Before You Bring in the Second Wife [Opinion]


While some may feel that bringing in a second wife will reduce their wife's excesses, reduce their loneliness and improve the level of satisfaction of life, I have seen that the reverse has been the case many times. This piece is not about religion nor about fiction, but about facts I have drawn from observation and interviews I have conducted among some persons. Even from the Islam point of view, I can argue it that it is difficult because it is said that you should marry two, three or more if you can maintain equity between them. And practically speaking, can you maintain equity between two persons perfectly? The case seems like when Jesus said "stone her, but be sinless".

#1 ERROR
"When I get married to a second wife, it will reduce my loneliness and lonely times."

Most men think their wife is very busy. Too busy with house chores, career and other things that he is often forgotten. The man feels he need to do something and to keep himself more accompanied, he gets another wife. Now, this solution works for a while. When the first wife comes, she fills the often-void of the other woman, she fill-in the missing letters and you are happier. She is maybe more beautiful- because probably you feel you made a little error in judgement in the choice of your first wife. She is new and you feel 'wowed' by her but like every new materials, with time, beauty begins to fade.
Now, fast forward to some years later. Wife2 now have her own kids and she is now more occupied. She puts her attention on her kids and the Wife1 who had since felt betrayed had since done same. The kids of Wife1 now begin to be drawn more to their mum and so the kids of the Wife2. The man suddenly finds no one on his side and he begins to notice how lonely he has become! Wives spend more time on their children and children confides more in their mum... Once-a-loving man is now seen as a 'betrayer' by the wives and children. You were once lonely in the 'empty' room but now, you will be lonely in the 'crowd'.
....To be continued