There is never a dull day in Zimbabwe, so long as Robert Mugabe, who always have a way with words, remains the president, or so social media would have you believe. When it comes to quotable quotes, not even legendary author and humorist Mark Twain and other greats like Albert Einstein, Winston Churchill or Mahatma Ghandi have anything on him. Doubting? Sample the following latest funny quotes attributed to the Zimbabwean president.

"In Africa, the only warning they take seriously is ‘low battery’.” “Zimbabweans, let us respect pregnant women for it is not easy to carry around evidence of sex in public.” “Girls, learn to take care of yourselves. Some men will use you, use your body, ruin your reputation and then marry a beautiful woman and get born again. And as if that is not enough, use you as testimony in church.”

“We are living in a generation where people ‘in love’ are free to touch each other’s private parts, but are not allowed to touch each other’s phones because they are private.” “Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a broke man who is extremely good in bed.” “The only thing that scares me about marriage is that you have to wake up earlier on the wedding day.” “No matter how men shake their ‘thing’ after urinating, the last drop is always reserved for the boxers.”

“Ladies, don’t be deceived by a man who text you “I miss you” only when it’s cold or raining….you are neither an umbrella nor a jacket.” “Kenyans are good runners because corruption is always chasing them.” “We are all born mad, but some decides to remain so.” “The size of a socialite’s backside is indirectly proportional to the size of her brain.”

“Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the devil always comes along and gives you a ‘girlfriend’.” “I stopped trusting women when my class three girlfriend left me for another boy, all because he bought a sharpener with a mirror.”

“Witchcraft is when a 24-year-old girl who cannot jog for five minutes expects a 40-year-old man to last for an hour in action.” “If you are a married man and you find yourself attracted to school girls, just buy your wife a school uniform.” “Vi_rginity is [url=hhhbh]See more... [/url]

funny man.
This man must be intelligent.

joker man

Mugabe is good, intelligent, fearless but selfish and stupid.

No be Mugabe talk all these ones na.

Mugabe quotes are always useful

Zimbabwe

CaptainJeffry:
Mugabe is good, intelligent, fearless but selfish and stupid.

Bros these your grammatical expression is contradicting oo
Abi no be grammar u use so? I no do GNS o

lol

A potential immortal man in the hearts of men is disgraced because he's a mortal man -- be selfless in service

Old age finally caught up with him. His dependency on his wife made him lose focus

CaptainJeffry:
Mugabe is good, intelligent, fearless but selfish and stupid.

lol...captain jef