Hi Nairalander,
What should I do I just found out that my boyfriend has a child I confronted him, he wanted to deny but when he realize that i knew the truth, he told me everything. he said he wanted to tell me but did not know how to go about. he went on about how he screwed up, that it was the greatest mistake of his life and that he is very sorry. he said that he was not even in love with the lady and that it was a one time event. The disappointment was that he did not even tell me, i had to find out from a the ex girlfriend's friend. The friend told me that he told his ex girlfriend when it happened ( they were dating that time). Does that mean he does not trust me enough to tell me. i am shocked and confused. should i leave him or should i believe what he is saying. but a guy that lies to you once by being silent can do it again. please what should i do?

D guy is a coward&untruthful,if not he would hav told u at d start.I ad similar experience couple of yrs back.My gfriend told me hers a month into our relationship.Pressures from my friends&family broke our relationship&i really like that we broke,cus i got anoda girl thats ok.It depends on u,if u want to still go ahead fine,if u dnt fine as well.But me i cant do such

if he REALLY is that sorry and it sounds as if he is i would try and be with him i believe every
1 should have a second chance! (not 3 or 4 tho) it could work out you will never know untill youve tried!?
and you'll always wonder if it could of. its hard 2 forgive but with hard work in the relationship on both sides it could happen

Please leave him what was his excuse for not telling you in the first place, waiting for the right moment, guys that is what they always say waiting for the right moment to tell you. it is better you leave a guy that cannot confront you and tell you that he has a child. it is a wicked guy that does that to a lady. Please leave him, and before you do try and look for a means to hurt him as much as he hurt you.

Maybe he didn't know how u'll react,just take it easy and see if u guys can work thngs out.

Thanks for the reply but the thing that makes me sad is that he told his ex-friend about the incident when it happened, did he not trust me enough to tell me. Although he is acting sorry but I find it hard to believe everything he is saying at the moment. Some of my friends have told me to leave him, but when i think of the things he has done for me, he was really nice to me although some say he might just be faking it. i do not know what to believe any more.

continue?
i don't think so

hey thanks for all your reply, but am now thinking if this guy is really worth my forgiveness. The other day he said that ever since i found out i have been stressing him, that his parents did not give him as much stress as am giving him. is it worth it?
he said that it is better we take break, is this the guy i want to forgive that is saying all these. I just can't believe it. the only thing i consider was how nice he was to me. well i think he is not worth it anyway.

ur case is good.

after dating my boyfriend for some few months, he called me to tell me that he had a kid from another woman. i was shocked, forgave him and continued with the relationship.besides, he was really nice to me so i was thinking i will be labelled as uncaring if i left him (just the same way you are feeling)

he took me to meet his parents.only for me to discover some months later that he actually has two kids from the same woman and he had paid the lady's bride pride and they even had a lavish wedding. how i survived it, i dont know. he said that he and the lady have been having serious problems and that she was the biggest mistake of his life. my advice to you is: make sure your man is not married to the woman. DO NOT BELIEVE EVERYTHING A MAN TELLS YOU.

Search your heart and be very sure of what you want in life, if you are sure that u want to go ahead, good, and if not, pls find your level b4 it get too late. God hate divorce, it's not in his plan for man

Disturbia listen to what oluclem said . that is the best advice ever.

A part of me cannot deal with the fact that he has a kid by someelse, i mean i get angry most of the time whenever we talk and he ask me what the problem is, I simply say nothing because he feels everything is ok btw us. My family and friends do not know that am still dating this guy because they all told me to leave him. Now i think that is the best thing for me to do.

I think he's a coward, go away from him as soon as possible.

it depends on if the reason y he broke up wit his ex was cos he told her n was scared to tell u so the same thing wouldnt happen