Funke Egbemode,no doubt is one of Nigeria's best columnist at the moment.She has a way with Sarcasm that is quite unrivaled byany female journalist. In her current piece below. I was conned  into getting a copy of the The Sun Newspaper after seeing the caption of her article in the back page of the The Sun. WOW ! she may have succeeded in catching my attention and making part with my money for a copy but sarcastic humor was kind of worth it. 

Funke Egbemode :



Where else will you read a hot interview like this? Who else will make President Yar’Adua speak to President Obama through the local media? Are you clapping for me?
Yar’Adua: Good afternoon Mr President.
Obama: Good afternoon, Mr Yar’Adua. It’s so good to hear your voice.
Yar’Adua: We thank Almighty Allah. At least now my people will know that I’m alive.
Obama: That’s right. But I think you should have made this call long before now.
Yar’Adua: You know how it is with matters of state…

Obama: But you are in the hospital, ill and incommunicado.
Yar’Adua: Don’t mind the media in my country. Are you not speaking with me? How come we are having this conversation if I’m incommunicado? I may be ill but Nigeria is running fine. I’m still in charge.
Obama: I agree absolutely. The fuel queues are still there. Hostage-taking has resumed and your Ministers are still awarding king-size contracts.

Yar’Adua: (coughs) The most important thing is that Nigeria is working.
Obama: But you are still ill, very ill in fact.
Yar’Adua: Yes but all is well. So, how is America?
Obama: All was well until one of your children tried to kill 300 Americans with bombs he had carefully sewn into his pants.
Yar’Adua: Actually, the boy is not my child. He is the child of one of Nigeria’s most respectable families.
Obama: Ah, we should thank God then. If he were not from a respectable family, he would have killed maybe a thousand of my people.

Yar’Adua: Allah forbid. Nigerians love life too much to want to die, not at age 23. That is why there has been uproar against your country putting Nigeria on a terror list.
Obama: There is uproar here in America too.
Yar’Adua: We shall do everything in our power to resolve this problem. That is why I have instructed my Vice President to urge U.S. to take us off that list.
Obama: Really? I shall tell the U.S. Secretary of State to speak with him.

Yar’Adua: You won’t speak with him?
Obama: Mr President, you and I know enough about international political protocol to understand that the Office of the President of the United States of America cannot be trivialised.
Yar’Adua: Are you saying we are trivialising the Office of the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria?
Obama: No. You know I cannot say that but things would be a little bit easier if your Ministers would stop playing politics and set up a medical panel so you can transmit the necessary document to your Senate and douse all this tension.
Yar’Adua: There is no tension and my Ministers will never set up a medical panel that will say I can no longer continue in office.
Obama: Why, I thought they were honourable men and women cleared by your distinguished Senators, patriotically serving their nation?

Yar’Adua: Yes, they are but we are on the same ticket.
Obama: How could that be? I thought only you and the Vice President ran on the same ticket.
Yar’Adua: Yes again. What I mean is that my ticket is their meal ticket. If they sack me, they will be sacking themselves.
Obama: In other words, your ministers’ interest are far and above national interest?
Yar’Adua: Some things are too Nigerian to be understood by Americans, Mr Obama.
Obama: Like that face-off between your House and Senate over where you would present the supplementary budget?
Yar’Adua: And that Wole Soyinka rally during the week.
Obama: I agree that your country is quite a complicated entity. Trying to understand Nigerian politics is like walking through a maze.

Yar’Adua: You will understand us by and by. Just take us off that terror list and please do something about those scanners showing the unclothedness of my people.
Obama: All I also ask is a President to relate with. And by the way CNN will be visiting you soon with their cameras. I hope you will grant us a full interview.
Yar’Adua: We shall see.