Heart To Heart - Chapter One

Changes Come Too Quickly

Changes come when you least expect them. Changes come when you’re least ready. Changes come too quickly. We’re never prepared. Never expecting. And rarely do we even want things to change.

My mother used to tell me that when something changes to quickly and it scares you the first thing you do is take a deep breath and calm yourself down. Don’t tell her but that’s not what I did.

“Char?” Leo asks, “something wrong?”

I shake my head, still staring into the ballroom. “No, just watching Ruby and Liam make fools of themselves.” I say, and it’s not entirely a lie. Sure, I hadn’t been watching them but they were making fools of themselves.

“Way to ruin the moment, Char.” Leo jokes, and I force a smile. What is happening? What is happening? What is happening?

“You know me,” I smile. “Ruiner of all things momentary.” Leo laughs and takes my hand.

“Come on, lets go back inside.” He says.

What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?

So this is what the world looks like to other people. I’m so used to the strings that seeing a room without them is so strange. I’m used to knowing who’s meant to be with who. I’m used to the almost transparent threads crisscrossing the world.

Why did the strings break? Why did they just break? How? The only reasonable—and I use the term loosely, considering that nothing here is reasonable in the slightest sense—idea I have is that they disappeared after I told Leo I loved him too. Could that have done it? Maybe because it’s different now? Does this mean I’m no longer “meant to be” with August? Or does it mean that I just can’t see the strings anymore because I love Leo?

“I’ll be right back.” I say, giving Leo a quick kiss on the cheek. Ruby tries to wave me over as I walk by but I grab her hand and start pulling. I have a brief memory of the Halloween dance, this is pretty similar, and I think Ruby knows something is wrong.

“Charlotte, are you okay?” She asks.

I say nothing, continuing to pull her through the crowd. It’s warm outside, despite almost being Christmas. I turn the corner around the building and stop, turning to face Ruby.

“The last time you did this you told me that you could see strings connecting soul mates.” Ruby remarks.

“And this time I’m telling you I can’t.” I say.

“What?” She asks, her dark eyes quickly filling with confusion.

“The strings broke.” I say, “I can’t see them anymore. I’m kinda freaking out, Ruby.” I say, although my voice is oddly steady, it wasn’t when I told her about the strings, I was everything I’m not now, I was almost frantic, now I’m calm, I was kinda scared, no wait, I’m still scared.

“Do you know why?” Ruby asks, sitting down and pulling me with her. I can’t imagine what I would do without her. I mean here she is sitting on damp grass getting her beautiful dress messy and wet but she doesn’t seem to care in the slightest. I have amazing friends, I’ll be okay, I’ll be okay.

I shake my head. “Not really, I mean I have an idea but I don’t know.”

“Okay, take a breath and we’ll start from the beginning.” She says, and I do.

“What happened just before the strings broke?” She asks.

“I told Leo I loved him too.” I say.

“That could be it, Char,” Ruby says. “Maybe the world is mad at you for not going with your destiny.”

“This might be the weirdest conversation I’ve ever had in my life.” I say, solemnly and Ruby smiles.

“And I suppose you have a better theory?” She challenges, smiling.

“Touché.” I laugh.

“We’ll figure this out, Char. We, okay? Not you, we, you don’t have to do this alone.” She says, putting a hand on my shoulder.

“Thanks, Ruby.” I say.

“Anytime, Char.” She says.

“One thing, though.” I say, and she nods. “Please don’t tell Leo.”

“Are you sure?” She asks, giving me a questioning look. “Remember where these secrets have gotten you.” She points out.

“I’ll tell him, I just want it to be me.” I say. “And besides, nows not a good time, it’s the wedding, I want to have fun tonight.”

“Okay,” Ruby nods, “just make sure you tell him soon.” She says.
“I will, don’t worry Ruby.”

“There will never be a day when I don’t worry about you.” Ruby says, “you’re a walking disaster.” She giggles, and I laugh.

TO BE CONTINUE...

Click Here For Chapter Two @ www.afrimedia.cf/2017/05/heart-to-heart-chapter-two.html

Heart To Heart - Chapter Two


Click Here If You Miss CHAPTER ONE @ http://www.afrimedia.cf/2017/05/heart-to-heart-chapter-one.html

Chapter 2

{I Think it’s Called Falling for Someone}

I kick off my shoes and collapse onto my bed, letting out a heavy sigh. I still can’t get used to this world. It’s . . . It’s not like anything I’ve ever known. The absence of the strings makes the world seem different. Clearer in a way.

It’s unsettling. I never realized how much I rely on the strings to tell me things. Even the smallest things. I’m so used to knowing. To having that little extra bit of information.

My phone buzzes and I pick it up.

Hey, you were acting weird at the reception, I didn’t freak you out did it? It’s Leo.

I take a breath and steal my nerves. Secrets have never gotten me anywhere. No where good anyways.

No, I’m not freaked, but we need to talk. I reply.

Tomorrow?

Yeah, see you then.

I drop my phone onto my blanket and fall back onto my bed. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
I never used to think that words were so difficult. How can simple syllables be so hard to say? How can letters be so hard to pronounce. How can simple words, just words, be so difficult to say aloud.
I can think them. I can think all the things I cannot seem to say. What if this means I’m free. What if this is just because I love Leo. What if, what if, what if. Easy to think, seemingly not so easy to speak.

How am I going to explain this? Why is this so hard to explain? Isn’t this a good thing? I mean I’ve hated the strings my entire life. No, it’s not the strings disappearance that I’m worried about, it’s why. No matter what I’m never going to know for sure why the strings disappeared. I can have a thousand theories but I’ll never have any absolutes.

I pick up my phone again and dial Ruby.

“Hello?” A voice asks, but not Ruby’s.

“Liam?” I ask.

“Yeah, sorry, Ruby left her phone in my car, I called here mom but she said she’s already asleep. You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I say.

“You’re a pretty bad liar.” Liam says.

I laugh, “yeah, I know.” Then I sigh, “I take it Ruby didn’t tell you.”

“Seeing as I have no idea what you’re talking about I’d go with yes.” Liam responds.

“I can’t see the strings any more.” I confess, and it feels nice to tell someone. I shiver, I should tell August, right? There are a lot of things I should tell him. I shake my head to clear it, now’s not the time to worry about this.

“Wait what?” Liam asks, and I laugh. “Seriously, char, that’s crazy.” He says, “I take it you don’t know why.” He says.

“Yeah, I guess I never will.” I say.

“You need like a guide book for this stuff.” He jokes.

“Well I’m pretty sure if I went to a library and asked for one I’d be deemed crazy.” I point out.

“True, true,” Liam says in agreement. “So do you have any theories?” I sigh, “You don’t have to tell me.” Liam says, quickly.

“No, it’s fine,” I say, “the strings broke after I told Leo I loved him.”

“Well as far as theories go that’s a pretty good one,” Liam says.

“It’s the best I’ve got.” I say, staring up at the blank ceiling of my room at my dad and Riley’s.
“Is it weird?” Liam asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Seeing the world without the strings? I mean you have to be used to them, you’ve had them your whole life, I just figured it’d be weird, not seeing them.” Liam elaborates.

“Yeah, it’s weird alright. I mean the strings are weird to start with but not seeing them is even weirder some how.” I explain.

“Makes sense, sort of.” Liam says.

“Remember when you first found out about the strings?” I ask, getting up from my bed.

“Yeah,” Liam says.

“Why’d you freak out so much?” I ask.

“Did I explain there? Are you really gonna make me say it out loud again? I’m still constantly reliving the stupid stuff I said at the party.” Liam says, and I laugh.

“Honestly the only thing I really remember from that night is the accident.” I say.

“Yeah . . . ,” Liam agrees, “I freaked out because I was worried Ruby and I wouldn’t last, it was nice knowing that we were supposed to have a really good shot at the very least. Does that make sense?” He asks.

“Yeah,” I say, nodding despite the fact that I know he can’t see me. “It makes a lot of sense.”

“I just really like her, it’s nice knowing that, well honestly I don’t really know how to put it into words.” He says, trailing off.

“It’s alright, I know what you mean, it happens to everyone.” I say.

“Yeah,” Liam agrees, “I think it’s called falling for someone.”

“Why can’t anything ever be easy?” I sigh.

“Because then it would be no fun.” Liam replies, simply.

“Do you own a dictionary?” I ask.

“Yeah, I have one on my desk.” He says.

“Okay go get it.” I say.

“Give me a second.” He says, I hear some shuffling, something makes a loud thunk, and I hear Liam shout something. I stifle a laugh as I hear him pick the phone up again.

“Okay, I got it.” He says.

“Okay, now look up fun, I’m pretty sure you don’t know what it means.” I say, giggling.

“Are you freaking kidding me?” Liam asks. “I knocked a textbook onto my foot getting this and it was all for a joke, and a bad joke too.” He complains.

“Hey, it was funny!” I protest, grinning.

“Yeah, maybe for you, but you’re paying my medical bills if my toes are broken.” He says.

“Fair enough,” I shrug.

“Hey, I gotta go, you alright?” He asks.

“Am now, thanks.” I say.

“Okay, see you tomorrow.” He says.

“Yeah, see ya.” I agree.

I hang up and stand up. I change out of my green dress, taking care to hang it up nicely in the closet. I change into pajamas and head downstairs. My now-actual grandparents are sitting on the couch watching TV.

“Hello, Charlotte.” My grandfather says, nodding politely.

“Your mom will be back home tomorrow, we leave tomorrow as well, can you get home on your own?” My grandmother asks.

“Yeah,” I say, nodding. “Sam’s picking me up tomorrow morning.”

“Okay, best pack tonight.” She says.

I nod, and head back upstairs. So far my now-actual grandparents aren’t very welcoming. I open the door to my room and look around. I’ve spent the past few weeks here. It’s weird, when I first got her I couldn’t sleep because it was too different than my room back home, now I think I’m going to miss it.

Sure, it’s not my room back home by a long shot. But I’ve gotten used to the warm comforter on the bed. To the breeze moving the blue curtains. I even have a few pictures tapped up on the walls.

I sigh and grab my duffel back, and dejectedly, I start tossing my clothes in.

To Be Continue...

Click Here For Chapter Three @ http://www.afrimedia.cf/2017/05/heart-to-heart-chapter-three.html

Heart To Heart - Chapter Three

Click Here If Miss Chapter Two @ http://www.afrimedia.cf/2017/05/heart-to-heart-chapter-two.html

Chapter 3

{ Friends Who are Always There }

“Are you kidding me?” I say, angrily.

“Sorry, honey, he got called back to work.” My mom sighs over the phone.

“It’s okay,” I say, “I’ll just call someone.”

“You know I would come get you myself if I could, but the medication the doctor’s given me makes me too dizzy to drive.”

“It’s alright, mom, I’ll see you soon.” I say, hanging up.

I dial Leo’s number and he picks up immediately.

“Hey, Char.” He says.

“Hey, can you pick my up? Sam had to go back to work.” I say.

“Sorry, Char, I can’t, I’m behind on homework and my dad’s kinda upset about it.” Leo says, mournfully.

“It’s alright, I’ll ask Liam.” I say.

“Sorry, again.” Leo sighs.

“Really, don’t worry about it, I’ll see you later today?” I ask.

“Yeah, I’ll meet you at Loard’s Ice Cream?” He asks.

“Yeah, see you then.” I say, smiling.

I dial Liam’s number as I grab my duffel bag and start down the stairs. My grandparents are already gone and the house is oddly quiet.

“Hey, what’s up?” Liam asks.

“Sam had to go to work and I’m stranded, can you give me a ride home?” I ask.

“Yup, see you in ten.” Liam says, and I let out a sigh of relief.

“Thanks a million.”

Ten minutes later there’s a knock on the door and I stand up and answer it.

“Freak!” Ruby’s voice shouts, and I’m engulfed in a hug.

“Ruby!” I say in surprise, nearly falling back onto the tile of the foyer from the sheer force of her hug.

“Liam told be about your conversation last night and said you sounded down, friends do not let friends feel down so come on.” Ruby says, grabbing my arm and pulling me outside.

“Wait, may bag!” I protest, pointing back into the house.

“I’ve got it!” Liam says, grinning as he emerges from the house, my duffel bag in hand.

“What on earth is going on?” I ask as Ruby practically shoves me into the car.

“We’re kidnapping you.” Liam explains.

“Wait what?” I ask, laughing at their ridiculous grins.

“He said, we’re kidnapping you.” Ruby says, mocking me as if I were hard of hearing. I burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

“Your kidnapping skills could use some work.” I say.

“Please,” Liam mocks, “They’re perfect.” He says, getting into the drivers seat next to Ruby and starting the car.

“I could just get out, right now.” I point out.

Liam pushes a button and the locks click. “Child locks, good luck with that.” He laughs.
“Where are you taking me to?” I grumble, as I buckle my seat belt.

“Not sure yet, what do you think, fellow kidnapper?” Ruby asks Liam.

“Hmm,” Liam says, giving it a mock amount of serious consideration. “Gee I don’t know, I mean you’d think that a cinnamon roll would cheer someone up, but I honestly don’t know where I’d find one.”

“True, so true.” Ruby says, nodding.

I fall into another fit of laughter as we drive down the sunny street towards Bella’s Bakery.

“Welcome, to Bella’s Bakery, kidnapp-y dearest, home of the best cinnamon rolls ever.” Ruby says, opening the door and making a grand gesture towards the door to the bakery.

“You guys are completely insane.” I laugh as we walk into the bakery.

“Hi, three cinnamon rolls, please.” Ruby says to the woman behind the counter.

“Come on, our kidnapp-y, lets go find a place to sit.” Liam says, and we both sit down at a table near the back.

A few minutes later Ruby walks over with three cinnamon rolls balanced in her hands.
“Ta da.” She exclaims, sitting down and giving me one.

“You two are saints.” I say, taking a bite of my cinnamon roll.

“Please, say more.” Ruby says, laughing.


“See you later, Freak.” Ruby says, waving from the passenger seat. I wave back and sling my duffel bag over my. I run up the steps to the door and open it.

“Mom?” I call out.

“In here, sweetie!” My mom calls back from the living room.

“Hey,” I say, walking in. “How you doing?” I ask.

“Well I’m bored out of my mind, I’ve been put on bed rest, and it’s so boring.” She smiles, propping herself up on another pillow. “How about you, honey?” She asks.

“I’ve been great, the wedding was pretty awesome.” I say.

“Riley sent me a picture of you in your dress, you looked beautiful.” She says, grinning.

“So it’s not, like weird between you and dad?” I ask, seeing how easily she talks about his wedding is kinda strange.

She shakes her head, “not at all. We were both pretty bitter for the first few months but we both got over it.” She says.

“Are all break-ups like that?” I ask.

She laughs, “oh, definitely not. I remember in high school, I was dating this guy, he wasn’t the greatest so I dumped him, he didn’t talk to me for the rest of high school.” Her smile falls, “is something wrong? Like with you and Leo?”

“No, no, everything’s fine.” I say, quickly. “I’m just curious.”

“Okay, well if you need any help let me know.” She says.

I nod and leave the room. I open the door to my room, it’s kinda dusty so I open the window. I drop my duffel bag on the floor next to my desk, promising myself I’ll unpack later.

I grab my laptop and open my IM with Leo.

When are we meeting for ice cream? I ask.

An hour? He replies.

Sure, see you then.

I close my laptop and stand up, I’ve got an hour to kill. I sigh, there’s not much to do here.

“I’m heading out, mom.” I call, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

“Can you grab me a movie from the library?” She calls back from the living room.

“Anything in particular?” I ask, walking into the living room.
“Anything action.” She says, smiling.

“Okay,” I say, smiling. “I’ll be back in like two hours.”

“See you later, sweetie.” She calls after me as I exit the house.

I hop on my bike and start towards the beach. It only takes me about eight minutes to bike from my house on Chestnut street to Loard’s Ice Cream, which is on a street bordering the beach.

When I get there Leo is already waiting. He waves me over and I stop, leaning my bike against the building.

“Hey.” Leo says, smiling brightly. “So what’s up? You seemed a little freaked out last night.”

“Yeah, that’s . . . Okay, honestly I have no idea how to say this in an almost reasonable way so I’m just gonna say it.” I say.

“Okay, now I’m a little worried.” Leo says, his smile fading a bit.

“The strings broke.” I say.

“Wait what?” Leo asks, he’s smile fading completely.

“After I said I loved you too, they just broke.” I say in a bit of a rush.

Leo’s eyes dart up as if he’s thinking. “When you said you were watching Ruby and Liam, then.” He says.

“Yeah,” I say, nodding. “Sorry about that, in your words, “I freaked out”.” I say.

Leo shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it, I get it, besides you told me anyway.” He says, then he laughs a little, “we just can’t catch a break, can we?”

I smile, “doesn’t seem like it.”

“Well guess what,” Leo says.

“What?” I ask.

“At the moment, this is a very fixable issue.” He says.

“Huh?” I ask, confused.

“Ice cream fixes just everything.” He says, smiling and taking my hand.

“I bet you I could come up with a list of things that ice cream can’t fix.” I say as we start towards the door to the building.

Leo sighs, “stubborn much?”

“You should know this by now.” I say, grinning.

He shrugs, “fair enough, I eagerly await your list.”

To Be Continue...

Click Here For Chapter Four @ http://www.afrimedia.cf/2017/05/heart-to-heart-chapter-four.html

Heart to Heart - Chapter Four

Click Here If You Miss Chapter 3 @ http://www.afrimedia.cf/2017/05/heart-to-heart-chapter-three.html

Chapter 4

{Sixteen Candles}

“I got a bunch of action movies, I’ve never heard of half of them but whatever.” I call as I open the door.

“In here, Charlotte!” My mom calls from the living room. I walk in and find my mom lying on the couch and Sam sitting in an arm chair beside the couch.

“We’re thinking up baby names.” Sam says, gesturing to the books stacked on the coffee table.

“I can suggest names?” I ask.

“Of course!” My mom says, gesturing me over. I grab a book from the coffee table and settle down in an armchair.

“How about Lainey?” I ask.

Sam shakes his head, “I don’t know if you remember her but you have a great aunt named Lainey.”

He says.

“I don’t, is that a bad thing?” I ask, confused.

Sam laughs, “not really, but we’d never hear the end of it. She’d be here constantly, chatting with her ‘name sake’.”

I smile and giggle a little bit. “Okay, how about Harmony?”

“I like that one.” Sam says and my mom nods, writing it down on a piece of paper she’s ripped out of her notebook.

“Samantha?” I ask, then I shake my head, “wait, Sam, Samantha, never mind,” I laugh.

“Actually, I quite like that, we could have two Sams in the house.” Sam says, nodding.

My mother shakes her head, “you’re ridiculous.” She laughs.

My phone beeps and I pull it out.

Oh my gosh, Char, it like only just hit me! The strings are gone! I bust out laughing, it’s Leo.

Yeah, they are. I reply.

I’m such an idiot. Leo says.

True, talk to you later, idiot.

Don’t call me that, only Ruby calls me that.

Ruby calls you lover boy. I point out.

And idiot, and freak, and stupid . . . Ruby calls me a lot of things. He replies, and I laughs.

Speaking of Ruby, her birthday party is tomorrow, did you get the cake?
Didn’t have time, Liam’s got it. He replies. I gotta go, dad wasn’t happy that I left homework for ice cream earlier, I’ve still got science and math to do.

Bye.

“What’s so funny?” My mom asks.

“Oh, just Leo being an idiot.” I say.

She and Sam smile, “you two are so sweet.” She says, then she looks at Sam.

“Uh yes, very adorable.” Same says, nodding in agreement.

“Okay, and I’m definitely not changing the subject here but how about Laurel?” I ask.

“I like that one too.” My mom says, smiling.

“How about Luce.” Same suggests.
“I like that one.” I say, smiling.

I flip the page of the baby names book and read through the names.

“How about Penny Jane?” I ask.
“I like that too.” My mom says.

“I’m gonna start dinner,” Sam says, standing up. “And I like that name too.”

I depart up the stairs and into my room.

I lie down on my bed and dial Leo.

“I know, I know you have homework, speaking of which, it’s winter break why do you have homework, and what do I need to get for Ruby’s not-so-surprise party?” I say when he answers.

“Okay, one: I have homework because I have quite a few things that I never finished before break and now I have to finish it now. And two: decorations, your present to her, plates, forks, that kind of stuff, and double check all the RSVPs.”

“Okay, thanks.” I say.

“I’m going back to homework now.” Leo says.

“Yeah, do that.” I smile.

“Bye, Char, see you tomorrow.” Leo says.

“See you.” I say.

I hang up and write down the things I need to get.

I start down stairs, calling to my mom ask I go. “Mom, I’m heading to the store to grab stuff for Ruby’s party!”
“Be back before dinner and make sure you have your phone!” She calls back.

“Got it!” I say, tying my sneakers and double checking that my phones in my pocket.

I hop on my bike and start down Chestnut Street, and towards the store. I put my bike on the rack and head into the store. I grab the plates, plastic forks and knives, cups, and various decorations. I’m out of the store in ten minutes and biking down the road.

My next stop a small craft store, kinda close to the beach. I’ve been there a few times with Ruby and once she pointed out these wooden letters you paint and hang on your wall. Most people use the to spell names and she said it was super cliche but she loved them. Unfortunately at the time she didn’t have money to buy them, so I run into the shop, grab an R, U, B, and Y and pay for them.

Then, as an afterthought I buy paint, I’m pretty sure I don’t own any, although I don’t know about Ruby I’d rather not take any chances.

“This is glow in the dark, not green, I don’t know if you meant to grab it but some people grab it by accident.” The girl at the cash register says, holding up a container of what I had thought was light green paint.

“Umm, I’ll take it anyway.” I say, smiling, if I take off the label Ruby wont know it glows in the dark, ought to give her a start when she turns off the lights.”

The lights flick on.

“Surprise!”
“Wow, I’m so surprised.” Ruby mocks, laughing.

“There’s chocolate cake, I made sure of it, stop the mockery.” Leo says.

“Fine, fine.” She says, holding up both hands in surrender.

“What do you think of your party?” I ask, walking over to Ruby who’s chatting with August.

“It’s great, even thought Leo spilled that it was a surprise ages ago.” She laughs.

“Is that what that was about earlier?” August asks, taking the cup of punch I hold out to him.

I nod, “Leo’s not very good at lying.” He says.

“Ah, why does that not surprise me.” He jokes.

“Are you two talking behind my back?” Leo asks, walking up, but he’s grinning.

“Us?” August asks, putting a hand to his chest in mock offense. “We would never.”

“Sarcasm, I like you fellow sarcastic person.” Ruby jokes and we all start laughing.

I notice Leo watching August a bit, I guess that’s to be expect. It could be worse. He could hate your guts because of something you have absolutely no control over. He’s bound to be a little weird when it comes to August, I remind myself.

“Hey, can we talk?” Leo asks, putting a hand lightly on my arm.

“Yeah,” I nod, and we break away from the group.

“So the strings are gone . . . “ He says. “It took me like an hour for it to really hit me.” He says, shaking his head in an I’m-so-ridiculous gesture.

“Yeah, they’re gone.” I say.

“Do Ruby and Liam know?” He asks.

I nod, “no offense but I told Ruby first and then Liam.” I say.

He shrugs, “can’t say I’m surprised.” He jokes.

We’re silent for a little while, just standing there, observing the party. I like that we don’t necessarily need to say anything. That was always something about us back when we were just friends. We’d spend hours on video chat no even talking, just going about our lives, studying, watching TV, it was just nice knowing that the other was there.

“Do you like not seeing the strings?” He asks, quietly.

“I haven’t decided yet.” I say. Then, as an after thought I say, “do you ever wonder what it would be like to see strings? Because I spent ages wondering what it’d be like not seeing them.”

He nods, slowly. “Yeah, a few times, I always used to imagine a string from your heart to mine.” He says, “I would try to imagine what they looked like but I never had any idea, and I never asked you for some reason or another.”

“They were kinda bluish-purplish, and really light, almost transparent really.” I say.

“I always kinda imagined them being bright and red, like in the Chinese legend, but then I realized how in the way they’d get, and I never noticed you like moving as if you were trying to see around something.” He says.

I laugh, “I’d probably have been locked up along time ago if they were like that.”

“You still wouldn’t be alone, not if I had a say in it.” He says, “we’re friends, and we always will be, no matter what, and friends don’t let friends go to psych wards alone.”
I start laughing so hard my cup of punch almost falls to the ground.

“That’s true friendship right there.” I giggle. Then, my smile falls, “we’ll always be friends right? If everything doesn’t work out and don’t get me wrong I want it to work out, but if it doesn’t, we’ll always be friends, right?”

“Of course, I can’t imagine not talking to you every day.” He says.

I love over at him, we stand side by side, close enough that we’re basically leaning on each other.

I smile, “friends no matter what.” I say.

“Until the end of time.” He says, getting the joke.

When we were nine we made a rule, we’d be friends no matter what, until the end of time. And this conversation reminded me of nine year old us shaking hands up in the tree house at Leo’s grandparents place.

“Hey! It’s time to sing to the birthday girl!” August’s voice shouts, and everyone begins to quiet down.

“You know, it’s not technically my birthday just yet,” Ruby says, “It’s not for six more days.” She says.

“You were born just after Christmas.” August remarks, as he picks up the matches and begins to light the candles.

“Yeah, which is not as cool as it sounds. It’s just an excuse for relatives to go “this is your birthday and your Christmas present”.” Ruby says, and August laughs.

“Happy sixteenth,” I say, giving Ruby a one armed hug.

To Be Continue...

Click Here For Chapter Five (5) @
http://www.afrimedia.cf/2017/05/heart-to-heart-chapter-five.html

Heart To Heart - Chapter Five

Click Here If You Miss Chapter Four (4) @ http://www.afrimedia.cf/2017/05/heart-to-heart-chapter-four.html

Chapter 5

Secrets - for the Good, or for the Bad?

“So you kinda like August, but you’re head over heels for Leo.” Ruby says, as we both sit on her bed room floor, painting the wooden letters I got her.

“Pretty much.” I say, nodding. “The thing is, I don’t want to like August, I mean don’t get me wrong he’s really nice and a great friend but I’d rather he be that . . . a friend . . . “ I say, trailing off.

“You’re like one big ‘it’s complicated’.” Ruby sighs.

“You say that like I want to be one big ‘it’s complicated’.” I say, and Ruby starts laughing so hard she drops her paintbrush in the blue paint.

“I guess I didn’t think about that.” She says, grimacing as she picks the paintbrush up from the blob of blue paint.

I laugh has she jumps up and half walks half jogs to the bathroom just next door to her room.

“What is it with you and things on your hands?” I ask, grinning.

“I just don’t like them!” She says, wiping the paintbrush off on a dish towel and cringing. “So, back to your mess of a life.”

I sigh, “thanks. Really, thanks for just calling it a mess.”

“You were thinking it.” She says, setting the wooden U to dry.

“But you’re my best friend, you’re not supposed to say it out loud.” I say, painting the B with the glow in the dark paint.

“You’re friends with me, you’re standards are too high.” She says, and I laugh and flick my paintbrush at her. She giggles and ducks away.

“Okay, enough with me, I am done talking about my problems-“

“Ignoring them wont make them go away!” She says, cutting me off.

I glare at her and continue, “in other news concerning our lives, what’s happening with you?”

“Oh you know, the usual, basically acting as your therapist/partner in crime.” She says, nonchalantly.

“To be entirely fair I don’t think we’ve ever committed a crime.” I say.

“Ah, but the night is young.” Ruby laughs.

“Don’t commit a crime, who’s going to be my therapist if you get thrown in jail?” I say with mock concern.

Ruby shrugs, “don’t worry, if I’m going to jail I’m taking you with me.”

“But what if I’m innocent?” I ask.

“Well then it sucks to be you, you’re still coming to jail with me.” She says.

My phone buzzes and I set down my text book and grab it.

Hey, I need advice on a Christmas present for Ruby. It’s Liam.

Umm, sorry, I don’t know, how about music? I reply, I’ve always had a horrible inability to figure out Christmas presents for friends and family which normally results in a last minute bought card and ten bucks taped to the inside. Maybe I’ll copy down a really cheesy poem if I have more than twenty minutes.

I’m not a good person to be asking about this, sorry. I say. *

Eh, don’t worry about it, clearly I’m not great at it either, I’ll see you later.

Yeah, see you.

“Charlotte!” My mom calls from her room. I wander in and sit down on the edge of the bed where she lies.

“I need you to do the Christmas shopping for me.” She says, holding out a list.

“Is it doable tomorrow?” I ask, “I’m tired.”

“Okay, just don’t forget to do it.” She says.

“You want company?” I ask, my gaze drifting to the rerun playing on the TV.

She smiles, “it would be appreciated.”

I slid a movie into the DVD player and onto the bed and prop myself up on pillows.

“She’s my favorite character,” I say, pointing out the blonde who’s popped up and started shooting at the bad guys. “She puts the phrase ‘dumb blondes’ to shame.”

“You always hated that, I remember once when you were little, we were in the grocery store and a woman asked if you were a princess because you had the perfect blonde hair to be one and you looked her dead in the eye and called your self Charlotte Destoryer of Worlds.”

I let out a bark of laughter. “I did that?” I ask.

She nods, “you got to her too, she gave me this look like ‘what on earth are you teaching your child’ and then you called her a ‘mortal’ and told her to flee well she could.”’

I laugh, “to be honestly I could see myself doing that now.” I say, laughing.

“I’m surprised you don’t remember doing it, you told Leo all about it.” She says.

“Really?” I ask, making a mental note to ask Leo if he remembered it.

She nods, “oh yes, for a few months you were Leo and Charlotte, Destroyer’s of Worlds.”

I laugh, “actually I think I kinda remember this, did we have an argument about who’s name should come first?” I ask.

“Yeah, big argument too, well for you two anyways. You didn’t talk for a whole day, I was getting a little worried but then you two came home together after school and all in the world was well again.”
My mom says, smiling as she recounts the memory.

“Right, I got bored not talking to him so I just agreed to let him have his name first.” I say, nodding.

“Yeah . . . “ She says, “you’ve always been like that, you know?” She only half asks. “Putting yourself before others, to the point of unhappiness. I’m always worrying that you could be sad and I wouldn’t notice because you wouldn’t say anything because you wouldn’t want to be a bother.”

“Really?” I ask, I haven’t realized she worried like this.

“Maybe I worry too much or maybe it’s justified, but for the longest time, almost all through your seventh grade year I was so worried you were upset, but I told myself that was silly because you smiled so often, you still do, but then there’s that voice in the back of my head telling me I should still worry.”

“You do worry a lot,” I say, mostly for lack of anything better to say. I do remember seventh grade year, I was pretty down from time to time, mostly because I was pretty convinced my crush was the stupidest thing ever, it seems like such a small problem now. Actually it did then too, I kept telling myself it was dumb to get sad over something like that.

She sighs, “I know I do, honey. But don’t you ever forget, you don’t have to put everyone before yourself always. Be nice, be kind, be caring. But be just the same to yourself, your happiness is just as important.”
“I know that.” I say.

She smiles, “sometimes I wonder if you really do.”

In that moment I want so much to just blurt out everything about the strings. About how I figured it out when she and dad split, about how it really sucked, about how it made the Leo ordeal a lot harder, about how I’m worried Leo and I wont last because of that, about how they’re gone now and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

I want so much to tell her. I want to blurt it out. I want to scream it at her. I want her to know, I want her to hug me and tell me we’ll figure it out. But at the same time, I don’t think I can. And I know I wont.

To Be Continue...

Click Here For Chapter Six (6) http://www.afrimedia.cf/2017/05/heart-to-heart-chapter-six.html

Heart To Heart - Chapter Six

Click Here If You Miss Chapter Five (5) @ http://www.afrimedia.cf/2017/05/heart-to-heart-chapter-five.html

Chapter 6

Addition

I open my laptop and click ‘compose email’.

Dearest idiot, I type.

I enclose with this a list of things that ice cream cannot fix. Enjoy being proved wrong.

-Deadly illnesses

-Movies that kill the dog

-Broken things (physical and not)

-Bad music

-Natural disasters

-Stubbornness

-The end of the world

-A lost pet

-The past

-The present

-The future

-Bad grades

-A bully

-Terrible food

-Shampoo in the eyes

And with this list, I prove thee wrong. -Char
I smile as I click send.

“Charlotte?” My mother calls from her bedroom.
“Yeah?” I ask, standing up and wandering into the room.

“Christmas shopping?” She asks.

I sigh, but smile, “why do we always leave it until the last minute?” I ask.

“It’s not the last minute, technically we still have five days.” She says, smiling.

“When it comes to Christmas shopping, that’s basically last minute.” I say, smiling.

“Wallet’s in my bag, Christmas present list is on my desk, and don’t get excited, I ordered your present online ages ago.” She says.

“Clever.” I say, grinning, grabbing the list on her desk and fishing through her bag and finding the wallet.

“Well you had to get it from someone.” She grins.

“Huh, always thought it was from dad,” I smile, “see you later.” I say.

“See you, and you can get lunch for yourself well you’re out if you want, just maybe bring something back for your lovely mother?” She says.

I laugh, “will do.” I say, and I’m half way out the door when she calls me back.

“Um, sweetie?” She calls.

“Huh?” I ask, turning. I smile, she’s holding up the car keys.

“Right, I might need those.” I say, nodding and dashing back in to take them.

“See you later.” She says.

“Yeah, see you.” I say.

I grab my phone and walk down the stairs.

“Hey, Charlotte?” Sam half says, half whispers from the kitchen.

“Yeah?” I ask, walking in, he’s walking around the kitchen cooking something.

“You going Christmas shopping?” He asks, and I nod.

“Can you get this book? For your mom.” He says, holding out a piece of paper with a book title and an authors name written on it in neat handwriting.

“Will do.” I say, pocketing the piece of paper.

“Thanks.” He says, and I wave as I step out the door.
I hop in my mom’s car and start it. It doesn’t take me long to get to the mall, in fact it takes me longer to find a parking spot than it took me to get there. I guess it’s kinda nice knowing my family isn’t the only one who doesn’t shop until five days before Christmas.

I wander into the mall and pull out the list of Christmas presents my mom needs. I buy an ugly vase for my grandmother, the book for my mom, and well I’m there I buy the next book in a series Liam was talking about awhile ago, for him, and then I end up buying a foul smelling candle that I know my aunt and uncle will love.

After that I wander into another bookstore, I had looked in the other one but I couldn’t find anything.

“Hi, can I help you find anything?” A cheery employee asks me. She’s tall, with strawberry blonde hair and surprisingly bright blue eyes.

“Um, do you have photo albums? One specifically for babies would be great.” I say.

“Oh yeah, this way.” She says, gesturing for me to follow her. She leads me to a small shelf with a few photo albums on display.

“Thanks.” I say.

“Oh yeah, no problem, let me know if you need any more help!” She says, cheerfully, practically skipping as she leaves.

I pick up an album with a small place to slide in a card with someones name. I buy it and proceed to buy the rest of the incredibly boring gifts for various family members. Leo used to swear I must be adopted because of how boring my family is and how wild I am. I smile at the memory as I walk through the mall.

Something catches my eye and I stop.

“Good band, hey?” The guy behind the desk says, smiling kindly.

“Yeah,” I say, picking up the album. “How much?” I ask.

“Sixteen dollars, “ the clerk says. I hand him the money and he begins to count out my change. “I saw these guys when they came here, they were amazing.”

“I did too,” I say, “with a friend, that’s why I’m getting it. That and I haven’t got any other ideas for a Christmas present for him.” I laugh.

He smiles, “well this is a pretty good one, shame with the tech difficulties at the show though, that was kinda a let down.” He says, and I nod in agreement.

I leave the mall not long after that, I even manage to find presents for Leo, Ruby, and my dad and Riley.

“I’m back.” I call into the house as I open the door. It smells like Christmas, and that’s the first thing that hits me when I walk into the kitchen, following the noise.

“Sam made apple crisp, want some?” My mom asks.
I nod and Sam grabs me a plate. I sit down next to my mom and pull out the photo album.

“It’s not Christmas yet but I want to give this to you guys early.” I say, setting it on the table in front of them as I pick up a fork and take a bite of the apple crisp.

“Charlotte.” My mother says, smiling widely. “This is great!” She says, giving me a one armed hug.

“It is.” Sam says, nodding as he flips through it.

There are a few pages meant for certain things, dates and stuff like that.

“We should figure out the name, that way we can put a card in.” My mother says, smiling.

“I’ll go get the books.” I say, hopping out of my seat and almost dashing to the living room.

I sit back down and open one of the books.

“Okay, boy names,” I say, looking down at the book.

“Myles, Collin, Nathan, Ryan.” I say.

“I like Myles,” Sam pipes up.

My mom nods, “I like it too, but I also like Collin.” She says.

“Okay, and girl names, Harmony, Meredith, Luce, Penny Jane, Skylar-Claire.” I say.

“I quite like Meredith, it was my great grandmothers name.” Sam says.

“I really like Penny Jane and Luce.” I say.

“I like those too.” My mom nods in agreement.
Sam sits down in a chair. “Myles Spencer, Collin Spencer, Meredith Spencer, Penny Jane Spencer, Luce Spencer.” He says, thoughtfully.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“Just testing them out.” He smiles.

“I still quite Myles although I’m not too sure about Myles Spencer, sounds a bit funny, and obviously that’s not the only thing that matters but I don’t know.” My mom says.

“I really like Penny Jane Spencer.” Sam says.

“I like that too.” I add, smiling, I can’t wait for the addition to this family.

To Be Continue...

Click Here For Chapter Seven (7) @ http://www.afrimedia.cf/2017/05/heart-to-heart-chapter-seven.html

Heart To Heart - Chapter Seven

Click Here If You Miss Chapter Six (6) @
http://www.afrimedia.cf/2017/05/heart-to-heart-chapter-six.html

Chapter 7

2:30am

My phone rings and I sigh and burrow deeper into my pillows and comforter.

Too early. It stops ringing and I close my eyes, ready to drift off to sleep again when it starts ringing again.

I sigh and grab it off my bedside table.

“Why on earth are you calling me this ear-“ I start but Leo cuts me off.

“Because it’s Christmas, stupid! It’s friggin’ Christmas, get up now!”

“Oh . . . “ I say. “I forgot.” I say, sheepishly. I throw off my covers and glance at the clock. Then I freeze.

“Leo,” I say, “It’s 2:30am!”

“It’s still technically Christmas! Ruby, Liam, August, and I are in Liam’s car outside your house, come on. Oh, and bring your Christmas presents for us, merry Christmas, Char!” He says, and with that, he hangs up.

Grumbling I pull on jeans, a shirt, my sweater, and grab the newly wrapped presents off my desk.

Still annoyed I tip-toe downstairs, wondering briefly if this counts as sneaking out, like in the movies.

I pull on my boots and open the door.

“Charlotte!” Ruby says, as I open the door and get in the car.

“You all better have a very good reason for waking me up at 2:30am.” I say, crossing my arms.

“It’s Christmas!” Liam and August say.

“Still not hearing a good reason.” I grumble.

“We’re all going to be with our families during the day, so we’re going to exchange Christmas presents now.” Leo explains.

I sigh, but I’m smiling. “Who’s idea was this?” I ask.

“Mine!” Ruby says, grinning from the passenger seat.

I laugh, “I should’ve guessed.”

“Yes, you should’ve.” Ruby nods in agreement and Liam laughs beside her.

“What still worries me is how you even knew where I lived.” August remarks, and I laugh.

“I’m just a natural born stalker.” Ruby says, smiling. “And I Cadence Thompson, figured your lab partner would know.”

“So where are we going?” I ask. Watching the world wiz by out the window.

“I’ve been planning this for awhile, I asked Riley if we could use her studio so we wouldn’t risk waking anyone up at an untimely hour back at one of our places.” Ruby says.

“You didn’t seem to mind waking us up at an ‘untimely hour’.” Leo says.

“Oh yeah, I don’t care about you.”

Ruby says without missing a beat.
I lean my head against the window, it’s begun to drizzle outside a little, and a few raindrops hit the window.

Leo slips his hand into mine and I could drift off to sleep there, but then we reach our destination.

We pile out of the car and make our way into Riley’s studio.

I turn the lights on and we all sit in the middle of the floor on a ratty old cloth stained with clay and paint colors that Riley uses as a tarp to cover the floor.

“Liam thought you guys might be hungry so we bought cupcakes before picking you guys up.” Ruby says.

“We were also hoping they might make you hate us less.” Liam says, opening a tin of grocery store Christmas themed cupcakes.

Everyone takes one and starts taking wrapped presents out of bags. I smile as I see Ruby take out the presents she’s tried so hard to wrap. Every year she tries and fails to wrap presents.

“Ruby.” I say, and toss the present at her. It hits her in the face and she grins.

“Ow.” She mutters

“At least it’s soft.” I shrug, smiling.

“Leo, catch.” August says, tossing Leo a present.

It’s kinda strange, and probably weird for me to find it almost funny, the way Leo acts around him.

Leo’s always been a little awkward and being weird around August makes sense but August doesn’t have a clue. This is normally something that thinking about would leave a pit in my stomach but maybe it’s the fact that it’s Christmas and 3:00am, and I’m sitting on the floor of Riley’s studio opening presents with my friends. Or maybe it’s none of that. But somehow, I’m not worrying, and I love it.

Everyone starts tossing presents around, grinning and chatting. Once all the presents have been distributed everyone started opening them.

I smile as I watch Ruby open the shirt I got her and hold it up. It reads If you pull out my earphones I’ll pull out your lungs.

“That’s very you.” Liam nods, studying the shirt.

“Open mine, Char.” Ruby says, pointing to a crudely wrapped present.

I pick it up and open it. I grin, it’s a T-shirt, similar to the one that I got her, but it says I’m with idiot with an arrow pointing to the left.

“Leo, open yours.” Liam says, pointing to another crudely wrapped present.

Leo’s reads I’m with stupid with an arrow pointing to the right.

“You two kept calling each other stupid and idiot, I couldn’t help it.”

Ruby grins, and Leo and I laugh.

“Everyone open mine now.” Leo says, pointing to presents wrapped in green paper with little snow flakes adorning it.

I open it and slid a card and a picture frame out of a box. I look at the card first, it’s just a little Merry Christmas card but on the other side there’s a little drawing of two balloons tied together, with the phrase I’ll stick by you wherever you go. Then I glance down at the picture frame. It’s small and wooden, nothing special, but the picture is amazing.

It’s actually something I remember really well, it’s last Christmas. Ruby, Leo, and I are all sitting in my living room in front of the fire, grinning.

We’re wearing cheesy Santa hats and holding mugs of hot chocolate.

I look up and see that Ruby and I got the same photo.

“Sorry, I didn’t have anything of you guys, so I just framed some pictures I took awhile back.” Leo says to August and Liam.

I see that Liam is holding a frame with a photo of Santa Cruz from above.

It’s something Leo took back during summer vacation, every now and then he goes on day long trips just to take photos, that day, I went with him.

August holds up his photo, it’s a picture of the beach at night.

“These are amazing, you took them?” He asks.

“Does that surprise you?” Leo laughs. “Yeah, I took them.” He nods.

“Open mine.” I say.

Leo rips his open, I smile, he’s done that since I can remember, it used to drive his parents nuts. He grins, holding up the vintage Polaroid camera.

“Where on earth did you find this, Char? This is incredible!” He says, studying it.

I laugh, “I asked Riley if she knew anyone who had one they’d sell, or if they knew anywhere to buy one.

Long story short she found one and I got it like a month ago.”

“Open yours.” I say to August and Liam.

August grins and Liam laughs as they see their presents. “how on earth did you remember this?”

Liam asks, holding up the next book.

“I’m just an amazing friend who pays a lot of attention.” I say, smiling. “And I checked with Ruby to make sure I got the right one.”

“Ah, and now it all makes sense.” Liam nods, grinning.

“Thanks, Charlotte.” August says, holding up the CD I got him.

“Is that the band you two saw?” Leo asks.

“We only saw half a show, technical difficulties.”

August says, smiling.

I slid my phone out of my pocket. “It’s almost four in the morning, we should really get going.”

Everyone opens the last presents quickly and grinning and laughing, we all get into the car. Then we part ways.

I tip-toe up the stairs. I doubt my mom or Sam would mind me being out with Ruby, Liam, August, and Leo, but I don’t want to wake them up.

I sneak into my room and set my phone on my bedside table and the bag of sort of early Christmas presents on my desk. Grinning I change back into my pajamas and climb into bed. Christmas is already off to a good start.

I wake up a few hours later to the smell of pancakes and hot chocolate.

“Hey,” I yawn as I walk into the kitchen.

“Hey sweetie, I was just about to come and wake you up.” My mom says from her seat and the kitchen table.

“Long night.” I say, smiling at my little inside joke.

“Hungry?” Sam asks.

“Very.” I reply, taking a seat.

“Merry Christmas, kiddo.” My mom says, handing me a present wrapped in red paper.

I laugh, “I feel funny not having anything to give to you.” I say.

“Well you already gave us our present.” Sam says, setting a plate with pancakes stacked on it, down in front of me.

I thank him and open the present.

Inside is a box, I pop the lid off the box and move aside some tissue paper. Catching sight of my gift I let out a sharp laugh and pull out a mug that says World’s okay-ist daughter.

“Gee,” I say, “I feel so loved.”

“Merry Christmas, Charlotte.” My mom says.

“Merry Christmas, mom.” I say, smiling.

To Be Continue...

Click Here For Chapter Eight ( @ http://www.afrimedia.cf/2017/05/heart-to-heart-chapter-eight.html

Heart To Heart - Chapter Eight

Click Here If You Miss Chapter Seven (7) @ http://www.afrimedia.cf/2017/05/heart-to-heart-chapter-seven.html

Chapter 8

A Fresh Start

“S o you in?” Ruby asks over the phone.

“Sure, where are you holding it?” I ask.

“I was thinking the beach but I don’t know what the weather will be like, besides we’re more likely to get the police called if we hold it at an open place like that.” She reasons.

I shrug, then, remember she can’t see me. “It’s your party, I’ll show up early and decorate and eat your food but you have to do the hard work, like planning it and stuff.” I say.

She laughs, “you got it, Char. This New Years party is going to be pretty low key though, I don’t want a bunch of stuff to clean up.”

I nod, “good reason.”

“Okay, well I gotta go, I’ll see you later.” Ruby says.

“Bye, let me know when you know more about what you’re doing for the party. I’ll get Leo to come help too.” I say.

We say goodbye and I hang up.

I glance at the clock and sigh. I am so bored. I get up and pace around my room, my thoughts my only company but eventually I decide it’s probably not a good idea to continue. Lately my thoughts have been leaving me with a huge pit in my stomach, an unsettling feeling, I must admit.

I grab my phone and start down the stairs. My mom and Sam are both sitting in the living room watching what must be the millionth movie in the past week, but I guess my mom doesn’t have much else to do, being told to ‘take it easy’ and all.

I walk into the kitchen to make myself a snack and call Leo. He picks up on the second ring.

“Hello?” He asks.

“I am bored out of my mind, sometimes I forget how boring winter break can be.” I say.

He laughs, “always so easily bored.

Well so am I, wanna meet up at Bella’s?” He asks.

“Nothing would make me happier.” I grin, setting down the apple I’ve just picked up. Cinnamon rolls are better anyways.

Fifteen minutes later I’m walking into Bella’s and out of the cold (by California standards) winter air.

“Char.” Leo says, standing up and waving me over. I smile and start towards him.

He’s got two cinnamon rolls on the table in front of him and I grin. “Is one of those for me or are they both for you?” I ask.

He nods, “oh they’re definitely both for me.”

I laugh and try to grab one but he picks it up and licks it.

“I licked it. Now it’s mine.” He says.

“Honestly that doesn’t deter me, besides I can always just take this one.” I point out, picking up the other one.

“Well played, Char.” He nods, taking a bite of his cinnamon roll.

“So.” I say. “What’s up?”

“Just post-Christmas blues.” He says, smiling.

I shake my head, “that’s not a real thing.” I say, I’ve said it a million times.

“Oh it’s definitely a real thing, and I will not hear otherwise, idiot.” He says.

I hold up my hands in surrender, “fine then, it’s real.”

His phone buzzes and he picks it up.

“Hey, Liam.” He says, setting it down on the table on speaker.

“Hey, my parents have asked me to paint the living room, are you free to help?” Liam asks.

“No, sorry, I have to help my dad out, my mom’s birthday is in a few days, he wants to throw a small party.” Leo says apologetically.

“I am.” I say, finishing off my cinnamon roll.

“Charlotte?” He asks.

“Yup, the one and only.” I grin.

“Great, thanks, Ruby’s coming too.”
Liam says.

“Should I come now?” I ask.

“Yeah, sorry it’s such short notice.”
He says.

I shrug, “don’t worry about it.”

He hangs up and I stand.

“Want me to give you a ride?” Leo asks.

“Can you give me a ride home and to there, I don’t want to get paint all over these clothes, my mom would kill me.” I say.

“Sure.” He says, then he stops and smiles at me. “Remember when we were eight and I finally convinced my dad to pain my room?” He asks.

“And you and I wanted to help so we tried to paint it with our craft paint, yeah I remember.” I say, laughing.
“It was such a mess.” Leo says.

“We, were a mess.” I point out, as we walk out of Bella’s and towards his car. I had walked here because it honestly wasn’t that cold out, except if was by California standards, in fact, most people were wearing coats.

I slid into the passenger seat as he starts the car. I’m suddenly stuck by an inexplicable feeling. It’s something between nostalgia and anxiety, and I don’t like it. It makes me feel like one day this moment will be nothing more than a memory, and neither a good one or a bad one.

We don’t speak as he turns on the radio and starts driving towards my house, and part of my wishes he would say something, because I’m sitting next to him, drowning in my thoughts. I want to escape this feeling, this feeling that’s been trailing me for ages. This feeling like I’m addicted to my own self destruction. Like every single thing I do is hurting me and somehow I couldn’t care less.

Why on earth do I feel like this? Why do I feel like every problem of mine is easily fixable. But it’s not a comforting feeling like you’d imagine, it’s unsettling, because I feel like I know that no matter how ‘easy’ it’s technically to fix all these problems, I don’t want to, and it wouldn’t be easy for me.

And as quickly as this inexplicable feeling hits me (in a fashion I assume is much like being hit by a bus), it passes. The car stops and I let out a deep breath.

“You alright?” Leo asks, looking at me with concern evident in his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I say. Biggest lie ever, but that doesn’t matter. Now now, anyways. “Back in five.” I say, dashing into my house.

I change quickly and start back down the stairs. “Mom, Ruby and I are going to help Liam paint his families living room.” I say as I put my tennis shoes back on.

“Tell them I say hi.” My mom calls back from the living room.

I’m out the door and back in the car soon after that.

“That,” Leo says, as I slid into the passenger seat. “Was six minutes.”

I hit him and laugh, “shut up.” I say, grinning, but the smile doesn’t reach my eyes.

“This,” Ruby declares, picking up a paint brush, “is a very strange color for a living room.”

“It’s called ‘Sunburn’.” Liam says, pouring some into a tin. It’s kind of orange but a little more yellow than orange.

“It looks like a really ugly sunset.” I conclude.

“It does, and I don’t think my mom likes it either, but my dad does.” Liam says, picking up a paint roller.

“I’ve taped half of the room, can you do the rest?” He asks, I nod and he tosses me a roll of painters tape.

Ruby walks over to a wall and paints a smiley face.

“What are you doing?” I laugh.

“It’s an improvement.” Liam says.

“It is.” Ruby agrees, studying her handy work.

We spend the next half hour painting random things on the wall, we’ll paint over them later.

One wall is done when Ruby stops.

“I’m starving, you guys?” She asks.

“I’m hungry too.” I agree, and Liam nods.

“I’ll get food, you two keep working.

Although frankly, covering our art is a crime.” She says, walking into the kitchen.

“It is pretty cool.” I say, sliding my phone out of my pocket. I take a few pictures of the designs still on the walls and grin, I’m an oddly sentimental person when it comes to things and moments like this.

“It is,” Liam agrees, and begins painting over the ‘I love Ruby’ he had written on one wall, and the ‘I hate Ruby’ I hate so helpfully added just below it.

“So why are your parents redoing a bunch of the house?” I ask.

“Something about a new start, for a new year.” Liam says. “They’re strange like that. They’re both therapists, so they’re very open with their feelings and always saying and doing things like this.” He laughs.

I grin, “somehow, this doesn’t completely shock me.” I say sarcastically.

“Oh what gave it away? The Psychology Monthly magazines? The inspirational posters that are everywhere?” He asks, smiling brightly.

“I have food.” Ruby says, walking back in with a few bowls of pretzels.

“Here you go my little ray of sunshine.” She says, handing Liam one. “And one for my little ray of darkness.” She says, handing me one.

I laugh, “‘little ray of darkness’?” I ask.

“Char’s getting old, this is better.”
Ruby says.

“I prefer Char.” I say, smiling.

“Well I prefer little ray of darkness, so shut up and eat your pretzels my dear little ray of darkness.”

Ruby says, grinning, and I can’t help but laugh.

Keep Reading...

Click Here For Chapter Nine (9) @ http://www.afrimedia.cf/2017/06/heart-to-heart-chapter-nine.html

Heart To Heart - Chapter Nine

Click Here If You Miss Chapter Eight ( @ http://www.afrimedia.cf/2017/05/heart-to-heart-chapter-eight.html

Chapter 9

Here and Now and Why It’s Important
“I” m here to help!” I call into Ruby’s house as I let myself in.

She emerges from her living room and shakes her head, “you’re hear to make a mess.” She says.

“No,” I say, stepping in, careful not to drop anything that I’m carrying. “I’m here to help.”

I trip and the three boxes stack in my arms and several bags hanging from my wrists crash to the ground.

“And you’ve made a mess.” Ruby sighs.

“But I’m still here to help.” I laugh, picking up the boxes and bags.

“Food for party, as asked, and various decorations as well as two party games, you’re welcome.” I say, grinning.

“Gee, thanks.” She says, stooping to pick up a few bags. “Food to the kitchen, other stuff to the living room.” She says.

I drop the boxes and a few bags onto the couch in the living room and put the rest of the stuff in the kitchen.

“So, what do you need help with?” I ask.

She shrugs, “not really. My mom’s invited most of our family and I invited the families of Liam, Leo, and August, and obviously you of course.

I figured we could start a fire in the pit out back, that way everyone wouldn’t be squeezed into the house.”

“I can help with the fire, and get snacks in bowls if you want.” I say as we walk back into the living room. We both sit down on the couch and start unpacking bags.

“Sure.” She nods, “what kind of decorations are there for New Years?” she asks, “I mean I get Christmas stuff but what can you do for New Years?”

“Banners, streamers, normal party stuff but most of it is in silver and gold.” I say, pulling out a Happy New Years! banner, and two rolls of streamers. “I also got these!” I say, pulling out a box of party poppers.

“Oh no,” Ruby says, shaking her head.

“Remember?” I ask, giggling.

“Three years ago, a bunch of confetti, and about a dozen party poppers. Oh yeah, and my absolute terror.” She says, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

I laugh and clap my hands. “It was so funny!”

“It was awful.” Ruby says.

“It was incredible.” I counter.

“I was terrified!” She says.

I grin, a few years back Leo and I had pranked her, waiting for her to come home shortly before midnight on New Years we had two buckets (which we had put on the fan) of confetti and a dozen or so party poppers. The second she walked in we turned on the fan and started with the party poppers. She slipped and fell in surprise (she was fine, just for the record), and was terrified. And her parents were none too impressed with finding confetti in their living room for the next several months.

“Don’t worry, we wont repeat that, these can be for midnight.” I say, setting them down. ”I also brought balloons, because . . . Well because balloons.” I say, pulling out two packs of balloons.

“Please tell me you brought a pump to blow them up with and we don’t have to do it ourselves.” Ruby says, smiling.

“Of course I did, idiot.” I say, turning back to my bag to find it. I stop. “Well, I did, I just forgot it.” I say.

She shakes her head. “Oh of course you did.” She laughs. “I am not blowing these up.”

“I’ll call Leo, he used to love doing this when he was little, still does.” I say, pulling my phone out of my pocket.

“There’s something wrong with him.”

Ruby laughs. “But at the moment I’m okay with it because I do not want to be blowing these up.”

Leo picks up on the second ring, “hello?” He asks.

“Hey, come blow up balloons at Ruby’s, they’re for the party.” I say.

“I’m calling Liam and August, I don’t want to do it alone. Be there in ten.”

He says. I laugh, no questions asked, I wonder how we got here sometimes.

How on earth have we gotten to the point where we’ll answer calls from each other in the middle of the night? Where did we start? How far have we come?

Additionally, however, I don’t really like thinking about the past, or even the future. It gives me a headache. I think here and now is pretty important.

But remembering that can be so difficult.

Sometimes I wonder if I’d be better off really thinking about the past and future. Or if I’d be better just doing what’s happening here and now.

But there are so many pros and cons that sometimes I don’t know.

Forty minutes later Leo and August are messing around with the balloons, occasionally throwing them at Liam and I who are trying our best to pin streamers up, Ruby is in the backyard attempting to start a fire, and judging from the occasional cursing coming through the open back door, she’s not having much luck.

“You know, if you had told me I was coming to blow up balloons I would’ve brought a pump.” August says, bouncing a balloon off of his head.

“But where’s the fun in that?” Leo asks, and I can tell he’s trying to make a joke, and well it goes over well with Liam and August, I notice the strained way he laughs.

A sudden wave of nausea washes over me and I briefly consider stepping off of the small ladder I’m standing on, so as to avoid falling off. But all the thoughts cramming themselves back into my brain take over and I can’t make myself. Because then I’m thinking about every little thing I’ve been suppressing.

This tends to be my tactic. Pretend it isn’t happening and hope it works itself out. This is not something I’d advise you to try.

It doesn’t work.

But what else can I do? I mean it’s not like there’s a guide book for ‘What to Do When You Have Feelings for Someone Who isn’t Your Soul Mate, Because Soul Mates Actually Exist, and isn’t That Totally Insane? Oh Yeah, and Your Soul Mate is a Really Awesome Person Who You Might Sorta Kinda Barely Have the Slightest Amount Of Feelings Towards.’

Yeah, pretty sure that’s not a thing. If it were however, I don’t think I’d be stuck in this situation.

“Charlotte?” Liam asks, looking up at me from where he’s sitting on the floor, holding streamers and tape.

“Uh huh?” I ask, shaking my head to clear it.

“Are you okay?” He asks in a low voice, and Leo and August don’t seem to notice our uneasy exchange as they’re too busy blowing up the balloons.

“Yeah, I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?” I say, just a little too fast.

He raises an eyebrow. “You look like you’re about to pass out, do I need to move? Are you going to fall on me?” He only half jokes.

I laugh a little, but it’s forced. “How considerate of you.” I say.

His smile drops, “I’m serious, Char, you alright?”

My smile falls too and I look away, not able to meet his gaze. “Honestly,” I say, “I’m not sure.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks, handing me another strip of tape and gold streamer.

I shrug, “I guess I would if I knew how.” I say as I tape up the piece of streamer.

“Well you can always call me if you figure it out, just preferably during the day, I mean I guess I’ll talk in the middle of the night but to be honest I’d rather not.” He smiles.

“Thanks.” I say, smiling back, and honestly I do feel better.

Ruby appears in the door way holding a box of matches and a lighter.

“I need help.” She grumbles.

“Me!” I say, jumping down from the ladder and nearly falling. I grab onto Liam’s shoulder to steady myself and grin.

“I’m good at starting fires.” I grin.

Then I frown. “That sounded bad. I don’t mean I regularly light things on fire, I’m just good at it.” I say.

“Sure, Char.” Ruby nods, “I’m sure that’s the only reason.” She grins
.
“Come on,” I say, grabbing the box of matches and the lighter. “Lets go start a fire.”

We make our way back outside and I pick up a few pieces of newspaper and crumple them. I toss a few sticks and pieces of bark into the fire pit and try with the lighter.

“That’s exactly what I did, it’s not going to work.” Ruby says.

The fire catches.

I grin. “I told you so, I’m good at this, my mom, Sam, and I go camping every year.” I say.

“I know, I know.” Ruby says, shaking her head.

“You got it from here?” I ask and she nods. “Okay, I’m gonna go put the food out.” I say, walking back inside.

August is already in the kitchen, looking through the cupboards for bowls.

“That one.” I say, pointing to one.

He opens it and takes out the bowls. I open the chip bags and we pour them into a few bowls.

“So,” August says. “What’s up?”
“Don’t you mean ‘what’s elevated in my existence’?” I ask, doing my best to mimic him.

“Sure, that’s what I mean.” August nods.

“Um, my soon to be sibling.” I say, grinning.

“Right!” August says, “that’s cool, I always wanted a little sibling, but all I have is an older brother.”

“You’ve got a brother?” I ask. “Is his name October?”

He laughs, “really original.” He grins.

“No, he’s name is Michael, he’s in college, in New York.”

“Wow,” I say, “gotta be a smart guy to go there, proud parents and all that?” I joke.

“Oh yes, really really, unusually, and uncomfortably smart. Basically exactly what my parents expected.

Unfortunately, probably not going to be like that.”

He laughs. “I mean, I’m not dumb or anything, I know that, but I don’t want to follow in their footsteps and be a doctor or anything.”

“So what are you going to pursue?” I ask.

“Surfing, maybe.” He jokes, and I laugh.

“How about you learn out to swim in the ocean first, you idiot.” I say.

He shrugs, “I told you, I’m from Ohio, land locked, I never even saw the ocean in person until we moved here.”

“We blew up all the balloons.” Leo says, walking in with Liam right in front of him. He tosses a balloon at my face and grabs a handful of chips.

I grab the balloon and laugh.

“Impressive, how many was that?”

“Five hundred.” Liam says.

“Wow, did you count them?” Leo asks, “jeez man, get a life.” He jokes.

“No, it said on the package.” He says, holding up the bag the balloons came in, a small ‘500’ was printed in the corner.

“Oh . . . “ Leo mutters.

Here and now. Everything about here and now couldn’t be better. I let out a breath, and for the first time, the weight in my chest seems to lighten.

Keep Reading...

Click Here For Chapter Ten (10) @ http://www.afrimedia.cf/2017/06/heart-to-heart-chapter-ten.html

Heart To Heart - Chapter 10

Click Here If You Miss Chapter Nine (9) @ http://www.afrimedia.cf/2017/06/heart-to-heart-chapter-nine.html

Chapter 10

I Wish Some Nights Could Last Forever


The TV is loud and several people are laughing. It’s a little too loud for my tastes so I grab a can of soda as I walk through the kitchen and towards the back door.


“Hey,” August says, “what’s up?”

“Too much noise.” I say, “thought it’d be quieter out here.”

He laughs, “well you were wrong.” He says, gesturing to the backyard. I spot my mom and Sam sitting in chairs near the fire, laughing and chatting with Ruby’s dad and Riley. Someone brought a speaker and is playing music, a song I recognize but don’t really know the name of.

“Yeah, I can see that.” I smile, not taking my eyes off of my mom, Sam, Riley, and Ruby’s dad. Mom always said she and dad split on good terms. They both knew it wasn’t working out, when they split it broke my heart, I even blamed myself for awhile.

But as time went on mom met Sam and honestly I’d never seen her look at someone like she looked and him, same with my dad and Riley.

“You wanna go talk to them?” August asks, breaking me out of thought.

“Huh?” I ask, looking up at him.

“You’re staring at them.” He says, smiling softly.

“Oh, um, no.” I say, although I’m not really sure if I’m saying I don’t want to talk to them or if I’m denying staring at them.

“Okay.” He nods, not questioning my strange tone.

“Come on,” he says, pointing, “it’s quieter over there.”

I can’t really tell where he’s pointing so I decide to just follow him. He leads me to a spot of the lawn that’s not really touched by the fire light, someone has laid out a few picnic blankets for anyone who wants to sit here.

I sit down on one and study the scene, August does the same. I don’t dare look at him, I feel like if I look at him and he looks at me, he’ll see all the secrets I’m keeping. Like he’ll see right through me.

I can hear him breathing, and see him, just out of the corner if my eye. He’s looking at me.

“Are you alright?” He asks.

“What?” I ask, forcing myself to turn to him.

“You’ve been acting funny, are you alright?” He asks.

“Why wouldn’t I?” I ask.

“That,” he says, smiling, “I wouldn’t know, but I thought I’d ask.” He shakes his head, “it was dumb, sorry, I guess nothings wrong.”

I want to tell him that something is wrong, but I don’t know how. Why are words so difficult to gather into a sentence? Why does he make it so difficult to say a simple sentence?

“The strings are gone.” I say.

“Really?” He asks.

I nod, “I don’t know why I didn’t tell you sooner.” I mutter, although it’s not a lie, it’s really only half the truth.

He shakes his head, “how?” He asks.

“Long story.” I say. Do I tell him? I could tell him everything? But I don’t want to do that. No, I can’t do that. I can’t handle that.

I make a decision in a split second and say, “remember when I first told you about that strings?”

He nods, “yeah.”

“Well I left a few things out, you know how Leo and I are together?” I ask, which is kinda a dumb question.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Well we don’t have a string. Well, didn’t have a string, really.”

“Huh,” he says, “I never thought to ask about that. How does that work?” He asks.

I shrug, “I don’t know. I’m not even sure if it will work.”

“I’ve seen you too, I can’t imagine you not working out.” He says, smiling.

If he only knew how awkward this is for me.

“Thanks,” I say, mostly for lack of a better thing to say.

“Anyways, the strings are gone.” I say.

“That’s gotta be a hell of a change.” August says.

“You have no idea.” I laugh, shaking my head.

“Well, if we’re on the topic of relationships, I asked Emily Cross out, she said yes.” He says.

“That’s great.” I say, smiling.

“Yeah, not really sure. We went to the movies and it wasn’t the best date ever. Granted I was an absolute idiot so that probably contributed to it.” He laughs.

“What happened?” I ask, smiling.

“Oh, just our average socially awkwardness.” He says, shaking his head and laughing. “The guy at the counter asked if we wanted popcorn or candy and I said ‘yes’.” He says.

I laugh, “I’ve done that before.”

“At least I’m not alone.” He grins. “So, the strings are gone. Did you like destroy soul mates?” He asks, lying back on the blanket, facing the sky.

I laugh, “I doubt it, is that even possible?”

“Are soul mates even possible?” He counters.

“Fair enough,” I say, lying down too. “But I think I’ve just lost the ability to see them.”

“Sounds reasonable.” August says in agreement. “Well,” he says, “it’s sounds most reasonable.”

I laugh, “none of this is reasonable.”

He laughs, “truer words have never been spoken.”

I smile, “do you know what time it is?” I ask.

“It’s 11:15.” He says.

“I can’t believe it’s almost a new year.” I say, sitting up.

“I know right.” August laughs, sitting up too.

“I should go find Ruby.” I say.

August stands up and offers me his hand. He helps me up and together we start back towards the firelight.

“See you later.” He says, waving and heading off towards the fire.

I head back inside and start looking around for Ruby.

“Freak!” A voice calls and I turn around. Ruby is coming towards be, grinning.

“Hey, I was just looking for you.” I say.

“Well I’ve been looking for you.” She says. “I’ve had my fill of small talk with relatives.” She laughs.

“I’ll grab the food, the basement’s probably pretty quiet.” I say, smiling.

I fill a plate with food and five minutes later I’m making my way downstairs. There aren’t as many people down here, a few people are chatting quietly, and a few adults are playing cards, laughing and chatting.

“Char!” Someone says, popping out from under the stair case, grinning widely.

“Leo!” I say in surprise and stumble back. He steady’s me and we laugh.

“Sorry,” He says, smiling.

“Come on, lovebirds, I’m hungry.” Ruby says from her spot on the floor, grinning.

“Oh shut up.” Leo says, whacking her on the head lightly as he sits down next to her. I set the food down and three cans of soda.

“So.” I say, leaning back against the wall.

“So.” Leo says.

“Gosh, you two are so interesting.” Ruby says, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

I laugh and throw a chip at her head. She catches it and eats it.

“We’ve known each other for years and haven’t run out of anything to talk about.” Leo points out.
“That’s a pretty good accomplishment.” He smiles at me.

“Where’s Liam?” I ask.

“Oh, he’s outside I think. He was talking to Sam last I saw him.” Ruby says.

“Speaking of lovebirds.” Leo says, laughing to himself.

Ruby shakes her head and flicks him in the ear.

“Ouch!” He says, bringing a hand up to his ear.

“Oh, I barely touched you.” She giggles.

I begin to zone out as they continue their argument, if you could call it that. It’s not due to lack of interest, it’s just due to the millions of thoughts racing through my mind.

But there’s a difference now. They’re good thoughts, the pit in my stomach is shallower, the weight on my chest is lighter. I feel happy, and light as a feather.

Honestly, I wish some nights could last forever.

To Be Continue...Heart To Heart
Afrimedia.jpg

Click Here If You Miss Chapter Nine (9)

Chapter 10
I Wish Some Nights Could Last Forever


The TV is loud and several people are laughing. It’s a little too loud for my tastes so I grab a can of soda as I walk through the kitchen and towards the back door.


“Hey,” August says, “what’s up?”

“Too much noise.” I say, “thought it’d be quieter out here.”

He laughs, “well you were wrong.” He says, gesturing to the backyard. I spot my mom and Sam sitting in chairs near the fire, laughing and chatting with Ruby’s dad and Riley. Someone brought a speaker and is playing music, a song I recognize but don’t really know the name of.

“Yeah, I can see that.” I smile, not taking my eyes off of my mom, Sam, Riley, and Ruby’s dad. Mom always said she and dad split on good terms. They both knew it wasn’t working out, when they split it broke my heart, I even blamed myself for awhile.

But as time went on mom met Sam and honestly I’d never seen her look at someone like she looked and him, same with my dad and Riley.

“You wanna go talk to them?” August asks, breaking me out of thought.

“Huh?” I ask, looking up at him.

“You’re staring at them.” He says, smiling softly.

“Oh, um, no.” I say, although I’m not really sure if I’m saying I don’t want to talk to them or if I’m denying staring at them.

“Okay.” He nods, not questioning my strange tone.

“Come on,” he says, pointing, “it’s quieter over there.”

I can’t really tell where he’s pointing so I decide to just follow him. He leads me to a spot of the lawn that’s not really touched by the fire light, someone has laid out a few picnic blankets for anyone who wants to sit here.

I sit down on one and study the scene, August does the same. I don’t dare look at him, I feel like if I look at him and he looks at me, he’ll see all the secrets I’m keeping. Like he’ll see right through me.

I can hear him breathing, and see him, just out of the corner if my eye. He’s looking at me.

“Are you alright?” He asks.

“What?” I ask, forcing myself to turn to him.

“You’ve been acting funny, are you alright?” He asks.

“Why wouldn’t I?” I ask.

“That,” he says, smiling, “I wouldn’t know, but I thought I’d ask.” He shakes his head, “it was dumb, sorry, I guess nothings wrong.”

I want to tell him that something is wrong, but I don’t know how. Why are words so difficult to gather into a sentence? Why does he make it so difficult to say a simple sentence?

“The strings are gone.” I say.

“Really?” He asks.

I nod, “I don’t know why I didn’t tell you sooner.” I mutter, although it’s not a lie, it’s really only half the truth.

He shakes his head, “how?” He asks.

“Long story.” I say. Do I tell him? I could tell him everything? But I don’t want to do that. No, I can’t do that. I can’t handle that.

I make a decision in a split second and say, “remember when I first told you about that strings?”

He nods, “yeah.”

“Well I left a few things out, you know how Leo and I are together?” I ask, which is kinda a dumb question.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Well we don’t have a string. Well, didn’t have a string, really.”

“Huh,” he says, “I never thought to ask about that. How does that work?” He asks.

I shrug, “I don’t know. I’m not even sure if it will work.”

“I’ve seen you too, I can’t imagine you not working out.” He says, smiling.

If he only knew how awkward this is for me.

“Thanks,” I say, mostly for lack of a better thing to say.

“Anyways, the strings are gone.” I say.

“That’s gotta be a hell of a change.” August says.

“You have no idea.” I laugh, shaking my head.

“Well, if we’re on the topic of relationships, I asked Emily Cross out, she said yes.” He says.

“That’s great.” I say, smiling.

“Yeah, not really sure. We went to the movies and it wasn’t the best date ever. Granted I was an absolute idiot so that probably contributed to it.” He laughs.

“What happened?” I ask, smiling.

“Oh, just our average socially awkwardness.” He says, shaking his head and laughing. “The guy at the counter asked if we wanted popcorn or candy and I said ‘yes’.” He says.

I laugh, “I’ve done that before.”

“At least I’m not alone.” He grins. “So, the strings are gone. Did you like destroy soul mates?” He asks, lying back on the blanket, facing the sky.

I laugh, “I doubt it, is that even possible?”

“Are soul mates even possible?” He counters.

“Fair enough,” I say, lying down too. “But I think I’ve just lost the ability to see them.”

“Sounds reasonable.” August says in agreement. “Well,” he says, “it’s sounds most reasonable.”

I laugh, “none of this is reasonable.”

He laughs, “truer words have never been spoken.”

I smile, “do you know what time it is?” I ask.

“It’s 11:15.” He says.

“I can’t believe it’s almost a new year.” I say, sitting up.

“I know right.” August laughs, sitting up too.

“I should go find Ruby.” I say.

August stands up and offers me his hand. He helps me up and together we start back towards the firelight.

“See you later.” He says, waving and heading off towards the fire.

I head back inside and start looking around for Ruby.

“Freak!” A voice calls and I turn around. Ruby is coming towards be, grinning.

“Hey, I was just looking for you.” I say.

“Well I’ve been looking for you.” She says. “I’ve had my fill of small talk with relatives.” She laughs.

“I’ll grab the food, the basement’s probably pretty quiet.” I say, smiling.

I fill a plate with food and five minutes later I’m making my way downstairs. There aren’t as many people down here, a few people are chatting quietly, and a few adults are playing cards, laughing and chatting.

“Char!” Someone says, popping out from under the stair case, grinning widely.

“Leo!” I say in surprise and stumble back. He steady’s me and we laugh.

“Sorry,” He says, smiling.

“Come on, lovebirds, I’m hungry.” Ruby says from her spot on the floor, grinning.

“Oh shut up.” Leo says, whacking her on the head lightly as he sits down next to her. I set the food down and three cans of soda.

“So.” I say, leaning back against the wall.

“So.” Leo says.

“Gosh, you two are so interesting.” Ruby says, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

I laugh and throw a chip at her head. She catches it and eats it.

“We’ve known each other for years and haven’t run out of anything to talk about.” Leo points out.
“That’s a pretty good accomplishment.” He smiles at me.

“Where’s Liam?” I ask.

“Oh, he’s outside I think. He was talking to Sam last I saw him.” Ruby says.

“Speaking of lovebirds.” Leo says, laughing to himself.

Ruby shakes her head and flicks him in the ear.

“Ouch!” He says, bringing a hand up to his ear.

“Oh, I barely touched you.” She giggles.

I begin to zone out as they continue their argument, if you could call it that. It’s not due to lack of interest, it’s just due to the millions of thoughts racing through my mind.

But there’s a difference now. They’re good thoughts, the pit in my stomach is shallower, the weight on my chest is lighter. I feel happy, and light as a feather.

Honestly, I wish some nights could last forever.

To Be Continue...

Click Here For Chapter Eleven @ http://www.afrimedia.cf/2017/06/heart-to-heart-chapter-eleven.html

Heart to Heart - Chapter 11

Click Here If You Miss Chapter Ten (10) @ http://www.afrimedia.cf/2017/06/heart-to-heart-chapter-ten.html

The Beginning Not The End

It only like 11:30 but it feels like I’ve been at this party forever. Not in a bad ‘oh god when is this going to end?’ Kind of way though, it just feels like Leo, Ruby, and I have been talking for hours.

We ran out of food a little while ago but we’ve stayed in the basement, leaning up against walls or lying on the ground, laughing and talking, and for a little while, it’s like the rest of the world doesn’t exist.

It’s like before all this drama, before I told August moved here, before I told Leo, before the strings broke.

You know how people say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone? I figured out what this meant back when I my parents had just divorced. I never realized how much I depended on my dad until he wasn’t there to read me a story before bed, or comfort me when I woke up in the middle of the night, terrified of monsters under my bed or the thunderstorms outside.

I haven’t had something like this until now, until this party. Until sitting down with Ruby and Leo and joking around in the basement late at night.

It feels like we’re making up for lost time, with the stupid jokes, and Ruby’s bad puns, and Leo stubbornness. It feels like we’ve lost the chance to have this again once before and we just got it back.

It feels wonderful.

Once, back in middle school we did a brief unit on poetry, and I remember being absolutely captivated by a poem written by Emily Dickinson. Well, really just one line.

“Forever is composed of nows.”

You know how there are some things that you never forget? It’s not even like you try to remember them, but they stick with you forever.

Small things, normally completely useless and stupid. Like that one really weird dream you had as a kid, or the color of the flowers at a relatives wedding you attended when you were really little, or one really ridiculous joke your kindergarten teacher once told you.

Those kinds of things. Stupid, random, useless.

It’s like one of those. I’ve always considered it a dumb thing to remember. But now I realize the meaning of it. I always got it before, but it’s times like now, that have made me understand it in a greater way.

“Forever is composed of nows.” I think to myself, my lips moving to form the words silently.

“Forever is composed of nows . . . “

But this now has just ended.

Leo stands up and brushes off his jeans, still grinning at some dumb joke he just told.

“I’m gonna go be present at this party, you probably should too Ruby, I mean you are throwing it and all.” He says, running a hand through his already messy hair.

“You’re right.” Ruby sighs, standing up too. I stand as well picking up the empty plate and cups as I do so.

“I’m gonna go find Liam.” I say, “I haven’t seen him in awhile.”

“Well I’m going to go socialize with my guests, and if you hear any angry screaming, it’s probably because I tried and have yet again discovered that I’m still bad at it.” Ruby says, smiling and fidgeting with her hoodie zipper. “Later you freaks.” She waves, starting back up the stairs.

“Freaks?” Leo asks, dismayed. “Now we’re freaks?” He laughs, shaking his head.

“She’s ridiculous, we’ve known her how long now? You should be used to this.” I say, smiling at them.

Ruby starts counting on her fingers. “We met in first grade right?” She asks, and Leo nods. “So that’s ten years. You should be used to me by now.” She says to Leo.

“No one can get used to you.” He says, smiling at her.

“Why thank you.” Ruby says, grinning.

“Yeah, that wasn’t a compliment.” He calls after her as she disappears upstairs.

He turns to me and laughs, shaking his head. “Sometimes I can’t tell if I love her or if I hate her.” He grins, slipping his hand into mine.

“Both,” I say, nodding in agreement. “I’d have to say both.”

“Come on.” He says, and we start up the stairs.

It’s a different world upstairs. Louder, there are at least two different places music is playing from, and people are talking very loudly in an attempt to be heard over the music.

“I’ll see you later.” Leo half says, half shouts.

“Yeah, see you.” I say, but he’s already disappearing into the noise and chatter.

I remember I was going to go look for Liam so my first stop is outside again. I’m sort of half looking for Liam, and half hopping I’ll spot August again.

As it turns out August is still in the backyard, sitting near the fire now, chatting with someone from school. He waves at me and I wave back but can’t make myself go talk to him. Besides, I still want to find Liam.

I turn back towards the house and run into someone as I try to walk in.

“Char!” A voice says from the ground in front of me.
I look up, rubbing my forehead.

“Liam,” I say, “where have you been?” I ask.

“Riding a llama in Neverland.” He says, standing up and helping me to my feet.

“Hilarious.” I mumble, brushing myself off.

“I’ve been helping someone put the fairy lights back up in the living room, someone knocked them down.” He says, rubbing his shoulder where my head must have hit him.

“Ruby was looking for you too.” I say as we walk back inside together.

“Well I’ve been looking for all of you, I’ve only talked to August today and I’m bored out of my mind. Plus, Ruby told my mom that she could invite relatives and stuff so my aunts and uncles keep asking me if I’ve thought about college, or if I know what I’m going to do with my life, it’s awful.”

He says, shaking his head, and I can’t help but laugh.

He hits me on the shoulder lightly, “shut up.” He says, but he’s smiling.

I shrug, “make me.”

“I hear duct tape is effective.” Someone says, walking up behind us.
We both turn to see August grinning.

“Hey,” Liam nods at him, and I wave and smile.

“What’s up?” I ask.

He shrugs, “I’m just going around telling people that they might want to start heading inside so everyone’s here for the countdown.”

“Right,” I say, “what time is it?” I ask, I’ve almost forgotten why the party’s even being thrown.

August glances down at a black watch on his wrist, “11:48.” He says.

I nod, “I guess I’ll start letting people know too.” I say, breaking away from the conversation.

Admittedly I half only said I’d tell people what time it is to get away from August. It’s weird, a few minutes ago I had wanted to talk to him and just didn’t have the guts to. Now I don’t want to talk to him at all.

Every time we talk there’s this annoying voice in the back of my head whispering about thoughts and feelings I don’t want to have.

I’ve tucked all those thoughts and whispers of feelings away in a corner of my mind, but now, barely ten minutes from a whole new year, in a room full of happy, carefree people, they begin to overwhelm me.

All these thoughts flooding me, becoming so loud, what if, what if, what if. What if I do actually like August? What if Leo and I don’t work out? What if I end up liking August but he moves on and I’m right back at square one. What if every single bad thing that could possible happen does?

What fun thoughts.

Now, at the worst possible moment, feelings begin to take over. Have you ever heard the saying, ‘follow your heart but take your brain with you’? It’s like that except I’ve forgotten my brain, and my heart is ruling.

I begin to walk into the living room, where at the moment, most people are walking towards. I sit in the back, in a corner, on the floor where most people don’t notice me.

They’re all oblivious to everything going on in my head. Even my mom and Sam as they walk in.

My mom is talking and laughing with Sam, seemingly glad to be out of the house and doing something. Sam in smiling widely, looking at my mom, eyes aglow as he helps her sit down.

Part of me wishes my mom would look over at me, look at me and see that I’m drowning, that I have no idea what to do. See me, and really see me. See through all my lies, my concealing of the strings.

See me and understand how desperately I need her advice and a comforting hug.

Someone sits down next to me and a hand slips into mine. I turn and see Leo looking at me.

He’s noticed. He’s seen. He sees through my shield.

“What’s wrong?” He asks in a low voice.

He can see the beginnings of tears in my eyes, the distraught look on my face. He can see how lost I feel.

I lean into him and he puts his arms around me. “Everything.” I whisper.

It’s not a reasonable, it doesn’t make sense, and he doesn’t question it at all. He just nods and holds me up as I begin to crumble.

I do not consider myself a weak person.

Honestly I don’t believe anyone is truly weak. I think it’s a label like almost anything else. I think everyone is strong, with moments of weakness. And these moments shouldn’t have to be dealt with alone.

This is normally how I go about these certain moments, and I’m glad that for once I’m not alone as I fall apart. But at the same time I begin to wonder, how many people I know have fallen apart with no one to put them back together?

How many people haven’t wanted to be a burden?

How many people have thought about asking for help and haven’t?

How many people have just pretended they’re okay?

Too many.

My sight begins to clear, and my breathing begins to become more even. Everyone is still loud, and talking, and they haven’t noticed me. But I’m okay with that. Because Leo noticed me. And at times like these, one person seeing you, seeing through your walls and being there for you, that’s enough.

I raise my head a little, still leaning against Leo’s shoulder. I watch as more and more people pile into the living room. Ruby and Liam walk in, August not long after them. They all make their way to the back and sit next to Leo and I.

Ruby notices too. She doesn’t say anything, I’m sure she knows I don’t want nor need her too. She just wraps an arm around me like Leo and gives me a one-armed hug.

“Need to talk later?” She asks in a quiet voice, and I nod.

Not long after this, someone turns the TV to the count down in New York.

We watch and count, everyone smiling as we go from ten, to nine, to eight, and on.

Everyone yells ‘one’ and the ball drops. Everyone grins, some people are clapping, others hugging.

“Happy New Year!” Several people shout in unison, others falling just a little behind.

“Happy New Year, Char.” Leo says, and I smile

I smile for many reasons. The main one being that I was wrong. This isn’t the end. This is only the beginning. The end of something, yes. But the beginning of something as well.

A new year.

A fresh start.

Another chance.

Not the end, but the beginning.

To Be Comtinue...

Click Here For Chapter Twelve (12) @ http://www.afrimedia.cf/2017/06/heart-to-heart-chapter-twelve.html

Click Here To Read Full Chapter @ http://festyy.com/qH8Yy5