SmellingAnus:
so you could even travel without your mum's permission

I can't, I won't, I'm now calm hearing u guys talk, so I ain't going no where, tnx.

liz4eno:
I can't, I won't, I'm now calm hearing u guys talk, so I ain't going no where, tnx.

anyway, I am not against you travelling, just do anything right to win your man back...

liz4eno:
Lol, I'm calm, tnx to u guys.

Wait, this dude quit answering your phone calls ( that's like effectively breaking up with you if you're frank with yourself ) because you chose to obey your mother over him? A guy who is merely A BOYFRIEND to you? Somebody that she and your family don't know officially as a would-be husband to you?

Listen, your mum was in order. I'm proud of her. That's a woman with dignity. If your boyfriend was mature, he'd realise that your mum's refusal is a plus on your family's side. That's the type of mother whose daughter he can marry and go to sleep. He would therefore quickly proceed to put a ring on it. Then, his sour grapes would be justified in future if he asks for favours from you that you decline.

Did you say you got his mother to plead with him and he didn't budge?

My advise : Continue your attempts to get him to reason with you for one more week. DO NOT TRAVEL to see him. If he still maintains his stance that you should have disobeyed your mum's cogent reason for not helping him, then I think you should take a deeper look at the character of the man you want to get married to. This is maybe a litmus test and it is good that it is happening at this time. Your prayer should be that God exposes the real nature of your suitors, pre-marriage.

kindredspirit:


Wait, this dude quit answering your phone calls ( that's like effectively breaking up with you if you're frank with yourself ) because you chose to obey your mother over him? A guy who is merely A BOYFRIEND to you? Somebody that she and your family don't know officially as a would-be husband to you?

Listen, your mum was in order. I'm proud of her. That's a woman with dignity. If your boyfriend was mature, he'd realise that your mum's refusal is a plus on your family's side. That's the type of mother whose daughter he can marry and go to sleep. He would therefore quickly proceed to put a ring on it. Then, his sour grapes would be justified in future if he asks for favours from you that you decline.

Did you say you got his mother to plead with him and he didn't budge?

My advise : Continue your attempts to get him to reason with you for one more week. DO NOT TRAVEL to see him. If he still maintains his stance that you should have disobeyed your mum's cogent reason for not helping him, then I think you should take a deeper look at the character of the man you want to get married to. This is maybe a litmus test and it is good that it is happening at this time. Your prayer should be that God exposes the real nature of your suitors, pre-marriage.

No I didn't tell his mum anything even though we talk often she asked if all is well I say yes, but breaking up jus mere reason of not coming, isn't that harsh a decision?? Tnx aniway I've been praying bliving all will be well, I'll keep messaging him at least he opens nd read them( watsapp).

liz4eno:
I've been an addict nairalander, posting for the first time, pls I need advice on what to do because I'm confuse, might be lengthy pls bear with me.
Where do I even start?
In summary I've been dating this guy and we are to go for introduction by September, I served in Delta state while he was working in Benin, when I passed out I stayed with him for a while like a month plus before I left for Lagos to be with my sister she's kind of heavy and need me around. He was transfered to Akure I still came down with him before I left.
The main issue here is he called me sometime last week to come and help him pack completely from Benin to Akure but I told him to seek permission from my big Sis, He did nd she told him she also have to ask my mum if I'm allowed to go,,obviously mum refused on d basis that he has not come home and I already stayed for awhile with him, he should be patient and do the right thing.
He was upset I didn't come, in a nutshell now he isn't picking my calls, not returning them nor replying my messages, seriously I'm going out of my mind,the last time we spoke was on Tuesday and kept saying me I refuse to come he'll get his revenge.
Pls is this how to revenge? His silence has been eating me up, my Sis she's also worried but don't want to get involve, I speak with his mum daily is it proper I tell her? Pls I need advice, I know its deliberate act but I'm emotionally down, can't think straight, help me fellow nairalanders, should I go,I'm tired of this,tanks a lot, insults are welcome.

I hope you have resolved the issue by now. Be that as it may, I think you will be making a mistake if you marry that guy. The way people behave during courtship goes a long way to show how they will behave during marriage. He will also want to take revenge for every little thing, including things that sound unreasonable like this one.

You may not want to leave him because he has a good job bla bla bla, but I hope you won't live to regret marrying him. While it is important to consider financial security in a man you want to marry, it's more important to consider the characters and behaviours of the man above every other thing.

It is true you know his family and speak with his mother every day, but you will not be marrying his mother; you will be marrying him. Pls, look before you leap.

liz4eno:
The "man- child' got me laughing, but seriously we r in love but this side of him I can't tell.

That's one of the benefits of courtship; it helps you to discover new things about each other and get to discover each others characters. Love is never enough; characters and behaviours are the ultimate