Have u ever wondered why is it dat when you're talking to girls you are not crushing on there's no
much pressure on you and you close up, but screw up
with the ones you really like?.
Chances are pretty good that you've said or thought one of those things
before.
And that's cool. But here's the odd thing:
For the past ten years, a TON of dating advice has become available on the
Internet . And yet, to this day, thousands of guys still have these
exact same problems.

With the thousands of words that have been written, and the hundreds of
books, ebooks and DVDs out there, why do so many guys still have these
exact same problems?
It was a question that had been battling me for so long.
And the answer… blindingly obvious… is something that people don't normally
talkabout:

-- FEAR -

To be continued...

The PARADOX OF INFORMATION
Now, what if, during the course of your struggles with women you were told that the only way to be
great with them was to read 600 pages of stuff and become intimately
familiar with female psychology and "deep inner game" and how to
project social value and the consequences
of not knowing those things is that women will blow you out, reject you . I remembered the first time when I read all those pick up techniques I became worst because my fear with women increased.

Well, if you believed all that, then you'd probably develop a healthy dose
of fear towards women. I
remembered the first time when I read all those pick up techniques I became worst because my fear with women INCREASED, in fact I became worst.

The truth is that all you had to do was rely on your natural instincts
and a few simple actions.
And what's funny is that, unlike driving a car, it's wired
into you to know
what to do with women. It's part of that genetic code of yours.
This leads me to the PARADOX OF INFORMATION:
At a certain point, MEMORIZING
more information leads to less
knowledge.

KNOWING IS DIFFERENT FROM MEMORISING
Alot of dating gurus will keep telling you to memorise lines such as Openers, number closing, cocky lines, end game, mid game, phone game, canned routines etc but they actually ain't telling you the real problem that has been holding you back from women.

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAY BUT HOW YOU SAY IT
Infact, I don't encourage you to learn any pick up line cos when you're communicating with women 90 per cent is of your body language and only 10 per cent is on what you say. Women read body languages well enough and can sense when you're faking confidence.
And I'm here to say that the information you're consuming is crowding
out the stuff that you already know how to do.
Now think back to your girlfriend. You didn't know jack squat about
"game". And yes you were nervous when the moment came to kiss her.
But more or less, you already knew what to do.
some not so much… but every time, you get little butterflies in your stomach
right before you go in for the kiss.

So is that fear?

Nope, just nervous excitement.
I mean, chances are you've kissed a girl or two and you
know what to do.
But you don’t do it when it matters!
And here's what happens around those 9's and 10's you're struggling
with… why you're "off" on those moments when you need to be your
best…
Because of everything you've been taught by society,
friends and other dating gurus, you're mistaking the
nervous excitement, which is a TOTALLY natural
physiological reaction to the situation, with FEAR, which
is the unnatural psychological interpretation of the
situation.
Basically, the Fear that's holding you back is something you "picked up
along the way" in your mind.
It's not programmed in to who you are.
And learning more tricks, techniques and "inner game" is not the answer.

Now look - I'm not here to say that techniques and material aren't
useful.
If fear gets in the way, then it doesn't matter how sticky-sweet the
techniques are. And when you add information overload to the mix, it
creates this VICIOUScycle:

1.) you're in a moment, with a girl, where it matters, so you get in
your head trying to remember everything you've been taught
2.) more panic and fear is induced
3.) the pressure causes you to shut down
4.) the girl FEELS it…
...and everything goes boom. She either gets bored, or stops seeing you as
a guy who she'd be interested in romantically.

I remembered when I crammed all the different opener s( situational, opinion, direct Openers) I was to use to open a girl but on getting to her, her responds differ from what I planned and the convo became awkward because actually the lines ain't mind so I don't know how to respond. I ended up talking about lectures (boring).

FEAR
If you can overcome fear then everything in dating will be easy. Don't worry there is a solution to this problem.
The fear you feel is in two forms.
1. Fear of approaching a woman or approach anxiety
2. Fear of going physical.

APPROACH ANXIETY
Have you always wondered why you can be very confident with the girls you're not interested in but once you see that girl you like your heart starts beating fast? Don't worry that's natural. It's called nervous excitement. But when you're afraid to approach her its called fear and you picked it up along the way. is totally normal to feel a little nervous, but you cannot let these feelings keep you from introducing yourself to women.
But do not allow this fear to make you give excuses , let your fear motivate you.
There is rush of excitement you will get from meeting an attractive woman
So enjoy the butterflies in your stomach, and let these feeling motivate you to make something happen . The main thing that has been pulling you back to approach women is...

FEAR OF REJECTION
Even though I don’t know you, I am quite sure you are scared of being rejected. You are scared of not being accepted by others. You are scared others could have a bad picture of you.
If that describes you, then there is one mindset you should always apply.

‘Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don’t mind, and those that mind, don’t matter.’ – Theodor Seuss Geisel

The main idea of this quote is that the opinion of others about you doesn’t count. It’s as unimportant as another drop of water in the toilet, so don’t let others have any influence on your behavior.
Women are warmer people than men. If you walk up to them for whatever reason then they will be okay with it as long as you lay no lame pick-up lines on them and as long as you don’t apply too much pressure by asking them right away for their number or if they want to go out for a drink.
You cannot force a woman to like you!
Women love attention, and approaching them is a confirmation to them that they are attractive.
Why would they want to reject you for that?
Have some respect for women, but when approaching them, change your mindset from ‘I cannot walk up to a stranger without having a reason’ to ‘Women love to be approached, so I will be a nice guy today and do something good by approaching her’.
Another mindset you should apply is that you are not too focused on what you’ll get out of the approach.
‘The most important change in my life was to change my attitude when it comes to approaching women.’
I see it as training, as fun and as just another experience.
It could be fun talking to her and if not, then I will have worked on my approaching skills. Period.
The world won’t end if you get rejected.

What most guys do as a result of this anxiety is look for pick-up lines and techniques they can use when they see a woman they are interested in. The Problem is, after having spent lots of money to learn some lines and techniques they have memorized, they somehow just don’t work the same way they do for the guy that sold them to you.
It just doesn’t work this way because no matter what terrific and sophisticated line or technique you have, if you feel something holding you back from walking up to her, you either won’t approach her at all or you’ll seem so plastic that she’ll instantly reject you.

Now that we have covered the mindset and that pick-up lines and techniques aren’t what you should be looking for, it’s time to give you tips

1) Both men, and women, want to meet each other.
There are many unhappy individuals out there wondering where Mr. or Mrs. Right is. We are all looking for each other. Infact girls like attention they loved to be approached but not in a creepy way. In fact if a girl likes you she can be confident enough to start conversation with you using excuses such as asking for directions, questions etc. Some prefer to eye you. So stop making excuses.

2) The faster you move, the less anxious you get.
We have a flight/fight response hardwired into us for most situations from primal ages. In this case, flight is staying away from the person of interest and giving in to the fear. Fight is to say “I feel scared but I’m going to do it anyways”. As soon as you see someone, the faster you move your feet, the less time you brain has to make excuses, to fill your head with nonsense reasons or words to cloud your judgement, and ways of making you sound like you have no command over the English language. Principle of momentum: once you start physically moving, it’s hard to stop. The motor pathways fire faster than those thoughts, so move those legs!
This is where the often noted three second rule has been spread around: if you see someone you want to talk to, do it within three seconds or else you’re going to be bogged down with anxiety.

3)You make rejection way worse than it will be.
Girls are very interesting to talk to, when I started approaching them they always smile, the worst I've heard were, “Thanks for coming over, but I’m not interested”, “I’ve got a boyfriend”. You better get out of that lie that has been deceiving you and even if you're rejected it doesn't matter.
If you are still feeling nervous, take a moment to consider how you will feel if you do not approach her right now.
Will you regret it later?
Even though you may feel nervous, this feeling will only last for the first few moments as you begin to talk to her.This is much better than living your life constantly wondering, “What if…”And every guy experiences that feeling of why didn’t I approach that hot girl when I had the chance.
"you can only regret the approaches you don’t do, not the ones you actually do."

4) The more you converse, the easier it is
The more you start conversations with random people not just in a “I’m trying to date you scenario”, the more social activities you have going on, the more you are outside of your house exploring the world, the easier it will be to have these conversations. The best teacher is experience.

5) Nothing will ever change if you don’t approach
If You don’t go up, you have no chance of meeting someone. There is risk involved in any activity, and unfortunately, yes, that includes dating. You take the risks of possible rejection, laughter, embarrassment, and hardship… But you have the benefits of potentially meeting someone amazing. The nature of why they are amazing is up to you, but how will you know if you don’t go and say “Hi”.

6) The nervousness is normal, don’t fight it but you can desensitise it.
You can’t control your emotions, you can only accept them and select the course of action you wish to undertake. You can use the nervousness to fuel you in saying “Wow I must be REALLY attracted and NEED to go talk to that person”, or shrink into being too afraid to talk to them. But either way, the nervousness IS normal. You are not abnormal for being afraid, there is nothing wrong with you. But know that you can become desensitized by doing it again and again.

7) Approach everyday.
With all this you may say "But I can’t just walk up to people, I’m too scared!”
In Mark Manson’s book, " Models" he advocates a CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)-based approach for desensitizing yourself to the fear. Fear cannot be destroyed, only alleviated, and shown to be unwarranted (again, by re-programming beliefs). Just go out and approach women again and again till the fear is desensitised.

You don't need pick up lines(although sometimes they may help) .You should not have to think of what to say or do, just walk up to her and say what’s on your mind.

YOU DON'T NEED PICK UP LINES
Remember earlier I said you don't need pick up lines cos they don't always work out like the way you will expect (as the originator, they are his lines not yours) and when a girl responds differently you get confused not knowing what to say. You then come back asking for more advice. The truth is that how to talk to women is already in you and fear has been holding you back. Once you desensitise fear you will be surprised at your success with women.

Another reason is that it's not really about what you say but how you say it. Pick up lines don't help here unless you're confident enough. Let me share a story with you.
I once went into the cafeteria to enjoy myself when I saw a gorgeous girl who ordered food and sat next to me . I would have chickened out if it were before but since I had learned to desensitise fear. She ate what was on her plate but it was unable to finish. So I just turned to her and said " Are you tired of eating?"with a serious face, when she turned and looked at me she started laughing and the rest is history. On analysis what I said wasn't actually funny but the confidence in which I used to speak surprised her that she have to laugh.
I once had a coursemate who is very funny and have a likeable personality. He will tease everybody he wasn't interested in but can't say Hi to a girl he likes because he is afraid of not making mistakes but that actually is the beginning of mistakes. The truth is that we are good with women we don't like but because fear has been holding us we can't be good with a woman we like. No wonder we end up with average girls and women we don't like. Once we can treat a woman we like just like the way we treat our friends and others you will see instant success. This is because we are not afraid of upsetting them, we don't even plan what to say to them, we tease them, play with them but that girl we're interested in we try to behave ourselves which is not helpful.

So who's following, let me hear your comments

Kalatium:
So who's following, let me hear your comments

kool stuff.adding it to my arsenals.fear do incapacitates.thanks

Dangerousboy:
kool stuff.adding it to my arsenals.fear do incapacitates.thanks

Your welcome

FEAR OF GOING PHYSICAL
Even if some guys managed to escape the approach anxiety, they still have fear of going physical. When I say physical I mean touching, kissing, hugging, cuddling, sex etc

Kalatium:
FEAR OF GOING PHYSICAL
Even if some guys managed to escape the approach anxiety, they still have fear of going physical. When I say physical I mean touching, kissing, hugging, cuddling, sex etc

If you want to go physical with a girl you should know that it's a step by step process i.e it isn't instantaneous.
The touch
Most guys always have fear of being rejected and some get rejected when they want to kiss a girl because they have not broken barriers through touch to build comfort but instead always rush for a kiss.
HOW DO YOU BREAK BARRIERS
To break barriers you have to start touching her right from the time you first met her. Touching can be in the form of shaking her hand firmly and maintaining eye contact this shows you are confident. Another way is to touch her arm and you can go as deep as putting your arms around her shoulders.

Who took ma rain coat

OP, this is very useful. I salute you.
OP weldon sir

Kalatium:

If you want to go physical with a girl you should know that it's a step by step process i.e it isn't instantaneous.
The touch
Most guys always have fear of being rejected and some get rejected when they want to kiss a girl because they have not broken barriers through touch to build comfort but instead always rush for a kiss.
HOW DO YOU BREAK BARRIERS
To break barriers you have to start touching her right from the time you first met her. Touching can be in the form of shaking her hand firmly and maintaining eye contact this shows you are confident. Another way is to touch her arm and you can go as deep as putting your arms around her shoulders.

THE TRUTH IS THAT EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE TOUCHED.
Touch plays an important role in any social interaction, even beyond Seduction
We all crave touch from the moment we are born. A baby comes into the world, screaming and the only thing that shuts him up is when the health professional hands him over to mama and he gets his first taste of touch and is like "Ahhhh, Heaven!"

Some people are born lucky and touch is so second-nature to them, they don't have to break out of any social mold like many of us do.
However... for those of us who only get hugs from your mom and sis, it is time to gently expand your touch to include those around you (yes, even your guy friends).
Start to pay attention to how (if at all) you touch your friends and family. Grab someone's arm gently when you want to make an important statement. If someone is sad, or tired, or stressed, rub their upper back in light circles and give their shoulder a squeeze.
I believe that deep down, everyone is starving for real human contact, and I have personally never had anyone tell me to stop touching them.
Once you get comfortable with your tactile communication, you will want to start touching some ladies.
When meeting a girl for the first time, start up the touch as soon as possible. Make a few jokes, charm her with your irresistible wit(be funny) , and touch her upper arm gently. PAY ATTENTION to how she responds!

If you are getting green lights (smiles, she may touch you back) then continue by removing your hand, waiting for another high point in the conversation (like when she's laughing) and then touch her more again . Remember : Touching should be brief but done frequently

If you are getting red lights (she gives that "what do you think you're doing" look, she backs away, or breaks eye contact) then back off and make her miss your touch for a while. Even if her backing off upsets you, don't let her know it! Be cool man — show her that nothing affects you.

Adasun:
boooooom!
Kalatium this is a classic masterpiece.


Let me enjoy da ride wid u buddy

Thanks man

Adasun:
boooooom!
Kalatium this is a classic masterpiece.


Let me enjoy da ride wid u buddy

Thanks man

Rayfield:
OP, this is very useful. I salute you. OP weldon sir

Thanks so much but I'm also a learner

The girl to the right will be easy to do a Cruyff turn with

Nice one man, pls talk more about the physical touch

AyamStarch:
Nice one man, pls talk more about the physical touch

Sorry, have been busy with exams, will continue soon

WHY I'M I TELLING YOU THIS
Cos I'm a victim. I depended on pick up artist telling me what to do. Infact I read every PUA book I lay my hands on and I can assure you that I know alot that can award me a university professor. I read till my brain begin to ache. I read books and Ebooks, visit over 30 websites on Women and subscribed for daily email. Below are some of the books, articles etc:

# The Game: Penetrating the secret society of Pick-Up artists by Neil Straus
# Double your Dating by David Deangelo
# The mystery method by Mystery
# Make her chase you by Tynan
# The Seduction Method by Carlos Xuma
# The dating black book
# The player's black book by The player
# The secret of seduction
# Fractionation by Derek Rake
# Succeed with women
# The natural how to effortlessly attract women by Richard La Ruina
# The ultimate Seducers guide by Badboy
# The Art of Seduction by Robert Green
# How to Be an Alpha Male by John Alexander
# The ways of the Superior Man

Comedy books like
# Comedy Writing Series
# Tease to Please
# How to be funny

Books on body language
# How to understand other's thoughts by their body language
# Body language basics

I also learn from websites like
# The Modern Man
# Attraction Institute
# life academy
# Attract with personality
# and many more I can't remember

Sleek Stuff!

Drink , any1?

HARDDON:
Sleek Stuff!

Drink , any1?

If only you spell out your words well, your dating drills would have been nice, but it's nice that you schedule time to bring up the frail, timid, feeble and frightened minds to courageousness.

You really can do better man. Resist the urge of shortening the English words and you'd be fine. Just about fine

Where's my friend lalanice?

SirMichael1:


If only you spell out your words well, your dating drills would have been nice, but it's nice that you schedule time to bring up the frail, timid, feeble and frightened minds to courageousness.

You really can do better man. Resist the urge of shortening the English words and you'd be fine. Just about fine

Where's my friend lalanice?

right here . how you doing?

you follow this dude?

lalanice:
right here . how you doing?

you follow this dude?

Lol. If I follow him, I wouldn't be as mean as I am. I'd be some loving, peaceful, cool-headed guy. But you know better

So the much anticipated festival is over, I had the experience of climbing those hills, rocks and valleys. It was lit

SirMichael1:


Lol. If I follow him, I wouldn't be as mean as I am. I'd be some loving, peaceful, cool-headed guy. But you know better

So the much anticipated festival is over, I had the experience of climbing those hills, rocks and valleys. It was lit

oh really! I meant to ask you, but I didn't save the date. good to know you were able to attend. I hope that doesn't mean bye bye to igara for another 7yrs tho.


by the way I like that you know you can be mean, I hope you are not really like that o

lalanice:
oh really! I meant to ask you, but I didn't save the date. good to know you were able to attend. I hope that doesn't mean bye bye to igara for another 7yrs tho.


by the way I like that you know you can be mean, I hope you are not really like that o

My parent has been seeing to it that that doesn't happen. They wouldn't have me become some child who doesn't know his hometown. Although I barely speak the language -partly because we communicate with English at home- but I understand to a great extent most words even though I don't have the accent and fluency.

Lmao... This is just some online personality. I like people to think of me as that vile, unfriendly, annoying, wicked and blunt guy and I must say, it really has been paying off. People avoid me like a plaque All my life I've had people flock around me, I need something different, something more appealing to my cognitive

This is just an arcane fantasy being fulfilled

SirMichael1:


My parent has been seeing to it that that doesn't happen. They wouldn't have me become some child who doesn't know his hometown. Although I barely speak the language -partly because we communicate with English at home- but I understand to a great extent most words even though I don't have the accent and fluency.

Lmao... This is just some online personality. I like people to think of me as that vile, unfriendly, annoying, wicked and blunt guy and I must say, it really has been paying off. People avoid me like a plaque All my life I've had people flock around me, I need something different, something more appealing to my cognitive

This is just an arcane fantasy being fulfilled

OK, I thought so

Kalatium:
WHY I'M I TELLING YOU THIS
Cos I'm a victim. I depended on pick up artist telling me what to do. Infact I read every PUA book I lay my hands on and I can assure you that I know alot that can award me a university professor. I read till my brain begin to ache. I read books and Ebooks, visit over 30 websites on Women and subscribed for daily email. Below are some of the books, articles etc:

# The Game: Penetrating the secret society of Pick-Up artists by Neil Straus
# Double your Dating by David Deangelo
# The mystery method by Mystery
# Make her chase you by Tynan
# The Seduction Method by Carlos Xuma
# The dating black book
# The player's black book by The player
# The secret of seduction
# Fractionation by Derek Rake
# Succeed with women
# The natural how to effortlessly attract women by Richard La Ruina
# The ultimate Seducers guide by Badboy
# The Art of Seduction by Robert Green
# How to Be an Alpha Male by John Alexander
# The ways of the Superior Man

Comedy books like
# Comedy Writing Series
# Tease to Please
# How to be funny

Books on body language
# How to understand other's thoughts by their body language
# Body language basics

I also learn from websites like
# The Modern Man
# Attraction Institute
# life academy
# Attract with personality
# and many more I can't remember

MY EXPERIENCE
The funny thing is that after reading all those listed above, my Dating life will be outstanding. But the truth is that I only became thesame guy except that I had more information (this is when I realised that more information is not knowledge).
The highest I could do was to apply what I learned on social networks esp. Fb & Whatsapp . Truth b told, I seriously got into trouble like some girls calling me and warning me not to talk to them like that, some were rude and in some cases I went into some problems I can't mention here. But despite this, a few worked which made me so scared to go n practice it on people physically.

Kalatium:

MY EXPERIENCE
The funny thing is that after reading all those listed above, my Dating life will be outstanding. But the truth is that I only became thesame guy except that I had more information (this is when I realised that more information is not knowledge).
The highest I could do was to apply what I learned on social networks esp. Fb & Whatsapp . Truth b told, I seriously got into trouble like some girls calling me and warning me not to talk to them like that, some were rude and in some cases I went into some problems I can't mention here. But despite this, a few worked which made me so scared to go n practice it on people physically.

I tried my best to Improve it seems I am getting worst, until one day I realised that I had a mentality that has been limiting me. I had many things in my mind that limits me when it comes to Women.

A few of them are :

# I believed that I can not get the girls I want.

# I was afraid to apply what I learned because I thought ladies my slap me.

# I was shy, not confident around them.

# After I read the books above, I thought I had to be rude to ladies for them to like me.

# I don't believe that someone like me will be successful with ladies.

# I had approach anxiety

# I care about what other people think.

# I