Hi everyone in the house,

I need an urgent response to this.

I am a graduate, gainfully employed, in my mid twenties.

I am presently in a seven month old relationship. The guy is 9months older than I am. He is also working, but he has not gone to serve.

He says he would like to marry me.

We don't see too often, despite the fact that we stay in the same state. I compaline about this, and he promise d to change. He did, but I think he is reverting to his former behaviour. At least, I have not seen him for two weeks now.

I have discussed this isuue with him several times, but he is always telling me to take it cool.

I know he is dating someone else; but i have not been complaining.

He doesn't allow me to go through his phone.

My pastor called me some weeks ago that he would want to know the person I am dating and probably receive letter from his pastor to know the kind of person he is.

I didn't inform my boyfriend about this at first, but on another thought, I decided to tell him, to know his response; and perhaps to test him.

When, I told him, he said he is not ready for that yet, and that he wants our relationship to be on low profile.

I even told him that I am not asking him to marry me now, but at least let me know his plans.

He didn,t tell me anything.

I have been to his house a couple of times. I have met his siblings and grandmum; but I have never met his parents and he has not introduced me to any of them.

I met a guy two months ago, he is a little above thirty.

He proposed to me and he intends to get married in less than a year.

Please advise me on what to do.

Please stop wasting your time. But i will advise you still test him,pray about it and let your pastor know about everything. The guy just wanna use you and dump you dont let another opportunity pass you by.

first, a 30 something yr old guy u just met wants to marry u under a yr.?,
next, have u asked if he is really busy n has a stressful job?
next, y does ur pastor want to see him?ur parents i can accept but pastor, thats out of order?,
next, wat makes u feel he is dating someone else?,
lastly ,y do u girls feel we guys that ur in relationship wit must dedicate our whole time on u?,
advice, dont jump ship until u have confirmed that he isnt interested anymore, he mite just be too busy or hustling for u two,

@kpolli

He is a busy person; but not all the time. I am also quite busy too. But I believe that if a guy loves and care for his gurl, he will create time for himself to see her.

I got to know that he is seeing someone else through his phone. Thats y he doesn't allow me to go through his fone.

My pastor is doing his own job. By the grace of God, I am very active in my church. The pastor is just trying to mentor me along the right path. Moreover, he is not saying that he should come and marry me now; neither am i saying that; but all he wanted him to do was to tell his own pastor; who will write a letter to my pastor about what he knows about him.


Its not as if I want him to spend all his time with me (I don't have that time either); but I think even if it is nce a week; it is ok by me.

I am not in a hurry.

I just want us to discuss where we are going from here.

lol
are u asking us whether u shuld stick with the guy who is obviously not serious

or marry the guy who is??

are u seriously asking??

i never saw ''love'' once in ur post. u seem not to consider love important enuf for marriage. u just want the ''ready''

congrats dat makes u my lady of the decade. thinking with ur head rather than the heart. i bet u already know wat to do

do wat ur head says.

@poster,kpolli is right.just wait a little while and
see how things goes.dont go tabling your getting married
to ur guy to pple.it is left for but of u to sit down,especialy for
him to come out full and give you his plans.dont run faster
than your legs.come on girl give him some time.

@ ayetymama

Yep. I am serious o.

@smoooooth
Do you know that when you love a guy; or when the guy knows that you love him; and he is not reciprocating, It can be very frustrating.

I loved him very much  initially; but when i noticed his character, I decided tokeep my love to myself so that i will not become worked up emotionally.

kpolli:

first, a 30 something yr old guy u just met wants to marry u under a yr.?,
next, have u asked if he is really busy n has a stressful job?
next, y does your pastor want to see him?your parents i can accept but pastor, thats out of order?,
next, wat makes u feel he is dating someone else?,
lastly ,y do u girls feel we guys that your in relationship wit must dedicate our whole time on u?,
advice, dont jump ship until u have confirmed that he isnt interested anymore, he mite just be too busy or hustling for u two,

abi ooooooo help me ask this desperado all these questions because this marriage thing get as e be.
Why are you so desperate to be married? i mean you are educated and gainfully employed yes we all need someone to share our successes and life with but marriage by no means fufills your life as a woman. a guy 30 something would want to marry you because he has lived and enjoyed his single life while you are still beleiving that marriage completes your life instead of you to at least enjoy the fruits of your labour before you settle down. na you sabi

@poster
Dump the guy's ass as ASAP. He doesn't give a shit abt u. I wonder how ladies can still talk like this when u know for a fact he is cheating on u with someone else. If someone cares abt u, he will make time for u. Face it and do what's best for u.

On the other guy, well it might be time to study/ work on another relationship. He may or may not be the guy for you. The fact he wants to get married within a yr is not what's important. Its the chemistry btw u two,

More responses please

^^^^ He's using you as a backup. Tell the guy that it's over. If he really has plans for you he will come back.

I agree with u Ghredon.@the poster-Tell him its over,ok?if he's serious about you,he'll come back for you.Dont bother about him.God is still on the throne.