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Success couples are open to themselves in their relationships. Openness has to do with expressing your real feelings.
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In a successful relationship you express your feelings without fear or intimidation of any kind. You are free to be yourself. Fear of rejection may keep you silent instead of expressing yourself. You can get angry at him or her and say what you really feel about an unpleasant situation or word spoken by your partner. You can laugh or cry as you feel like without pretense. Where emotions are bottled up and not expressed, the relationship will be one of pretense; it is just a matter of time before it runs into big problems. Even if things look great on the outside, there will be very strong underground currents of dissatisfaction and discontent waiting for an opportune moment to explode. Such unexpected feelings compound with time and become greater than what they initially were.
For instance, your partner may make promises he or she never keeps. He or she always has ready made alibis and because you don't want to cause any strain in your relationship, you decide to swallow your resentment and keep quite about his or her behavior. However, as time passes by, these resentments will Begin to grow in your mind, poisoning other areas of the relationship that are okay. You may begin to question the genuineness of his or her professed love for you and eventually become emotionally disconnected from your partner. To avoid such problems, learn to express your feelings in the very best possible way you can without hurting your partner's feelings.
Openness also has to do with being yourself. Some people in an attempt to get married decide to cover up their real character and present a facade to the guy or lady they are interested in. This may seem innocuous at first until their partner begins to demand a higher level of commitment from them, that is when they realize that their facade can no longer hold up in the relationship.
I have heard some ladies say that they will pretend, get married to a guy, then later in the marriage, change into their real selves. What they don't realize is that they have planned for their divorce (if they ever get married) before they get married.
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Some guys also come to the church to find a good and decent lady to get married to. They pretend to be very spiritual and get committed to some visible department in church. Some gullible and naive ladies look at these guys and think that are God's gift from heaven to them. Without checking up on their track record, they go ahead and develop a relationship with them only to discovered latter on that the guys were faking it. By the time they discover this pretense, some ladies are already in too deep and they just decide to go ahead and get married in spite of what they discovered.
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My brothers and sisters reading this article, If you are pretending to be who you are not in order to attract and marry a rich guy or a beautiful and successful lady, you are digging a deep pit for yourself. Your relationship will be full of problems. Pretense make the relationship shallow and superficial. You will feel that there is something wrong but you may not be able to put your finger on it. One person pretense will cause the other to begin to withdraw commitment to the relationship.
It will create doubt, uncertainties and fears in the mind of his or her partner and it will eventually ruin the relationship.
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Successful relationship are built on truth and integrity. Both partners are not ashamed to reveal who they really are. They even go as far as talking about the mistake they made in the past so there are no surprise awaiting them in the future. Secrets have a way of being discovered or exposed by someone. It is better for your partner to disclose to you in private that she once committed abortion or that he was a player outside sources. The impact is almost always devastating and may ruin the relationship no matter how far you've gone in it.