dangotesmummy:
You have painted the politics that goes of in the African families aptly and perfectly.

This was exactly what happened to my grandfather. Very tyrannical. So the mother's waited for their kids to grow up and defend her.the mother's usually rely on their kids for social security so they do all their best to ensure they're educated and well placed even if they were not.as soon as the kids are financially stable the mothers begin to incite the children against their father as a means of revenge. Some mothers even lie to their children about their father because of the years of resentment and pain.that's when you will hear baba yin lumi.then the children will ask what do you want, the mother will now begin to emotionally manipulate the children with if you don't build a house for me away from. Your father ,you will kill me.the next thing is all of them will begin to run around to build house for mama, get house help for her so that she will be doing as she likes

Of course some of the kids might support the father but in the minority however the disadvantage is that now the mother has painted the father black to the children, the children don't want to have anything to do with their father again and even keep the grandchildren away from their father.till my grandfather died I didn't know whoever my grandfather was.I never had one on one contact with them

Some of my aunties who were on my grandfather side still had his picture.it was when I went to her house that she pointed the picture of my grandfather to me on the wall.I even discovered that the long time hatred between my mom and her sister was because mom was on NY grandmother side while my aunty was on my grandfather side and the genesis of the hatred started when baba started marrying wives.

Bottom line is that this thing doesn't just end in one generation. I haven't even seen some of my cousins and even when they married mom didn't tell me so I won't go because of the same beef she has with their mother for supporting her father.so in their mind now they think I'm with my mom is the unnecessary battle even when Grandma and grandpa have died,the battle and hatred is still there

wasolad01:
Great article.
God bless you OP.

danidon08:
Op so on point! Even to speak with my dad is problem. Barking orders at everyone till date.

He once asked why everyone was to closer to mum than him,
Ans: Most childhood memories we have of you is koboko in your hands

Let me also add,that the way the average Nigerian husband treats his wife is the cause of MIL wahala. They have no time for their wives, complaining she is fat, this and that, but all the children see is ever-loving mummy. People then advice her "FOCUS ON YOUR KIDS" and she starts focusing. When the kids grow, she forgets it's time to let go _they're all she has. The kids on their part can't forget all mummy did, and that's how we get the possessive MIL .

Look around you, you'll rarely see MILs with loving husbands going to disturb anybody. They can't even leave their husband to come do omugwo for 3mths.

PaperLace:
Lols. Only (prospective) tyrannical dads have this paranoia...
I am closer to my dad_ at the rate my husband is going, I won't be surprised if our kid(s) are closer to him. If I tell them to go buy me something, from there they'll reach Crunchies fast-food and start sending me selfies. I won't see them, nor what I requested _for an hour+.

On this same NL, we have seen lots of men say their own is to provide money. I have seen one say he can never bathe or feed his kids, forgetting that's the best time to bond with them.

Some Nigerian men would never take their wives for antenatal.
They don't know how to bathe a child or wear a diaper.
When mummy isn't around, the whole house will be in disarray.

You think kids are blind?
The earlier y'all get it into your heads that fatherhood is beyond paying school fees, the better. Mummy works too, manages the home and still bonds with the kids. You don't have an excuse.

I have never seen kids hate a good dad, except they're bewitched or plain stupid. Proud Daddy's Girl

Sharrap!

LastMumu:


Sharrap!

lovelygurl:
G

PaperLace:
Lols. Only (prospective)

I have never seen kids neglect a good dad, except they're bewitched or plain stupid. Proud Daddy's Girl

PaperLace:
Lols. Only (prospective) tyrannical dads have this paranoia...
I am closer to my dad_ at the rate my husband is going, I won't be surprised if our kid(s) are closer to him. If I tell them to go buy me something, from there they'll reach Crunchies fast-food and start sending me selfies. I won't see them, nor what I requested _for an hour+.

On this same NL, we have seen lots of men say their own is to provide money. I have seen one say he can never bathe or feed his kids, forgetting that's the best time to bond with them.

Some Nigerian men would never take their wives for antenatal.
They don't know how to bathe a child or wear a diaper.
When mummy isn't around, the whole house will be in disarray.

You think kids are blind?
The earlier y'all get it into your heads that fatherhood is beyond paying school fees, the better. Mummy works too, manages the home and still bonds with the kids. You don't have an excuse.

I have never seen kids neglect a good dad, except they're bewitched or plain stupid. Proud Daddy's Girl