XaintJoel20:


Baba the matter no funny.
How did you cope

godsluvee:

holatimmy:
Two ladies back then in SS1,Best Friends to the core

So one of them hit the jackpot of one fine guy and they started dating,she was an Alhaja but she would sneak to snap pictures with her friend's bumshorts and crop tops and send them to this guy.She will call the guy with her Best friend's phone and have a lengthy conversation.

One day,the guy now called back on the best friend's phone and fell in love with her voice.Omo when Alhaja hear class scatter....she set up Hate committee for the Best Friend.
Who send them

*I had an experience of a guy I was crushing on hardly in Pry2 but dude no gree consider me,I hustled to become his seatmate make leg dey rub leg but mba...he wasn't interested.He had his eye on one Sickle Celled girl who I became friends with to see if he will notice me ...he did not o
Later the girl died,me thinking attention will shift on me...Boy was I devastated?
The guy jump my head to another invisible lady in the class.I was so hurt and betrayed
*what becomes of a broken hearted*

kelvinrhs:

You could start from the day u were born

onyenze123:


you have been shining teeth too much recently

godsluvee:
I'm emulating you

oviejnr:
Im here to read lies

*Modified make i add my story


I remembered those days in Command Ibadan, i have a close friend that we do almost everything together. It was almost light out but we decided to go say good night to our other friends in another hostel. Just when we were about to leave a senior beckoned on the both of us, he threw his uniform shirt to me and the trouser to my friend. We pleaded that we are not from his hostel and we had to go to bed but the senior bluntly refused. Then i and my friend in annoyance went to the reservoir and rinse his uniform without soap, just water. We flapped it and hung it on a plastic hanger, we sat there and gisted for a while to buy us enough time. Then we went back to his hostel and gave him back his clothes, as if he knew we didnt wash it he didnt even say thank you so we were not bothered or feeling guilty. The next morning we were going to the parade ground, then we heard a voice behind saying " sh1t those purple house boys no wash my cloth sha, see as map full my shirt they are dead today". We plunged into to the bush, didnt sleep in the hostel for one week.

PRISTINEMUSCLES:
Let me throw in this one.

I remembered when we were in this outdoor gym (street gym), guyz were doing competition on who could bench the highest reps with heaviest weights. Strong men were doing their thing as usual, one guy from nowhere started bragging he could bench 15 reps. He thought, what we were doing was child's play. I just tell guyz make dem clear road for am. No one will assist him to lift the weights. We left him and stood some distance away from the bench. Omo mehn, d guy no fit lift the weights from the ground, we assisted him. Oya now, start to dey bench, na problem. As him wan nearly do one rep, na him the barbell fall on top am. Omo mehn, guyz just discharge. The guy knock(faint). Na some pple lift the weight commot for him body.

For him life, him no go near weights again

onyenze123:


Well, it is good to emulate your husband

I am treating you well she, giving you all you want ti

godsluvee:
See this one lmao

No be by force to marry you nah

onyenze123:


smh

prettyangel10:
So just this last week, I wanted to buy a stick glue (uhu) I searched all through the bookshops at oshodi market, I couldn't get, the only woman that has said it goes for N1200, so I bought it, though was thinking how can a glue go for that amount of money, on my way back, I met this my customer and asked him, he said he has the glue but not the uhu brand, and it costs N300, chai, I told him I'm coming, I'll see him in some seconds,

I went back to d woman I bought d glue from, I told her I was called not to get d glue again, she said she wount give me back my money, I begged this woman for 30 minutes but she refused, in fact she was using me to do so many things in her shop, eating, jisting and what have you, na so I vex o, drag all the exercise books wey dey outside, start to dey rake for vanacular/ broken English. If you drag gburu today, gburu go drag you, who you dey feel like boss for? I go show you say me sef get craze for head.

The woman no believe say this person wey dey beg now now don change am, I started saying things that even me my self don't believe I could say on top of my voice, so some other of her colleagues came around and appealed to her to return my money back. As desperate as this woman is, she said she was going to lay a curse on d money, I told her that if dem born four of you well, curse money make I dey look you, you go see today, it's with trembling she gave me the money o.

As I got into d bus even till now, I still dey laugh say e good make person get small craze o, otherwise, people will override you any how.

godsluvee:
Shake it wella

tosyne2much:
Where do I even start from?

Ishilove:
Those carefree days when the girls in Makama Bida Hall engaged in free-for-all cussfests with the dudes in Sodeinde Hall.

We were neighbours, you see. We could not waka in peace without the boys cat-calling or making fun of our dressing. The 'war' I got directly involved in was the one that erupted when one naughty boy declared that somebody's pant (she hanged it on her window to dry) was big enough to sew Iro and buba.

Goodness, that night was bloody. I could have sworn they heard the ruckus yonder Senate building. We flocked to our windows and the backyard to cuss ourselves out and pour 'pant water' on the boys. The 'battle' only ended when the hall porters threatened to call the infamous UNILAG 'Black Maria' to arrest us for disturbing the peace.
Aaaaaah, those were the days...

stealthtiger:

Eyin awon makama. Sodeinde boys and our cuss were still going on until about last 2 year they sent us packing for renovation.
You can't just imagine how unlively new hall is now. Devoid of those activities that make it the center of Unilag all dues to the absence of Sodeinde boys.

Na Biobaku dey hot now

davtosh:
I went to see a Friend at the Polytechnic Ibadan and on getting to the door I knocked as I could hear ppl jisting inside they must be around four or five in number ladies were among.

Who is it ? a voice asked from inside

"Please Im asking of Tunde" I replied

"He is not around" the voiced replied

"Ok when he come tell him" I didnt finish the sentence when I heared "eeehn" Ewooo
they all bust into laughter shouting "ScudMissile"

I realised it was the blunder in my english that brought about the laughter I should have said when he comes not when he come

I knew they were coming to open the door and before that would happen I ran towards a group of students walking towards my direction and joined them coming back towards the door the group of students were wondering what my problem was and I too was looking at their faces like "you never see anything" and that gave us a kind of expression that we were communicating while we were not I looked over to the door and saw them rushed out to see who dropped the bomb but they were surprised at how the person disappeared so soon and that got them more amused as they were laughing hard. Me I just bone pass them with my "new colleagues" acting like we were going for lectures together.

Anytime I remember I just laugh at myself.

Flintstone06:



I don laff dey cry already..

NevetsIbot:
I had the best laughter in months reading your story. Boy! Over 5mins laughter. My neck and stomach ache already.
Thanks bro.

Haha

davtosh:
In the secondary school Almost all my Classmates didnt like Maths may be because the teacher was a boring type.

Maths period was the saddest period for me and many

Mr Salako the maths teacher came this day as usual and started creating his problems and solving them by himself at every stage he would ask " Is it clear" and everyone would chorus "Yes sir"
Just for him to do his thing and leave us in peace for more interesting subjects.
"Is it clear"

"Ye sir"
kept on working on his problems on the blackboard.

"Is it clear" ?

" Yes sir" we chorused

At the end of his problem solving

He created another problem and
he turned back and asked

"Who can solve this problem" ?

Every one of us were looking at him like Babbon wey never chop for days.

No one signalling by raising up hand.

He looked at us in amazement

"Cant someone solve this simple problem or Is it not clear"

Every one us chorus again " Yes sir"

It was the first time in my life I would see a teacher cursing his student " Ko ni daa fun yin"
Mr Salako said almost crying

"Mumuni" ! he called the class prefect
"Siiiir" he answered

"Go to the staff room at my Table go and bring me the bundle of cane" "Gbogbo ee ni ko ko wa"

That day Mr Salako beat the whole class like he would kill us

Marvel1206:
Na mess story deh turn u on ntie

Flintstone06:



How you go go command and you no go get story; My fellow commando, I salute you jare

Flintstone06:



How you go go command and you no go get story; My fellow commando, I salute you jare

holamiday:
That occurrence still goes on in UNILAG till date. It usually happens on evenings when the guys are idle in a blackout. God bless you if you are fat and you pass by. There's another version at Jaja hall too. Those ones tease faculty of science girls.

Maychang:
During the Ebola- outburst, there was a mesaage that went round about Salt and water bath (Im sure we all know this)

That very day at my hostel, i realised many girls received calls from home about bathing with salt water. Well...as a doubting thomas which i could be sometimes, I didnt bother (even though i had enough salt in my wardrobe).

Only for me to get to the bathroom and i saw a girl whose water was looking so creamy. I suppose she bought salt worth #1500 and poured into the bucket of water. I looked at her and started laughing....She looked at me too and probably realised how stupid she was and she joined in the Laughter.

I couldnt hold back, i had to tell my roomates about it. Anytime i remember that day, I laff out so Loud especially when it was clarified that it was a rumour.