secondly, a woman, reduced to the barest essentials is essentially a woman, with hopes, aspirations, faults, foibles, etc. She's a human being in flesh and blood, ruled, not always by logic, but by emotions and base inclinations sometimes. where does all this lead us? A woman will show you what you want on your first date- shikenah! Usually, if the girl is the very naive one, the perfect gentleman will not take advantage of her. He will try and protect her from herself, and subtly get across to her some facts of life. If he is keen on keeping her, good for him. On the other hand, if the girl is the 'over sabi ' type, i usually prefer to teach her a lesson. I'll let her brag about the things she will never do for a guy, then, i'll systematically, consistently and remorselessly destroy all her defences and make sure she does all those things and more. A decent girl deserves to be treated decently. In summary, treat a girl/woman the way she wants to be treated.

I think it's very sexist of you to refer to all intelligent women as an "over-sabi" type.