In addition to the wonderful posts (Like the one by Omoge)
Never Never Never take your spouse for granted. Love her/him the way they want to be loved not the way you think they should be loved. Give and keep on giving. (Time, energy, advice, money). keep to the spirit and letter of your vow. Remember you marriage is really about the two of you. everyother thing (including your children) comes a distant second.

Keeping your love life sizzling is very difficult when kids arrive on the scene.
Women tend to experience a major shift in priority.
Their love and attention now shifts to this little baby who depends entirely upon the mother.
The woman becomes a bit bigger/flabby. she pays less attention on her dressing. She pays even less attention on her man. It becomes all about the baby.

The man becomes jealous/left out.
He starts to crave the attention elsewhere.
He makes a mistake by sleeping with a smart looking colleague or uni girl during a night out. He regrets it, but goes home to a wife who is more concerned with what baby has eaten. Man goes out a again and this time doesnt regret it.

I recognise that infidelity can go both ways, but in our society, it is predominantly men who stray.

maybe if these african husbands helped in caring for the kids, the wife wouldnt stop taking care of themselves.

I'm sick and tired of reading posts that imply that if women don't look gorgeous after marriage, then the husband will turn to the secretary or the next gorgeous woman he sees. Not surprisingly, most of such posts are from the unmarried. Marriage is not as finicky as that my dears, and any man or woman who is prepared to cheat on their spouse on the grounds of a change in the spouse's appearance is simply spineless and insincere. What would happen if you were Dana Reeve, whose hunky man-of-men husband suddenly got struck with paralysis and had to be in a wheel chair the rest of his life? Or what would happen if you were that man whose wife got caught in a fire that gutted a good part of her once-very-beautiful skin? Would you immediately turn to another good looking person? Is that why you got married in the first place?

Whether anyone likes to admit it or not, both men and women are visually stimulated, and we all are capable of appreciating beauty in another. But that is not all that counts when it comes to marriage. At some point that hunk of a husband is going to go bald or develop grey hair or a pot belly or get thicker in embarrassing places, and that woman will not be as shapely as she once used to be. If that causes you to begin to look to another, then there isn't much to be said about your marriage or your understanding of what marriage is all about.

And for heavens sake, if you're thinking of having a happy marriage, by all means put all forms of childish and unwarranted threats (such as, "if you don't look drop dead gorgeous, I'll start looking at my secretary" or "if you don't cater to my financial needs, I'll start looking at the next rich hunk" out of your marriage. This is especially true if you want a secure and productive environment in your home. There's more to life and people than just good looks and other physical or financial attributes!

And always remember, NO ONE is indispensable -- that spouse you're threatening CAN live without you, so you might as well be a blessing to him/her _{and not a threatening little brat}.

I agree with you here wendy,there should me more to marriage than just looks but whenever possible,a man or woman should look their best.

I like those pics about sleeping couples. I have to learn alot on that because i can't sleep with anybody's body to mine, i just wont get to sleep.

All the advice here have bin great ones. . . i'm learning

An unfaithful man will always be an unfaithful man, a lot of men who cheat on their wives sometimes go for women who are uglier than their wives.
methinks familiarity sometimes brings contempt, The man don see you finish though you don see am finish too oo.
I think women should look their best no matter what, it does a lot for a woman's self esteem to look good whether the man notices or not.
Most importantly couples should learn to forgive and truly forget, keeping a bank of hurts can be destructive to marriages, it may not be easy but just let it go! (at least you will sleep better and hopefully live longer!)
As far as finances is concerned, I think to a great extent a woman should have something doing that earns you YOUR own money and not our money so you can handle some responsibilities on your own without having to always wait for the man to drop and when there is truly nothing to drop, the roof doesnt have to cave in!

I like those pics about sleeping couples. I have to learn alot on that because i can't sleep with anybody's body to mine, i just wont get to sleep.

Nothing wrong with sleeping on separate beds in the same room. Sleeping alone happens to be healthier .

Wendy,
In as much as there should be more to marriage than looks, you cannot deny that looks and atitude are the first points of attraction. Hence, the man/woman should strive to maintain that thing which cause the man to fall head over heels all those years ago.

As I said earlier, many women tend to shift focus on the children, as a result many men tend to shift focus on their 'secretary'.

Also, many men grow beer bellies, and so the woman's personal trainer or colleague at work begins to look positively delectable.

Not saying it is right, It is however a real observation.

Seun,
Sleeping together in one bed brings a lot of intimacy and security, especially for the women.

Sleeping separately may be good for the physical health, but damaging to the marital health.

Sleeping together is good but after child birth the
woman should be on her own for some months. if not, likely to get pregnant immediately
because the pains of delivering had stopped and the mutual feelings continues again.

Echidime Thanks for those lovely sleeping pictures,I got to show this to my baby girl.

Also, many men grow beer bellies, and so the woman's personal trainer or colleague at work begins to look positively delectable.

Do you really think that as they sit there growing their beer bellies, the sexy FIT guy the wife sees when she's out doesnt become "delectable" to her?

as like i said maybe if these men actually helped their wives with the children instead of leaving everything to her, maybe then she wouldnt neglect in taking care of herself.

ThiefOfHearts:

Do you really think that as they sit there growing their beer bellies, the sexy FIT guy the wife sees when she's out doesnt become "delectable" to her?

as like i said maybe if these men actually helped their wives with the children instead of leaving everything to her, maybe then she wouldnt neglect in taking care of herself.

Well said!!!

Dear Baby,

Do you say Christian Couple?

I feel the greatest problem is lack of or poor communication of SEX. You know it is not easy to say the cause of a fight among couple is SEX. I am married with two kids if you may know.

@ dafidixone

This is the 2nd time am hearing it that SEX is the cause of problem. The first is my oyinbo married man whom came with his lady for sunday lunch.
we ended up chatting about christian relationship. He said for men the top thing is sex. For women, it is security. His lady (a working woman) agreed.
I was like ''huh''. Didn't know sex is that much important to a guy, or perhaps just oyinbo men only and not african men?

So you all (men generally) the best tip of a lasting union is sex?
Na wah. Thought it was just for procreation, and now human being don hijack the thing and making it the cause of problem in a union,

ojigbijigbi

Sex is the glue that holds a marriage together. I havent seen a guy yet who will marry a girl he is not sexually attracted to.

If sex no dey, marriage don end be that o.

i think sleeping both facing each other or order wise,doesn't matters,what matter most in every relationship is understanding of ones self,body and soul

You people are corrupting me o

babyosisi:

You people are corrupting me o

corrupting you ke?
What have we said that you have not done? Chei!!! Women!

Bang

Bang? Ewww

kitaun:

Bang? Ewww

yeah right! _{* ROLL EYEZ*}

Lmao @ika

Christian couples should go the whole length to make each other happy.
Marriage is all about giving and receiving.
You must never take your spouse 's love for granted.
You should dress attractively for his/her approval.
You must both work towards getting a satisfactory sex life.
Remember that the greatest lover of all times is the ALMIGHTY GOD who gave his all(His only begotten son.)
Romans 5:8 talks about the demonstration of God's love for mankind by the death of Jesus Christ.
Though both partners are expected to make sacrifices in the marriage,
But the senior partner whose sacrifice is expected to be more is the man.
Want to learn more, ?
Go to www.godswillfoundation.org and also sign up for their newsletter.
God bless you and your marriage in Jesus' name. Amen

Tips For Christian Married Couples?

HUH?

lol you are so sarcastic young lady lmao
and full of mischief

Mischief ke? How

jaybaby:

Mischief ke? How

you? you nor easy lol. lol i can't fit talk( excuse the yinglish)
anyway how you doing?