hi people,

I would like to ask a question and i would like to be answered by honest and straight people,thanks. My question is that I live with my guy and we are happy and both students but the thing is we are not yet ready for the white wedding due to many reasons. So my mum is so insistent that we do the engagement party even if we want to postpone the white wedding.

the queston is that I have never seen in my life where only engagement party is done alone without the w/w done the next day or week.

Pls house advice or give opinion if this is normal or ridiculous.

PS, no one should say its non moral to be live in lovers,cos u don know me and cant judge me with jus few lines. thanks yall

An engagement party only  is possible . In the real sense of the word it is actually the traditional wedding or Native law and custom wedding which is recognized under Nigerian law. You should get a Marriage certificate from a registry , which only requires your parents ,his parents and a witness on both sides present.

I am a big beliver however in making something right in the eyes of god some Church's offer something called a service of blessings, which will simply have the church sanction your union . They mostly will not provide a certificate. It is ususally offered when a bride is pregnant or already co -hhabitationwith the groom and does not involve any pagentry

However I echo chaircovers warning, only do it, if it is the desire of both of you and not cos you mother is pushing for it . In terms of co- habitation be careful not to give away cheaply what should only be given after wedding ( And I am not talking about intimacy)

thanks, dont worrry we are the perfect match, we live together in some part of europe and are recognised as couples as we have done something legal but not in the eye of the world,
(but in Gods eye we are married as law is also godly) and that is also important as my mom points out everytime.lol

u know yoruba pple they will always want to celebrate party, the thing is pls forget the moral aspect, is it normal if its the only party done and no white wedding after, my sister says she hasnt heard of it b4 and even my husband says the same but is ready to make me happy and so do anything i want except white cos its not conducive for both of us NOW that i should wait till we can do both. so do u get now.

if thats the case the answer to the question is yes . people do either celebration this days to cut costs , even do both on the same day.

Traditional marriage backed with a court marriage is fine with me.

chika98:

Traditional marriage backed with a court marriage is fine with me.

Well said Chika98, that makes ur marriage legal and the white wedding can happen whenever u have the money.