Hello All. There is this girl I met over a year ago. Actually she came to me when I first arrived here and attempted to be friendly. But I was not really not into the whole friendship thing so I was quiet with her and other people that tried to be friendly with me. Later we became closer as I always asked her questions about personal things like sex, family etc. Some months later I was already telling her that her liked her- although I added, as I have done with every girl I have told "I like You," that I did not want to date her. By this time she already had a boyfriend and I was sure I did not want a girlfriend. Since then we have become good friends (or at least, that’s what I think), but the problem is I seem to be the one carrying the friendship alone. On her last birthday, I gave her a pair of shoes and a book, and on my birthday, she gave me a saucer full of brownies. I am always the one that approaches her for discussion or anything like that. I guess that is because we really do not have too much in common. For almost a month now, she has not called me and I refused to call her because I do not want to continue the trend of being the one to show her attention. Very soon it will be her birthday, and I am wondering whether or not to get her a gift. I initially planned to get her a nice dress and a cake but then I think she is an emotional liability as a friend. It is almost like she is taking me to be her maga. In think I am being unrealistic and unfair to her. “If I like her more than she likes me, it is not her fault,” I sometimes tell myself. What should I do?

Can we shoot, destroy and bury the word "Maga" in 2010? I am tired of hearing this nonsense word

I think you need to seat the girl down and talk to her.

Ebonyeyes:

Can we shoot, destroy and bury the word "Maga" in 2010? I am tired of hearing this nonsense word

I think you need to seat the girl down and talk to her.

Dat is true talk

Ok, no more use of the word maga.

But what would I say to her?

Say you are not happy with her commitment to the relationship etc,

Ebonyeyes:

Say you are not happy with her commitment to the relationship etc,

What relationship? They were never into any committed relationship.

VPersie:

Hello All. There is this girl I met over a year ago. Actually she came to me when I first arrived here and attempted to be friendly. But I was not really not into the whole friendship thing so I was quiet with her and other people that tried to be friendly with me. Later we became closer as I always asked her questions about personal things like sex, family etc. Some months later I was already telling her that her liked her- although I added, as I have done with every girl I have told[b] "I like You[/b]," that I did not want to date her. By this time she already had a boyfriend and I was sure I did not want a girlfriend. Since then we have become good friends (or at least, that’s what I think), but the problem is I seem to be the one carrying the friendship alone. On her last birthday, I gave her a pair of shoes and a book, and on my birthday, she gave me a saucer full of brownies. I am always the one that approaches her for discussion or anything like that. I guess that is because we really do not have too much in common. For almost a month now, she has not called me and I refused to call her because I do not want to continue the trend of being the one to show her attention. Very soon it will be her birthday, and I am wondering whether or not to get her a gift. I initially planned to get her a nice dress and a cake but then I think she is an emotional liability as a friend. It is almost like she is taking me to be her maga. In think I am being unrealistic and unfair to her. “If I like her more than she likes me, it is not her fault,” I sometimes tell myself. What should I do?

Poster, figure it out

@poster
so are you saying that you are this worried just because of FRIENDSHIP?!
you said it yourself that you guys have nothing in common then i am wondering what you are drumming for?

as you probably already know, friendship goes both ways so if she doesnt have the time to stay in contact with you (her supposedly friend) then re-evaluate this so called friendship.

some women will see a man like you as a waste of time and liability because you've already told her that you want nothing else than friendship from her and, hanging out with you might drive all other prospective Don Juan away thinking that you are her man.

whats important when receiving a gift is the THOUGHT and GIVING part not what was given. everyone has different pocket sizes and give according to their means.

ps: as for her coming bday, do not buy anything. people should D E S E R V E gifts.

I appreciate all the advice. Its just like on her list of friends I am like number 100 and on my list of friends, she is like number 10. That is the cause of the tension. More input will be appreciated before I make a decision.

VPersie:

I appreciate all the advice. Its just like on her list of friends I am like number 100 and on my list of friends, she is like number 10. That is the cause of the tension. More input will be appreciated before I make a decision.

if you are that far on her ranking then i suggest you forget about whatever friendship you are seeking with this belle.
just because YOU like her shouldnt be the reason in expecting to be higher in her ranking.

if the "vibe/chemistry" isnt there then its just NOT THERE. accept it.

Yeah, MrBrownJay, I guess I must face my reality now.

VPersie:

Yeah, MrBrownJay, I guess I must face my reality now.

now you know ,your are just a casual friend so what do you expect from her.

Maga don pay, shout HALLELUJAH.

^^

so much for yahooo-yahooo boys

It,s a matter of choice.no one forced u to buy the gifts,u did dat becos u cared.I believe  friendship should be genuine.bt if u think she,s taking advantage of u den 4get bout her,u can call n wish her a happy bday.

Poster is lonely and needs some affection. Get a life dude.

Hey, u correct. I am lonely and need attention and affection.

That is exactly why I am mad at her for wasting my emotional energy.

BUt the solution is not, "get a life"

I think u need a life.

^Lolz stop getting so attached 2 her your "friends" remember and she has a boyfriend get it?and u probably did throw her of with d "i only want friendship" comment dunno. . .i think your even thinking about her 2 much try make other friends and do other things 4get her as per d b-day gift u don't need 2 buy her anything if u don't want 2 u give gifts because u mean 2 or because your tryna express something 2 some1 not because u feel pressured 2 or because of some sort of relationship it should be from d heart out of your own free will. . .u ain't a "Maga" only if u think u r it's not like your showering her wid money & luxuries it was just one birthday anyhow dat's all i can say 4 now brotha!

VPersie:

Hello All. There is this girl I met over a year ago. Actually she came to me when I first arrived here and attempted to be friendly. But I was not really not into the whole friendship thing so I was quiet with her and other people that tried to be friendly with me. Later we became closer as I always asked her questions about personal things like sex, family etc. Some months later I was already telling her that her liked her- although I added, as I have done with every girl I have told "I like You," that I did not want to date her. By this time she already had a boyfriend and I was sure I did not want a girlfriend. Since then we have become good friends (or at least, that’s what I think), but the problem is I seem to be the one carrying the friendship alone. On her last birthday, I gave her a pair of shoes and a book, and on my birthday, she gave me a saucer full of brownies. I am always the one that approaches her for discussion or anything like that. I guess that is because we really do not have too much in common. For almost a month now, she has not called me and I refused to call her because I do not want to continue the trend of being the one to show her attention. Very soon it will be her birthday, and I am wondering whether or not to get her a gift. I initially planned to get her a nice dress and a cake but then I think she is an emotional liability as a friend. It is almost like she is taking me to be her maga. In think I am being unrealistic and unfair to her. “If I like her more than she likes me, it is not her fault,” I sometimes tell myself.  What should I do?

First of all, you've already hinted to her that you don't want anything serious in your "friendship".She obviously isn't putting any stress into the relationship coz she understands that NOTHING can come out of it. So what are you complaining about? When i say the headline, i thought it was another victim of a gold digger but obviously, she's not making any demands from you so wetin be your own sef? If you like her and want to date her, THEN LET HER KNOW.If you're not interested in her, then let her be and back the phuck off!

This is why I've said it times without number on nairaland that A MAN AND WOMAN CAN NEVER BE FRIENDS! Something has to give at some point. Any single mature lady isn't looking for a male friend unless she wants to deceive herself.She might have a lover boy somewhere and have a few stooges on the side as back up.

Nuff said!

as far as i am concerned she is not takin u as her maga but u are d one donating surplus,displaying,turning urself into santacruz.wen u made it clear that u dont want any oda thing aside friendship so wot is ur stress?u are d one putting urslf unter tension.so get serious.

gbam

[size=16pt]@POSTER,
BE WISE[/size]

who born the maga??

@poster
u need 2b played to qualify to b a maga, u r just a dumbass slowpoke expectin a chic to open up by buyin her gifts.

no idea what the prob is

lemme read again