want obedient children
If you heard someone described as obedient, what thoughts does it bring to mind? Someone with no mind of their own, who will do what you tell them, who won’t stand up for themselves. Oh no, that’s not what I’m aiming for, and so I do not want ‘obedient’ children.
Children used to be expected to be ‘seen but not heard’, to never answer back, to do as their parents say for no other reason than ‘because I said so!’ Thankfully that has changed a bit, but it does seem to me that a lot of peoplearestill striving for obedience from their children. Or at least that a lot of people expect you to be. The mother in the shopping centre with a screaming child can expect glares and ‘control your child’ comments from passersby. As if children aren’t their own person but more like possessions to be controlled.

That your parenting should be judged on how well your children behave, how quiet they are, how obedient they appear. That somehow the tighter grip you have on them, the more you are able to influence them and they will turn into a respectable adult.
And so ‘talking back’ is ok with me (as long as it’s not rudely).
Asking me why they can’t do something is ok with me.
Trying to negotiate with me is OK

Disagreeing with me is ok.
Big feelings are ok with me, and not something to be frustrated about.
By reacting this way I am teaching them that no matter if someone is bigger, older, or more powerful, it’s ok to question or stand up for what you think is right. That you can also do this in a polite and respectful way. That often things still don’t go your way and how to deal with that. If instead I chose to enforce behaviour with punishment, never let them question me, or didn’t help them with their big emotions, then how would they learn to deal with these situations in the future? How would that effect our relationship? Would they feel valued, respected, and important? Or would they feel powerless?

want my children to grow up to be ‘obedient’ adults, who give in to peer pressure, who are afraid to voice their opinion. Nor do I want them to grow up thinking that the way we interact with people younger than us is by coercion and control. Children are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. They can handle simple age appropriate explanations for things. They deserve reasons for our actions. I doubt I would be happy to do something I didn’t want to do if the only reason I was given was ‘because I said so’. I can extend the same courtesy to my children

On point. I've said it and will say it. I will never beat my children and no one can not even their father.

Beating them is useless and i think most people are just not matured enough to handle their frustration on their until they take it out on someone. Men especially God bless you for this write up.

sarahade:
On point. I've said it and will say it. I will never beat my children and no one can not even their father.

Beating them is useless and i think most people are just not matured enough to handle their frustration on their until they take it out on someone. Men especially God bless you for this write up.

there are certain things children would do that warrants beating...not mucha beating but something to remind them "they are wrong n you are the parent and they need stronger correction".

DeGuyNxtDoor:
there are certain things children would do that warrants beating...not mucha beating but something to remind them "they are wrong n you are the parent and they need stronger correction".

Example please to get through to any child you have to gain their trust so they do whatever you say and you need to earn it and trust me beating will only make them hate you and pray you never come back home.
Sir just read a book on children psychology and you will see the world through their eyes.

sarahade:

Example please to get through to any child you have to gain their trust so they do whatever you say and you need to earn it and trust me beating will only make them hate you and pray you never come back home.
Sir just read a book on children psychology and you will see the world through their eyes.

you're right, I don't intend beating my kids tho but what if they go way too far

sarahade:
On point. I've said it and will say it. I will never beat my children and no one can not even their father.

Beating them is useless and i think most people are just not matured enough to handle their frustration on their until they take it out on someone. Men especially God bless you for this write up.

True words,i dont even know how to beat, id rather punish, i have an uncle with 3 kids, 9,7 nd 4 yrs respectively, dis man has never laid hands on this kids, he only scares dem by shouting , only the mother does the beating, no wonder they are so attracted to the father,"i like my daddy than my mummy is always their ringtone". Lol

Children can be so fustrating at times, but using the rod at all times will create fear nd hatred,There are over a thousand nd one ways u could pass across a message to a child by sparing the rod

DeGuyNxtDoor:
you're right, I don't intend beating my kids tho but what if they go way too far

You punish them by not taking them to their favourite spot or buying them something you promised them or reduce their allowance allowance just deprive them of something you know they like while you are doing all that just make sure they know why they are being punished trust me they will apologise and never do them again especially toddlers they can melt heart with their apology.

sarahade:

You punish them by not taking them to their favourite spot or buying them something you promised them or reduce their allowance allowance just deprive them of something you know they like while you are doing all that just make sure they know why they are being punished trust me they will apologise and never do them again especially toddlers they can melt heart with their apology.

lol...i actually intend to adopt that means of correction tho, it sounds like cool rather than beating em. I don't pray to have wayward kids tho


BTW, are you married?

DeGuyNxtDoor:
lol...i actually intend to adopt that means of correction tho, it sounds like cool rather than beating em. I don't pray to have wayward kids tho


BTW, are you married?

It's actually the best imagine coming home early because your children won't sleep until they see you rather than them running away whenever you are around or pretending to be asleep.

I'm not married yet

All i can say is

I dont want this shi*ty post to make FP

Darksider131:
All i can say is

I dont want this shi*ty post to make FP

Seconded

sarahade:

It's actually the best imagine coming home early because your children won't sleep until they see you rather than them running away whenever you are around or pretending to be asleep.

I'm not married yet

it has always been my dreams to know my children want to see me around them every time, I have vowed to be the best a father can be and that they will take me as a role model and that my wife will be proud of the kind of husband she married...and most importantly, that I never lack whatever my family are in need of. I don't ask for massive wealth, I only want my family and I to always be contented and living fine.

God knows what's best for us all my dear

I actually thought u were married when u talked about toddlers melting hearts of their parents with their sweet ways of apologizing, you'll just feel like hugging them that instant with that innocent look all over their faces

sarahade:

It's actually the best imagine coming home early because your children won't sleep until they see you rather than them running away whenever you are around or pretending to be asleep.

I'm not married yet

Beat them or not they'll still act that way sometimes. I dont know how growing up was for you but back then, i just didnt want to bring 'water to wash hand etc'

Daddy gets home.. parks his car and horns to announce he's back.

Children : Daddy is back!!!!!

Packs all the toys, hide the disk collection, switch off the TV. pack the sega game console, packs books away. offload everything in the rooms. unlock the door and go inside to pretend you were inside your room.


Thats how I and my sister grew up. in fear of Dad.



I definitely don't want my kids to live in fear of me. you must obey everything to the letter. you're naive and stupid so you can only depend on me to make the right choices for you. you can't debate over topics with me. what I say is final and you must go with it. once you break any these rules.... "you're a bastard"

I don't want that!

sarahade:

It's actually the best imagine coming home early because your children won't sleep until they see you rather than them running away whenever you are around or pretending to be asleep.

I'm not married yet

How u go marry? Who get sense to throway money on bride price to marry u cos u ve got no worth. After u don make what is private become public what will u leave for d man to marry u.