Two years ago I had a son by Oi ... we were in our third in the university. we were into a relationship since our first year. I told my mother (my dad is dead 10 years now) in her seventh month and she informed Oi's parents herself. Though she wasnt very happy ... she did not dwell on it. My siblings were supportive. I wanted to marry her outrightly but my mum strongly disagreed and suggested we should give it four more years before we do. Oi came from a polygamus home from the Eastern part of Nigeria. Her mum is the first wife without a male issue she has three daugters of which Oi is the last. The Second wife has a Son. Once during my visit before the child was born, Her step mother and her step-sister called me aside and adviced me to marry her immediately or risk lossing my child if she gives birth at home. Oi did not miss an academic year as she had to do her IT from her 8th month till the 6th month. She left the baby with the mother. We continued our relationship and She graduated a year before me. In our fifth year we started having frequent disagrements and after a long discussion mutually agreed to give each other a chance to "Breathe Fresh air" so as to be sure that

1) for me: That I did not build my world around her out of pity
2) For her: That she did not stick to me out of lost hopes
3) For Both of us: Not to crowd each other

The first month I called her frequently but she changed her number without telling me and did not call me back. I had to travel to her place out of worry and found out. The second month, I decided to really stop worrying.
three months ago, I got into another relationship and told Oi about it, i also told the new girl as well about Oi and the baby.

My worry is this Oi, always behaves as if the whole thing is not an issue with her. It frightens me at times even at the height of the pregnancy she asked me several times to go that "She could handle it alone" and it is not that the parents are rich. I do go to visit the Child every month am not restricted access but she is so detached.

MY new girl suggested that the baby is not mine (because it was Our (Oi and I) first intercourse after a vacation) and she is trying to free her conscience ...

I really need you folks help ... I do not know

I don't think having a new girl is the RIGHT thing to do. From what i read, yourself and Oi didn't break up. You guys just needed "space".

Oi will deffinitely be angry that you have a girlfriend now. I am guessing she doesn't have a boyfriend yet and she is really trying to think things out. But YOU now have a girlfriend and you still want the child? Hunnie.. i think you're going to loose your son. I am not wishing you bad, seriously i am not. But you need to consider the fact that Oi didn't tell you to go and meet other women. You said it clearly that you guys seperated because u needed space.

You didn't specify how long you waited before you got into another relationship. And did you ask Oi before you went ahead to get a new girlfriend?

A woman will always tell you there's no WORRY. No problem is like meal to women. "I can handle it" is their daily pills. They drink the words "I am woman enough to take care of things".

Hey.. what do i know? Let the elders come and say something.

She did actually say i could go ahead and live my life. It took us roughly 6 months from the period of making the decision to have "Space" to be able to effect it and i started the new relationship about 3 months later

I think you're about to lose your son unless you act fast. You need to have a heart to heart talk with her about what is going on. If she is not forth coming, talk to her mother or anybody in her family who you think will tell you the truth about what is going on. I think so many things can be resolved through communications. However, before you do any talking, I think you need to identify what you want and what your expectations are concerning the kid and the mother. Use that as the basis of your talk and please try and be sincere. I think sincerity breeds sincerity. I wish you best of luck.

i think pluto04 is right.

need to think about this one. Will get back to you on

my dear i think i understand your fear about losing ur son. if i'm not mistaken, ur girl is igbo, and the tradition holds that because you didnt pay for her bride price before she gave birth you cant lay claim to the baby and that the son actually belong to the girls father. (correct me if i'm wrong)
Now, this is really very tricky as it appears to me oi isnt really forthcoming about her real feelings. like HA said, girls say its ok when its really not ok. i think, she got a lot of pride and hates to think you'd marry her only for the sake of the baby hence she put on that i-dont-care-one-way-or-the-other attitude.
you've got real issue to deal with here. you have to come to terms about ur feelings for oi. you really need to work that out b4 moving on.
i think oi is bitter cos she wants you to love her for her and not cos of the baby and she's hiding her bitterness/hurt well.
as to your new girl saying the kid isnt yours, i think she's talking trash. totally and selfishly biased.
you've got to sit with oi and be completely honest and pray she does same with you.
best of luck.

Your new girl suggesting the baby is yours only shows shes a malicious,mean thing. As for oi, talk to her. Like bagoma said,she just doesnt want it to be like its cos of the kid youre still with her. Women are different and we have lots of issues. She is going through a phase now. She needs space to think things through. Keep in touch with her but do not crowd her. For your sons sake,try a little harder and be patient. If after a while she doesnt come about her attitude, then you could end it. You cant stop your life cos of her. But I will advise you to look for some other nice girl .That your so called new gal is not a goood person to insinuate to you that your child isnt yours.

clark, "its not over until its over" so dont give up.............the baby is yours! just keep on pressin Oi ,i believe she dance to your tune very soon. best of luck broda!

Any updates to this story?

i pray u dont lose him

Where is GbagoClark? Biko, Maazi how far now?

GbagoClark:
Two years ago I had a son by Oi ... we were in our third in the university. we were into a relationship since our first year. I told my mother (my dad is dead 10 years now) in her seventh month and she informed Oi's parents herself. Though she wasnt very happy ... she did not dwell on it. My siblings were supportive. I wanted to marry her outrightly but my mum strongly disagreed and suggested we should give it four more years before we do. Oi came from a polygamus home from the Eastern part of Nigeria. Her mum is the first wife without a male issue she has three daugters of which Oi is the last. The Second wife has a Son. Once during my visit before the child was born, Her step mother and her step-sister called me aside and adviced me to marry her immediately or risk lossing my child if she gives birth at home. Oi did not miss an academic year as she had to do her IT from her 8th month till the 6th month. She left the baby with the mother. We continued our relationship and She graduated a year before me. In our fifth year we started having frequent disagrements and after a long discussion mutually agreed to give each other a chance to "Breathe Fresh air" so as to be sure that

1) for me: That I did not build my world around her out of pity
2) For her: That she did not stick to me out of lost hopes
3) For Both of us: Not to crowd each other

The first month I called her frequently but she changed her number without telling me and did not call me back. I had to travel to her place out of worry and found out. The second month, I decided to really stop worrying.
three months ago, I got into another relationship and told Oi about it, i also told the new girl as well about Oi and the baby.

My worry is this Oi, always behaves as if the whole thing is not an issue with her. It frightens me at times even at the height of the pregnancy she asked me several times to go that "She could handle it alone" and it is not that the parents are rich. I do go to visit the Child every month am not restricted access but she is so detached.

MY new girl suggested that the baby is not mine (because it was Our (Oi and I) first intercourse after a vacation) and she is trying to free her conscience ...

I really need you folks help ... I do not know

typical naija lady,the bb!tch cheated on you and is try to free her conscience hence her actions,the boy is not your son.Oi is a b!tch. Oi,what a name!