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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? (18312 Views)
Poll: Should women always obey their husbands?Yes: 60% (51 votes)No: 40% (34 votes) This poll has ended |
Women Must Be Submissive In A R/ship? Ladies Your Say? / Women Should Be Submissive With Their Husbands / The Kind Of Guy That Women Find Attractive? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by sleekymag(m): 6:15pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
michelin89: Yeah, but experience has apart to play in decision-making, even if the woman was experienced/older. Bottomline is that the man should have the final say, after analysing your opinion. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by Nobody: 6:16pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
thebaron: Your post is spot on but i must use it to bring out a point. The instructions in Eph 5 are not a two-way street as some have suggested . . . i.e. my husband must love me first before i submit or vice versa. The husband is COMMANDED to love his wife whether she submits or not and likewise the woman. What this boils down to for me is simple - take absolute time and care to prayerfully let God help you choose your mate. One that is on the same page spiritually and emotionally as you. One that will have no problem obeying Eph 5 with you. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by Nobody: 6:17pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
sleekymag: I am not going into a relationship to give up the final say when it comes to myself. Am I wrong to say so? |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by Nobody: 6:18pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
michelin89: you're either not ready for marriage anytime soon or u're simply content with being a single mom. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by Nobody: 6:21pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
sleekymag: This is just a human character problem that can exist in both male and female. Someone who doesn't listen to advice would rarely get along with people. And that's really not as a result of being independent but a character problem. I would not stay with a man who cannot listen to my advice either. Being submissive does not mean it's only the man that can supply suggestions in the marriage. You are both adults, and you can have debates without the usual uproar of I'm the boss. Only a mannerless man or woman will not be able to have discussions without being rational. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by eldee(m): 6:22pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
sleekymag: No one will listen to you if you give reasons like 'I know better than you' It becomes a competition of how much knowledge each party possesses. It's so much easier to obey the bible and 'treat your wife as a weaker vessel'. Not 'treat your wife as you would your 12-year old kid'. The same Bible says love your wife . . . and then goes on to define love. It goes on to say love is selfless, not rude, persevering, slow to wrath, among other things. At the end of the day, the Bible expects even more from men that it does the women. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by Nobody: 6:24pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
eldee: GBAM GBAM GBAM GBAM GBAM. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by Nobody: 6:24pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
davidylan: You sef. Are you ready? Make man pikin hear word jare. As for me when I see my partner doing something silly, because even the smartest of all men fail sometimes, I won't give him the final say because he is the man. I am not ready to suffer for the carelessness of someone else. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by Nobody: 6:25pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
michelin89: In a real relationship you forget about "self". |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by Nobody: 6:27pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
stillwater: My sister, I have been there so I know what you are talking about. This is the only time I can talk rationally, so make I reason while I can. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by CarlosVent(m): 6:27pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
women submit , submit and submit thats the command of God |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by Nobody: 6:30pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
eldee: FACT! |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by SisiKill1: 6:30pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
@ thebaron Well said. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by sleekymag(m): 6:31pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
davidylan: Spot on, Whether we like it or yes, a man is the head, He could be understanding or not choose to be, he's still the head. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by Nobody: 6:34pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
sleekymag: Now this is something I don't want to read. You are not in any position to choose. YOU MUST LOVE YOUR WIFE. It is not your perogative. It is your goddamn duty so do it and stop complaining your wife is not submissive. If you feel you can choose to be caring or not, why can't I choose to live my relationship like I were single? |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by sleekymag(m): 6:37pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
A little secret for women: Know how to praise your man; even if he's not all that, Know what to do to make his head swell. He'll love you even more. Make him know how much you respect and adore him, and he'll be under your armpit I'm not trying to be spiritual here, butits the same with God; when we praise Him, he moves on our behalf. You offer him praise etc, and he'll give you an open cheque. Not am not saying you shouldn't say things as they are, or berate him when he does soemthing wrong, but going by the secrets of women that have had blissful marriages, that's one secret that always works for them. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by sleekymag(m): 6:40pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
michelin89: Who wouldn't want to love his wife? Of course any right thinking man that married his wife loves her, It makes it easy for him to express it, when she caresses his ego, rather than be nonchalant about it. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by Nobody: 6:42pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
sleekymag: Then you MUST be understanding. God didn't give you a choice in the Bible. He said do it and you MUST obey. [size=5pt]How I love using the scriptures. So fun!!!!!!!![/size] |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by sleekymag(m): 6:46pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
michelin89: Agreed. There are some men that are to eager to spoil their wives and love them.They are wary of letting it get into their heads such that they start misbehaving, So really it's a two-way thing! Remember what proverbs says about the contentious woman? Am not sure it says anything about the man whodoesn't love his wife enough. Truth is men love their wives ALWAYS, but its the expression of that love that i'm talking about. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by eldee(m): 6:47pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
sleekymag: This one works both ways too. Proverbs 31: 23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. Proverbs 31: 31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. This is saying the man doesn't just tell her how good she is, he goes out to the other elders and praises his wife. That's why you see the noblest of authors dedicating their works to their wife. . . that's letting everyone know who's the woman putting you up there. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by sleekymag(m): 6:52pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
eldee: That's different from what happens every day inside the home. We have seen couples making a front to outsiders but what's happening in their home is a different ball game entirely. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by thebaron(m): 6:56pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
A little suggestion for the men. You MUST Love your wife no matter what she does because you have already married her. Your loving your is not based on her submission. So I want to advice the guys please shine your eye before you marry o. A suggestion for the woman, You MUST submit to your husband. It is not based on his loving you. You already agreed to marry him so you MUST submit. So before you agree to marry that good looking loaded guy be sure he is the kind of man you will want to submit to. The moment you say I do, then you must DO. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by bawomolo(m): 8:27pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
I am not going into a relationship to give up the final say when it comes to myself. Am I wrong to say so? i thought marriage was supposed to be a union. you seem to be taking your feminism to feminazi levels. Spot on, Whether we like it or yes, a man is the head, He could be understanding or not choose to be, he's still the head. the man being the head of an household is nothing but a social construct. Gender roles aren't rigid and women seems to be taking leadership roles these days. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by Onwan: 9:12pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
That should not be a problem. Usually men find better women out there once their wives start doing that "equal" thing. And of course its always sweet to dump those and get on with a new one, so, ladies dont obey your husbands - it help them find the new and better - and kick your old, used asses to the curb |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by N101: 9:17pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
I laugh in Japanese - whenever I hear that "Westernisation" is to blame for Nigerian marriages or society's ills I have to laugh. How is this "Westernisation" quantified? About 100+ years ago, women in the so-called "Western" world didn't enjoy this "Westernisation" that some of you speak of. Where was "Westernisation" when women were seen as a man's property? Or when a man was allowed to beat his wife and pretty much get away with it? What about not allowing women a basic education? Or women dying in childbirth with little medical help? How about when a woman couldn't work without her husband's permission? Or couldn't vote? It was only in the past hundred plus years that life for the "Western" woman began to change. They could vote. They could work. They could get an education. Please don't insult my intelligence by using "Westernisation" as some kind of measure by which Nigerian women are judged. Speaking of which - @ poster, go back and read the entire thing and come with a sensible argument. One (wife submitting) cannot exist independently of the other (husband loving). By the way, your poll is incorrect; it is about submission, not obedience. In the Scriptural context, obedience is between master-slave, parent-child and ruler-subject, NOT husband and wife. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by Kayus99(m): 9:39pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
I love my wife no matter what she does - submit or no submit. Although I would prefer she is submissive; but hey if she does not submit today, tomorrow is another day, and that is love. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by H2O2: 9:52pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
love is non-negotiable. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by SeanT21(f): 9:58pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
Look @ these men quoting scriptures to justify their selfishness. Most African men always want their women to become slaves to them. "Don't question what I do, just do what i say", should be tattooed on their heads. @topic, HECK NO wife must not always submit( yield or surrender) to their husbands. |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by Rosabelle(f): 10:02pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
As far as I know sha, if as a woman I chrish and respect my husband, then friction wont occur very often (though its bound to happen and its healthy). But this you people's 'submission' of a word. . . . hm . . . e get as e be oh, cos as far as I know, I should only submit to my Creator. And dont bring the Bible into this please, because the original language of the Bible is Hebrew, and then translated into Latin or whatever, before english. So only goodness knows what word EXACTLY is meant to be there. And so this word 'submission'. . . . hm . . . e get as e be oh. If you as a man set out wanting your wife to 'submit' to you, you'd either get a) A 'submissive' but coniving cheating woman, or b) A trouble maker. If your woman respects you as she loves you, then you have all the 'submission' one human being can ask from the other. But that wont mean she cant think for herself anylonger or argue with you. A man being the 'head' is not overruling. As many wars and unhappiness in the world today have proven, men arent always right. So thank The Lord if you find a woman (not a trouble maker) who challenges you to be the best man you can be by not being 'submissive'! Oya, let the abuses reign! ! ! |
Re: Why Do Women Find It Hard To Be Submissive In Relationships? by omomakun: 10:15pm On Jan 14, 2010 |
Technically yes women should obey their husbands. That's why you should pray to God to have a wise husband in the first place so that he doesn't lead you the wrong way, |
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