I have been pondering the age old question of fidelity; don't get me wrong i believe in LOVE, relationships and marraige. But in all sincerity does sleeping with another while in a relationship really mean you don't love? How can the act of sex define or nullify what really exists between two people or better yet what exists that an act of sex destroys? Before you go off with replies think of this scenario:
A married man is in love with his wife (or vice versa) and has sex with another woman but his wife does not know, he still shows her the affection and treats her right and everything is perfect. Sometime later she finds out and feels betrayed and all of a sudden everything is wrong. Now understand that up until she found out even though he was with another person she felt okay but now the thought of this causes problems. In retrospect the period between the revelation was great up until the knowledge of the act, so my arguement is even while he was 'cheating' she felt love right? So whatis the big deal? Is it more of an emotional reaction or did it actually affect the relationship.
Looking forward to your thoughts.
PS: This is a discussion, lets be mature and articulate our feelings, who knows we may find something out!

I believe it is quite possible to love your gf/bf and cheat on him/her.

People cheat for many reasons but generally not because they love the one they are having the affair with.

Some people cheat to get revenge. Sometimes women cheat to "open the eyes" of their men so that they will learn to appreciate and value them at risk of them finding someone else. Its all a bunch of immaturity if you ask me. Cheating is never justified although I will admit I can understand the thinking behind it.

When u love someone, u avoid anything and everything that will make the person to be angry, u are right, as long as the guy is not caught, everything look right, take for instance, if u are my friend and we are very close, and later I realise uve been saying bad things about me, I will get offended, and things start happening
I know of married men who dates other ladies but for nothing on this earth will they ever allow the lady talk about their wives, they respect them, ofcourse it happens, they will tell them that she is my wife,  and I dont joke with that.
But lets be realistic, it is infidelity, once u are married, ur body now belongs to your spouse, u do not have "full right" over it again, and so how do u give out something that doesnt belong to u anymore, adultery is adultery, either one is caught or not, the best thing is to keep to one's spouse
Is it more of an emotional reaction or did it actually affect the relationship?love is a feeling, and feeling is emotional, hence it is ore of emotional reaction, a feeling of betrayal, like why would you do this when u know I wont like it sort of thing

^^^hey u

@Afrobaby. I understand but lets look at some of the most beloved people in history. They were great people and still had their shortcomings. Dont you think we are putting an exaggerated emphasis on so called fidelity?

oh boy

@Candy. Whaddya think?

@ topic
I THINK IT TELLS SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER THAT'S WHY PEOPLE FEEL SO BAD. IT ALL OF A SUDDEN MAKES THEM FEEL INSECURE ABOUT THEIR FUTURE AND QUESTIONS THEIR PAST. ITS JUST PAINFUL. THAT IS WHY THEY FEEL SO BAD

BUT THE TRUTH ( I GUESS MORE WITH GUYZ), YES YOU CAN SLEEP WITH ONE OR TWO PEOPLE AND STILL BE PERFECTLY IN LOVE WITH YOUR PARTNER. HOWEVER, SOMETIMES ONCE YOU STRAY THERE IS NO WAY BACK HOME. YOU GET DISTRACTED AND LOOSE FOCUS.

Yes it is possible

Very possible

Now. . . .Im beginnig to imagine some people's thought process.  

Yes only by a demented person but if you are not married to each other or not planning to the boy and the girl has no obligation to the other party.

I repeat: VERY POSSIBLE

If yu truly love someone yu wouldnt wan to cheat on him/her or do thingz to hurt such person!

No! is the answer.
when you love somene you
hold such person dearly and
tots of cheating on the person
which can cause emotional hurts
wont even come to the mind.

no its not

love comes with respect and faithfulness

if u cant then u dont 'love' the person

persons just a convinience in ur life

people always get it confused and the word 'love' is used too loosely

Moyola:

If yu truly love someone yu wouldnt wan to cheat on him/her or do thingz to hurt such person!

cheating on someone you love doesnt mean you hurting the person. Except the person knows.

Yeah it's possible, but only hypocrites do that.

@ topic: I have often wondered about this!

My ex boyfriend used to tell me that he loved me all the time and I loved him too.
But when went off to different universities, he cheated on me in his first week of school with a random girl he met at a club and gave her his virginity.
It made me question all the 'i love yous' he had uttered to me! I was thinking that how could he love me and yet do such a terrible thing to me? 
I broke up with him sha.

So, please can anyone give me insight on my issue? I would greatly appreciate it!!!

If u don't have a possessive feeling for your partner, then u do not love him/her. For example if u are aware that your partner is sleeping with another person and u remain indifferent, then you don't love him/her. Your partner is your possession(property). Just as you wouldn't like your bossom friend to use(share) your most admirable T-shirt, car etc, you wouldn't like to share your partner with anyone if you cherish him/her. If u claim to love someone, u will not hurt his/her feelings. Love is all about feelings. Cheating hurts and makes u feel that your property has been stolen(shared among u and others). Before you'll mate another person, something would have first transpired. God himself has structured guidlines on sex which I believe he used to different us from animals. The fear of God plus self-control will never permit you to cheat if you have them.

If you love someone you cant cheat on them. NO matter how tempting it is you will never want to do that. If you are using marriage as an excuse then you need to consider a whole lot of issues. One lots of men do not marry for love they marry for companion and sometimes because the woman in question has something to offer in the marriage. Sometimes also because she's a package deal. A good display object. Someone to show off to friends and tell them they are not in tune with the world.

If the above reasons are why you marry someone then yes cheating on them will not bother you!!!

Love isn't something you take for granted. So please do not try to justify cheating with such lame excuses,

Love needs to be redefined ,

I've never been able to come to terms wiv some men/ women that claim to love their partners , but still cheat on them, then stupidly say "I love my wife, but needed something different! When you're truly in love, u can't think of no one else but the person ure with, u don't want to be with any one else, with love comes respect, if u love and respect ur partner, the thought of cheating won't even cross ur mind, its enough to put you on a guilt trip!!, not unless its fake luv, lust or just sexual attraction, then u can bloody well do as you please!

Yep, it`s possible. People usually ask how can you hurt the person you profess to love by cheating. Well, when cheating, one isn`t counting on getting caught. A man might love his wife deeply but not be sexually excited by her. Happens alot in very some communities where would be wives are groomed to be anything but a lover to their men.

no you can not. you can't love someone and cause emotional and psychological pain to them.  you cannot love someone and disrespect them by flirting/groaping/fuking somone else.  you cannot love someone and put some skank before her.  you cannot love someone and risk giving them some sort of disease.   you may be able to cheat on someone you like but never somone you love.  if you truely are in love the though of cheating would make you sick. those who say you can are doing nothing more then grasping for some form of justification for thier actions or desires

agathamari:

no you can not. you can't love someone and cause emotional and psychological pain to them. you cannot love someone and disrespect them by flirting/groaping/fuking somone else. you cannot love someone and put some skank before her. you cannot love someone and risk giving them some sort of disease. you may be able to cheat on someone you like but never somone you love. if you truely are in love the though of cheating would make you sick. those who say you can are doing nothing more then grasping for some form of justification for thier actions or desires

I absolutely agree. Absolutely!

I believe people do cheat on the ones they believe they love. Notice I said "believe they love".
I feel if you truly love someone you will not cheat on them. So many men and women use that " but i love you "
line just to try and help their justification as to why they would deceive and betray the person who loves them.
offcourse there are temptation out there, but I believe love conquers lust. Cheating is a choice. To me love is more than a
word and more than a feeling. Its a state of mind ! And in that state the only person on your mind is the one you truly love.
So if when you are in situation in which cheating can occur or when you are tempted, if you truly love someone your mind will tell you to go
to the one you love, because the mind controls the body.

Dont you think we are putting an exaggerated emphasis on so called fidelity?
The general rule is Thou Shalt Not Be Caught. except you want to be caught.
In a relationship we talk about Love Respect and Trust. but i think the trust thing is not part of my makeup cos i not the type that sit up all nite thinking of where my girl could possibly be since her no. is not going.
As long as the respect is still there i'm ok but if you start anyhow behaviour, na for your head.

No you can't love and cheat.You can say it would not harm if she/he doesn't know but the truth,every act of infidelity is very harmful and starts of a chain reaction that will eventually come to the surface.Infidelity slowly but surely erodes the foundation of the love you have for your spouse until eventually you wake up one day and find out there is no more love for your spouse,that's why small tell tell signs begin to escape to your spouse through your attitude or she/he may just sense it in his/her spirit and then it is revealed.So please avoid it!

No you can't love and cheat.You can say it would not harm if she/he doesn't know but the truth,every act of infidelity is very harmful and starts off a chain reaction that will eventually come to the surface.Infidelity slowly but surely erodes the foundation of the love you have for your spouse until eventually you wake up one day and find out there is no more love for your spouse,that's why small tell tell signs begin to escape to your spouse through your attitude or she/he may just sense it in his/her spirit  and then it is revealed.So please avoid it!