elipheleh:
Both you and your husband don't care about one another. He often complain to you about his problems and you are here saying it's not really your concern. At thesame time you still want him to be concerned about your own issues with his aunties?
The earlier you two start supporting each other, the better for the marriage.

I wonder how a woman go dey and some pple go dey milk the husband and she says its none of her business. I know this kind of woman, and the man understand her well. Thats why the man left her to do whatever she likes and thats why she is confused.

Dear OP,

I will respond to your post by firstly asking you a few questions and secondly dropping a few words of counsel.

Firstly, on a few questions:
*Are you a christian?
*Are your in-laws Christians too?
*What was their relationship with your husband like before he married you?
*Have you at anytime stopped your husband from helping them either before or now you are married?
*Do you sincerely think that your husband's attitude towards his aunts has changed negatively towards them after marrying you?

Secondly on a few words of counsel:
*If you are a christian, then it is important that you commit the situation firstly into God's hand in prayers for he is more than able to take care of the situation in his own (best) way.
*If your in-laws in question are Christians, then finding solution to the issue will be a lot easier from godly perspective, otherwise it is certainly a more herculean task.
*Let me also say here that it was not in your best interest for your husband to have asked you to do to them whatever pleased you. By that he was putting you at a cross-fire zone which may consume you, especially if you are not strong when it comes to spiritual warfare. My sister, let me counsel you not to undermine the extent in-laws can go just to get at a woman whom they see as being an obstacle to their having their way with their brother.
*I know many will not agree with me on this, but it is my candid opinion. You have to encourage your husband in their very presence to be of help to them as much as he can willing offer to them.
*In addition, see to it that your husband's attitude does not change towards his people lest you be accused of manipulating him. Truth is that many women will accuse their daughter/sister in-law once they suspect that their son/brother is being manipulated by his wife.
*Finally, do not disrespect your in-laws. Rather, continue to accommodate and tolerate them and do not be weary in praying for the success and peace of your marriage.

Johnsown1:


It is partially the husband's fault but the lady shares the biggest fault here

How is it the lady's fault? Do u expect her to fight her in-laws?

ReneeNuttall:


How is it the lady's fault? Do u expect her to fight her in-laws?

I don't know if there is women of action, u don't have to physically fight them but use ur mentally ability. The man is the head of the house they said but woman hold the keys, why will she cry cause of their treatment towards her. Let her set her rules, take the bull by the horn (heaven help those who help themselves).

Johnsown1:

I don't know if there is women of action, u don't have to physically fight them but use ur mentally ability. The man is the head of the house they said but woman hold the keys, why will she cry cause of their treatment towards her. Let her set her rules, take the bull by the horn (heaven help those who help themselves).

It's easy for u to say,especially when u r not there.If a woman is to gain her grounds in her marital home just like u av said,she needs 100% support from her husband ok.This is Africa where almost every marital feud is blamed on d woman.From what she said,she's trying her best not to create more problems by being rude to her in-laws. Because at the latter end,she will still be d one to bear the brunt.

MrsBimbo123:
My father in law is late (RIP), he was a good man and he never stressed me. When things were really rough for my husband, I didn't see any family member, in fact no one came to visit us except my father in law, my mother in law too is late.

My problem is my husband's two Aunties, for 2 years now they have been making my life miserable, always saying bad things about me to people. Someone in my husband's family told me that they are behaving like that because they think I am the one collecting my husband's money but God knows. They are always demanding large sum of money from my husband & I don't mind (it's none of business, even though my husband complain to me most times).

There was a day one of my husband's aunt told my husband to always tell them about anything he is doing. One thing I will never accept from any human being is someone disrespecting my mom, one of his aunt was talking anyhow to my mom few months ago (my mom is very old & she doesn't make trouble). They also talk anyhow to me in public and in the presence of my staff that I will even start crying due to the embarrassment.

I have complained to my husband several times & he told me to do whatever I wish to do to them but It's not in my nature to disrespect elderly people, they are really pushing me, if they continue behaving like this I might disrespect them.

I can remember how my husband's family members tell me that women don't stay long in their family before they go but which woman will stay long with the way they treat them.

I didn't know from the beginning, I have been with my husband for 5years now, he is a very good person, in fact he told me himself that he wish he has no family member, he also told me that he can't talk to them about the way they are behaving.

I will appreciate any good opinion, God bless you all.

They don't have the right to insult you at your office.

Ask your staff to eject them. That's simple..

Its in your hands..

How can a woman, a full grown adult, a responsible married woman, allow her relatives (dad, mum, brother, sister, uncle, auntie or under any relationship definition) harass her husband for any reason whatsoever, Truly not all "women" are women. Your in-laws wont speak bad of your husband if you did not give your in-laws the information to be used against your husband. Stop reporting your husband to your relatives dad, mum, brother, sister, uncle, auntie or under any relationship definition, seek counsel from godly counsellors instead. Families are prone to breaking marriages these days while they enjoy theirs, cos same families will use it to mock you after, people like you before marriage you will see them running up and down visiting the in law like say no tomorrow. Even secret visits. Once them enter house finish. Abeg focus more on your husband nad your children, most families that would be forming protection for you are only after what they want to get from you after then and thats only be distracting you from seeing the flaws you've created in your marriage. Involving your relatives in any issue with your husband is the quickest way to destroy your marriage. Learn to resist your urges to let any relative aware of any issue with your husband. My wife's aunty is a marriage counsellor nd what she always tell my wife is that the reason most wives have issues in their marriages is because they don't put to use their greatest weapon, she said a wife's greatest weapon is stooping to conquer. It sounds foolish but that's the truth. Men have ego and the solution to that is stooping to conquer nd you will be surprised how your husband will be like an antenna that you can turn him off and on like remote control to anywhere you like, people will think you have charmed him. A man responds to a submissive woman. Hello ma'am, it's a simple thing just for crying out loud you're suppose to protect your husband from all angle irrespective of whatever any relatives say, a wife and husband are suppose to protect their home from crazy family members. Its so funny seeing tall and hefty women who go shivering when relatives come into their homes causing so much confusion. You need to make it clear to members of your family that they must respect your husband if they hope to get any form of financial assistance from you or him. Op do not I repeat do not handle them for your husband cos if anything happen your in laws (your husband family) won't forgive you. If they insult your husband openly, don't keep quiet, when you fight back they'll see that as a sign of proving a point. If your husband want to give your family the whole money he has in his account, do not object. Let him do so because if you stop or try to stop him, he will use that against you someday. If he is not wise enough to handle situations, I wonder why he is the head. If any of them lay curses on your husband he has the right to lay curses on them back because its about life of a human being, send it back to them immediately, that is not an insult. That is also another way of saying ' I won't take shit shat from you just cos you are my relatives'. Some in-laws are just not it. Na you dey think am. If its me, I will just do as if dey don't exist. Respect is reciprocal. I respect you your family and i expect you to know yur place too. They won't take that nonsese from anyone trying to disrespect their wives and husbands. I you don't take the courage now and shut any disrespect from them, you will eternally be oppressed. You are afraid to act for fear of the unknown from your relatives yet you are pushing your in laws to belittle and disrespect your husband. They don't live with you so let him sort themselves out or did you get married to your in laws? If they can't respect your husband it means they don't rate you. Lastly, warn them to stop coming to your house frequently, yes issue the warning, ban them seriously from contacting your husband for any financial thing cos it ridicule your family to your husband, be aggressive about it. When you show them that you are not soft, they will never take you for granted again and if you dont open the wall lizard won't enter it, be than mean wife to them. they will respect you and your husband. Set an example for your children, if any, that shows that one shouldn't tolerate disrespect. I wish you good luck anyway.

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