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My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues - Romance (8) - Nairaland

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How My Ex Left Me After She Discovered My Salary Was 45k, I Now Earn This / She Left Me For A Medical Doctor And Now Wants A Second Chance / "Genotype Issues Have Cost Me Another Relationship" - Nigerian Lady Cries Out (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by DexteryJoe(m): 2:41am On May 28, 2017
I know u are heartbroken right now sweetheart, but sorry to still say, u r an embarrassment to medicine, truth is, looks lyk ur bf already knew ur relationship was heading nowhere, he was just for d "Cookie" all along, Pls next tym, learn to think wit ur brain and not ur emotions, c as una for don bring innocent pikin to cum suffer for una stupidity!!!!
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by Nobody: 2:55am On May 28, 2017
dominique:
It was for the best. If you're in Lagos, go to a General hospital close to you. Ask for the days when they hold clinic for SS patients and go and see for yourself what these warriors and their parents are going through. Trust me, it is not something you will wish for your worst enemy.

I doubt if you can use IVF to determine the genotype of your baby. At best, they will check the genotype of the embryo before implanting it into you. If by chance they are all sicklers, they will be discarded. How many of your unborn children to you want to waste before getting your desired result? Believe me, I don't think its worth all the stress and expenses. My only grouse with you and your ex was allowing the relationship to go further. You should have both called it off before investing so much energy and emotions into it.
Pgd comes before ivf with pgd you can't waste any child, meanwhile eggs are not children, when not fertilized they die off remember?

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by Oladiran0o7: 2:56am On May 28, 2017
dominique:
It was for the best. If you're in Lagos, go to a General hospital close to you. Ask for the days when they hold clinic for SS patients and go and see for yourself what these warriors and their parents are going through. Trust me, it is not something you will wish for your worst enemy.

I doubt if you can use IVF to determine the genotype of your baby. At best, they will check the genotype of the embryo before implanting it into you. If by chance they are all sicklers, they will be discarded. How many of your unborn children to you want to waste before getting your desired result? Believe me, I don't think its worth all the stress and expenses. My only grouse with you and your ex was allowing the relationship to go further. You should have both called it off before investing so much energy and emotions into it.


They can find out the genotype through genetic test if they go through IVF. Genetic testing provides lot of information/ abnormalities.
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by ryom(m): 3:05am On May 28, 2017
My dear young lady and junior colleague (if indeed you are a medical student), this is a blessing. There is no rhyme or reason why 2 people both AS, with full knowledge of their genotype status, on this God's own earth should marry and attribute it to some divine arrangement. It is bad enough if there is ignorance. It will be double tragedy to bring children into this world who potentially may be sicklers when you know this may happen. The man has ruled his heart with his head- that is wisdom. You be wise too. Your real partner will come. God bless you!
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by adexontop(m): 3:29am On May 28, 2017
dominique:
It was for the best. If you're in Lagos, go to a General hospital close to you. Ask for the days when they hold clinic for SS patients and go and see for yourself what these warriors and their parents are going through. Trust me, it is not something you will wish for your worst enemy.

I doubt if you can use IVF to determine the genotype of your baby. At best, they will check the genotype of the embryo before implanting it into you. If by chance they are all sicklers, they will be discarded. How many of your unborn children to you want to waste before getting your desired result? Believe me, I don't think its worth all the stress and expenses. My only grouse with you and your ex was allowing the relationship to go further. You should have both called it off before investing so much energy and emotions into it.



It better for you forget love and pray
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by Jaymaxxy(m): 4:28am On May 28, 2017
delugadou:



If it is ordained by God, the devil will try to oppose the union. Prayer will fix it since both families are in support. The Lord is your strength.

Prayer will fix it? Fix what? Turn AS to AA or what? I believe in God but it's better we do not go beyond boundary. God has done them good by making them see they are both carrier. You won't want to test God by going ahead. Have you seen someone with SCD before? if you see one, you won't want to risk it.
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by alen4smith(m): 5:00am On May 28, 2017
meiyol:
I just lost my relationship due to genotype issues..he is AS and I'm AS. We knew abt our genotype incompatibility frm the very first day..we were cool with it or so i thought. We were together for a year nd some months before we switched to long distance relationship cos of his job. I'm a med student, he is a doctor, so we both knew wat it meant. I was cool with it cos the signs were there that God put us together..everybody knows it, his parents, my parents..we ourselves knew it that our paths were ordained by God.. Then suddenly, from nowhere, he comes up with dangers of having sickler kids, the diseases they face, their pain and all..he suddenly stopped talking abt d fact that we may be lucky not to have any of our kids as sicklers, or medical methods we could use like IVF and all..our parents are both aware of the genotype ish, mine are very okay with it. He said he's not sure his parents are okay with it and yet they call me EVERYDAY to assure me nothing will go wrong and to cheer me up and all.. i questioned him cos it made me feel he was looking for an opportunity to leave..and he didnt give me any reply, just stopped talking to me.
Our introduction was slated for next year, he is my first love, I've been so loyal nd i pray for him.. I feel so used and heartbroken..my instincts tell me something is wrong..I'm back to square 1, where would i start from? He was my best friend, my everything..now, it's just me



congratulations is all I will say!please go celebrate it!you just dodged a time bomb !
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by bigsmoke2(m): 5:01am On May 28, 2017
meiyol:
I just lost my relationship due to genotype issues..he is AS and I'm AS. We knew abt our genotype incompatibility frm the very first day..we were cool with it or so i thought. We were together for a year nd some months before we switched to long distance relationship cos of his job. I'm a med student, he is a doctor, so we both knew wat it meant. I was cool with it cos the signs were there that God put us together..everybody knows it, his parents, my parents..we ourselves knew it that our paths were ordained by God.. Then suddenly, from nowhere, he comes up with dangers of having sickler kids, the diseases they face, their pain and all..he suddenly stopped talking abt d fact that we may be lucky not to have any of our kids as sicklers, or medical methods we could use like IVF and all..our parents are both aware of the genotype ish, mine are very okay with it. He said he's not sure his parents are okay with it and yet they call me EVERYDAY to assure me nothing will go wrong and to cheer me up and all.. i questioned him cos it made me feel he was looking for an opportunity to leave..and he didnt give me any reply, just stopped talking to me.
Our introduction was slated for next year, he is my first love, I've been so loyal nd i pray for him.. I feel so used and heartbroken..my instincts tell me something is wrong..I'm back to square 1, where would i start from? He was my best friend, my everything..now, it's just me



so you are going to take that risk because of love, how selfish of you. one hbss is bad enough what if you have 2,3 or even 4 and you are even a med student. Haven't you seen sickle cell crisis on the wards. Your kids will resent you if they know you both decided to marry inspite of being cognisant of your genotypes . Don't worry the pain of heart break will pass and you will find someone.
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by InvertedHammer: 5:05am On May 28, 2017
/
2 years from now you will be doing Thanksgiving for dodging this train-wreck-waiting-to-happen.

Every man/woman you cherish now is the best you can do at this time. It doesn't mean he/she is the best. As you grow, you will look back at this moment and shake your head at your naivety. Move on.
/
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by holluphemydavid(m): 5:55am On May 28, 2017
Destined2win:
For the sake of your unborn kids, dust yourself, put a smile on your face and move on.
Nice one, well advice
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by holluphemydavid(m): 5:56am On May 28, 2017
NwaObinkita:
Can I take his place

I am AA
Bad guy
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by Nobody: 5:57am On May 28, 2017
lepasharon:


Stop the ignorance. sickle cell is not a death sentence. Come to the West, ppl with sickle cell are living life..

Oyinbo bu agbara grin
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by deebrain(m): 5:58am On May 28, 2017
It has happened to me once. 6months relationship.

I feel you. For now, even churches are now rejecting couples with these issues because of the public awareness of sickle cell Now gaining ground.

Take heart with understanding and move on.
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by Adyss: 6:11am On May 28, 2017
Please don't be hard on him, he probably developed cold feet. This happened to me too. Marriage has its own whaala not to talk of AS. That love will disappear when the crisis begins. You will hate yourself and the child might hate you. Yes, technology can help but I tell you it is not worth it.
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by Mrlouis: 6:11am On May 28, 2017
tosyne2much:
And you claim you're a medical student? I just wonder the kind of medical students we are churning out in Nigerian institutions.. Oma se ooo!

He even tried.. If I were the one, I would have refrained myself from such a relationship considering the health implications of my kids.

Did you just say you're destined by God?

Even if the power of God cannot be overemphasized, you still have to use your head
Stupid, Just console her instead of being judgemental.. You aren't in her shoes, so u have no damn idea.
Sometimes in life, certain things happen for a reason..in this context, its very obvious that she got to move on..so don't cast aspersions. Thank you
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by Kobicove(m): 6:30am On May 28, 2017
So you want to hinge your future happiness on probability? undecided

The benefits of the relationship are not worth the risks involved.
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by holuwajobar(m): 6:38am On May 28, 2017
duduade:
Your Doctor boyfriend has finally met someone who sweeps him off his feet.... !!! And guess what she is AA...

Common I know couples whose genotypes are AS who ain't even in the medical line and they are married!!!! Love defeated their fright!!! And they have been lucky to have AS for kids....
thank God u used d word 'lucky'.....d question here is dat, what if she is nt lucky.... I will call d lady a selfish person..... U want to move on wit d relationship wen u clearly knw dat ur children wil suffer it...... Sometimes prevention is far better than excercisin faith on sumtin......

Pray that God shuld change ur genotype....dnt pray dat God shuld nt gv u sickler wen u clearly knw d implication.....

Move on with d relationship, den ur children will cause u forever.....
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by Ashmark(m): 6:39am On May 28, 2017
He did the right thing....
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by Numerouuuno: 6:45am On May 28, 2017
Stupid lady letting a stupid love that can evaporate in seconds cloud her judgment. Thankfully, the guy is brighter than her to end the stupid relationship.
You don't know what SS patients go through, infact, if the guy changes his mind and you two decides to get married, may you be barren forever than making an innocent kid suffer for your stupidity.
When will African's start having sense, the world is fighting against issues like SS and co, and stupid people like OP keeps populating the SS group.
Useless people
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by dbanjj1629(m): 7:04am On May 28, 2017
Op thank your star. don't be heart broken. believe God has a better plan for you. Its only fool that learn from their own experience when they can learn from the experience of others. Having a stickler has a child is nt something you wish your enemy. pls be strong and move on. its a blessing in disguise.
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by Nobody: 7:06am On May 28, 2017
Adyss:
Please don't be hard on him, he probably developed cold feet. This happened to me too. Marriage has its own whaala not to talk of AS. That love will disappear when the crisis begins. You will hate yourself and the child might hate you. Yes, technology can help but I tell you it is not worth it.


you have said the truth as I am going through same will share my experience some day. As the lady in question is hard on me she is the love of my life. But I understand 9 years is no joke that is why I have chosen to remain single
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by jjjjj2017: 7:10am On May 28, 2017
tosyne2much:
Hahahq cheesy You just made me laugh bro
grin
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by Maximus85(m): 7:11am On May 28, 2017
meiyol:
I just lost my relationship due to genotype issues..he is AS and I'm AS. We knew abt our genotype incompatibility frm the very first day..we were cool with it or so i thought. We were together for a year nd some months before we switched to long distance relationship cos of his job. I'm a med student, he is a doctor, so we both knew wat it meant. I was cool with it cos the signs were there that God put us together..everybody knows it, his parents, my parents..we ourselves knew it that our paths were ordained by God.. Then suddenly, from nowhere, he comes up with dangers of having sickler kids, the diseases they face, their pain and all..he suddenly stopped talking abt d fact that we may be lucky not to have any of our kids as sicklers, or medical methods we could use like IVF and all..our parents are both aware of the genotype ish, mine are very okay with it. He said he's not sure his parents are okay with it and yet they call me EVERYDAY to assure me nothing will go wrong and to cheer me up and all.. i questioned him cos it made me feel he was looking for an opportunity to leave..and he didnt give me any reply, just stopped talking to me.
Our introduction was slated for next year, he is my first love, I've been so loyal nd i pray for him.. I feel so used and heartbroken..my instincts tell me something is wrong..I'm back to square 1, where would i start from? He was my best friend, my everything..now, it's just me




He might have broken the relationship is a wicked way but that is best for you. Pray to meet an AA. I be AA but Lizzy has collected me and she won't even think of letting me go. When you find one or one finds you...don't let him go. Oko is scarce outside especially AA husband.
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by Hawlahscho(m): 7:21am On May 28, 2017
meiyol:
I just lost my relationship due to genotype issues..he is AS and I'm AS. We knew abt our genotype incompatibility frm the very first day..we were cool with it or so i thought. We were together for a year nd some months before we switched to long distance relationship cos of his job. I'm a med student, he is a doctor, so we both knew wat it meant. I was cool with it cos the signs were there that God put us together..everybody knows it, his parents, my parents..we ourselves knew it that our paths were ordained by God.. Then suddenly, from nowhere, he comes up with dangers of having sickler kids, the diseases they face, their pain and all..he suddenly stopped talking abt d fact that we may be lucky not to have any of our kids as sicklers, or medical methods we could use like IVF and all..our parents are both aware of the genotype ish, mine are very okay with it. He said he's not sure his parents are okay with it and yet they call me EVERYDAY to assure me nothing will go wrong and to cheer me up and all.. i questioned him cos it made me feel he was looking for an opportunity to leave..and he didnt give me any reply, just stopped talking to me.
Our introduction was slated for next year, he is my first love, I've been so loyal nd i pray for him.. I feel so used and heartbroken..my instincts tell me something is wrong..I'm back to square 1, where would i start from? He was my best friend, my everything..now, it's just me




I dont comment on old posts but I feel they way you feel.

All I'll say is; it is very likely, like 99% that he found another person with similar character as yours and not AS, that's human for you, it's not d matter of man or woman, any gender can do that.

I know it's not easy but try to stop thinking about it as much as you can, discuss it with you closest male friend if your have one, tell your close and SINGLE female friends, engage yourself in interesting things and quit seeing love movies, etc

You'll get your desired joy again very very soon...

Remember: You are you and a unique being, beautiful and gorgeously made, crafted by the most high, to stop feeling inferior, know it that you guys are not meant to be. Que Sera Sera (What will be, will be)


#TeasingWink #Smiles
Blessed Sunday sis.
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by Marlvin(m): 7:25am On May 28, 2017
Fate can be so unfair a times.
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by Setaje(f): 7:27am On May 28, 2017
lepasharon:


Stop the ignorance. sickle cell is not a death sentence. Come to the West, ppl with sickle cell are living life..

rrrmmm what do you mean ignorance. I am not talking of the west. I am talking about the ones I know here. More than 5 people I know have died right from my youthful days. So don't tell me about ignorance. If it was easy why can't their families fly them abroad and stay there. You think am typing for typing sake. In Nigeria sickle cell is almost a death sentence if you don't have money and sometimes money is not enough. Maybe you should spend a day in luth and come back and talk of ignorance.
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by wizod(m): 7:32am On May 28, 2017
Destined2win:
grin For your mind now you be sharp girl. Continue making 'good' use of your office.
read well before u comment. Read it d second time nadab very slowly
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by kingsilly(m): 7:45am On May 28, 2017
lepasharon:
Op as a Medical student, couldnt you think critically?

Both you and ur partner could have still had perfectly healthy chidren. Remember you had a 25% chance with every pregnancy of conceiving a child with SS. Also with the pregnancy, you could have done amniocentesis to check the condition of the fetus. Also you could have pre-implantation testing done in vitro...

They will tell you it's time consuming and another will say committing abortion, the rest go talk its expensive... AS and AS to me is really not as bad as this thread commenter are taking it..

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by tosyne2much(m): 7:51am On May 28, 2017
Mrlouis:

Stupid, Just console her instead of being judgemental.. You aren't in her shoes, so u have no damn idea.
Sometimes in life, certain things happen for a reason..in this context, its very obvious that she got to move on..so don't cast aspersions. Thank you
And you have to use the word "stupid", for who? Me?

May God forgive you bro.. Happy Sunday cheesy
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by kingsilly(m): 7:55am On May 28, 2017
Fhowe:
Most sound as if we are still in the stonage most of our parents did not know their genotype and it is not as if we have ss children everywhere my dear let him go this is 2017 you guys had options .Why do we sometimes think it is easy to walk away in western countries genotype is not an issue anymore there are reliable and cheap options and we should all stop acting as if abortion is a new thing one thing I know for sure 75% out of girls that are above 18 yrs have done abortion more than once
You sha get their Time
Re: My Fiance Just Left Me Due To Genotype Issues by ambyzown(m): 7:57am On May 28, 2017
If only we think more positively, things would work out better for us. Why focus on the 25% chance of having a child with SS genotype and ignore the 75% chance of having a healthy child? I believe in looking at glass as being 75% full than 25% empty.
Even with that, advances in healthcare technology make it possible to totally eliminate the chance of having a sickler.

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