We should forget about this issue that she is a child.

I know a girl some years back at the age of 20 as an undergraduate the mother and her mother's Pastor insisted that she must marry a Man that came from Germany. This man that came from germany is a borther to her mother's friend's husband. She refused. Mind you the mother is a widow. Her father died when she was 7 years old and they are four girls and the father family refused to offer the mother any assistance since her husband died. Infact they took all the man's property, since all his children are girls.

The girl in question is the first among her sibbling. She insisted, she would not marry the man. The man even gave the mother a Mercedes 200 car. Every body around kept blaming her that she does not want her mother's sufferering to end; and so on. The mother and some of the mother's friend went as far as bring a prophetess to tell her that her future and her well being depends on marrying this guy Germany.

When she still insisted the mother vowed never to pay her school fees again from her petty trading. Every body in her neighbourhood saw her as wicked girl since this guy from germany appears to be rich and has given the mother a car with a driver. When the pressure became too much she ran away from home to stay temporily with a friend somewhere in Orile in Lagos.


Finally she lost a year in school, because there was no support for her to go back to school. Meanwhile before this incidence she was dating a guy that was doing his NYSC programme when all these was happening. When this guy finished his NYSC he got a job after some months and he now financed this girls education. The guy from germany latter took back the car he gave to the mother.

Today they have been married for 8 years with three children.

The point I want to make is that parental pressure is not enough for some of the decisions and things we do especicially as it relates to marriege.

Those mentioning he should go for medical solution, should know that this guy is a lecturer meaning he is educated. Do you think he has not tried everything possible both medically and traditionally? Most times this things happen to poor girls from the rural communities with limited options. Somebody was mentioning a diploma you think it is easy, like in Europe and the US. There are people who are willing and want to learn welding, carpentry, mechanic, driving, fashion designing (some have the knowledge but no money to buy just one sewing machine to start on their own), etc, but don't have a sponsor to pay just =N=5,000.00 This is the situation on ground in 9ja.

as otukpo said "I pity the poor girl, she is in a very bad situation." i really pity her.

R.Biafra:

HOW CAN MAN NOT TO GET ERECTION?

IF IT'S FOR THE CHILDREN BEARING ISSUE, I DON'T THINK THAT MARRIAGE SHOULD BE BASE ON CHILD BEARING, OTHERWISE IT'S BETTER FOR ME TO GET LADY, WE ENTER INTO CONTRACT, I PAY HER AND IMPREGNATE HER TO GET KID FOR ME INSTEAD. THAT MUST BE AFTER WE'VE GONE FOR HIV TEXT!

Mr. Biafra
First, you said "how can man not get erection" Don't you know that you can loose the power to jack that thing up in the event of some ailment, accident or sumthin'? and then you said HIV TEXT!
You've got to be kiddin me.

Very sad for the girl. Some girls are in the same situation and there is no way out for them, because may be, the man is the breadwinner for the girl's family.

for better for worsee,

Has she ever heard of God before? Let her try Him now. Even if the man traded for prosperity - which he obvisusly didnt get - God is able to redeem from the uttermost. Go try am.

Can't the parent work to make ends meet? most they depend on thier daughter's husband? since she did not love the old man in the first place, better for her to seek for divorce, then she shld look for a young guy she loves to marry not minding whatever her parent action would be, or better stead, go back to school and make good  of her life.

Spyker:

Your parents forced you to marriage, your husband accented to adultery. Now you want us to advise you to leave him. Do you ever take a decision of your own?

Good!! Does she have a decision of her own?
Let her sit down there and be crying for the help that is in her hands.

ladi02:

where do u want her to run to an 18yr old girl! hw will she survive on her own?

this is one of the effects of poverty, @poster, what i feel is she should find another church and tell the pastor they might be able to find a home for her, i'm sure she will never forgive her parents once she gets out of this

may God Help her!

Ladi02, Since she confide on me of her situation by the grace of God I am trying to see what to do for her. However, you said she should find another church or pastor to find a home for her. How are you sure that the same answer from the first pastor will not surface. In fact, when she told about the first pastor position I was surprise, in the first place this is a marriage that was based on lies and greed and you are bringing God into it. It doesn't make any sense at all. so i think the issue of seeing another pastor should not arise at all. Anyway thanks for your candid advice and also all forumites that give their advice too.

wish you all the best

Note: Because of this experience i am looking at coming out with a book that will address the dilemma of the girl-child even to their adulthood. it would be a hand book for young ladies and even parents that want to bring up their daughter in a proper way.

What nonsense!!!

So things like this still happen in this era. No matter what, parents shouldn't force their children to marry against their wish. Just like this one in question, when the child starts facing hell in the so called marriage they won't be there.

@poster please advise your friend to open up to the parents and know what their reaction would be and if it's not favourable, she should quit the marriage and find her way.

Hell!

marriage is not a do or die affair, marriage this days is something else,

may GOD help us and may we also help our self,

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN

our yound ladies are forgetting what marriage is all about.Marriage is for better for worst, why re our ladies complaining anytime things is not working as they plan in marriage.i belive the so call girl liked the man in the first place not necessarily because the parents said she shld marry the man.Let her remain in marriage.
If all was well wld she hv complained.Sex is not all that is in marraige.wetin

Adoption of child is allow

What are you still doing in that marriage? Do you want to go to hell? Quit that marriage. Were you aware that the man couldn't perform. If yes, you have no choice but to remain or quit and remain unmarried. If No, then quit. The marriage wasn't contrcted in utmost good faith. Forget about your parents. Will they be in hell with you.

Suckers!!! i saw this in a nollywood movie sometime ago, i cant believe people are really responding to this joker!

hauler:

Suckers!!! i saw this in a nollywood movie sometime ago, i cant believe people are really responding to this joker!

LMFAO!!!

This girl has two issues to contend with
one the parents suffers from poverty of the mind which is worst than poverty itself,they have mortgaged the girls future for petty cash,meanwhile does the girl know that AIDS is real.

2)She has lost the ability to stand her ground which would probably be caused by the fact that such a lady i doubt if she is educated as there are so many women development centers she could seek help from.

The decision is hers to make.

As if she is still afraid of the parents at this age and time to say what is write for her,then there is problem its easy to get someone to marry after one than after two.
A word is enough for the wise.

She should look for hope elsewhere. thats all i have to say. Am out.

Well if this story is true, then she's no longer an 18yr old. THAT'S ONE MATURE AND Frakin DUMB BI*CH. period!

VERY SAD STORY.IF I WAS IN HER SHOES I WILL ASK MY SO CALLED HUSBAND FOR MONEY(LIE THAT ITS FOR SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT),THEN RUN AWAY.

Hello everybody, I really appreciate every body contribution to this pitiable situation that my sister found herself. However, your contributions and your candid advice have actually help in near to solving the problem. but if there is anyone who still want to say some thing for the public to learn from, Pls feel free to do that, we are all learning on daily basis.

Thanks once again and God bless.

I'm sure that she is now older after having kids so she is no longer 18. The deed had been done and I'm of the opinion that she should live by it, don't have more kids and keep her mouth shut.

1st she agreed with her parents to marry the man, then she agreed with her husband to have the kids by whichever method these she wouldn't have done and since she has, she should learn to live by them.

Quiting at this stage is dangerous, as the man will go to any length to save his face from shame and exposure (keeping the secrets) and her parents will not stand by her for their selfish reasons so all she can do now is play on and be alive.