The girl I dated and broke up with her has been visiting me for sometimes now with her new boy friend. I stay in same area with her new boy friend and this her new boy friend who is also in same class with her (now graduates) used to come to my place and watch match with friends. When I broke up with my ex, the guy stopped coming to watch match in my place and started going to viewing centre. I later found out that two of them have started dating. Whenever I see the guy he would be nervous to see me. One day I called him and told him that am not against his relationship with my ex, afterall I broke up with her, so she has every right to date anybody she wants. I told the guy that my ex is a nice girl and that I pray it will work out well for the two of them

Why We Broke Up:
My ex like I told his new boy friend is a very nice girl, she is always cheerful and always friendly with people. Nobody is perfect, so there is no way you expect to see all the good qualities you want in a person in your partner but there must be one or two you must wish that your partner should possess while every other qualities can be waved off. That particular qaulity that you want may not be what another person wants in his or her partner. My ex lacks that one quality I wish to see in my partner and am not sure I can cope with that. I don't date only for fun any more, I also date for future because my mates are getting married, so I plan for future too. All the years I have been dating her, I tried all I could to know if she can change or possess a little of it but no way, instead she was getting worse. Am not perfect either but am sure I was her choice and kind of guy, that was why I had to fight to make sure I made her see what I wanted but it was obvious she couldn't possess even 1% of that quality or change a bit.
Her attitude when she is broke is something am not sure any man can withstand unless you are a millionaire which I am not, so I think the kind of guy that will suit her is the type that will always be giving out money even when he is broke, am still a young growing guy or the type that she can be giving money who will allow her do whatever she can to get money.
When she gets angry here, you will be like; who is this please? Because it will be obvious that another spirit has possessed her and she cannot control herself at that moment. She can say or do anything that moment. So, I think the kind of guy she wants is someone that can tolerate any kind of negative words, slap, shouting, uncontollable mood whenever she is angry which I cannot. I heard she is now the one giving money to her new guy and in control which I don't know where she gets because I know her family background very well. She has chosen to be living life the way she wants it whether the boy friend likes it or not. The last time they came to my place, the new boy friend was complaining to me that she refuses telling him her phone password and that she doesn't like the guy going to her phone, I was like "hmmmmm"

Am not here to start talking about her bad qualities, the truth is; I could not withstand majority of her qualities even the least I desire most in a woman, so I had to quit.
Before we broke up, she started having problems with me over what she said she heard from my friends who do come to my place to watch match or charge their phones especially when there is no light. That one guy who always comes to my place to watch match whom she knows very well has been telling her that I cheat on her, that girls do come to my place all the time, etc. I was like, could it be that her classmate whom she later started dating that would be feeding her with all those lies then because I have never cheated on that girl for once. I hate double-dating and I hating cheating.

One day I got a call from her that I should visit her in her new place, it didn't go down well with me to pay her such visit, so I just said no problem but I never went.
One day, I had a knock on my door, it was my ex with her new boy friend. I was surprised. I welcomed them and she was like...she just wanted to surprise me. The boy friend was like..that the girl has been disturbing that she wants to go and visit me and he chose to come with her; am sure the guy could not stop her instead he has to come with her to avoid anything to happen. If you can't win them, you join them. This thing has happened like 3 times now both of them coming to see me. I would be expecting them to have serious thing to say that brings them but no way, the girl will just be changing dstv programme and be watching while I just discuss guys thing like soccer with the boy friend until she is ready to go. I have never seen this kind of thing before. She will be busy asking me about my girl friend and relationship, I will just be smilling.

I don't know if her visits are to mock me that she is comfortable with her new boy friend or to show me that she is incharge and in control of the guy because she bosses the guy around. Could it be that she wants something from me or what, am just confused because I have never seen this kind of thing before or imagine myself following my girl to her ex's place all the time. Please, who has anything to say about this? Thanks

What kinda love triangle is this? If your story is completely true, then I can see why you got tired. The girl has issues, issues different from the violent trait and materialism you noted. I'm sure you have added weight since you guys broke up

Her visits are to mock you, but it is coming from a place of hurt. She still misses you, that's why she sees the need for all that drama. I just pity the mumu guy she is using as a pawn.

I also think you're docile or should I say, she thinks you're docile. She has the guts to play such games around you, because she doesn't respect you and has never respected you. Both you and her current guy are the fools to her so far. Be the greater man and warn that girl not to involve you in childish paroles. This is really childish!

Cut all contacts with her if you can, I dont get why she is trying to show off or stunt with her new man

ChiefPiiko:

What about my promise

3some loading

This one pass me jaee

Na wa o...I have never seen this kind of thing too

Friend zone loading

Op ta lo fe fi epistle yi kpa?

Your story long but

They are giving u green light for 3some

Grab it now

I know those that didn't read this epistle
Yes, u are guilty; so am I

Lol


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pocohantas:
What kinda love triangle is this?

If your story is completely true, then I can see why you got tired. The girl has issues. I'm sure you have added weight since you guys broke up

Her visits are to mock you, but it is coming from a place of hurt. She still misses you, that's why she sees the need for all that drama. I just pity the mumu guy she is using as a pawn.

I think you're docile, for her to have the guts to play such games around you, it tells a lot about how she views you. Both you and her ex are the fools to her so far. Be the greater man and warn that girl not to involve you in childish paroles.

Thanks a lot for your good comments. I may be docile but not a fool. One thing she used to hate about me then is that I always don't give her any opportunity or room to mess up and she saw it as being "over protected" and "restricted"

what promise?

biacan:
What about my promise

teresafaith:
Op ta lo fe fi epistle yi kpa?

No wonder..

ChiefPiiko:
what promise?

That you will take me to quilox these weekend

Pope22:


I may be docile but not a fool. One thing she used to hate about me then is that I always don't give her any opportunity or room to mess up and she saw it as being "over protected" and "restricted"

But she is messing with you and you ain't done nothing about it. She goes home feeling like a dominatrix, controlling two grown up men.
Please, she can be foolish in her house, but she shouldn't bring it to you. That's total disrespect for your person.

If you wanna be soft, warn her privately to stop the games.
If you wanna be disrespectful like her, allow them mumu and come. Then look her in the eye and ask why she keeps coming. Her response would determine yours. You might help us deliver the current guy from emotional abuse.

I am no where near Lagos and no immediate plan to visit

biacan:
That you will take me to quilox these weekend

ChiefPiiko:
I am no where near Lagos and no immediate plan to visit

Chief how about me coming to Abuja these weekend

My bank account isn't smiling but I am expecting a tidy sum pretty soon, you will be my pastor i will pay my tithe to you

biacan:
Chief how about me coming to Abuja these weekend

pocohantas:


But she is messing with you and you ain't done nothing about it. She goes home feeling like a dominatrix, controlling two grown up men.
Please, she can be foolish in her house, but she shouldn't bring it to you. That's total disrespect for your person.

If you wanna be soft, warn her privately to stop the games.
If you wanna be disrespectful like her, allow them mumu and come. Then look her in the eye and ask why she keeps coming. Her response would determine yours. You might help us deliver the current guy from emotional abuse.

Really, I appreciate your comments and advice.

Chiefpiiko and bianca, can you two please do your thing privately and stop acting like children here? Thanks

Only tough love can quench this drama. Next time when they call tell them you aren't home or if they come unannounced,tell em you going out or expecting a guest. Make them dey their lane make you too face front. Ahead ahead brother,no time for action film. TAKE CHARGE!!!

Apologies OP, how old are you, your Ex and the part-time boyfriend? Your response will either confirm or otherwise the stupidity that surrounds the three of you.

That being said, in order to end this stupidity, please kindly cure yourself of it by stating firmly to two of them to stop that unnecessary visits. You have been too friendly and quiet. Act as the man you are and end this madness.

ChiefPiiko:
My bank account isn't smiling but I am expecting a tidy sum pretty soon, you will be my pastor i will pay my tithe to you

Ohh so sweet of you chief...... do call me when you've seen the Alert so I can start coming...... #slimdaddy

Here to read comments

Chiefpiiko and bianca are just 2 persons in one. One person fooling himself here as two people, so let's ignore them. I dnt knw why nairaland doesn't have "blocking" option so that OP will block them.

My advice to this post is that...some of you askin d OP to tel them the girl to stop comin, its not easy to ask someone to stop comin to ur house wen she is not ur enemy or comin to steal ur things. Tell ur new gf to be ready to rush to ur house and ask d girl dat she shld stop comin, girls like that kind of work. Bt dat her bf na mumu o!!

I thought as much too, lets ignore them

Harry3:
Chief.piiko and bi.anca are just 2 persons in one. One person fooling himself here as two people, so let's ignore them. I dnt knw why nairaland doesn't have "blocking" option so that OP will block them.

My advice to this post is that...some of you askin d OP to tel them the girl to stop comin, its not easy to ask someone to stop comin to ur house wen she is not ur enemy or comin to steal ur things. Tell ur new gf to be ready to rush to ur house and ask d girl dat she shld stop comin, girls like that kind of work. Bt dat her bf na mumu o!!

catwalq:
Only tough love can quench this drama. Next time when they call tell them you aren't home or if they come unannounced,tell em you going out or expecting a guest. Make them dey their lane make you too face front. Ahead ahead brother,no time for action film. TAKE CHARGE!!!

Thanks but how I wish they call before coming, am not sure they would have been coming but they don't call. I will take the other advice and pretend am going out.

The day she will meet your new girlfriend that day she will stop coming

Just be calm and observe her mood and behaviour that day

Lol she is just taking d piss