This short story is set in the same universe as SHUT UP AND DRIVE, a very short and funny story i wrote
Although this is a stand-alone short story, i encourage everyone to read it because the main character of this story was first introduced there. https://www.nairaland.com/3235240/shut-up-drive-completed-short.

ttime, goldenruby, owadave, osjaay, NevetsIbot, edbor, babyunique, opeoluwa99, repogirl and to those silent readers that enjoyed reading Nnamdi's gbege, this is the parallel sequence i promised ( one year late )

Hope you all enjoy this one
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“ Pop pop pop, pop something, pop pop pop champagne” The three of us sang inharmoniously to the Dr Sid song as we clinked our Jack Daniels bottles while doing tipsy dance moves about the crammed self-contained apartment that my associates and I rented in a secluded area for our covert operations.

“Trio Salute!” I slurred
“Heeeey Heeey Hey! Hey! Hey!” Nkem, Kunle and I responded immediately standing rigidly with ours heads tilted back and facing the ceiling.
“See the money ehhhh” Kunle said opening the briefcase stacked haphazardly with a combination of 1000 and 500 naira notes.
We each grabbed an armful of money from the briefcase and sprayed the room with reckless abandon as was our custom after every successful operation.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My name is Kelena George, well, that was how I introduced myself in business circles. To my crew, I Was called Yellow Mellow or plain Yellow. It wasn’t really a creative name because I was really light skinned and that was the first name people called me before finding out my given name.

My crew and I had no clue what our real names were and I preferred it that way – technically though they didn’t know what my real name was, but I knew what theirs were.

After splitting our loots, we then stayed separate until we called or got a call on our second phone for a new job but we always waited at least 2 months before taking on new jobs.

From a very young age, precisely junior secondary school, my friends and I had a slogan that said “All way na way, JJB”

JJB was an acronym for Jack, Jam and Block. By that we meant, to succeed (in examinations), we would jack, jam (cooperate in the exam hall) and Block (bribe the lecturers or teaching assistants) to help our scores.

All way na way, meaning we would succeed no matter the consequences and this slogan still meant a lot to me even after I dropped out of university due to lack of funds. During one powerful sunday service, my pastor spoke about having 3 sources of income to succeed and so, I found mine.

In a movie I watched long ago, I discovered each human has 2 selves – the visible self, which was what most people saw and the invisible self, which is the true you that's known to you alone and maybe a select few capable of guessing it.

Except, I was a man with two visible selves. One for my crew and the other for the rest of the world.

Yeah, I take lessons from movies too.

my crew saw the lowest ranking member of crew with little brawns, little brains and an adrenaline junkie high on others oppression during jobs.

The rest of the world saw a modest manager of his uncle's Abuja branch of The Electronic Warehouse dedicated only to his Job and annoying friend.

Everyone saw my carefully cultivated visible selves . No one knew the true me.
**

Welcome back.

Nice start, although short.

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repogirl:
Welcome back.

Nice start, although short.

New post coming up later today! Thanks so much for sharing repogirl

Despirado121:
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Thanks Despirado! A new post will be coming up later today

**

I fumbled with my door key trying to unlock it while balancing my duffel bag in one hand and my phone locked tightly between my lips, gorilla glass gets broken and until phone companies begin marketing titanium phone screens, I had no plans on being careless with my phone.

I sighed and dropped the bag on the floor and the phone on the bag and was about to slot the key into the keyhole when my door bust wide open and I staggered to maintain my foothold.

“Guyyyy, welcome home o, how your trip go?” Augustus -my neighbor in the flat opposite mine- slurred while standing stark naked at my doorway. I swore and turned my head away cursing

“na long story which I am unmotivated to tell at this very moment cos why you dey my house and wetin happen to all the clothes wey dey your house” I said still facing away from him my voice rising with every syllable.

“na cd I come collect, you know how d thing dey na, I no get time to wear clothes before the mood disappear, you know how it is nah” Augustus said moving to his own door

“Just return my key abeg, go shop go buy ur own or tell madam to bring from her place” I said while picking up my things and closing my door. That guy always made me regret leaving my house key behind.

I went through my 2 bedroom flat looking for anything put out of place by the clumsy August. I always left a spare key permanently in August’s apartments because I felt it would make me seem like a trustworthy guy and frankly speaking, like the antithesis of an armed robber.
It wasn’t like I was going to keep wads of cash or stash illegal weapons around the apartment. That was just foolish but I did have a personal safe somewhere in my house. Nice try guys, I am never going to tell you the exact location.

I walked into the kitchen feeling ravenous and quickly set about to warm my 2 week old beans from the freezer. Well, if you remember the nursery rhyme, you’ll know that some like beans porridge hot or cold but some like it in the pot, 3 days old.
I don’t imagine the author of that rhyme knew some liked it in the freezer 2 weeks old, especially when famished.

I scooped some of the beans into a plate, dropped some slices of bread which I brought from my trip and went to the room. I was alternating between shoving food into my mouth and changing to comfortable clothes.

I guessed that I must have slept at some point because I woke up to the sound of sports commentary coming from my sitting room.

I wasn’t sure what was going on; let’s call it disorientation from being jarred awake from my much needed sleep. Let's not call it the terror of being dragged away in my boxers to detention, which it probably was.

I crept slowly into the sitting room with all the paranoia a human being is capable of, armed with my phone and wallet in case I needed to escape my home.

As I got to my sitting room, I saw my neighbor, Augustus bloody Okorie, with a plate of beans and bread surfing through the sports channel. I silently prayed to any deity listening to give me strength to not bash my neighbor’s skull and I wasn’t even a violent person.
Except when on the job, but remember that was another "self". This guy though, August, could make a saint murderous.

“Augustus!!!!!” I spat out, my face already turning red from controlling my anger, this guy was just like that mosquito flying into your ear in the middle of a sweet dream

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“Augustus!!!!!” I spat out, my face already turning red from controlling my anger, this guy was just like that mosquito flying into your ear in the middle of a sweet dream

“Sleeping beauty don wake, how your travel na?” August said with his mouth full, not even sparing me a glance.

“What.Are.You.Doing.Here?” I said slapping the wall with each word

Augustus finally glanced at my direction, although it was obvious from his facial expression that he was holding back a laugh.

“My subscription expired and because you weren’t around, I decided not to let your subscription waste in your absence” August said with a broad smile as if he was proud of his genius thinking.

“Am I absent now? Why are you here?” I said heading towards the front door which opens directly to the sitting room.

“Shayo is in the shower now but she wants to watch African magic, so I quickly came to watch my own” August said pointing the remote towards the television. He never could pronounce his girlfriend Sayo’s name right, it always sounded like SHA-in shark and YO- in yoke, he was basically calling her alcoholic beverage.

“Get out, let me sleep in peace” I pointed to the now opened door.

Just then, Sayo breezed in

“Aww thanks Kele for opening the door, a fine gentleman you are” Sayo said walking inside even as I tried unsuccessfully to prevent her from coming through .

“No no, the door’s open for that your big headed boyfriend to leave “I said pointing to August who was sat comfortably on the couch.

“My mum always said I look like a prince and that woman knew her onions” August said putting on his best smile for his girlfriend and I.

“I always thought you looked like a pretty onion” Sayo laughed and sat on the couch pulling August closer. August had a mock surprise look on his face and started talking about how she was a traitor and what he did to traitors.

“A prince is a son of a king, your mum lied to you” I murmured walking to the kitchen. I couldn’t make up my mind about going back to sleep or keeping an eye on the privacy invaders in the sitting room.

Augustus had no sense of my personal space which was to my eternal dismay. His actions suggested that whatever was mine, was his- and by extension, his girlfriend’s too.

After living in this 2 bedroom flat in Jahi for 2 years, I had begun accepting it. Sometimes, you had friends and sometimes some friends had you, this basket case had me and somehow, not by my choice we had become best of friends.

on the bright side though, if I ever got caught, Augustus was going to be my character witness whether he knew it or not, after all, he was supposed to be "my best friend", the police were going to question him and i bet Augustus was going to declare how awesome i was as a friend and how i could do no such wrong. He would declare how i had no secrets and he knew everything there was to know about me and vise versa but there would be no need for that to happen. At least, i hoped so.

finally, i decided my sleep was ruined as long as those two were chilling in my place and instead, I took a light shower and dressed up in a grey long-sleeved polo shirt and the nearest black jean trousers in my closet. I went through my grooming motions quickly because I wanted to arrive at my legitimate business before it was time for the sales representatives and assistants to close for the day.

I looked at my watch, it was 5:16pm and I could make it in time to surprise my employees. They always had no idea how long my trips would last or when I would return unexpectedly. It kept them on their toes, I made sure of that.

“Mr. Augustus, I’m heading to The Warehouse, go back to the apartment you paid rent for” I said standing in front of my flat screen TV, blocking their view. “and one last thing August” I said adjusting the shoulder strap of my messenger bag.


“anything for you Mr. Kele?” August said gesturing for me to move away from the T.V

“Stop finishing my food”

It was time for me to go I decided, if I didn’t go already, I might miss being an unpleasant surprise to my employees. The boss is back.

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My pleasure bro.More ink to your pen..

It was time for me to go I decided, if I didn’t go already, I might miss being an unpleasant surprise to my employees. The boss is back
**

I climbed my bike, revved the engine and hit the road. My bike wasn’t special, it was just two steps up from being an OKADA.
I relished the freedom and speed that came with riding a bike, but most importantly, it didn’t need a lot of registrations, papers and particulars like a car and it was easy to discard if I was ever on the run from the authorities. I hoped that day would never come. Fingers crossed

My legitimate business which I sometimes called it in my thoughts is named The Electronic Warehouse. It’s located at the second biggest shopping mall in Gwarimpa area. The commute wasn’t stressful because I lived in Jahi. I arrived at the warehouse just in time before the last 2 sales rep on locking up duty left. It wasn’t exactly the dramatic entrance I hoped but it would have to do.

I put on Johnny Drille’s beautiful love track which played softly in the background. I mostly listened to the songs Augustus played because he always made me try listening to what he liked and i stopped fighting the process because of his relentlessness.

I dived straight into work. I had been away for 2weeks and I had a lot of work to catch up on. I started by logging to the camera feed from the warehouse, I played the feed on fast forward and kept an eye on the feed while I checked crosschecked what was sold with the quantity I left behind. I was looking for any discrepancies in the books. It was pretty easy for someone to steal from a big place like this, but being the established thief, i knew what to look for and how to find buried things.

It was a big floor at the bottom of the mall, the one–stop shop for electronic appliances. I noticed a newly employed sales rep, Tony, was overly handsy with a female customer and had subsequently taken a 2hr lunch break from the video footage. I took out my notebook and recorded *Disciple Tony*, there wasn’t much to record because most of my employees knew better, they had learned the hard way, just like Tony was going to learn.

I took a break from my work stuff and logged on to the spy video cameras I had at home. I was mostly interested in the video footage at my front door. I needed to see the people that showed up in my absence. Like the cameras installed in The Warehouse, I could login and watch the feed from anywhere, but I let the business take priority in my absence. What would be the point if I lost everything I worked for because I was careless? Good news though, nothing of consequence happened and so, I switched to the inner camera. It was just boring feed of August raiding my fridge, watering the plants, dancing haphazardly, watching TV with his girlfriend and finally, the video feed of earlier today when he was looking for the condoms.

Most people don't have spy cameras installed in their home but most people weren't me. I wasn’t sure if I could still remember a time when I wasn’t ruled by paranoia. I suppose in the early days though, a time when i lived a little fast and reckless, when i hadn't watched my old crew gunned down, i suppose i wasn't so paranoid because the danger of my reality was just a possible occurrence in my mind.

excerpt from Hand of God.mp3- Jon Bellion


I am just a man, I am just a man
Who lusts, gives, tries
Sometimes I lose my way

Tears at a funeral, tears at a funeral, I might break
Angry at all the things, angry at all the things I can't change
When you're lost in the universe, lost in the universe
Don't lose faith
My mother says, "Your whole life's in the hand of God"

One week later…..

I jerked upright from sleep and sat on my bed, my hands covering my eyes, the tears were running freely at this point, i could taste its saltiness as my tears slid past my lips. Some nights, the dreams were worse, i could still see the vivid image of gushing blood, their blank dead eyes staring at nothingness.

How did someone move past that? how did one continue with life?

I sighed, wiped my eyes and decided I had enough of the foolishness, my life was a consequence of my choices. It was about 5 am, no rest for the wicked right? It was time to join the productive members of society. I mentally ticked off my morning routine; sit-ups, shower, breakfast, news, update journal, email and work.

1hr 30 mins later, I sat with my legs propped on the coffee table, a plate of fried eggs, sausage, toasted bread with a glass of juice barely touched while I surfed nairaland, the financial times and my emails intermittently.

A soft knock on the door and August strolled in. He was dressed up for work in a black dalmatian patterned shirt and a matching light grey coloured waistcoat, trousers and socks with brown monks at his feet. He had a piano slung at his back and a laptop bag in his hand

“Hey” August said, dropping his piano and bag by the door

“Hey, what’s up” I replied looking up briefly from my laptop

“You know what’s up” August said heading to the kitchen.

August worked part-time as a music teacher in two secondary schools, and the days he worked, he stopped for breakfast at my place before heading to work. I always had breakfast at about the same time on week days and August too lazy, decided to mooch off mine. I didn’t mind though, I hated cleaning up the mess he created when left by himself in my kitchen.

By the sounds I heard coming from the kitchen, he was making toasts and I cringed at the sound of scraping plates. Dear lord let my kitchen survive August.

Shortly After, he was he was washing the dishes and waving me goodbye with a promise to show up later at The Warehouse. These little mundane moments made me remember living with my uncle in Lagos, long before my life of crime.

My mother – which was my Uncle’s only sibling died when I was 5yrs old. She was an English teacher at a federal government secondary in Port-Harcourt. Most of my memories from that time are a little unclear, but I remember she gave me lots of books because she loved reading. She was run over by a car on her way to pick me up from the nursery school I attended and she bled out on the street.
My mother was beautiful, my uncle gave me some of her pictures, but she never got married though. The man who was engaged to her – my biological father was already married. She found out and moved from Owerri to Port-harcourt without a backward glance.

After she died, I don’t remember where I stayed before my Uncle showed up and took me to Lagos. I’ve tried to remember but I only have pieces of the memory. My uncle, a suave investment banker at the time was a godsend. I wasn’t lacking in anything, not affection, not material things. My uncle never got married but he did have affairs, a lot of affairs.

I dropped out of Lagos State University when i was 20yrs old, as an intelligent and naïve individual about entering my third year of economics. I hadn’t realized that my uncle's gambling habit had gotten uncontrollable because he tried to shield me from it and succeeded, i was stunned when I eventually realized that he had lost everything. I repeat, uncle George lost EVERYTHING.

I got up from where I was perched on the couch. I had enough reminiscing for one morning and it was high time that i went on with my day, it wouldn’t do for the boss to display tardiness.

Wow...thanks for the mention, sorry am just coming.
Great story

Detective Kunmbi Majekodunmi was celebrating her 39th birthday by eating her favorite meal of amala and gbegiri during her lunch break at the local joint near the office. Amid swallowing hot morsels of amala that was generously covered in gbegiri, Kunmbi reflected on her career so far as an operative in SARS.

Most of her career had been spent as a paper-pusher, staying on the sidelines, being safe and basically an underachiever. She had been thinking of making a change during the days before her birthday, she wanted to solve a case before her 40th birthday and she knew just the one.
Cracking the series of three-man gang carjacking case would make her a local hero- she could almost see the headline on television- that would most definitely fast track her career and ultimately rid the city of one gang leaving mayhem and destruction in their wake.

She adjusted the belt of her uniform and asked Rashida, the sales girl, to bring her one more wrap of amala.

She mentally reviewed the case details for the umpteenth time, the information was still incomplete. The various victims report suggested the robbery gang had 3 members. A Yoruba, Igbo and an unidentified ethnic group, all male of varying height above 5ft 7, late 20’s or early 30’s, religion undetermined.

Detective Majekodunmi washed her food down with a bottle of coke and two sachets of water. Vital parts of the case were missing there wasn't an immediate identifiable pattern to the carjacking.

The 3 man gang stole Suvs, sedans, vans, Trucks, even a Mercedes-benz E200 1990 model… who the hell steals a used 1990 model E200? Even their victims varied between Men, Women, young, old. There just wasn’t enough information, at least nothing useful.
What was the reasoning behind each theft? Was it planned or spontaneous? Were the victims targeted or chosen arbitrarily?

First thing after she got back to the office she would petition the SARS in other states to send a copy of any open cases matching the profile of this gang.
Decision taken, she washed her hands, paid the bill and headed back to the office. Down the line, If she wanted to make headway, she would have to work with Jasper who was a pompous brute that got things done and never let anyone in the squad forget it.


**
“Evil spirit 2009”
I switched off the phone after reading the text sent by Kunle, my crew’s leader.

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ttime:
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“Evil spirit 2009”
I switched off the phone after reading the text sent by Kunle, my crew’s leader.

I had 24 hours from when the message was sent to reply, I hadn’t decided on an answer. We- meaning my crew and I, rarely ever took unsanctioned operations and I never took part in the rare times they did. Although one night in July, on the way going to drop off the Venza we had jacked at Okene to Abuja road, we spotted one car parked by chance and took it off the unfortunate cry baby we saw peeing in the bush. We got payed for the 2 cars but sanctioned jobs fetched more money because the vehicle's make and model were preordered and the price agreed on.

The last job we took was barely a month ago and the agreed interval between jobs was 2 months. This one was clearly unsanctioned and i wasn't sure if i could take the risk.


I looked at my personal phone and saw a Whatsapp message from August

Augg: Hey bro, Sayo wants to hang at Green View Garden in Gudu, she says to tell you TGIF and she’s not taking no for an answer
Me: No
Augg: she say’s 7 pm
Me: NO

Then, I received a new notification on WhatsApp
….. Augg has added you to a group musketeerz

Augg: she made me do it
Shay: sssh
Me: Bye

You have left this group
Shay has added you to this group

Me: *frown* wtf I’m not showing up
Shay: smh you never do anything fun, I’m doing my civic duty trying to get u out of the house
Augg: what she said
Me: …
Shay: dat a yes?
Augg: my treat too
Me: is the world over? Or did August just say he would pay?
Augg: …psyche?
Shay: lol I think the world is over K, see u there
Augg: ^ that’s what happens when one knowingly dates a turncoat…
Me: yeah whatever comrade
Shay is typing a message

You have left the group




7:15pm that Friday…

I was slightly suspicious of August for trying to get me to “hang”, it wasn’t like we three didn’t do anything fun but August offering to pay upfront was a red flag. Even the park they chose wasn’t around where we lived. It was at Gudu junction

But on joining them at their table, I found out the reason.

“Hey K, this is my friend Erin” Sayo said with a huge smile

So, all this was to set me up with some chic right? I thought to myself and looked pointedly at August, he knew better than to match make me with anyone.

“uh … I’m kelena and I wasn’t expecting to meet someone new today” I added for Sayo’s benefit

“Pleased to meet you, I’m Erinayo, I wasn’t expecting to meet someone new either, Sayo care to explain?” Erin said looking at her friend

“Feel free to chip in a word or two August” I added looking towards the guilty faced August.

“well.. uh” August coughed “uh since we are here anyways why don’t we just order the food immediately” August completed looking at his girlfriend whom, as if on cue got up from her chair and pulled her friend up

“Allow the ladies to pick the fish, we know these things better” Sayo said pulling her friend towards the hut in front

--
“August, what am I doing here?” I turned to glare at him

“You are here to eat fish, chips and plantain” August said trying to deflect the question while i just continued glaring at him; I wasn’t in the mood for jokes.

“I’ve known you for 2 years now and you haven’t dated anyone, you said you went through a bad break up and so I gave u space but biko after 2years, person suppose move on nao. Erin isn’t one rando chic, I know her, I know you and I know you two will get on well, become fast friends and who knows after that?” August rambled on.

It was really laughable, August said he knew me but even the story I told him about the bad breakup was a fat lie. I just didn’t do relationships, not now when I was juggling my illegal dealings with all its pitfalls and trying to run several successful business ventures. I didn’t want anyone getting too close to me, I didn’t want to mistakenly slip up some vital information and end up caught in a lie, revealed as a fraud. I just didn’t do relationships because I couldn’t- not yet, anyway.

“You should mind your business” I said giving up

“Where’s the fun in that?” August said winking at me.

“You are a crazy person” I told him matter of fact

“Maybe, but abeg just give tonight a chance, you don’t ever have to hear of Erin forever in your life, if you don’t enjoy this hangout” August said pleadingly

“How dramatic of you, whatever, this fish better be good since we left the whole of Jahi area to come to Gudu for fish” I said noticing the ladies were on their way back to the table. Erin was light skinned like me and I hoped that wasn’t the only thing August saw that he thought I would get along with her

“How dramatic of you, whatever, this fish better be good since we left the whole of Jahi to come to Gudu for fish” I said noticing the ladies were on their way back to the table. Erin was light skinned like me and I hoped that wasn’t the only thing August saw that he thought I would get along with her.

“They also have a live band” August said in a hopeful tone

“What do I want to use live band for when I have a home theater system at home?” I asked raising an eyebrow

“Ugh if u must know Erin leaves close by, it would be easier for her to get home” August confesses

“.. And suddenly the truth is revealed, hallelujah!” I said in a mock preacher voice, just as the ladies were taking their sits. Erin sat beside me and Sayo sat beside her boyfriend. I was flanked on both sides by August and Erin. It’s a round table for four.

“What’s being revealed?” Erin asks looking at me. I subsequently noticed some things; she has a black curly afro hair, is wearing a yellow Ankara cold shoulder top that stops at her mid riff and is wearing white skinny jeans.

“August here was just telling me what an amazing friend I am and how much he cherishes me in his life” I said with a slight smile at August who sputters, making her and Sayo laugh.

“T-That’s a lie” August replies weakly.

“Don’t be shy, Augie” Sayo teases her boyfriend who she knew was incapable of saying such.

“Babe na, how about the fish, we dey hungry” August says quickly changing the topic.

“They said 30 minut-“Sayo starts to reply but gets interrupted by the waiter to take the order for drinks.


One hour later, the grilled fish arrives, Sayo and August settle on one of the catfish, leaving me to share the other with Erin. They weren’t even trying hard to pretend they wanted to hook us up.

August begins telling us about the two songs he has been working on for his EP and how ‘preposterously amazing’ it would be when it hits the streets (August is talented- preposterously amazing is reaching too far though) Also, he laments how his other part time job (playing other people’s songs at lounges and hotels) is not challenging and proceeds to tell us funny stories of what he’s seen while at work.

At random intervals, I found myself glancing at Erin and thinking seriously strange thoughts. Like some minutes ago, I was thinking how she looked like a Sonia or maybe an Angela and maybe her middle name was Sonia. Now, I was wondering what her shoe size was, she was tall, maybe 5’10, and might have big feet? I don’t even have a foot fetish. I notice that her eyes are her best features, she has an angel smile and a devilish twink in her eye. She's a mischievous one - i like mischievous ones, my fried brain stupidly thinks -

August taps me on the shoulder which makes me look up and I notice they are all staring at me waiting for an answer.


“Um … what was the question?” I asked vaguely remembering that something was said.

“Erin asked you what’s the type of movie u enjoy watching” August answered giving me a knowing look which made my cheeks turn red at being caught

“Um… I prefer anything in the science fiction g-“I tried answering noticing they were all smiling.

“Augie just said that you would say that and that you hate action movies cos you are so scared of guns, blood and are such a cry baby” Erin said laughing

“AUgie needs to SHUT UP” I said stressing the name which prompted August to clutch his chest as if he was wounded

“That hurts bro that really hurts” August said sounding mock anguished. Sayo then leans closer to pat his head in sympathy.


At this point, we were all heading to the part where it would be responsible for us to stop drinking. Inhibitions were running low because we had begun laughing and joking around like crazy people.
I had to drive a bike home, I wasn’t crazy, i stopped drinking. August was going through a teetotaler stage, so he was safe to drop off the ladies at home.

In the haze of the night, we had made plans for the next day, I let it slip that one day, I could host them all at my place to watch a couple of the Sci-Fi movies I liked and then, next thing I knew, I was agreeing to host them tomorrow. The ladies rambled on their ideas for tomorrow’s lunch and games to play while August went to settle the bill. The way they were planning was as if they had an all-expense paid trip to Dubai and not a lunch date.

I decided to call the night over. We said our goodbye’s and proceeded to begin heading home. Just before I sped off on my bike, I turned on the second phone to reply Kunle’s message in one word.
“Out”

I don’t even remember what time I arrived home or changing clothes before sleeping, all I remember was waking up in the morning feeling refreshed. I slept better than I had done in a while, i wasn’t sure if it was the company I hung-out with, the alcohol or a combination of both. All the same, I woke up with a smile. It was Saturday, the warehouse only closed on Sundays but it would have to go on without me today.

I mentally catalogued what I had planned for the day. Sayo, Augustus and Erinayo were stopping by in the afternoon for lunch and movies.
I got to work in taking my apartment to another level of clean than it usually was, mostly for Erin’s benefit because the other two had seen my apartment in various states over the years.

Yesterday, they had decided to meet at 2:00pm, which was fine because it would give me a long time to prepare.

1:30pm
I examined my wardrobe wondering what outfit spoke casual but not lying-around-the-house kind of casual outfit. I settled on a black short sleeved T-shirt with ibo boy inscribed at the back and a khaki-colored Chino trousers.

2:30pm
I cannot prevent the moan from escaping from my throat as I swallow my first spoon of the hot yam and fish pepper soup that the ladies prepared. It was a pleasant surprise to find out that Erinayo was a part-time caterer and a good one at that.
We had just begun watching the movie I promised, it was called Looper. The movie was a set in the future society with time travel technology that only existed on the black market. The movie was 5yrs old but it was evergreen.

I moaned again as I swallowed another spoon of the deliciousness, one would think I was a starving child by the way I was sounding. This pepper soup made sense.

“Are you really okay, the pepper isn’t too much for you right? “ Erinayo asked again, turning to look at me. We were both sitting on one couch while August and Sayo sat on the opposite couch.

“Uh, nah, the p-pepper is p-perfect” I mumbled speaking with my mouth full.

“He’s a confused guy” August snickered.

“Why, what’s confusing about food?” Erin asked quizzically.

“He’s confused because the food is messing with his head and he can’t think straight, confess” August replied pointing at me.

“I confess that this pepper soup is uniquely delicious” I said smiling.

“As the person who did the majority of the cooking, I’m glad to hear that” Erin said beamingly.

“I object! I was an active participant, I contributed fiercely by keeping you company while you were cooking - telling you funny stories, making the time you spent cooking go quickly” Sayo said mock seriously pointing at Erin, who decided to take that time to pause the movie.

“What she said” August chipped in.

“Augie you are officially banned from butting in because you weren’t even there” Erin said glaring at August. “Now, over to you, Miss Sayo, admit it, so we can go back to watching the movie and eating”

“I admit nothing! I cannot be persuaded to the contrary” Sayo Declared.

I couldn’t help smiling while I watched the exchange between the two friends. You could tell Erin and Sayo were good friends by the ease of the banter. I held my peace and continued gulping down my plate of yam & pepper soup. They continued exchanging words until some wrong doing was admitted on Sayo’s part.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

Somewhere in Ajao estate around 7:30 pm…

Detective Jasper Osunsanmi was at a viewing center watching the Barcelona vs Villarreal match with a plate of pounded yam and white soup and a cold can of African special. He had bet 1000 Naira on 2 direct National with Baba Ijebu and was waiting to check his result by 7:45pm on the site online. This was how he spent most of time on weekends because keeping scum off the streets was hard work the rest of the week. In fact, he had been approached on another case by the majekodunmi woman whose only job in the past had been to rear children and sit on her fat behind eating her government salary without deserving it. In fact the majority of his colleagues where exactly the same way, they were fat disgraces, it was a shame to call them colleagues at least this pot bellied woman had woken out of her passiveness and wanted to be part of the solution. He might take the case if he wasn't so busy. He was busy because he was the only one doing anything in the entire SARS, he single-handedly solved cases as far as he was concerned and needed a commendation if at all for not being fat.



10:00pm that Saturday night

I was sitting on the bed with my laptop while I played back the video from the camera that was installed into one of the bulbs in my sitting room. I kept staring at Erin’s smile … and it wasn’t just her perfectly white teeth I was staring at.

I picked up my phone as soon as it beeped, it was a new WhatsApp message from Sayo’s silly musketeerz group she always added me to whenever she wanted to talk to me and her boyfriend.


Me: What now?

Shay: Hey to you too

Me: Hey

Shay: so… any thoughts on my friend Erin?

Augg: Yeah, today was fun right?

Me: Aren’t you supposed to be working right now? @Aug

Augg: Nothing can stop me from talking to my babe and my guy

Me: … So u r on break

Shay: Lol, he must be

Augg: :p yeah, regardless wasn’t today fun though Kele

Shay: Yes! I saw him checking her out on the sly

Me: I wasn’t checking anyone out, I got work to do right now people, no time to waste

Augg: He’s doing that thing where he pretends to be busy when he’s trying to avoid the topic

Shay: HAHA IKR?

Me: You two sound no better than preschoolers

Shay: He’s still doing it he he

Me: Lady and gentleman permit me to take my leave at this juncture, I cannot participate in this juvenile conversation anymore

Shay: Waitttttt…

Me: WHAT NOW?

Augg: Breaks over BooBoo :*

Shay: Tell me what u think about her

Me: No thoughts … bye kids

I switched off my phone immediately after that, I knew she would keep bugging me if I didn’t and then, I went back to pretending I wasn’t obsessing about Erin and the conversations we had earlier alone.


Long before now, probably 4hrs ago

After watching 2 other Science fiction movies, August said he wanted to go prepare for “work” and Sayo went along with him to help. Obviously that wasn’t the case, August was terrible at lying, which to be honest was a trait that was refreshing to me. It was just an excuse to have Erin and I chat without them. And so we chatted.

Nice one bro.. You are good

“They are so terrible at lying” Erin said with a laugh as if she read my mind.

“Yeah, but I guess that’s a good thing” I said nodding

“You have a beautiful home. Did you do the arrangement yourself?”

“Yeah, although it helps when you own an electronic shop, you get lots of things free”

“Oh I thought Sayo said your uncle owned it and you were managing this branch?” Erin asked with a raised eyebrow

Damn, I slipped “ Yeah, yeah he does, my uncle hasn’t been in Abuja for many years though and now it almost feels like I own it” I said getting up from my seat and heading to the kitchen to hide the redness of embarrassment from my face. Damned fair skin “I should get us more ice”

“Only your Air-con can make this drink cold” she said laughing she must not have noticed that I was covering up my mistake.

“That’s why you should patronize The Electronic warehouse, tell your friends and family that we only sell the best” I joked feeling better that she hadn’t caught me in that lie.

“Leveraging on free advertising I see “

"Have I also said that we sell at affordable prices too? We even allow up to 3 installments of payment? Effective and cheap, you need to use those words when you tell the world” I said glancing back at her when I opened the freezer. There was no wall separating the kitchen and sitting room, the only wall demarcating it led to the 2 rooms.

“Cool” she said catching my eye with a smile

I indeed owned the warehouse, both the Lagos and Abuja branch. I owned a lot of things gotten from Ill-gotten sources even though I’ve tried to clean up the money by funding my legitimate business. I knew from time that it would only make sense if all my property were registered as my uncle’s. Who would believe a 31 year old guy achieved all I had without a trust fund?

My Uncle was in agreement with the cover-ups and he knew all about the businesses that I registered in his name. It all worked out well because my uncle was my only surviving relative. If something happened to me, I would want him to have everything I owned and vice versa.

Although I’d tried to shield him from all the nitty-gritty of my operations, he knew when i went on an operation and always checked to see if I had returned and was safe. I made it a priority to see him either before or after an operation and also update him on the procedures on taking over or selling if I was not available or dead. I wasn’t under any Illusions about the risk that I took every day by having the lifestyle I did even though I routinely hoped to return free and alive.

I brought back a tall glass cup filled with crushed ice from the kitchen and placed it on the glass coffee table beside her side of the couch.

“Thanks” Erin said politely with a smile and I retook a sit beside her on the couch.

“You are welcome. I never really have anyone over here to entertain. Just August and Sayo but they do what they want whether I want it or not. I just go with the flow” I said bringing my own chilled drink to my lips. It’s cranberry juice, not alcohol, not after the night we had all yesterday.

“You don’t strike me as a guy to let people ride you”

“Ride me?” I said raising an eyebrow with a smile

“Not that, silly” Erin said swatting my arm

“Ouch, I know what you mean. I just let them get away with what they want. It’s easier that way and August is a good friend, so it doesn’t matter” I said rubbing my arm where she had playfully hit me

“Aww you have such a big heart” She teased.

“Nope, my heart is very dark thank you very much” I said laughing

“That’s not what someone with a dark heart would say”

“You mean, that’s exactly what someone with a dark heart would say” I said laughing lightheartedly.

“I know what I meant, Sayo said you are really grumpy, but I haven’t seen that yet, you are sweet” Erin said responding to my laughter.

“Sayo and August bring out the worst side of me, don’t believe anything they say, I’m generally good-natured” I hadn’t had this sort of pointless discussion in a long time. It felt good.

“Some minutes ago you said August was your good friend, now you are saying I shouldn’t believe what they say about you, isn’t that inconsistent?”

“That’s because good friends bring out the worst in you. It’s written in the friendship handbook, haven’t you read it?”

“These days I don’t read anything that’s not in business textbooks” she said and noticed I was looking at her questioningly “because I’m doing my MBA. Sayo didn’t tell you that was how we met?”

“Nope, Sayo conveniently forgot to mention anything about you, up until yesterday at the garden, I didn’t know you existed.”

“So she goes about telling me unsolicited things about you but never mentions me, she has some explaining to do”

“In her defense though, she probably didn’t tell me anything about you because she knew I wouldn’t listen. Anyway are you both in the same class and are you also a part time student?”

“Yup” Erin said nodding.

“I guess you know a lot about me from Sayo’s blabbing but I don’t know much about you. Would it sound cheesy if I asked you to tell me about yourself?” I said shifting on the couch to her face squarely.

“It would have sounded cheesy if you had said something along the lines of –oh bebe I love you, talk ya own” she said using an exaggerated Igbo accent with a mischievous smile.

“Oh is that how it is now? Just let me catch you this Yoruba girl” I laughed snapping my fingers.

Dear vocal and silent readers, a new update's coming tomorrow

“I guess you know a lot about me from Sayo’s blabbing but I don’t know much about you. Would it sound cheesy if I asked you to tell me about yourself?” I said shifting on the couch to her face squarely.

“It would have sounded cheesy if you had said something along the lines of –oh bebe I love you, talk ya own” she said using an exaggerated igbo accent with a mischievous smile.

“Oh is that how it is now? Just let me catch you this Yoruba girl” I laughed snapping my fingers.

“Let’s leave the personal conversation for another time” Erin said with an unreadable expression on her face.

“Isn’t that presumptuous of you – believing that there would be in fact another time” I said teasingly.

“Kele?”

“Yeah?” I replied raising an eyebrow

“Till another time”

“Yes ma” I said laughing at her authoritative tone and then she swatted my arm again. “Ouch, that’s violent”

“You don’t want to see me violent” Erin said trying and failing to look menacing but looked adorable instead.

“You’re like a rabbit threatening a lion. I could eat you up before you complete that sentence”

“Oh, okay” she said slowly “this is me changing the topic right now before it gets too awkward. That last movie we watched, criminals, I was wondering something” she said and paused

“Yeah,What about it?” I said sinking into the pool of her beautiful brown eyes. It was like staring at something you really wanted but was bad for you. You knew it was bad for you but you still wanted it like an asphyxiating man needed air.

“You know how in the movie the CIA agent that died had his memories implanted in that criminal guy?” She asked and I nodded still drowning in the pool of her eyes. “Well, I was wondering what the world would see, if the technology was in existence and our memories could be implanted in others. What would I see if your memories were implanted in my brain?

I forcefully snapped out of my daze although I hoped it was undetectable to her.

“I-I” I stuttered trying to rein in my scattered thoughts “I probably should put the remaining food in the fridge before it spoils and all the work you put in would be wasted” I said trying not to jump out of the couch when I dashed to the kitchen immediately.

“Uh okay. Was the question too weird?” she asked misreading my actions. “Sometimes I think strange thoughts, actually I don’t think I do but some other people say so. Depends on whose opinion you choose though” She said to my retreating back.

I know that I should have reacted better but I was caught off guard, unprepared for such a question. How could some even prepare for such a random question? But frankly I wouldn’t wish my memories on my worst enemy, let alone her (For those wondering who my worst enemy is, there is only one for a criminal) because the darkness in my memories could quench all the stars.

“No no, I don’t think your question is weird, I think it’s very thoughtful of you to see beyond the surface of things. Digging deep is always a good trait in a person” I said as I reentered the sitting room “ my recent memories would be boring though, nothing but thoughts of making and receiving order for electrical equipment and boring day to day routine at the warehouse. I wouldn’t wish such mundane memories on my worst enemy” I said artfully dodging the question.

“That’s cool” she said sounding not totally convinced. “Anyway, I better get going I should head over to Augie’s right now to talk to Sayo and then get back home before it gets too dark. It was nice spending the day here and getting to know the person Sayo had been talking about” Erin said getting up and starting to head to the door.

“Alright, it was all my pleasure. Remember you owe me one personal conversation about yourself, be rest assured that I will collect soon” I said helping her to open the door.

“Sure, take care” She said with a smile and walked to August’s door.

“Take care, till next time” I replied and closed my door.


I switched off the laptop after watching the video feed for what felt like the hundredth time and just lay in bed staring at the ceiling and replaying the day in my head.