majekdom2:
Life itself is a concept!

Nope, life is a reality. Reality is opposite of concept sort of

Humanistme:


stop spewing trash. what is the percentage of matriarchal societies compared to patriarchal ones.

Igboland and Yoruba land is European abi
?

Swaziland is also in America?

sense fall on you. yorubaland is matriachal

yeyerolling:
baby ur lyrics dey gv me orgasm, move bk to lag na , mk we marry

Suffering from Lagosphobia

Pidgin2:


Married to which race?

irrespective of the race ....she still belives in marriage and in the fact that one alone is not enough. we all need that special partner to pursue our dreams with.

besides there are many feminists of same race as her husband who would never want to marry her husband because they feel marriage is a bondage. it's all a mindset dear.

Afam4eva:
We're brought up to have divergent views on life. While some think education is paramount, others think that without marriage, they're not fulfilled. We should not always try to force our school on thought on other people. Not every woman will be financially independent. So, let's leave those who think marriage is supreme to follow their heart.

You didn't make any sense with this post.

supersystemsnig:



I agree, making women solely dependent on men make them subtly manipulated in many marriages. It is good for women to be educated, have a degree or two, or have standing so if a relationship turns toxic, they won't be left without covering. The law should be adjusted so no man can abscond or divorce a woman without financial cover for up to three years minimum. If this is done, i think many women will be protected. It can start with you, and not just social media enlightenment, craft laws about what you feel should change in the current system and push it through humanitarian bodies. Many of us support healthy functional happy marriages that can be achieved through modifying laws to the betterment of the lives of women...Start today my lady...

you are confusing being educated with success and impact. Bro, it's not about degree. Alakija no get degree oo, Oprah been no get degree before oo. It's about vision of purpose. Education can come useful. Education is not about degrees and certificates. If it were some of our politicians won't be what they are!

youngRx:


irrespective of the race ....she still belives in marriage and in the fact that one alone is not enough. we all need that special partner to pursue our dreams with.

besides there are many feminists of same race as her husband who would never want to marry her husband because they feel marriage is a bondage. it's all a mindset dear.

You spoke well, few words, but perfect delivery


Fantastico @ we all need that special partner to pursue our dreams with.



True @ besides there are many feminists of same race as her husband who would never want to marry her husband because they feel marriage is a bondage. it's all a mindset dear.


So if many carry marriage in their fantasies as an achievement, it is to attain their goals on the long term...Shikena...

Apogee14:
bearing fathers name is your own issue ? that is inconsequential. that applies all over the world. if you want to bear the womans name try planet mars. on planet earth all countries go by the name of the father. its biblical and universal law. nothing to do with patriarchy or matriarchy. matriarchy and patriarchy is in how you perceive the sexes and not in who bears whose name

I back out. Bye

majekdom2:
you are confusing being educated with success and impact. Bro, it's not about degree. Alakija no get degree oo, Oprah been no get degree before oo. It's about vision of purpose. Education can come useful. Education is not about degrees and certificates. If it were some of our politicians won't be what they are!

Education alleviates dependency. Many females are made to be dependent on their marriages and this leaves them exposed on the back side, pursue female education, skill acquisition and it will get better. Are you aware that in 1957, a bill was passed into law in U.S. that enabled couples get access to loan if they agreed to marry, and this greatly affected three generations in U.S. This bill paved the way into what we now call feminism, in fact feminism was rooted into the healthy marriages that was produced in the aftermath of this law. The truth is many men treat women as bad commodities in many marriages. If men are not ready for marriages, they should leave this women be. look around the society, marriages have turned to graveyards and many women die in it. Infact i know a man that beat his wife till she died from internal injury, and when she died, he carted her goods away, opened another store, and was using her business even after her death, everyone has people like this around,i'm so sure you can relate perfectly.


Much of the terrible marriages we have is because the male sees himself as the sole benefactor and abuses it because power is poorly managed by so many people. So there's need for societal restructuring, not in resources alone, but in how the law upholds and supports marriage...My two cent..What exactly is this argument about?

JamesReacher:
Thanks to the reasonableness of the husband.

and there are countless reasonable husbands all over the world.

as a matter of fact i am sexually artracted to women with noble dreams and would do anything to make sure the one i marry pursues hers to the very peak. so help me God.

JamesReacher:
Nope, life is a reality. Reality is opposite of concept sort of

Life is perceived as a concept that gets real with its events. Life is a concept bro

Hhhhhmmmmm


Education, marriage, career.

Are those the only things that define our lives?

How do feminists reconcile their worldview with their religious beliefs, specifically Christianity?

Untill we have a female in the Trinity, feminists should forget it.

Apogee14:
sense fall on you. yorubaland is matriachal

That is why the wife much worship all the male and female in laws whether they are younger than her doesn't matter.


That is also the reason why magun dey catch only the cheating wife never the cheating husband.

oh lest I forget divorced queen is soiled forever no man can have her, while the randy kings go on to have as many women as he wants.



matriarchy my foot.

Humanistme:


That is why the wife much worship all the male and female in laws whether they are younger than her doesn't matter.


That is also the reason why magun dey catch only the cheating wife never the cheating husband.

oh lest I forget divorced queen is soiled forever no man can have her, while the randy kings go on to have as many women as he wants.

It depends on the family to me. I advise females, go for a religious or educated family. Any of this would do. In many educated families, no one has time for the other, let alone torment a woman. The truth is the society just doesn't produced healthy people that can produce healthy marriages. Simple !!!

majekdom2:
lols, I looked at it broadly. More ladies being independent means more voice for the women. When you depend on someone solely for all your needs, there is a possibility that individual will abuse you especially if the individual is very unintelligent.

Now you're showing your true colours,
Typical nairaland male, a woman is always at fault, while we always find a way to excuse the excesses of the man.

Even if I or any woman depends on someone for all my needs, IT DOES NOT give them the freedom or right to abuse me, if they don't like supporting me or any woman, they can simply tell me they won't do it anymore and/or send me anyway, SIMPLE.
THERE IS NO EXCUSE AT ALL FOR A MAN TO ABUSE A WOMAN especially not because the woman is dependent in him,

There it has nothing to do with the woman, the woman is not at fault and shouldn't be made to change anything, that's victim blaming.

The problem is with the man and he should be made to change his sickening orientation that because a woman is dependent on him he can abuse her. He needs to change his orientation to one whereby no one deserves to be abused, no matter what

This was my point

supersystemsnig:



It depends on the family to me. I advise females, go for a religious or educated family. Any of this would do. In many educated families, no one has time for the other, let alone torment a woman. The truth is the society just doesn't produced healthy people that can produce healthy marriages. Simple !!!

if you don't understand the context of the discussion don't quote me.

supersystemsnig:



Education alleviates dependency. Many females are made to be dependent on their marriages and this leaves them exposed on the back side, pursue female education, skill acquisition and it will get better. Are you aware that in 1957, a bill was passed into law in U.S. that enabled couples get access to loan if they agreed to marry, and this greatly affected three generations in U.S. This bill paved the way into what we now call feminism, in fact feminism was rooted into the healthy marriages that was produced in the aftermath of this law. The truth is many men treat women as bad commodities in many marriages. If men are not ready for marriages, they should leave this women be. look around the society, marriages have turned to graveyards and many women die in it. Infact i know a man that beat his wife till she died from internal injury, and when she died, he carted her goods away, opened another store, and was using her business even after her death, everyone has people like this around,i'm so sure you can relate perfectly.


Much of the terrible marriages we have is because the male sees himself as the sole benefactor and abuses it because power is poorly managed by so many people. So there's need for societal restructuring, not in resources alone, but in how the law upholds and supports marriage...My two cent..What exactly is this argument about?

your assumption on being educated alleviating dependency is flawed. Many Nigerians are educated but has it affected us positively. We see education as means of escape. Education with no vision or purpose is WASTE. There are many educated ladies, Masters degree holder with no vision or purpose. My point both gender should have vision and purpose. You mentioned education as a problem solver.

Daeylar:


Now you're showing your true colours,
Typical nairaland male, a woman is always at fault, while we always find a way to excuse the excesses of the man.

Even if I or any woman depends on someone for all my needs, IT DOES NOT give them the freedom or right to abuse me, if they don't like supporting me or any woman, they can simply tell me they won't do it anymore and/or send me anyway, SIMPLE.
THERE IS NO EXCUSE AT ALL FOR A MAN TO ABUSE A WOMAN especially not because the woman is dependent in him,

There it has nothing to do with the woman, the woman is not at fault and shouldn't be made to change anything, that's victim blaming.

The problem is with the man and he should be made to change his sickening orientation that because a woman is dependent on him he can abuse her. He needs to change his orientation to one whereby no one deserves to be abused, no matter what

This was my point

obviously y are you kid that have little experience with humans. I just told you on average how a human will do when they are totally responsible for you. It is for both genders, male or female. Read through my post and understand.

[quote author=ivolt post=61347133]It is all about choice.
Don't marry someone who is not compatible with your worldview in the hope
that you will force them to change.

Your threats may work for a while but it will ultimately fail.
There is nothing wrong with some women thinking that marriage is the ultimate
achievement neither is it an abomination for some women to pursue financial independence,
it doesn't make any of the two group less of a woman.
[b]
It is a great injustice to try to force someone to live by your own standard.[/[/b]quote]

The bolded is exactly what feminists where female or male.
They blame society for certain standards they don't like, yet they are trying to destroy societal stability to impose their views on others.
View seen how bitter feminists are, they claim to fight for equality of the sexes but they surreptitiously fighting for female dominance especially in western societies where it started by rebels.

majekdom2:
your assumption on being educated alleviating dependency is flawed. Many Nigerians are educated but has it affected us positively. We see education as means of escape. Education with no vision or purpose is WASTE. There are many educated ladies, Masters degree holder with no vision or purpose. My point both gender should have vision and purpose. You mentioned education as a problem solver.

We are saying almost the same thing on this point, let's not argue. I don't disagree on this posture, however if many men have visions, women would fit into them. Technically, i believe females should fit into males and should trust their leadership The problem is many men have little or no vision of their life. Do you know that many men have never started and completed a project single-handedly into the age of 40 ? Then if the males have issues, then why should the females be spared? My brother, education alleviates dependency on males in marriages, and we should pursue helping women become more financially empowered.

Humanistme:



if you don't understand the context of the discussion don't quote me.

I seconded your point. But, thank you. No hard feelings

majekdom2:
obviously y are you kid that have little experience with humans. I just told you on average how a human will do when they are totally responsible for you. It is for both genders, male or female. Read through my post and understand.

LOL I get your point.

don't blame her tho I think is an idealist not a realist.

majekdom2:
obviously y are you kid that have little experience with humans. I just told you on average how a human will do when they are totally responsible for you. It is for both genders, male or female. Read through my post and understand.

Adult, please understand my post before quoting me, I beg you.

I'm talking about men alone, the op was talking about men alone,
I never said it doesn't happen, neither did I say it doesn't happen when women are the ones who have people dependent on them, I just condemned it in relation to what the op talked about which is men doing it to females because they (the females) are dependent on them.



Stop trying to twist my words.

Daeylar:


Adult, please understand my post before quoting me, I beg you.

I'm talking about men alone, the op was talking about men alone,
I never said it doesn't happen, neither did I say it doesn't happen when women are the ones who have people dependent on them, I just condemned it in relation to what the op talked about which is men doing it to females because they (the females) are dependent on them.



Stop trying to twist my words.

when you argue, argue with understanding, research and analysis. On average in Africa, how many women are responsible for their men. And how many men are responsible for their women? The number of the latter far exceeds the former. This is the reason for this post. This is AFRICA. No be yankee. When we are debating African issues, we can make inferences from the west but our assertions and judgments should be what's obtainable in Africa. this is why it is about the men. You can condemn but it really doesn't solve it. African women should learn to take charge of their lives

Humanistme:


That is why the wife much worship all the male and female in laws whether they are younger than her doesn't matter.


That is also the reason why magun dey catch only the cheating wife never the cheating husband.

oh lest I forget divorced queen is soiled forever no man can have her, while the randy kings go on to have as many women as he wants.



matriarchy my foot.

must the wife worship the inlaws ? it goes both ways, the husband must worship his inlaws too.

does magun catch cheating wife ? they also have magun that catches cheating husband

are divorced queens soiled forever ? not if she is very fine. a fine woman will always have men knocking on her door

Adaumunocha:
D only African society that I know of that is matriarchal is Ghana...

Ghana is not a matriarchal society.

It is only the Akan tribe which is martrilineal.

There is a difference between matriarchal and matrilineal societies

Adaumunocha:
I back out. Bye

bye. next time pick your battles. this one is not a battle. lol

majekdom2:
when you argue, argue with understanding, research and analysis. On average in Africa, how many women are responsible for their men. And how many men are responsible for their women? The number of the latter far exceeds the former. This is the reason for this post. This is AFRICA. No be yankee. When we are debating African issues, we can make inferences from the west but our assertions and judgments should be what's obtainable in Africa.

How is this related to what I posted?
You keep doing this, stick to my post.

Humanistme:


LOL I get your point.

don't blame her tho I think is an idealist not a realist.

Hmmmmmm

His point is that people should gain independence so that they will stop being abused,
My point is that even if people are not independent does not mean they should be abused. People should be taught not to abuse anyone that is dependent on them.

I really wonder why him and I are arguing.

Apogee14:
must the wife worship the inlaws ? it goes both ways, the husband must worship his inlaws too.

does magun catch cheating wife ? they also have magun that catches cheating husband

are divorced queens soiled forever ? not if she is very fine. a fine woman will always have men knocking on her door

no it doesn't go both ways

I havent seen the magun you are talking about.

As for your last point tell that to your people that were screaming it is our culture when wuraola fell out with Oba.

lest I forget do you trace your ancestry from your mother's side in Yoruba land?

Also is the women the head of the households in Yoruba families.

your head is stuck far up your ass that you don't know the meaning of matriachial.

DeRay98:

The bolded is exactly what feminists where female or male.
They blame society for certain standards they don't like, yet they are trying to destroy societal stability to impose their views on others.
View seen how bitter feminists are, they claim to fight for equality of the sexes but they surreptitiously fighting for female dominance especially in western societies where it started by rebels.

Sorry, I don't agree with any of your claims because you
didn't even get what feminism is about.
I am a male feminist.

Which do you think is a greater threat to a woman?
a husband who ruled that his wife must never work
outside or an unknown writer on the internet who
encourages women to seek financial independence?

The problem with many men who berates "feminist" at any
opportunity is that they want all women to think and
behave the same because they are threatened by any woman
who refuses to "stay in her place".

Then I submit that such men should go for women who want
to be ruled instead of whining about feminists who aren't pointing
gun to anybody's head or threatening physical violence.

You see to the slave traders of the 18th century the abolitionist were
seen as bitter and fighting for slave dominance when all they preached
is that you cannot own a human being an adult be allowed to decide their
own future.

The problem with the OP is that he didn't factor the woman's choice into
his writing, the same thing you did in your response. There is nothing wrong
with a woman seeking equality, all you have to do is avoid such person and
go for submissive hero-worshippers(if that is the kind of partner you like).
No need berating or using condescending words on people who don't agree
with you.

Unless, you are dealing with an uncivilized partner, trying to control an
adult's destiny against their wish won't end well.

Daeylar:


Hmmmmmm

His point is that people should gain independence so that they will stop being abused,
My point is that even if people are not independent does not mean they should be abused. People should be thought not to abuse anyone that is dependent on them.

I really wonder why him and I are arguing.

I get your point. But in the real world there are narcissists and bad people that take advantage of people not privileged as them or who depend on them. So being independent is a positive trait. it is easier for an independent woman to leave an abusive relationship that it for the one that is dependent.