SirMazi:

Why you dey think like this na,he no love her but he want to marry her.Does it correlate

so why had he not mistakenly taken her to his house

This was the exact words my mother inlaw used when her son told her about his intention to marry me...her son damned her and went ahead with the planning. Everyone supported him. She only showed concerned at the dying minute but today, she can't stay a week without calling to hear my voice. I'm sure your mum knows that you are in love with the girl hence her rejection for the fear that you might forget her in the future. Mothers don't like it when their son love a woman so much even though they won't accept this. They feel threatened. The ball is in your cut @poster. You are a man, your mum should learn to respect your choice. She can't just say her spirit doesn't accept the girl. Meaning what exactly? How will she feel if someone should waste her daughter's time for complete 9 years. That's not fair but then, both you and the girl should take a break and seek God's face...perhaps, God is trying to save both of you from something.

To Mummy, i agree with your stand they should not marry, but you should give him specific reasons why you are rejecting the lady, you will be helping your son for better understanding of your reasons for your rejection. The way it is, you have put your son into a serious situation becos in attempt to hurt the lady you end up depressing your son becos you have to give consent to the union. I am begging you to please help your son to be happy. I hope you are not rejecting his girlfriend for your friend's daughter? If yes, then it is very wrong. Just thinking ma. Passy089, go to see your parish priests to talk to her and engage you father and your siblings to plead with your mother after which your girlfriend should also. Please, don't without your mother"s approval. Good luck.

Passy089:
I've dated my fiancee from my year 1 in the university that's 9years now, she stood with me through thick and thin, never left me for ready made guys, she trusted and supported me and I promised myself no woman will make me happier than her so I proposed to marry her....

So I took her to see my parents for the first time, but I got the shock of my life when my mum rejected her at 1st sight for no particular reason her word was "my spirit just don't accept her" my dad was cool about my choice as long as I'm happy, I've been begging my mother to reconsider but she has made it clear she won't have anything to do with her or me if I go ahead and marry her.

I'm just confused,the last person I'll leave is my fiancee but my mum too is very special to me.
what should I do??


MOD please help forward this to FP

Please try and see your mum to know her reasons why. Don't rush into getting married because people are saying you should leave your mum. She might have her reasons so try to know why. But I still think you had a share in the blame for introducing her to your family late,haba! Nine no be joke oh.

Passy089:

(I think), this is a case of a protective mother-

You know your mother and if her feelings are (usually) credible or valid. She may or may not have good reasons. She herself may not even know why her "spirit" does not agree with your fiance.

But, do listen to the woman who gave birth and raises you nevertheless.

Admittedly, it should not have taken 9 years for them to meet. But, both your fiance and your mother need to spend time together and catch up. Your mother's "ill" feelings may just be that she doesnt know her. Her feelings may change once she does.

Better sort this out now than years after marriage when you realize you should have listened to your mother.

You can never really know someone until you marry them and even still people do change in marriage.

Do not discount your mothers feelings. Investigate it before you ultimately make a decision.

Good luck.

zealblinks:
this one strong gan.... put God first on this issue pray to God... go and meet her family I mean your mom or her pastor explain everything to them and how the lady mean to you. make them help you talk to her. I hope she go change....

Good. You made a nice point but there is a always another side to every coins.

What if this lady come into their family and they begin to have problem? What if this man were not ment for this girl? Or rather they were not ment for each others.

So this woman might see something. So whatever the case might be, i will advice this young man to adhere to his mummys advice because of tomorrow.
Yes it is very painful, at the same time it might be for her own advantages.


It is very dangerous to marry someone out of pity.

Happy weekend.

CioAngels:
To Mummy, i agree with your stand they should not marry, but you should give him specific reasons why you are rejecting the lady, you will be helping your son for better understanding of your reasons for your rejection. The way it is, you have put your son into a serious situation becos in attempt to hurt the lady you end up depressing your son becos you have to give consent to the union. I am begging you to please help your son to be happy. I hope you are not rejecting his girlfriend for your friend's daughter? If yes, then it is very wrong. Just thinking ma. Passy089, go to see your parish priests to talk to her and engage you father and your siblings to plead with your mother after which your girlfriend should also. Please, don't without your mother"s approval. Good luck.

Only on nollywood

If your mother still refuses to give reason simply go ahead and marry the girl. Then after marrying her apologise to ur mother. The deed has been done anyway!

mofeoluwadassah:
you dated her for nine years and you have not for one day taken her to your house? then it means you dont love her

Waoo. Honestly am shot of words. You just hit the nail on the head.

Nice one.

Amebo1:
ignore ur mum at ur own peril, I'm sure she will tell u her reasons latter

why wont she say her reasons now

CioAngels:
To Mummy, i agree with your stand they should not marry, but you should give him specific reasons why you are rejecting the lady, you will be helping your son for better understanding of your reasons for your rejection. The way it is, you have put your son into a serious situation becos in attempt to hurt the lady you end up depressing your son becos you have to give consent to the union. I am begging you to please help your son to be happy. I hope you are not rejecting his girlfriend for your friend's daughter? If yes, then it is very wrong. Just thinking ma. Passy089, go to see your parish priests to talk to her and engage you father and your siblings to plead with your mother after which your girlfriend should also. Please, don't without your mother"s approval. Good luck.

Believe me when I say the woman doesn't give a damn on how the guy feels about her decision, especially, if the guy is the major contributor to the family. The only thing they cared is the money the guy brings home and wouldn't want him to get so attached to the girl. The first my mum inlaw came to my village, her attitude towards me changed totally. She realised that the son's money is a joke where my brothers money is.

I know u love ur mama dearly but follow ya heart
F she insist let d 2 of dem enta agreement to d effect that ur wife wont turn away your love for your mother after u get married, or
Go to a prayerful man of God and bring your nother before Hod in prayer.....you will see what God will reveal to you

People here say "don't marry out of pity", but there is hardly a decision you make based on loyalty that is without a dint of pity inside.

That said, Op knows more than he is saying. He should respond on age difference, religion, tribe, and family background. The mum must have a reason which is known to the op, after all he knows what his family likes and abhors in a marriage.

And for those blaming op for not taking her home. Some homes ve peculiar rules and you won't understand except u are a member. Op must ve taken the decision for marriage within the last 2 years after befriending her for the previous 7 years (add uni days and NYSC which they may ve parted ways). Its not like he started out as his fiance from day one. So it's not like u guys are painting it.

To op, give time to every thing. Stand on ur lane, and use every opportunity to restate ur choice, respectfully, mum will come around. We are all human. And for endevouring to carry everybody along on this matrimonial trip, I wish you luck, u are a man.

Ask Your Mother For A Concrete Reason If None, See An Anoited Man Of God.

op, I have a problem with this post....for 9 years you took your fiance to see your parents just once. And your mother kicked against your union.....op, for 9 years? Is this not wickedness on your side op? A girl that was with you through thick and thin. Don't you think you should have introduced her a long time ago? put yourself in your mom's shoes...how would you feel if it's you. I have nothing more to say other than you go and apologise to your mom and make her see reason why this girl is a rare gem....that's all I have to say about that

We mothers think we know everything. Time has change and all we can do is pray and wish our kids all the best. Do what you think is best for you remember your mother is not going to be here forever. Let her know that it's your life and you are man enough to make your own decision. Assure her how much you love her but don't give her that power to determine who you marry. She may not bulge for awhile even after the wedding but I do believe that with years catching up with she will. Make sure you don't live close to your parents so that your wife will have peace of mind.

nopretense:

Woow
This is a genius and informed comment, coming frm an experienced and enlightened mind...

Thanks for the glowing review.

Ignore or marry your mum.

Princewell2012:


Good. You made a nice point but there is a always another side to every coins.

What if this lady come into their family and they begin to have problem? What if this man were not ment for this girl? Or rather they were not ment for each others.

So this woman might see something. So whatever the case might be, i will advice this young man to adhere to his mummys advice because of tomorrow.
Yes it is very painful, at the same time it might be for her own advantages.


It is very dangerous to marry someone out of pity.

Happy weekend.

your correct sir. I said that when the Op quote me

Sir, U did right thing for taking dt decision but marriage is a bit spiritual than physical. 1st impression is always d key 4 anyone to a strange home(both male n female). Most marriages struggle in some aspects like pre-mature death of one of couples or childlessness, because one of d parents did nt agree.
My Advice Is Take The Marriage Slow N Prayer Harder Dn B4 4 Ur Mum To Change Her Mind.
2. Some Girls Are Finding It Diffcult To Marriage because of Evil Altars. This May Be The Case And Only Prayer Can Break This.
3. I Cant Encourage U To Disown Ur Mother After Raising U Up because Of "Over Sweet Bleeping". TELL UR GIRL TO GIVE U TIME N ASK HER TO JOIN THE PRAYER TOO. She waited for u 4 nine years, cant she wait for more 6 mnths?
4. Talk To Ur Mum, Just Maybe She Was Eyeing Her Friend's Daughter For U N Let Her Knw U Got One Alrdy.
Finally, If U Abandon Ur Mum Nw Cos Of Ur Self-centered Happiness From Ur Gal, D Wil A Time Dt U'L ND D HAPPINESS OF HAVIN A BELOVD MUM 2 BE PART OF UR SUCCESS STORY WH IS UNMEASURABLE.

Rorachy:
Why not, some mother in laws are good at frustrating their son's wife.

selfishness of women that woman ur praying for death is someone elses' world joy and happiness but because of ur selfish desires and greed u want her dead so u wont be rivaled but believe me in this life we will always have rivals even in marriage its either is his mother, his sister, or a mistress outside but rival na must..hope u would be happy when u get to knw ur hubby to be is praying for the death of ur family members because he does not want additional family wahala and stress

Lewaluv:
Ignore your mother.

Not surprised a lady wud say dz ..... It speaks how much of ur relationship with ur mum


Not everyone is resentful towards his mum though. Keep it up

I am not resentful. I just have a brain and know how to use it.

vivie01:


My thought too. @op, you dated a girl since year 1 in higher institution and did not have gut to take her home for ONCE in 9years? You are a player and you did not try at all. You did not love or have any plan of marrying her, simply put.
If you had taken her home during one of the holidays you would have known ur mother's mind towards her and not waste her time.
There is danger ahead for both you and the lady if you ignored your mother moreso that she has refused to bulge.
Where is the place of prayer in all this your confusion? I leave you to it.

The case is very simple after thinking about it. Its like meeting a girl just for the purpose of chop and clean mouth, but fell in love with her along the way. Perhaps she was too good to be true.

Some girls are just too good that you can't even break up with them. Once you are in. The door will just close

Passy089:
I've dated my fiancee from my year 1 in the university that's 9years now, she stood with me through thick and thin, never left me for ready made guys, she trusted and supported me and I promised myself no woman will make me happier than her so I proposed to marry her....

So I took her to see my parents for the first time, but I got the shock of my life when my mum rejected her at 1st sight for no particular reason her word was "my spirit just don't accept her" my dad was cool about my choice as long as I'm happy, I've been begging my mother to reconsider but she has made it clear she won't have anything to do with her or me if I go ahead and marry her.

I'm just confused,the last person I'll leave is my fiancee but my mum too is very special to me.
what should I do??


MOD please help forward this to FP

Op,

Talking from experience not concerning marriage though. Your mum have a reason for her action. She might not wanna tell u knowing fully well its beyond wah u can comprehend or smfin. Every mum wants the best for his kids no !matter how annoying they can be. I remember while choosing a career path years back my mum warned me about the military she just won't agree no matter wah I said or whoever come talk to her. Toor me string headed boy defiled it like most pple keep saying here that u shud choose for urself u ain't mums boy. I followed the pathway and who no come no go know wet in I see a journey of 5 years was truncated and it was like I wud never pass out. Even for no cause I was to face commandant order and at that point my friends in the Uni I was before leaving were already serving. Oga sir I got withdrawn o. And I had to cry back to mum it was there she told !e her dreams and some revelations etc. Thank God I went back after much prayer although my organic course mate r now my seniors but at least am still alive and engraced to still be part

What am saying in short, dnt underestimate ur mums word although I know how annoying it seem buh I can bet there is a reason for the word. Find a way to ask her if not spiritual probably physical. I meant d reason for her words. U might go with those who say u ain't mums boy but. A woman who nurtures u ryt from birth who won't sleep till u sleep a! Sure u can't compare the bond love etc to a lady who surferrrd thinks and thorns and dnt take action that might cause enemity BTW urself and ur mum if anytin happen. Oga that lady fit leave u o. Buh ur mum will still be dia dnt take a decision u might regret after marriage.


Just pray let God lead

Peace

chukagates:
am not surprised i knew a lady will say what u jst said ...no be una again?? pple wy dey find man wey im mama don die..

My dear so u are advicing the guy to do away with her abi? After nine good years of wasting her time. Do you know how many better guys she turned down cos of the guy??....why didn't the guy show her to the Mother since and waited till nine years before doing that. The guy should go and make the mum see reason thats all.

Passy089:
I've dated my fiancee from my year 1 in the university that's 9years now, she stood with me through thick and thin, never left me for ready made guys, she trusted and supported me and I promised myself no woman will make me happier than her so I proposed to marry her....

So I took her to see my parents for the first time, but I got the shock of my life when my mum rejected her at 1st sight for no particular reason her word was "my spirit just don't accept her" my dad was cool about my choice as long as I'm happy, I've been begging my mother to reconsider but she has made it clear she won't have anything to do with her or me if I go ahead and marry her.

I'm just confused,the last person I'll leave is my fiancee but my mum too is very special to me.
what should I do??


MOD please help forward this to FP

Please my brother if after 9 years u leave this girl both God and Satan will combine forces and enter u. Who r u leaving her for?, Do u plan to marry ur mom when u leave her. Even after oiling her engine for 9 good years.

Queerworld:



Op,

Talking from experience not concerning marriage though. Your mum have a reason for her action. She might not wanna tell u knowing fully well its beyond wah u can comprehend or smfin. Every mum wants the best for his kids no !matter how annoying they can be. I remember while choosing a career path years back my mum warned me about the military she just won't agree no matter wah I said or whoever come talk to her. Toor me string headed boy defiled it like most pple keep saying here that u shud choose for urself u ain't mums boy. I followed the pathway and who no come no go know wet in I see a journey of 5 years was truncated and it was like I wud never pass out. Even for no cause I was to face commandant order and at that point my friends in the Uni I was before leaving were already serving. Oga sir I got withdrawn o. And I had to cry back to mum it was there she told !e her dreams and some revelations etc. Thank God I went back after much prayer although my organic course mate r now my seniors but at least am still alive and engraced to still be part

What am saying in short, dnt underestimate ur mums word although I know how annoying it seem buh I can bet there is a reason for the word. Find a way to ask her if not spiritual probably physical. I meant d reason for her words. U might go with those who say u ain't mums boy but. A woman who nurtures u ryt from birth who won't sleep till u sleep a! Sure u can't compare the bond love etc to a lady who surferrrd thinks and thorns and dnt take action that might cause enemity BTW urself and ur mum if anytin happen. Oga that lady fit leave u o. Buh ur mum will still be dia dnt take a decision u might regret after marriage.


Just pray let God lead

Peace

Bro after 9 years of wasting her time then his mom will now decide?
If his mom wants to see spiritual things then let her pray against it and move on. Even the mother would not be happy if this is how she was treated by his father. My brother 9 years is long o. The girl would have become old cargo that nobody wants and even become an object of ridicule. After standing by this guy for 9 years and probably the guy has made it now, he will now leave her to go and cry and maybe even possibly commit suicide. The father has said yes, that's all he needs(not like he even needed it sef)

My guy even u sef reason it, 9 years with a girl and then she says no, because of a parent that has already lived her own life. Haba nau, even God will not be happy o.

Queerworld:



Not surprised a lady wud say dz ..... It speaks how much of ur relationship with ur mum


Not everyone is resentful towards his mum though. Keep it up

It's not about resentment. Ur parents are meant to just accept ur decision to marry who u want to marry. If they keep telling u no till they see one they like, then they might as well just go and bring a wife for u at once to save u the stress of doing wife auditions for them.

mmachi96:
My dear so u are advicing the guy to do away with her abi? After nine good years of wasting her time. Do you know how many better guys she turned down cos of the guy??....why didn't the guy show her to the Mother since and waited till nine years before doing that. The guy should go and make the mum see reason thats all.

are u seeing the kind of life ur living?? why are my fellow nigerians like this?? oya show me where i said he should leave if not big sense fall on you

Passy089:
I've dated my fiancee from my year 1 in the university that's 9years now, she stood with me through thick and thin, never left me for ready made guys, she trusted and supported me and I promised myself no woman will make me happier than her so I proposed to marry her....

So I took her to see my parents for the first time, but I got the shock of my life when my mum rejected her at 1st sight for no particular reason her word was "my spirit just don't accept her" my dad was cool about my choice as long as I'm happy, I've been begging my mother to reconsider but she has made it clear she won't have anything to do with her or me if I go ahead and marry her.

I'm just confused,the last person I'll leave is my fiancee but my mum too is very special to me.
what should I do??


MOD please help forward this to FP

I think its jealousy. Moms see there son doing well after school, they expect some kind of love in return from the son bc, dads own is either outdated or exhusted. Then seeing another woman coming to take the love away or divide the love makes them feel unconfortable hence the hate some show for no reason. Just, let her know what you and ur bae has passed through and how much you love her.

truthsayer009:


Exactly bro. Exactly. In fact what kinda woman would date a guy for 9 years without meeting his mum.

Even if witches in the village are doing her. It can't be up to 9 years. Habba! They would have left her in the 5th year lol.

Lol. Well seems she was blinded by Love and never bordered to ask. Anyways I have seen ladies who never cared to know the home of their boo.