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Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? - Family - Nairaland

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Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by isaacfreeman99(m): 4:44pm On Dec 04, 2017
Hi good evening Romancelanders this is my first time to seek for help or advice here,

I need your advice on this issue,
my mother may die before her time, she's suffering, and not happy in her marriage with my dad, she's just enduring and not enjoying her marriage,
she is enduring it because she grew up in a broken home under a single parent and she knew what she passed through and according to her she don't want her children to experience the same thing so She'll rather die for and with her children.
she's always abused physically and emotionally by my Dad, hurt and disrespected severely by her so-called pastor husband,
my dad is a pastor for nearly 30 years with a global church, the problem here is that my mother is not educated, but she had 10 children with my dad, but my dad feels like she's not worthy to be his wife now both of them are in their 50's.
my mother is very intelligent, she can read the bible very well in our local language, and can speak little pidgin English, she's a fast learner, if my dad want to train her it will be easy but he's not just interested in that, note that when they both got married my dad too was not educated, it was years later that he went back to school and did his PhD and still further on to a theological seminary, sometimes he do wish that my mother should die so that he can get free and marry a woman of his class.
please I need your advice here, I suggested to my mum that he should live him but could not convinced her, she's too religious, always saying that the Bible does not encouraged divorce, and my dad was the first man and only man she knew in her entire life, my father does not know the value of children, sometimes I do question God that "God they said that everything you do is perfect but why did you allowed this to happened?? giving 10 good children to someone who don't care or know the value or worth of a child, wife and family??"
this has physically, mentally or psychologically effect on us his children especially we the 3 boys, none of us see value, happiness or joy in marriage, I personally see marriage as a prison or bondage, same with my 2 brothers any time I speak with them concerning marriage none of them seems to be interested or ready for that shit.
marriage was meant to be enjoyed and not to be endured, getting married to the right person makes and keep one happy and it affects your lifespan positively, you live longer and healthier.
guys help me with your ideals and plans, I can't sit my father down or report him to the Church, he may curse and disowned us all since I'm the first son. my dad can be so violent.

please don't insult my father remember he's a pastor, pastors too are human.

23 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Ayo4251(m): 4:47pm On Dec 04, 2017
Ftc for the 2nd time today!! cheesy grin
















Back to the topic





It is not right no matter the circumstances

4 Likes

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by isaacfreeman99(m): 5:06pm On Dec 04, 2017
Mynd44 suen lalasticlala
please help move this tread to FP thanks
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by thorpido(m): 5:22pm On Dec 04, 2017
The decision is left to your mum.Unfortunately, she's of the mindset of die-put coupled with the fact that she has little education and lacks sufficient income.

You children should work hard and when you are able to be on your own,take your mom with you.
Pastor or no pastor,men like your dad have regrets when they are old and don't get attention from the children or wife.

86 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by etenyong(m): 6:15pm On Dec 04, 2017
Don't be afraid to tell your Dad the truth about his behavior to your mum. You as the first son should sit him down and talk to him in a respectful manner. If he is truly a pastor he won't disown you simple because you advice him against his action and behavior toward your mum. If he doesn't listen to you, you can approach an elderly person to talk to him as well.

73 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Daeylar(f): 6:47pm On Dec 04, 2017
Lalasticlala
Mynd44
Please FP
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by BruncleZuma: 6:57pm On Dec 04, 2017
Nope
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by hollamanng(m): 6:57pm On Dec 04, 2017
I think we should stop letting religion deprive of us of our joy and start applying common sense in some cases. Don't do this don't do that . We are in a world that people now play theirselves, some parents prefer their daughter to Marry an ALCOHOLIC ,FORNICATING MATTHEW than a responsible IFAYEMI

Religion is the new racism

AFRICANS OPEN YOUR EYES

22 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by SkillfulValue: 6:57pm On Dec 04, 2017
Nope

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by godfatherx: 6:58pm On Dec 04, 2017
Yes you can sit him down and talk sense to him! What is the worse that he can do that he has not already done?

He's getting away with his actions because none of you has stood up to him yet. 30 years of marriage you say?! At least 2 of you should be over 25. If you are over 25 and still living with him, he hasn't done a good job with you guys in terms of education. If you're not living with him, take your mother out of the house.

If you all continue to cover up for him and smile outside, he will continue with the abuse. Pastors don't like being called out I promise you.

27 Likes

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Naijacost22: 6:58pm On Dec 04, 2017
Its hard trying to choose whose side to be in a failed marriage . The major question is what would happen to you people if a divorce happens? Because you and your siblings survival and economic progress is the most important factor in this marriage believe me. Your parent have like 20 to 30 years left (if they live to 80). At this point you kids should be selfish for your survival cos your parents have messed up and their mess ups shouldn't destroy your destiny. Be wise ad do whats good for you and your siblings.

4 Likes

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Abbeyme: 6:59pm On Dec 04, 2017
No, it is not right.

Let it be the choice of your mother. She is of age and knows what is good for her.

Yes, you can help. Train your mother to speak some correct sentences in proper English. Guide her to learn and retain at least 5 new sentences in a week.

Enroll her in a good evening school or get her a home teacher to capitalize on her learning capability.

Isaacfreeman99, Be the bond.

7 Likes

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Chrisrare: 6:59pm On Dec 04, 2017
U didn't tell us what ur mum did dat is making ur dad treat her like u described. U sure your mum treats ur dad with respect and isn't the nagging type??

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by mrmajor5: 6:59pm On Dec 04, 2017
Be the reason for them to stay together, divorce is not a good option my dear
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by habeeb246(m): 6:59pm On Dec 04, 2017
Oh
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by oganology33(m): 6:59pm On Dec 04, 2017
It's Wrong.
Y not dis-father him urself.

1 Like

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Nobody: 6:59pm On Dec 04, 2017
Bruh, i know that feel when any of your loved one is abused (mentally, physically, etc). Those people that are saying he should nt advice his mum to do the next best thing, maybe separate 4 a while and let the pastor say she traveled or went 4 vacation or watever. Sometimes i dnt knw why a lot of bad news emanates from pastors. Use wisdom sha. U must probably hate ur dad
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by BiafranBushBoy: 6:59pm On Dec 04, 2017

10 Likes

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by jashar(f): 7:00pm On Dec 04, 2017
Hmmm...

Does your father have a spiritual authority over him?

I'm more interested in what he preaches since the basis and foundation of Christianity is love.

If your mum is open to the idea and if you guys (children) can afford it, move her out of the toxic environment. If she's not responsive, leave her to her fate. She has chosen to bear that cross, let her carry it.

You can also let her know that there is Adult education....

3 Likes

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Nobody: 7:00pm On Dec 04, 2017
I almost shed a tear while reading this cry

He didn't marry the woman he loved. He married wrongly. Now, the passion is no more.

The same reason this institution called Marriage demands all of my care and time. I can't marry a woman I can't discuss my PASSIONS and GOALS with o. I love beauty and a nice body but my PURPOSE comes first. We must possess some "mental resemblance".

DIVORCE is a NO NO. It's too late. Just keep praying and enduring.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by UbanmeUdie: 7:00pm On Dec 04, 2017
shocked



Dear poster,


I can only say, I sorry for u!
Keep your family matters to yourself and deal with it on the altar of prayers.


Your parents, particularly your father needs your prayers more than you need the advice of people of the world on a sensitive issue as this.


Your mum is old enough to decide for herself.


It is well with your family IJN!

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by muller101(m): 7:00pm On Dec 04, 2017
Yes she should. After that you can marry your mum

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Pidginwhisper: 7:00pm On Dec 04, 2017
1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 shocked children!!! And she's being treated like poo by your father! A pastor for that matter. Op you need to consult the elders of the church he attends and let them know what's happening.

Most pastors are like that. When dem dey church they're the purest but for home front dem be beasts, and their families no go voice out coz dem no want tarnish dem family name.sad


If the church elders won't act of it..abeg change am for you father, tell am say you go disgrace am for church if he no stop to dey maltreated your Maale.

10 children!! shocked she deserves all the respect! Infact thunder fire your papa!

10 Likes

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Foxrain: 7:01pm On Dec 04, 2017
Go ahead son ,your father is a jerk!

2 Likes

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by 0temSapien: 7:01pm On Dec 04, 2017

See what our mummy G.Os are suffering in the hands of our Daddy G.Os. undecided
That was how one daddy left his wife at home to Otobolize with a fresher blood outside. Hmm.

1 Like

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by fulaniHERDSman(m): 7:01pm On Dec 04, 2017
angry
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Djboosting: 7:02pm On Dec 04, 2017
thorpido:
The decision is left to your mum.Unfortunately, she's of the mindset of die-put coupled with the fact that she has little education and lacks sufficient income.

You children should work hard and when you are able to be on your own,take your mom with you.
Pastor or no pastor,men like your dad have regrets when they are old and don't get attention from the children or wife.

Gbam! you said a key point.

Problem is; this issue has been polluting the minds of the children on what MARRIAGE truly is and what it should mean. And come few years, this same pattern might occur in the lives of your younger ones too, because all the father-figure in their lives is doing is treating his other half like some worthless hand.

But here's the kicker, by the time your dad gets old, then he'll realize there's nothing more important than family.

What I'd advice is for you to look for a side legit long-lasting business that could be fetching you #2 + #2 daily that you can use to lessen the burden on your mom.


She's in this marriage right now because of her children. Not because of the "die-together couple mindset", but because there's no other way out for you (children). She doesn't have a financial capacity to take care of you even if she decides to call it quits with your father.

So your mom is taking the bruises, not because of "love", but because she's seeing the bigger picture - THE WELL-BEING of her children.

It's time for you at this stage as the firstborn not to buy expensive accessories, but to save and struggle so you can help clean this bruises and sweat of her face really soon.

Because...there's no human god greater than what some mothers do for their children.

I respect your mom.

Lessen the load for your mom.

And I rest my case.

23 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by jashar(f): 7:02pm On Dec 04, 2017
Ayo4251:
Notify me when this makes the front page

Beep beep...
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Moyinoluwa35(f): 7:02pm On Dec 04, 2017
Ur. Fathers is a mad man

2 Likes

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Adebanji1950: 7:03pm On Dec 04, 2017
isaacfreeman99:
Hi good evening Romancelanders this is my first time to seek for help or advice here,

I need your advice on this issue,
my mother may die before her time, she's suffering, and not happy in her marriage with my dad, she's just enduring and not enjoying her marriage,
she is enduring it because she grew up in a broken home under a single parent and she knew what she passed through and according to her she don't want her children to experience the same thing so She'll rather die for and with her children.
she's always abused physically and emotionally by my Dad, hurt and disrespected severely by her so-called pastor husband,
my dad is a pastor for nearly 30 years with a global church, the problem here is that my mother is not educated, but she had 10 children with my dad, but my dad feels like she's not worthy to be his wife now both of them are in their 50's.
my mother is very intelligent, she can read the bible very well in our local language, and can speak little pidgin English, she's a fast learner, if my dad want to train her it will be easy but he's not just interested in that, note that when they both got married my dad too was not educated, it was years later that he went back to school and did his PhD and still further on to a theological seminary, sometimes he do wish that my mother should die so that he can get free and marry a woman of his class.
please I need your advice here, I suggested to my mum that he should live him but could not convinced her, she's too religious, always saying that the Bible does not encouraged divorce, and my dad was the first man and only man she knew in her entire life, my father does not know the value of children, sometimes I do question God that "God they said that everything you do is perfect but why did you allowed this to happened?? giving 10 good children to someone who don't care or know the value or worth of a child, wife and family??"
this has physically, mentally or psychologically effect on us his children especially we the 3 boys, none of us see value, happiness or joy in marriage, I personally see marriage as a prison or bondage, same with my 2 brothers any time I speak with them concerning marriage none of them seems to be interested or ready for that shit.
marriage was meant to be enjoyed and not to be endured, getting married to the right person makes and keep one happy and it affects your lifespan positively, you live longer and healthier.
guys help me with your ideals and plans, I can't sit my father down or report him to the Church, he may curse and disowned us all since I'm the first son. my dad can be so violent.

please don't insult my father remember he's a pastor, pastors too are human.

If you have to come to a public place like this for advice you're not fit to advice anyone. Africans don't sit their father down or talk down on their father especially regarding his home. You are basically challenging his manhood, it's an abomination, stay away from his marriage, respect your mother's decision also.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by chynie: 7:03pm On Dec 04, 2017
If your dad abuses your mom physically in your presence abuse him back physically
Believe me he wouldn't try it again

4 Likes

Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Ycmia: 7:03pm On Dec 04, 2017
oro re, ologbon ewa

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