When it comes to determining whether someone you know is a narcissist, most people make it more complicated than it needs to be.

There are no physical blood tests, MRIs, or exact determinations that can identify narcissism. Even therapists have to go on their observations of the behavior, attitudes, and reactions that a person presents to determine narcissism. Most times even narccists do not have an awareness about their conditions and may remain stuck in their personalities for a long time.

Like you may know, narcissism grows like other habits, for example, if a boy is intelligent and many of his peers through childhood look to him for advice, he has a high tendency to grow up becoming a narcissistic person, this doesn't make such a person bad, or evil. It has become a mould, a strong construct in their mind to be the center of attraction and force to bend to their will. Narcissist many times are nice people, cool people but their attitude so many times ticks people off, and ruins their relationships.


Why they may get cheers from a few fans they feel are in their inner circle, it ruins their chances for maintaining strong bonds with people beyond a superficial level. If you like to know if you're dealing with such a person, read on, and find out more.


Cheers !

later he is will say he has a job, 3rd thread in 20 minutes


am out of here
[img]https://media./images/ef6c60e4e13f13070ba2ed165407dbc5/tenor.gif[/img]

ONE :

Narcissists like to be the center of attention

"Narcissists dominate conversations," says psychotherapist Joseph Brugo, PhD, the author of The Narcissist You Know ($25; amazon.com). "They feel compelled to talk about issues, themselves, and they exaggerate their accomplishments and qualities while talking down other people's qualities."

They find it easy to embellish stories, spinning them to impress an They paint themselves as the boss's most trusted advisor, the most flexibly yogi in your class, the most popular neighbor on the block. These fabrications are easy to excuse as little white lies that help you tell a better tale. But really they serve a riskier purpose: to shore up an idealized version of self that distracts people from the real personality behind the act.

TWO:


Narcissists have a habit of giving (unsolicited) advice

Sure, you're trying to be helpful by recommending the best restaurants in Portland, or sharing your wisdom on parenting through the terrible twos. But you are also seizing an opportunity to demonstrate your superior knowledge and insight.

"Narcissists are always a little more in the know. "They seem to have the inside info on everything." By acting more sophisticated than everyone in the room, they bolster an inflated sense of self—unfortunately at their expense in the long run.

THREE:

Narcissists are overly and unnecessarily competitive

In a narcissist's worldview, there are winners and losers, and the narcissist needs to win in virtually every domain—on the tennis court, at the office, heck, even in the community garden. "They have to make themselves out to be superior to somebody else, in a relentless quest to prove their dominance.

The opponent could be a stranger or someone you love. That compulsive drive to come out on top (no matter who ends up on bottom) makes it difficult to celebrate other people's successes, like, say, your college pal's beautiful new house—because in that moment, someone else is the "winner."

For a narcissist, it is always important never to let down their guard and see everything as a battle to come out as winner. Their mental focus makes them sees everything as a competition to come up as the winner, so they play very carefully putting performance pressure on themselves.

FOUR :



Narcissts are famous for holding grudges



To everyone else you probably seem highly confident—the kind of person who doesn't give a crap what other people think. But for narcissists, that couldn't be farther from the truth. They care deeply about maintaining their idealized image of themselves, and have trouble tolerating any sort of disapproval or insults, they care more about their image than their well being, so a narcissist doesn't see the need to make time to reflect to gain awareness about him/herself.

No matter how small a criticism, "it feels like a huge assault, a personal attack," and one they're unlikely to forget. "If they feel slighted, or abandoned, they don't get over it," they hold on to little grudges and make it bigger than it is.

Rather than deal with their hurt feelings, they get angry and seek revenge, in one form or another.

iamJ:
later he is will say he has a job, 3rd thread in 20 minutes


am out of here
[img]https://media./images/ef6c60e4e13f13070ba2ed165407dbc5/tenor.gif[/img]

I like your meme, permission to borrow it?

narcissists are the worse!!

FIVE :


It's never a narcissists fault

Ask yourself if you admit when you're wrong: Do you own your screw-ups? Do you apologize for them, and try to fix them? Or do you immediately flip the script and say things like, "It's because of how you were treating me that I did XYZ" or "You drove me to [cheat/drink/lash out]." Narcissists refuse to be held accountable for their mistakes and bad behavior, and instead shift the blame to someone else. Even within their close personal relationships, narcissists believe there is always a winner and a loser, and he or she'll do what it takes to win.

Since a narcissist loves the podium, they have a vain craving for perfection, and put lots of pressure on themselves to be spotless, because they don't want that image tainted in any way.It's all about the act for the narcissist, everything is a carefully laid out act where failure is not an option.

SIX :

Narcissists take advantage of people

It may not be intentional, but it happens, because a narcissist tend to view situations in terms of what they mean for you, and you only. The reason? A lack of empathy, a narcissist find it easy to withhold affection and feelings. The "inability to turn into the emotional world of others" is a cornerstone of narcissism—and what makes it so dangerous.

"Narcissists expect others to revolve around their needs, but they refuse to do the same for anyone else." That means to get what they want, they aren't afraid to manipulate or bully whoever is in your way. Because in the end, it's always all about them. Why they may not openly manipulate, watch out, they restrain themselves while enjoying the " superficial moment ", they are withdrawn, but present at the same time. Very clever manipulation is the case. So watch out, when you see anyone around you just smile, and not been an active participant in engagements, chances are you're dealing with a narcissists.

Coconut head, you stole my meme without asking

Earthquake1:
I like your meme, permission to borrow it?

SEVEN :


The ambition of a narcissistic person knows no bounds

It's one thing to shoot for the stars, and then work your butt off to get there. It's quite another to believe you are destined for greatness. That type of grandiose assumption is a classic symptom of narcissists.

They tend to believe they are naturally special, and part of an elite class that deserves only the best. "They fantasize about how much more powerful they will be, how much more beautiful, how much richer," it condition worsens when they are the ones their colleagues look up to for advice, it heightens the condition, it makes such an individual remain in the narcissistic loop because conditions to reveal such personality disorder aren't imminent.

They also prefer to associate with other "high-status" people, and may obsess over status symbols (from the right shoes to the right stroller)—and even belittle anyone who they don't perceive to be part of the same exclusive club.

EIGHT


Superiority and entitlement

The world of the narcissist is all about good/bad, superior/inferior, and right/wrong. There
is a definite hierarchy, with the narcissist at the top—which is the only place he feels safe.

Narcissists have to be the best, the most right, and the most competent; do everything their way; own everything; and control everyone.

Interestingly enough, narcissists can also get that superior feeling by being the worst; the most wrong; or the most ill, upset, or injured for a period of time. Then they feel entitled to receive soothing concern and recompense and even the right to hurt you or demand apologies to “make things even.”

NINE :

Exaggerated need for attention and validation

Narcissists need constant attention—even following you around the house, asking you to find things, or constantly saying something to grab your attention.

Validation for a narcissist counts only if it comes from others. Even then, it doesn’t count for much.

A narcissist’s need for validation is like a funnel. You pour in positive, supportive words, and they just flow out the other end and are gone.

No matter how much you tell narcissists you love them, admire them, or approve of them, they never feel it’s enough—because deep down they don’t believe anyone can love them.

Despite all their self-absorbed, grandiose bragging, narcissists are actually very insecure and fearful of not measuring up. They constantly try to elicit praise and approval from others to shore up their fragile egos, but no matter how much they’re given, they always want more.

TEN:

Perfectionism

Narcissists have an extremely high need for everything to be perfect. They believe they should be perfect, you should be perfect, events should happen exactly as expected, and life should play out precisely as they envision it.

This is an excruciatingly impossible demand, which results in the narcissist feeling dissatisfied and miserable much of the time. The demand for perfection leads the narcissist to complain and be constantly dissatisfied.

ELEVEN :


Great need for control


Since narcissists are continually disappointed with the imperfect way life unfolds, they want to do as much as possible to control it and mold it to their liking.

They want and demand to be in control, and their sense of entitlement makes it seem logical to them that they should be in control—of everything.

Narcissists always have a story line in mind about what each “character” in their interaction should be saying and doing.

When you don’t behave as expected, they become quite upset and unsettled. They don’t know what to expect next, because you’re off script. They demand that you say and do exactly what they have in mind so they can reach their desired conclusion.

You are a character in their internal play, not a real person with your own thoughts and feelings. For a narcissist, you need to act the script or bounce !

75% of boys and girls are narcissists!!
It's not a new thing

TWELVE:

Lack of responsibility—blaming and deflecting

Although narcissists want to be in control, they never want to be responsible for the results—unless, of course, everything goes exactly their way and their desired result occurs.

When things don’t go according to their plan or they feel criticized or less than perfect, the narcissist places all the blame and responsibility on you. It has to be someone else’s fault.

Sometimes that blame is generalized—all police, all bosses, all teachers, all Democrats, and so on.

At other times the narcissist picks a particular person or rule to blame—his mother, the judge, or laws that limit what he wants to do. Most often, however, the narcissist blames the one person who is the most emotionally close, most attached, loyal, and loving in his life—you.

To maintain the facade of perfection, narcissists always have to blame someone or something else. You are the safest person to blame, because you are least likely to leave or reject him. A narcissist will almost never be wrong, and finds it difficult to apologize, it's way too hard for a narcissist.

THIRTEEN :


Lack of boundaries

Narcissists can’t accurately see where they end and you begin. They are a lot like 2-year-olds. They believe that everything belongs to them, everyone thinks and feels the same as they do, and everyone wants the same things they do. They are shocked and highly insulted to be told " NO ". If a narcissist wants something from you, he’ll go to great lengths to figure out how to get it through persistence, cajoling, demanding, rejecting, or pouting.

Guilt-tripping is also used, but when used on a narcissistic person, they numb, or deflect, they are masters of not letting down their guard. When you encounter an individual who's always talking about been perfect or not letting down their guard, beware, the chances the individual is narcissistic is very high.

hope am not a narcissist? I have few of those traits.

FOURTEEN:


Lack of empathy


Narcissists have very little ability to empathize with others. They tend to be selfish, self-absorbed and self-involved and are usually unable to understand what other people are feeling.

Narcissists expect others to think and feel the same as they do and seldom give any thought to how others feel. They are also rarely apologetic, remorseful, or guilty. These three goes hand in hand for them. Again, they are highly unremorseful, apologetic, or guilty. And so, they don't see the need for repentance and correction.


Narcissists are highly attuned to perceived threats, anger, and rejection from others. At the same time, they are nearly blind to the other feelings of the people around them.

They frequently misread subtle expressions and are typically biased toward interpreting expressions as negative. Unless you are acting out your emotions dramatically, the narcissist won’t accurately perceive what you’re feeling and would claim you are unreadable. They always want to read people and find out how to manipulate them to suit their desires.

Even saying “I’m sorry” or “I love you” when the narcissist is on edge and angry can backfire. He won’t believe you and may even mis-perceive your comment as an attack.

In addition, if your words and expressions aren’t congruent, the narcissist will likely respond erroneously. This is why narcissists often misinterpret sarcasm as actual agreement or joking from others as a personal attack.

Their lack of ability to correctly read body language is one reason narcissists are deficiency empathetic to your feelings. They don’t see them, they don’t interpret them correctly, and overall they don’t believe you feel any differently than they do.

Narcissists also lack an understanding about the nature of feelings. They don’t understand how their feelings occur. They think their feelings are caused by someone or something outside of themselves.

They don’t realize that their feelings are caused by their own biochemistry, thoughts, and interpretations. In a nutshell, narcissists always think you cause their feelings—especially the negative ones. They conclude that because you didn’t follow their plan or because you made them feel vulnerable, you are to blame.

This lack of empathy makes true relationships and emotional connection with narcissists difficult or impossible. They just don’t notice what anyone else is feeling. As a psychological barrier against pain, a narcissist schemes so many emotional barriers to protect themselves from hurt, but in the end, this self-absoprtion does more harm than good in the long run. It's a maze which way out is difficult to navigate consequently.

jericco1:
hope am not a narcissist? I have few of those traits.

Everyone at some point has some of these issues, we just need to evaluate and work on ourselves.

FIFTEEN:


Emotional reasoning

You’ve probably made the mistake of trying to reason and use logic with the narcissist to get him to understand the painful effect his behaviors have on you. You think that if he understands how much his behavior hurt you, he’ll change. Your explanations, however, don’t make sense to the narcissist, who only seems able to be aware of his own thoughts and feelings. Although narcissists may say they understand, they honestly don’t.

Therefore, narcissists make most of their decisions based on how they feel about something. They simply must have that red sports car, based entirely on how they feel driving it, not by whether it is a good choice to make for the family or for the budget. If they’re bored or depressed, they want to move or end the relationship or start a new business. They always look to something or someone outside themselves to solve their feelings and needs. They expect you to go along with their “solutions,” and they react with irritation and resentment if you don’t.

nah I'm not. thank God. phew!

iamJ:
later he is will say he has a job, 3rd thread in 20 minutes


am out of here
[img]https://media./images/ef6c60e4e13f13070ba2ed165407dbc5/tenor.gif[/img]

See your big head

SIXTEEN:


Fears, Insecurities, Uncertainties and doubts

The narcissist’s entire life and actions are guided, motivated and energized by fear.

Most narcissists’ fears are deeply buried and repressed.

They’re constantly afraid of being ridiculed, rejected, or wrong.

They may have fears about germs, about losing all their money, about being emotionally or physically attacked, about being seen as bad or inadequate, or about being abandoned. This makes it difficult and sometimes impossible for the narcissist to trust anyone else.

They have difficulties in initiating relationships because they see so many reasons why it will fail even before it starts. It also affects them in business. A narcissitc person is likely to save money than invest, not because of the advantages of savings but because they have a " trust no oneat all cost rule "

In fact, the closer your relationship becomes, the less such a person will trust. Narcissists fear any true intimacy or vulnerability because they’re afraid you’ll see their imperfections and judge or reject them.

No amount of reassurance seems to make a difference, because narcissists deeply hate and reject their own shameful imperfections. Narcissists never seem to develop trust in the love of others, and they continually test you with worse and worse behaviors to try to find your breaking point. Their gripping fear of being “found out” or abandoned never seems to dissipate.

SEVENTEEN:


Anxiety

Anxiety is an ongoing, vague feeling that something bad is happening or about to happen. If you're constantly expecting evil to happen, or remain on the watchout against something bad, watch out.

Some narcissists show their anxiety by talking constantly about the doom that is about to happen, while some hide and repress their anxiety.

But most narcissists project their anxiety onto their closest loved ones, accusing them of being negative, unsupportive, not putting them first, not responding to their needs, or being selfish.

All this is designed to transfer anxiety to the loved one in an attempt to not feel it themselves. ( They are scared of closure, and would rather deflect the energy to the other party they are engaged with).

As you feel worse and worse, the narcissist feels better and better. In fact he feels stronger and more superior as you feel your anxiety and depression grow. They love anything that boosts their ego, so as your ego goes down, theirs inflates. This is the lifestyle of a narcissistic person.

EIGHTEEN


Shame

Narcissists don’t feel much guilt because they think they are always right, and they don’t believe their behaviors really affect anyone else. But they harbor a lot of shame.

Shame is the belief that there is something deeply and permanently wrong or bad about who you are. Buried in a deeply repressed part of the narcissist are all the insecurities, fears, and rejected traits that he/she is constantly on guard to hide from everyone, including him/herself.

The narcissist is acutely ashamed of all these rejected thoughts and feelings. For example, I had one narcissistic friend who was into relationships and some intense risk-taking behaviors. This friend keeps saying to me that he never felt fear. “Fear,” he said, “was evil.” He was clearly on a crusade to defeat it.

Keeping his vulnerabilities hidden is essential to the narcissist’s pretend self-esteem or false self.

Ultimately, however, this makes it impossible for them to be completely real and transparent.

NINETEEN :

An inability to be truly vulnerable

Because of their inability to understand feelings, their lack of empathy, and constant need for self-protection, narcissists can’t truly love or connect emotionally with other people.

They cannot look at the world from anyone else’s perspective. They’re essentially emotionally blind and alone. This makes them emotionally needy.

When one relationship is no longer satisfying, they often overlap relationships or start a new one as soon as possible. They desperately want someone to feel their pain, to sympathize with them, and make everything just as they want it to be. But they have little ability to respond to your pain or fear or even your day-to-day need for care and sympathy.

TWENTY:

An inability to communicate or work as part of a team

Thoughtful, cooperative behaviors require a real understanding of each other’s feelings. How will the other person feel? Will this action make both of us happy? How will this affect our relationship? These are questions that narcissists don’t have the capacity or the motivation to think about. Don’t expect the narcissist to understand your feelings, give in, or give up anything he wants for your benefit; it’s useless. They are relentless unrepentant and need something huge to break the moulds in their minds before they change !


So, if you're dealing with a narcissistic individual, be careful, if you can put up with all of these, then good luck, but watch out for the pitfalls.

My pen rests here. Off to work now !

I think most people possess one or two of those trait you listed.Having some of those traits those not make someone to be naccist rather attitudinal change varies atime and personality is not static,it can be switch or mixed atimes.Educative and interesting.Nice one bro.