The problem: Traditional dating advice has been leading us on a wild goose chase, one that leads away from the possibility of real, healthy love, says Ken Page, the author of Deeper Dating. Relationships are built on authenticity and connection, he explains. And if you’re constantly on edge, playing hard to get, and worrying about your appearance, you’re not going to be taking advantage of the science-backed traits that really attract love and intimacy. And the best news? You probably already have them.

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