First phase of a seeming relationship with this guy, he works in IT yes they go home as late as 9-10pm daily, but even from the first week of the relationship I had to go visit him at his office which is just a stone throw from mine. The weekend meeting/date we were to have didn't happen because he said he was ill. He never set up a proper date, I know where he works, he never knew mine.

Every weekend became quarrels, because all he would say is I do plan for us to see, I wish to, I want to, It is my intention... words and words but no action, the only times we see are the 5 - 10 minutes when I stop by his workplace and he comes out and spares a moment because he is busy. I send him a facebook friend request, he does not respond for up to 2 weeks even though I keep telling him to accept the request.

Then I throw tantrums and say I will walk because I cannot imagine how a guy cannot meet me or make time, then he promises he will not go to work on a certain day I can come to his place, oh yeah I don't know his place either. I am always ready to create the time if it means us moving forward, so I am ready on the said day, its already a bit funny its his place he is saying I come, which means its still me going to him not him coming to me or we both meeting somewhere, but I still tag along. He pushes the meeting hour on the said day ahead he said he did not go to work, he keeps pushing the hour ahead till he says he is at a meeting maybe I will meet him after the meeting, @5pm day is almost over and he says why don't I come by his office? I simply ignore him, and I go home so dissapointed, let down and hurt. I tell him later (we mostly talk through chat) that I do not wish for him to contact me again, I do not want to be rude, but what he did that day tore me inside. So he kept trying to message I just block him, and try to get over it.

He did not call or maybe even try to locate me and explain, I expected that maybe he would do so since he always says he cares but not by actions. Over the next 3months once or twice he tries to chat I brush him off. He never physically knew where I live either.

On a certain evening he says goodevening, I respond, we start talking again, says I have been ruthless, that he wishes I understand how demanding their work is, even their bosses have problems with their wives. I say okay fine he is forgiven but in my mind I have no intention of continuing, he then keeps chatting asking me things like what have I eaten, I then tell him I uncomfortable with those questions I do not wish to waste my time or that of another person, I make it clear I am searching for a true and meaningful connection with someone which I can grow. He then says lets redifine everything and claims he wants a true relationship... I give in again, I tell him clearly no matter how busy u have to create time even if once a week, we have to spend time together. he agrees, all this talk on phone.

First saturday of second phase when we are supposed to meet , he claims he is coming to my office, calls me at 4 or thereabts that his office car he drives broke down, so I shd please come by his office, I laugh and say that is history repeating itself, so its me that shd come again and meet him, I say I am heading home, cuz I was at work too, He calls me and rants abt how truthful he is, I shd understand, he wants to make things right this time, he really had a car break down,
I dnt want to be evil, so I go to him. we talk abit, he lets me in on his life and plans etc.

next few weeks, same ish, same me complaining, weekends come and go, its either he is sick or goes to work sunday, one excuse or the other, there was sallah break he traveled all through the days of the break, suffice to say in all the months I have still known this dude he never made time for us, only genuine thing abt him is we chat through the day, tells me where he is whats up with him when he gets home etc. One weekened he says his cousin is traveling to France and the guy wants him and his siblings around, IF he finishes at that visit ontime we will see, so seeing is always tied around a condition, and it still wnt even happen.

2months into second phase, I still dnt know physical location of his house and now I change jobs so he never got to know my office which was closer to him. I tell myself this isnt still working ... ontop of that he goes almost incommunicado for a week anddznt respond to messages, when he comes back, says he had some family issues that shook him which he could not share... That sort of breaks the bond however small left which I had to him.

Other funny traits he has, even when I said my salary wasnt paid on time and I dont have credit or I am so broke, he never helps out, now before anyone attacks saying girls like money, no I spend my own money, and almost everytime I visited him I would buy him something, He has never bought me anything, or spent a naira for me, not even during the first phase when had my birthday, he did not even see me that day either.

So are my demands too high? At this stage I am not even remembering he exists after he pulled the something happened to him that he cant share move, since I am not that much a part of his life... I am happy to be able to forget him naturally but I still respond to his hellos, I dnt want to be bitter and angry like the first time I want to treat him like an old friend.

When one is searching for love, this can be some of the humiliating experiences. Please your thoughts, and no insults people.

One question...


What's making you to keep holding on?

You have try your best my dear,allow another girl to try to maybe she might change him.

ok.

Stop wasting your time,leave,delete and move on. Thank God there is no way he could locate you..what happens when you marry him. Abeg,there is already a red light..

U tried to make it work bt he wsnt interested, tank God u hv moved on, beta offer coming ur way soonest.

Been there, done that. Not worth the stress.

Fabsis you spent up to six months on this guy including the breakup. A man who loves a woman and truly wants to be with her will skip a business meeting for her, he will lie that he is sick just to get 1 day with you. I'm saying this because i have done it before.
.
This guy isnt ready yet, his career is his major proirity and you deserve someone better than that. Dont give him another chance because you have value and you running around, calling and spending might make him think otherwise.

Workaholics... Even on weekends? @Op why not try visiting him at home? I would have made effort to visit him at home when he complained of being sick. Unless he's hiding something.

logically reasoning either the dude is married or he just enjoys ya attention
why are you so bent on making this work? is this what love is all about?

Adaumunocha:
Workaholics... Even on weekends? @Op why not try visiting him at home? I would have made effort to visit him at home when he complained of being sick. Unless he's hiding something.

babe am sick o

Money first.

someone should quote me when it hit fp. . . . . . . ....
. . . . check my signature ⬇️⬇️⬇️

From your first month or two into the relationship, you already had a clue of what you were getting into. His job is too demanding, and he doesn't know how to manage the time between this job and his relationship. He can't resign just because of a lady, you either stick around and endure it or quit.

.gosh she should get a job and let the guy be
If he gives her time now and quits his job .. she will also moan

na this kin Guy I dey like seff

kimbraa:
From your first month or two into the relationship, you already had a clue of what you were getting into. His job is too demanding, and he doesn't know how to manage the time between this job and his relationship. He can't resign just because of a lady, you either stick around and endure it or quit.

No matter how demanding his job is, he will make out time if he truly loves you.

IamSINZ:



No matter how demanding his job is, he will make out time if he truly loves you.

Should we now say he doesn't love her in this situation?. She has a choice to stop whining by quitting. If you complain too much; you become a nagging person.

newyorks:
babe am sick o

Locate any hospital close to u ASAP

L3G3ND:
logically reasoning either the dude is married or he just enjoys ya attention
why are you so bent on making this work? is this what love is all about?

Lady 'logically reasoning', well done o.

Adaumunocha:
Locate any hospital close to u ASAP

mi dr. said my cure is in u

Op forget him and move on.


Stop replying his hellos, I understand you trying to be matured and not bitter, blocking him doesn't mean you are bitter, you are just trying to move on, because it's obvious he's not into you.


Keep replying, before you know it he will waste your time for the third time.

Fabsis:
First phase of a seeming relationship with this guy, he works in IT yes they go home as late as 9-10pm daily, but even from the first week of the relationship I had to go visit him at his office which is just a stone throw from mine. The weekend meeting/date we were to have didn't happen because he said he was ill. He never set up a proper date, I know where he works, he never knew mine.

Every weekend became quarrels, because all he would say is I do plan for us to see, I wish to, I want to, It is my intention... words and words but no action, the only times we see are the 5 - 10 minutes when I stop by his workplace and he comes out and spares a moment because he is busy. I send him a facebook friend request, he does not respond for up to 2 weeks even though I keep telling him to accept the request.

Then I throw tantrums and say I will walk because I cannot imagine how a guy cannot meet me or make time, then he promises he will not go to work on a certain day I can come to his place, oh yeah I don't know his place either. I am always ready to create the time if it means us moving forward, so I am ready on the said day, its already a bit funny its his place he is saying I come, which means its still me going to him not him coming to me or we both meeting somewhere, but I still tag along. He pushes the meeting hour on the said day ahead he said he did not go to work, he keeps pushing the hour ahead till he says he is at a meeting maybe I will meet him after the meeting, @5pm day is almost over and he says why don't I come by his office? I simply ignore him, and I go home so dissapointed, let down and hurt. I tell him later (we mostly talk through chat) that I do not wish for him to contact me again, I do not want to be rude, but what he did that day tore me inside. So he kept trying to message I just block him, and try to get over it.

He did not call or maybe even try to locate me and explain, I expected that maybe he would do so since he always says he cares but not by actions. Over the next 3months once or twice he tries to chat I brush him off. He never physically knew where I live either.

On a certain evening he says goodevening, I respond, we start talking again, says I have been ruthless, that he wishes I understand how demanding their work is, even their bosses have problems with their wives. I say okay fine he is forgiven but in my mind I have no intention of continuing, he then keeps chatting asking me things like what have I eaten, I then tell him I uncomfortable with those questions I do not wish to waste my time or that of another person, I make it clear I am searching for a true and meaningful connection with someone which I can grow. He then says lets redifine everything and claims he wants a true relationship... I give in again, I tell him clearly no matter how busy u have to create time even if once a week, we have to spend time together. he agrees, all this talk on phone.

First saturday of second phase when we are supposed to meet , he claims he is coming to my office, calls me at 4 or thereabts that his office car he drives broke down, so I shd please come by his office, I laugh and say that is history repeating itself, so its me that shd come again and meet him, I say I am heading home, cuz I was at work too, He calls me and rants abt how truthful he is, I shd understand, he wants to make things right this time, he really had a car break down,
I dnt want to be evil, so I go to him. we talk abit, he lets me in on his life and plans etc.

next few weeks, same ish, same me complaining, weekends come and go, its either he is sick or goes to work sunday, one excuse or the other, there was sallah break he traveled all through the days of the break, suffice to say in all the months I have still known this dude he never made time for us, only genuine thing abt him is we chat through the day, tells me where he is whats up with him when he gets home etc. One weekened he says his cousin is traveling to France and the guy wants him and his siblings around, IF he finishes at that visit ontime we will see, so seeing is always tied around a condition, and it still wnt even happen.

2months into second phase, I still dnt know physical location of his house and now I change jobs so he never got to know my office which was closer to him. I tell myself this isnt still working ... ontop of that he goes almost incommunicado for a week anddznt respond to messages, when he comes back, says he had some family issues that shook him which he could not share... That sort of breaks the bond however small left which I had to him.

Other funny traits he has, even when I said my salary wasnt paid on time and I dont have credit or I am so broke, he never helps out, now before anyone attacks saying girls like money, no I spend my own money, and almost everytime I visited him I would buy him something, He has never bought me anything, or spent a naira for me, not even during the first phase when had my birthday, he did not even see me that day either.

So are my demands too high? At this stage I am not even remembering he exists after he pulled the something happened to him that he cant share move, since I am not that much a part of his life... I am happy to be able to forget him naturally but I still respond to his hellos, I dnt want to be bitter and angry like the first time I want to treat him like an old friend.

When one is searching for love, this can be some of the humiliating experiences. Please your thoughts, and no insults people.

if you can't cope with a man you let him go.

The both of you want different things. you want attention while he's too focused on his life to give that to u

Although most people in tech are usually busy and work alot but truth is no matter his schedule if he truly wants u he will make out time for you.

he will call you, hang out with you on weekends and treat you like the princess you are.

I turned down a business engagement that will yield significant profit for my fiancée when we needed the time for each other, to hang out and to see some movies in the cinema, not once but twice. if he is into you he will make out time even if it's on Sunday's. I wonder which work he will be doing on Sundays. na wa o

@ OP, one thing I'm very sure of is that the guy is not cheating on you. Just try to make it work and win him to yourself by being patient and persevere a little bit more. The man is yours for the taking if you can actually understand his job demand.

You should not have to beg for the time of someone who needs you or loves u. Why is he also not able to even buy her 100 naira recharge card even once. Why can't he share Information about what is going on with him... If you are searching for a loving relationship, this does not sound like it.

Lalas247:
.

You forgot to modify or you slept off? Kwanu, a sister needs the intelligence from that big brain of yours.

Your profile pic made me turn my laptop upside down by the way... hope we are safe?

FitnessDoctor:
Fabsis you spent up to six months on this guy including the breakup. A man who loves a woman and truly wants to be with her will skip a business meeting for her, he will lie that he is sick just to get 1 day with you. I'm saying this because i have done it before.
.
This guy isnt ready yet, his career is his major proirity and you deserve someone better than that. Dont give him another chance because you have value and you running around, calling and spending might make him think otherwise.

Awesome reply, in running after the wrong things we loose our value.

Brightgem:
Awesome reply, in running after the wrong things we loose our value.

Of course,

Does brightgem have a real name?

Fabsis:
First phase of a seeming relationship with this guy, he works in IT yes they go home as late as 9-10pm daily, but even from the first week of the relationship I had to go visit him at his office which is just a stone throw from mine. The weekend meeting/date we were to have didn't happen because he said he was ill. He never set up a proper date, I know where he works, he never knew mine.

Every weekend became quarrels, because all he would say is I do plan for us to see, I wish to, I want to, It is my intention... words and words but no action, the only times we see are the 5 - 10 minutes when I stop by his workplace and he comes out and spares a moment because he is busy. I send him a facebook friend request, he does not respond for up to 2 weeks even though I keep telling him to accept the request.

Then I throw tantrums and say I will walk because I cannot imagine how a guy cannot meet me or make time, then he promises he will not go to work on a certain day I can come to his place, oh yeah I don't know his place either. I am always ready to create the time if it means us moving forward, so I am ready on the said day, its already a bit funny its his place he is saying I come, which means its still me going to him not him coming to me or we both meeting somewhere, but I still tag along. He pushes the meeting hour on the said day ahead he said he did not go to work, he keeps pushing the hour ahead till he says he is at a meeting maybe I will meet him after the meeting, @5pm day is almost over and he says why don't I come by his office? I simply ignore him, and I go home so dissapointed, let down and hurt. I tell him later (we mostly talk through chat) that I do not wish for him to contact me again, I do not want to be rude, but what he did that day tore me inside. So he kept trying to message I just block him, and try to get over it.

He did not call or maybe even try to locate me and explain, I expected that maybe he would do so since he always says he cares but not by actions. Over the next 3months once or twice he tries to chat I brush him off. He never physically knew where I live either.

On a certain evening he says goodevening, I respond, we start talking again, says I have been ruthless, that he wishes I understand how demanding their work is, even their bosses have problems with their wives. I say okay fine he is forgiven but in my mind I have no intention of continuing, he then keeps chatting asking me things like what have I eaten, I then tell him I uncomfortable with those questions I do not wish to waste my time or that of another person, I make it clear I am searching for a true and meaningful connection with someone which I can grow. He then says lets redifine everything and claims he wants a true relationship... I give in again, I tell him clearly no matter how busy u have to create time even if once a week, we have to spend time together. he agrees, all this talk on phone.

First saturday of second phase when we are supposed to meet , he claims he is coming to my office, calls me at 4 or thereabts that his office car he drives broke down, so I shd please come by his office, I laugh and say that is history repeating itself, so its me that shd come again and meet him, I say I am heading home, cuz I was at work too, He calls me and rants abt how truthful he is, I shd understand, he wants to make things right this time, he really had a car break down,
I dnt want to be evil, so I go to him. we talk abit, he lets me in on his life and plans etc.

next few weeks, same ish, same me complaining, weekends come and go, its either he is sick or goes to work sunday, one excuse or the other, there was sallah break he traveled all through the days of the break, suffice to say in all the months I have still known this dude he never made time for us, only genuine thing abt him is we chat through the day, tells me where he is whats up with him when he gets home etc. One weekened he says his cousin is traveling to France and the guy wants him and his siblings around, IF he finishes at that visit ontime we will see, so seeing is always tied around a condition, and it still wnt even happen.

2months into second phase, I still dnt know physical location of his house and now I change jobs so he never got to know my office which was closer to him. I tell myself this isnt still working ... ontop of that he goes almost incommunicado for a week anddznt respond to messages, when he comes back, says he had some family issues that shook him which he could not share... That sort of breaks the bond however small left which I had to him.

Other funny traits he has, even when I said my salary wasnt paid on time and I dont have credit or I am so broke, he never helps out, now before anyone attacks saying girls like money, no I spend my own money, and almost everytime I visited him I would buy him something, He has never bought me anything, or spent a naira for me, not even during the first phase when had my birthday, he did not even see me that day either.

So are my demands too high? At this stage I am not even remembering he exists after he pulled the something happened to him that he cant share move, since I am not that much a part of his life... I am happy to be able to forget him naturally but I still respond to his hellos, I dnt want to be bitter and angry like the first time I want to treat him like an old friend.

When one is searching for love, this can be some of the humiliating experiences. Please your thoughts, and no insults people.

I work in a IT company App Development it's really stressful, even when home you're never not working you still have personal issues to face then comes personal projects you need to focus on, then if the person is too ambitious then yeah that's gonna happen also if the person is constantly bothered about money like me. You're gonna have a hard time getting their attention. However though it's not an excuse I still try to make time out for people in a way, just that am generally not a people's person however your guy is also stingy , anyone who gets me a gift will always be remembered by me because a lot of takers are out there. Focus your mind else where and do me a favour ask for his function in his company if he says one of the following please dump

1. DevOps
2. EFT Officer
3. Infrastructure

These guys never have time lol dump them please.

Brightgem:
Awesome reply, in running after the wrong things we loose our value.

Lol I thought women were looking for Career driven and ambitious men. I think OP should move on there are guys looking for her kind all the best.

FitnessDoctor:


You forgot to modify or you slept off? Kwanu, a sister needs the intelligence from that big brain of yours.

Your profile pic made me turn my laptop upside down by the way... hope we are safe?

Haha lol thought it would be hard to see in my phone when I turn upside down the screen rotates so no point
Yes o forgot to comment ..

Sorry dear, you are never in a relationship. That guy is married

If he claims too busy for you, then he has no business being in a relationship with you, women need attention and if not given another guy will give it to her. Tell him to balance his work life with his love life or no more relationship. Its stressful to be in a relationship with someone always claiming busy.

Busy doing what? busy doing nothing.

That guy doesn't love you.