I had always prided myself as a very faithful person, not till sometime ago, after i met Matt..

A colleague, Matt came in handy when the students proved a bit difficult for me to handle. I was learning to be accustomed to their manners till he came in one day, made scapegoats of some and restored real order to my class. New to the school, that was my first time of seeing Matt.. After the class, we did some getting to know each other, and I recognised that there was this thing I felt for him, should I call it love or lust at first sight..

We would later be talking for hours at a stretch, take time off just to gist and we went up the holding hands radar, then to cuddling and more.. It all happened a little at a time and fast too.. And surprisingly enough, every bit of my stay with Matt has been memorable.. He is every inch my fantasy guy... The only issue here is that we are both in committed relationships..

I knew I had started 'cheating' when I discovered I could tell Matt virtually everything, something I never did with my main guy.. He's the very open type too.. The kisses we've shared has been out of this planet.. A mere touch from him calmed my entire system.. Though I've known deep down that whatever we have is so temporal, I still wish I could be sane enough not to follow my feelings.. sane enough to do the right thing, and avoid duplicity..

My main relationship already seems to be disintegrating, as my heart has drifted away.. I somewhat wish I've been able to maybe manage the both of them, but my heart craves unashamedly for Matt.. I pity Rex, the main guy. He has sacrificed a lot for the relationship and it makes me feel terrible but not enough to stop seeing Matt.. He has been complaining bitterly that things are not the way it used to but he doesn't seem to have any clue about the depth of the matter..

I feel confused and sorry most times, but I also wish I don't have to stop seeing Matt.. I mean this guy seem to have all the intensity, sensitivity, creativity...lemme stop here, I had 'imagined' in a guy, my guy.. Just saying it as it is tho..

If another had written this, I would have thought them mad, maybe I'm madder.. Now I know much never to judge anyone, especially those who 'see' someone else other than their partners..

So you are ready to jeopardise a committed relationship because of a fling? After you've had sex that's when the scales will fall from you eyes and you'll suddenly realise it was all lust and by then Matt will start losing interest with your relationship gone you'll lose both ways and depression will start setting in...

Be wise I beg of you