Krissykriss:

Candylips, i dont support divorce. Even if u divorce her, u'll end up marrying another one as 'good' as her. Thats why i said its d beginning of d end of your life.

Martin, no matter how positive u are about marriage, u'll end up in d same place - pretending to be happy while u're clearly not. No be girl u go marry? Wait till u get married; u'll remember these words of mine one day in your life.

"No b girl u go marry"---meaning they r evil or what?make me understand.

^^^^Never said they're evil. They're just unbelievable (mostly after marriage). So as long as u are gon get married to a girl, expect enuff "tribulation in d flesh". Doesnt mean i aint getting married; just wanna make sure i'm ready. It aint easy having to pretend for such a lengthy time.

personally, I am not for marriage and I dont intend to get married. I wouldnt get married cos others are doing it. NO! Its just not for me cos am not ready to carry someone elses burden. Am a self absorded kind of person. But I will have a kid who will assist me later in life. Adopted or biological.

@eina, Hmmmmm. I'm in no way discouraging guys from getting married o!

@Poster

This is 100% true and it's unfortunate.I am in a relationship of over three years and even if i decide to get married, it would be when I AM READY to be married.In today's world, marriage revolves around the woman 80%, 19.9% for the kids and 0.01% for you.It's like you're throwing away your entire life to live for just her and kids.Everything is about her,her,kids,kids,her,her,her,kids,her.You are totally out of the picture.If you need to buy something good for yourself, she will remind you of something you have not done for her or the kids but when it comes to her needs, you must comply.It's a complete one-way relationship.The woman i'm with now acts like she's a harmless angel but i know deep down that she will turn into something else once we exchange rings.I'm not rushing into marriage for anything.It's nothing but unhappiness and bondage!

Period!

@harakiri, Thanks 4 understanding. Most guys know its true, yet they come here to say 'God forbid'. God forbid what? Its definitely gon happen d way u (harakiri) said it. After d moments i termed "beautiful moments", its then all about d woman. Its an ugly truth that all men will forever live with.

This is a very good topic you raised here. @Poster thank you for that counsel. Please is it possible to hire a woman to make children for me? I would love to raise children, and watch them grow to become role models to their generation, teaching them values. I don't believe in marriage, because i see women as intimacy gadgets(No offence). I virtually have no value for them. How can I spend the rest of my life with a woman, which woman, is it not going to come from these girls that spend weekends with me? Please only @Poster or Harakiri should reply me. PLEASE!!!

@Mee, i dont discourage marriage (afterall i'm gon get married 1 day). Just opening ur eyes to d reality of getting married.

Count me in too o.I believe in marriage,and would someday get married to a very wonderful man.

Ebonyeyes:

Good for you, now let people like me who still believe in the institution breath

u believe in the institution of marriage? i couldn't tell

kemisuga:

@ poster - If I may ask, wat are responsible for the man unhappiness after marriage?
Cos I believe 80% of Men that got married are looking robust and fresher than before they are married. Which signifies rest in mind.

wrong! u are probably in nigeria that's why u say such

Kgdavid:

don't bring religion into it cause paul also said it is better to be unmarried

funny enough we studied that in church today

marriage isnt a big deal as far as im concerned or probably abit overrated if u ask me bt if u find da rite person it becomes worth it. u digg

jaxxy:

marriage isnt a big deal as far as im concerned or probably abit overrated if u ask me bt [b]if u find da rite person it becomes worth it. u digg [/b]

only if u find the right person

Who doesnt get married to d right person? U're d perfect match when u just got married. What happens after d good beginning is what we (guys) all are afraid of. Well, we're gon get married afterall.

I don't think marriage is the end. It's just that some people have their own ideology of marriage. If you don't want to get married, please don't, there is no written law that states everyone should get married. That is why divorce rates have gone up, everyone in a hurry to get married thinking it's all roses after.

Badrriyah, All i'm trying to do is make sure guys know what to expect and reduce divorce rate. But must girls cause guys misery?

marriage is a beautiful thing, when u married to the right person dou.

Krissy and harikiri got it wrong, the situation u just decribed will happen if u get married to the wrong person. This is why marrying your best friend is so important, someone who understands you, someone who is willing to give as well as receive, someone who will love and stand by you in good and bad times. Guys and Girls take the time to know your chosen partners before committing your whole life to them. It's not by force to get married ooh.

@abekeade08, So u thought I just woke from sleep and raised this thread? Believe me, i've considered all d possible outcomes of a marriage & it all boils down to what my thread says. I've said it before, i should be doing marriage counselling! U think it was a joke when i said that too, abi? I've seen all types of unions - bestfriends, chilhood friends, to keep d friendship btw to families running, boy knocks girl up, by force marriage, gold digging boy/girl, older girl, when d girl is too young, parents arrangee, of d same village, same tribe, different tribes, different nationalities, celebrities, love at first sight (tho i dont believe in love), etc etc (time will fail me). They all boil down to what my thread says. Only sincere married ppl will tell u d truth. Guess i've seen & known much within this short period of time i've enjoyed on this planet.

the key is to marry the right person.

Nobody said that marriage was a walk in the park, one of the many keys to a happy marriage is tolerance

Tolerance. I like that. Do u tolerate what u like or d ones u dont? We are saying d same thing - once a guy gets married, apart from d happy times, he'll tolerate, things he maybe wouldnt when single, for d rest of his life. He'll live d rest of his life (tolerating) trying to please 1 woman - his wife. U live just few percent of ur life for u while doing d much larger part for d woman. Is it not d end of ur life? Are u not just living for the woman?

davidylan:

the key is to marry the right person.

ibkaye:

Nobody said that marriage was a walk in the park, one of the many keys to a happy marriage is tolerance

Shock Horror!!!!
Two sensible posts back to back which unfortunately is now a rarity on NL

Yawns!!!!

Krissykriss:

Tolerance. I like that. Do u tolerate what u like or d ones u dont? We are saying d same thing - once a guy gets married, apart from d happy times, he'll tolerate, things he maybe wouldnt when single, for d rest of his life. He'll live d rest of his life (tolerating) trying to please 1 woman - his wife. U live just few percent of your life for u while doing d much larger part for d woman. Is it not d end of your life? Are u not just living for the woman?

urrgh, I have a response for you but I'm being lazy tonight

@ krissy, i still think you are wrong and your arugment is very one sided. Men and women have to tolerate each other and and marriage is a equal sharing of lives. Just as the man has to live his life for wife, so will the wife live her life for her husband. Maybe I am jaded cos I have wonderful role models in my parents, they spend all of their time together, my father neva does anything without talking to my mother first, this tells me he respects and values her opinion. Till today, they still run around the house playing with each other, it's common place for  me and my siblings to enter my parents room early in the morning and see my father holding my mom while they sleep and my father is in his sixties.  The last time I went home on vacation, I remember coming home from hanging out wih friends, my father was sitting on a couch and my mom was on the carpet in between his legs. , his fingers was playing in her hair and they were just sitting like that watching tv. This is after 35 years of marriage. I am not trying to paint a cinderella story here as they have thier arguments like any other couple, but there is deep respect, trust and abiding love between my parents. I am sure if you asked my father if his marriage was the end of his life, I am sure he would tell you it was the beginning of his life. Just my 2 cents.

Abekeade08:

Krissy and harikiri got it wrong, the situation u just decribed will happen if u get married to the wrong person. This is why marrying your best friend is so important, someone who understands you, someone who is willing to give as well as receive, someone who will love and stand by you in good and bad times. Guys and Girls take the time to know your chosen partners before committing your whole life to them. It's not by force to get married ooh.

there are many who got married to their best friends and it still went south

Abekeade08, That story of urs isnt needed. Did u read my thread? Pls do again. I said REALLY happy. Those things u mentioned doesnt necessarily entail REAL happiness. U can be fakely happy. Real happiness comes naturally & it happens just those 2 moments i mentioned in my thread once a guy gets married. U dnt expect ur dad to tell u, do u?

Well since u don't know my parents you obviously cannot tell me if they are really happy or not. The point is that you totally believe your own statement that marriage is the end of life that's why you don't want to hear any other fact that puts doubts on your own story. I know my parents, I know the sacrifices they have made to be together. They are utterly devoted to each other and I know for a fact that they are really happy.

You stated earlier that men are expected to give their whole life to their wife and kids and I countered your point telling you that marriage is an equal sharing of both lives. Both men and women are supposed to devote their lives to each other and striveto build a happy home. My own mother who is not Nigerian  left her country to follow my father to Nigeria and didn't see her family for 18 years straight. If that is not love and devotion, I don't know what is.  Incase you are thinking my mom didn't see parents because of lack of money, let me just tell you that my father sent all 5 of his kids overseas  for college.

Exactly! And since i dont know ur parents, u dont expect me to believe they're truly happy. Enuff stories about ur family. Nobody s gon tell a stranger/announce on a public forum that his/her family aint d best. U'll understand how 'happy' ur dad was when u get married. Ur husband will be as happy as ur dad. Then u will know that ur dad wasnt really happy.

Well u you just proved my point,  You only want to believe your own one sided point of view that's why you don't want to hear about my parents HAPPY marriage. There are sad stories all over Nl about broken homes and unhappy families, so stop that claptrap about people telling only good stories on a public forum.

Lol don't worry about my own future married life, I have had good role models. Can't say the same for you though. With your mentality being the way it is, I already feel sorry for your own future married life.

Believe me, i'm gonna have d best of marriages. I know what to expect & what not to. Maybe ur dad was like me afterall; thats why u think he's really happy. My kids are definitely gon be proud of me just like u're proud of ur dad.

Lol My dad sure ain't like you. He will never say anything as pessimistic as marriage is the beginning of the end. He is very wise, loved and very respected. If you get to be half the man my father is, then you will will have attained sucess, love and respect of your family and peers. I glad that u have perceived how proud I am to have the father I have. I too pray to marry a man just like my father.